Anxiety with breastfeeding - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 11-21-2011, 09:37 PM - Thread Starter
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I am having lots of anxiety about BF. My son was born at week 35 and was in the NICU for 7 days. My BF days started with me pumping and then trying to nurse him the day after he was born. He took bottles like a champ, and ended up preferring them because it was easier for him. I tried to BF when he came home and it was exhausting because he would fall asleep or scream and after awhile we just started giving him a bottle because the LC kind of encouraged it since it was easier. Basically I pumped for 5 months before going to formula. During this time of pumping I was not able to make enough to feed him. He wanted at least 10 more oz than I was making. At first my SIL donated milk and then and friend of hers then we just supplemented with formula after donations ran out. Eventually, my little guy chubbed out and "caught up" and I was able to use mostly bm to feed him. Lets just say it was an emotional time for me. I felt inadequate and like a failure, but over time I just accepted that is just the way things happened and became okay with the switch to formula. because of all of this I am worried about what will happen with this baby. I REALLY want to exclusively BF and not supplement with bottles. I like the convience of breasts and would LOVE to have that special bond that BF has. I have a relative who is a LLL leader and family support this time, but I am still worried that I will have a preemie and have to deal with the NICU telling me what to do. I don't want the easy way out and I want to BFonly. My worry is that if we end up in the NICU the cycle will repeat. Does anyone have some great words of insight on how to prepare myself for another preemie or with hospital staff in general when it comes to feeding  a newborn, preemie, non preemie, supplementing( do I have to?) Words of encouragement are welcome too! Thanks ladies for reading this.

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#2 of 5 Old 11-21-2011, 09:44 PM
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no advice, just a hug, couldnt read and not try to calm you down a little :)   I dont know much about bfing yet, but I do know that in general stress leads to more stress, so try to relax and think really positively, ENVISION yourself happily and comfortably and plentifully breastfeeding your little baby... and breathe :)

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#3 of 5 Old 11-21-2011, 09:57 PM - Thread Starter
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I know for a fact I was super stressed and was crying all the time plus had some depression. I am trying to think of ways to relax,but I just want this to work so bad that it is freaking me out! Sheesh! I need some wine! lol

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#4 of 5 Old 11-22-2011, 12:43 AM
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sorry it was so hard, grapeape!


did you find attending any LLL meetings helpful or would you now?  maybe building some relationships with leaders and other moms or hearing their stories would help you feel safe and supported in this pregnancy.


would it help reading any books about breastfeeding and breastfeeding your preemie?  just a refresher or maybe some new ideas?  reading trusted online sites.  meeting with the LC, again just to brainstorm how to have great things in place.


considering what you can do to boost your supply this time around in case it's low?  my friend has really low supply and has worked so hard to do everything she can to boost her supply.  medications, homepathics, etc you can consider and natural herbal supplements, perhaps.  having these on hand for as soon as they are safe to start taking.


considering what didn't work well last time that you can change this time around and what worked really well last time so you can have that in place, again.  being able to relax and focus on BFing post partum so having people bring you food and play with your toddler may help. 


we have a breastmilk bank in our state where people can buy EBM if they want to avoid buying formula.  we have local EBM sharing resources, too.  i know people plan to pump for their friends with a need for extra EMB so maybe you can ask in advance for someone or a few someones to do this?


much love and healing to you!  you are not a failure.  you worked hard and did everything you could at the time.  and, you are preparing this time to do your best.  you are awesome.

doula mama to my nov 05 and my feb 08 babes who wrap me in love.
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#5 of 5 Old 11-27-2011, 10:52 PM
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The main issue sounds like nipple confusion. He wanted the bottle it was faster, easier to grasp... instant fulfillment. The goal is to make sure he doesn't get a bottle. If you, God forbid, end up with another preemie, as them to use a syringe for feeding. Bottles confuse everything and when the ultimate goal is breastfeeding you want to keep ALL OTHER OPTIONS away from the baby. 

My son was given a bottle behind my back and it took me 9 days of syringe feeding to get him back on the nipple. It was horrible and exhausting, but then he nursed for 3+ years. My daughter latched right on RIGHT away and is still nursing at 3 years. One experience won't necessarily be the next. Remember to relax. Baby feels your nerves. You can do it!

Wife since 2004. Mommy to DS (2005) and DD (2008) and my hopefully VBA2C baby DD due Feb 2012!


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