Doula, Nurse, Midwife gift? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 11-16-2011, 11:36 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My doula suggested I make a small gift for my nurse (we are delivering in a hospital).  Small gift of chocolates, candy, or small lotion/soap combo.

 

So I'm wondering if I should make my doula a gift as well?  If she gets a gift should my Midwife get one too?  I have already planned to make my aunt a spa gift (homemade lotion, soap, body wash, scrub, and maybe pick up some slippers or eye mask).  Since she will be staying with me for 2 weeks after little one is born.  I just wonder how big the gifts for the doula/midwife need to be and if it's even needed to give them all a gift?  I mean after all I am paying for their services (hope that doesn't sound rude).

 

Anyone else doing gifts?  Who for and what are you giving?


Stephanie
Momma to Gavin (3/24/09), Heart broken 6/13/10, TTC
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#2 of 11 Old 11-16-2011, 11:51 AM
 
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I find the idea of thinking of yet another gift totally horrifying! 

 

That said, I will do my best to show those who help me that I appreciate their help in a material way.  I'm seeing a midwife practice so I won't know who will be at my delivery until that day.  I will likely send a card and a pic after the fact to the whole practice.  I will likely give my doula a cash tip.  And, I will bring brownies from a good bakery for the floor nurses at the hospital if we can manage to pick them up at the right time.

 

Edited to say: horrifying in that I hate gift buying and can't stand adding more things to my enormous and daunting to-do list.  I do actually like showing people that I appreciate their help and I love presents!


Partner to DH and mom to DD1 (3/2008) and DD2 (born 1/2012).
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#3 of 11 Old 11-16-2011, 12:00 PM
 
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DDC.

 

I saw a similar thread posted in a group and I can't post there.  Anyway, I am having a different experience this time and I'm wondering if I should get my midwife a gift and if so, what to get.  Like you, I almost feel like "well, I'm paying you", but then, I also think it's a nice gesture. 

 

Some ideas I've toyed around with - flowers, a small basket of treats - chocolate, soap, teas, etc., or something midwifery-related from  Changing the Present in my midwife's name.  (I haven't thoroughly researched them yet and I'm not totally convinced it would be the best gift for this particular woman.) 

 

I hope you get some good ideas on this thread.  I will be watching.

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#4 of 11 Old 11-16-2011, 07:57 PM
 
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great thread. was thinking of something like a gift certificate for a restaurant  - I know my midwives are both really busy and work a lot, figure most people enjoy a nice meal out but not all like to pay for it.


Katie, wife to the one, mother to Henry and Ruby.
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#5 of 11 Old 11-27-2011, 11:55 PM
 
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I think even having a candy dish with Hershey kisses would be good for the nurses... During labor they know you appreciate them. I was thinking about a doula gift too. And I kind of think the same... I AM paying for her... I think it may depend on the birth. It's not something that I would buy until after the birth I think. I saw a few doula necklaces on etsy that look neat, but I think I'm going to kind of play it by ear and see how it feels after the birth.


Wife since 2004. Mommy to DS (2005) and DD (2008) and my hopefully VBA2C baby DD due Feb 2012!

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#6 of 11 Old 12-04-2011, 06:27 PM
 
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Do you all know Etsy.com?  You can search for Doula, Midwife, etc and find neat gifts that they may like.  I have a lot of neat ideas on my Favorites if you want to see them. 

 

I have been both at births and don't expect a gift ever.  Want to know what I really appreciate though?  I love getting a picture in the mail of the babe (and family) and I love getting to read the birth story.  I also so appreciate time together post partum to process with the family.  Those are what I so cherish as a birth attendant!


doula mama to my nov 05 and my feb 08 babes who wrap me in love.
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#7 of 11 Old 12-05-2011, 06:19 AM
 
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I'm thinking about this as well and will probably either make something or buy something as a thanks to her entire staff. Usually in situations like this i do delicious home made goodies but my MW has very strict dietary limitations.

Jesse, mama to my three wonderful boys, our newest born at home late Jan 2012 luxlove.gif

 

 

 

 

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#8 of 11 Old 12-07-2011, 10:47 AM
 
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Oh my god, I have to get them all gifts?! Oh, geez. I am having a home birth with 2 midwives, a birthing assistant, and a doula. I didn't know there was a gifting etiquette for birth too! Well, the Etsy idea is good, they have a ton of cool things. 

 

However, after talking to my husband I think a consumable gift would be nice (one of my 2 midwives has been baby catching for 11 years, so I am sure she has every trinket in the book). I was thinking about making chocolates for them using the Goddess with Child Chocolate and Confectionery Mold (about halfway down the page) from ThePaganStore.com. Then I can make little gift boxes with milk, dark, and white chocolate "goddesses" for each person on my birth team (I might even mix some edible herbs in the chocolate to make them extra special). I was also planning on getting my 2 midwives a bar of Sage Femme soap and a cedar soap dish from a local (to me) artisan and my BA and Doula each a set of 3 soap balls from the same seller. 

 

Then I end up spending about $6-12 per person, which isn't so bad, and they are either local crafts or home-made goods which is a bonus. And consumables are always useful.


Pagan mama, married to DH since 10/27/09. Had a wonderful h20homebirth.gif with baby D in 2012!

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#9 of 11 Old 12-07-2011, 10:47 AM
 
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Anyone else have any ideas?


Pagan mama, married to DH since 10/27/09. Had a wonderful h20homebirth.gif with baby D in 2012!

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#10 of 11 Old 12-07-2011, 11:29 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by joanielspeak View Post

Oh my god, I have to get them all gifts?! Oh, geez. I am having a home birth with 2 midwives, a birthing assistant, and a doula. I didn't know there was a gifting etiquette for birth too! Well, the Etsy idea is good, they have a ton of cool things. 

 

However, after talking to my husband I think a consumable gift would be nice (one of my 2 midwives has been baby catching for 11 years, so I am sure she has every trinket in the book). I was thinking about making chocolates for them using the Goddess with Child Chocolate and Confectionery Mold (about halfway down the page) from ThePaganStore.com. Then I can make little gift boxes with milk, dark, and white chocolate "goddesses" for each person on my birth team (I might even mix some edible herbs in the chocolate to make them extra special). I was also planning on getting my 2 midwives a bar of Sage Femme soap and a cedar soap dish from a local (to me) artisan and my BA and Doula each a set of 3 soap balls from the same seller. 

 

Then I end up spending about $6-12 per person, which isn't so bad, and they are either local crafts or home-made goods which is a bonus. And consumables are always useful.


Personally, I don't think you have to.  I am on the fence on whether I'll be getting my midwife a gift.  I am paying her and I don't exactly view this in the same way I view other services (i.e. a massage therapist who receives a tip).  I hope you do not feel like you should give her something.  smile.gif

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#11 of 11 Old 01-01-2012, 03:02 PM
 
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We tipped our birth team with gift cards to a local spa http://naturallyborn.net/questions-about-midwives/5189-do-you-tip-a-midwife

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