Might this be your last baby? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 20 Old 01-03-2012, 02:37 PM - Thread Starter
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DH and I are on a baby having hiatus after this. Two in less than two years was not our plan, but its what happened. We are in a very small apartment in the back of an old store and we just signed the deed for 11 acres across the street. We plan to build a house over there, but it will take a while. Basically, I dont feel like we have room for one more kid (I honestly dont think we have room for this kid AND our dog and cat, but you know.....). We are going to be mighty cramped for the next few years, so Im planning to get an IUD after this one is born. I really dont want to have kids past 32 (for a lot of reasons, but mainly because I grew up with super young parents, Ill be older than they were, and I greatly dislike large age gaps.) Im almost 28, so to me this means that if our house isnt built in the next 3-4 years, then its pretty likely that these two will be our only children. And...that is a pretty likely scenario considering our current financial status. SO, these last few weeks are uncomfortable and full of heartburn and headaches and awful sleep, but Im trying to relish in it because this may be the last time Im ever pregnant.

What about you? Are you planning to have more? Are you planning not to have any more? Is this your last pregnancy?

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Adaline love.gif (3/20/10), and Charlie brokenheart.gif (1/26/12- 4/10/12) and our identical  rainbow1284.gif  twins Callie and Wendy (01/04/13)

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#2 of 20 Old 01-03-2012, 02:54 PM
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This is it for me too. We're only having one unless we adopt. It wasn't exactly a breeze to conceive and with a miscarriage last year, I've had enough of fertility. Pregnancy is hard work and I haven't relished the process, but I do want to remember what it was like. I bought a pregnancy journal at the beginning that I've barely wrote in so for these next few weeks, I'm going to go back and fill it in.

DD Seraphina born at home on 2/21/2012! 

"Childbirth is more admirable than conquest, more amazing than self-defense, and as courageous as either one."
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#3 of 20 Old 01-03-2012, 03:38 PM
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This is our last, too. My husband wasn't sure if he even wanted children. But decided that he did want one, and went on to want another. I think he wanted our son to have a sibling more than he only wanted one. Big compromise on his part. I, however, could have three. So, this being our last baby is a little sad to me.

The only thing that I think will make it easier for me is that I am 35. If I was a lot younger, and had to go through years of being able to easily have another, it might be another situation.

I am trying to cherish all of these last moments, knowing that is exactly what they are.... the last.

Michele married to Dh since Dec 2000 and happily sharing a home with 3 kitties, 1 doggy, DS R born 8/25/09 into the arms of his mama, and DS E born 2/25/2012

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#4 of 20 Old 01-03-2012, 04:14 PM
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This is our last.  Dh is getting the big "V" in 2 weeks.  We are happy with 3 =)


One sleepy mama to ds #1 (5) and ds #2...my VBAC baby (2) and expecting #3 sometime in 2/2012!!

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#5 of 20 Old 01-03-2012, 07:07 PM
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We are not planning on having any more.  This one will make 2 for us.  I really want 3 but DH has decided that he only wants 2 now :(.  So we will see.  I'm sad to think this will be our last pregnancy. 

Momma to Gavin (3/24/09), Heart broken 6/13/10, TTC
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#6 of 20 Old 01-03-2012, 08:27 PM
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This will probably be our last. I just turned 36 and started at 28...my dh will be 40 this year. He was an only child, I came from 5 so 3 is a good compromise. I also do not normally conceive or carry pregnancies easily. This is actually our 6th known pregnancy and only 3rd to full term. I figure after this one I will have been pregnant and/or nursing for 10-12 years straight and it is time to get my body back and move on to the next chapter of family life. I love my kids and love being around kids but this pregnancy was not the most fun and my oldest son is now 7 and in a whole new chapter in his life.

AP, Homeschooling, Part-Time working mom with 3 rambunctious boys fencing.gifbabyf.gifall born with love at home. (04 & 08 & 12).

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#7 of 20 Old 01-03-2012, 09:40 PM
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This is possibly our last as well. Makes me a little sad to think this pregnancy is almost over and could be the last time I'm pregnant. Although I told I my husband that if he wants 3 to be the magic number then he has to go in for the Vac. In the last 3 1/2 years I've had two unpleasant hospital births and a ruptured appendix so it's his turn. I turn 30 this year and said I would be done at that age but I secretly wouldn't mind a 4th. I might change my mind with 3 children ages 4 and under thoughdizzy.gif

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#8 of 20 Old 01-03-2012, 09:55 PM
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i doubt this will be our last babe.  we are open to being pregnant, again or adopting our next babe after this Feb one.

doula mama to my nov 05 and my feb 08 babes who wrap me in love.
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#9 of 20 Old 01-04-2012, 07:49 AM
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DH and I are the type of people who think everything through in great detail before making a decision.  So, whether it was 2 kids or 3 kids was something we always agreed to wait and see about.  Throughout this pregnancy though I've found myself thinking I want to do this again.  I want to have a third baby.  I always imagined I would have 3 or more kids and DH was always set on 2.  Our compromise has been that we'll wait to see what it's like to have 2 kids and then decide about a third.


I have been thinking about this a lot.  With my previa and possible accreta, I am facing a possibility of having an emergency hysterectomy.  And, I'm trying to come to terms with it...  So, after spending the first part of my pregnancy sure I'd want to have another baby, I've now found myself thinking about all the benefits of stopping after 2 kids.  The fact that having a 3 1/2 year old is incredibly fun and it will be great when the baby is 3 or so and we can all together go on long vacations, enjoy museums and chapter books, go canoing, etc...    Rather than having a baby tag along on big kid activities or a big kid have to be patient while we do baby stuff.  The other thoughts are that it would be nice to actually sleep through the night, have more time with DH, have more time to concentrate on my work, etc...  And, if we keep up the current spacing I'd be 39/40 when the third baby would be born and it would almost certainly be another c-section. 


So, I don't know but as I said it's something I'm thinking about a lot.  It's hard though knowing that the decision might be made for us.



Partner to DH and mom to DD1 (3/2008) and DD2 (born 1/2012).
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#10 of 20 Old 01-04-2012, 09:32 AM
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I've said all pregnancy that I'm done. But mostly we'll see! 

bf.jpg Sami brokenheart.gif, wife to jammin.gif, mama to reading.gif Tate 10/14/05, moon.gifKaleb 12/17/07, angel.gifcandleflicker2.gif Bram 3/13/10-11/17/12, mischievous.gif Alden 2/1/12, pos.gif October 2014

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#11 of 20 Old 01-05-2012, 05:46 AM
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this is totally it and if we have a surgical birth again, i have already confirmed with super ob that tubes will be tied at that time. 

kind of weird.

eta: whoa!  i did not realize you're so young!  if i were your age, i probably would NOT be done right now either. 

Is it getting lonely in the echo chamber yet?

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#12 of 20 Old 01-05-2012, 06:34 PM
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This will be if DH gets his way :)  He only wants 2, and both were kind of surprises so he didn't really "agree" to having either of them.  He's a great father and loves kids but we got pg right before he started grad school and he has had a hard time finding a job in his field, so it's been more financial stress that has made him hesitant to have kids.


He got offered a job in his field starting in May so I'm not sure if being more financially stable and more successful career wise will make him more open to another child.  I've always wanted 3 or 4 kids - I'm only 31 and would want to wait at least 3 years anyway so I'm not too concerned about needing to make this decision now.  And I could also see myself being happy stopping at 2 - there have been times during this pg when I've thought I would be fine with this being our last and it would be nice to move onto another season of my life, so we'll see. 

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#13 of 20 Old 01-05-2012, 06:46 PM
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It might. I'm fairly certain that I want another one, but each baby has been a struggle to get DH to agree to. So I won't be surprised if this is it. That would mean a lot of years of TTA, though.

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#14 of 20 Old 01-06-2012, 03:28 AM
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I'm 99.5% sure that this will be our last, but that tiny 0.5% is sort of blocking us from considering a vasectomy right away.  I have no idea what we're going to do for BC after this baby, though, since we used FAM (successfully) for ten years but it was never a big deal if we had an oops.  Now it's kind of a big deal...and none of the usual BC options seem all that great to me (the hormonal stuff really screws me up).

grateful mama to DD1, born before the robins came, 2010.  excited to welcome a little man into the world in early February 2012! kid.gif

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#15 of 20 Old 01-06-2012, 12:19 PM
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I'm also 99.5% sure that this baby (our third boy) will be our last. There's a part of me that's a little sad that I'll never have a daughter...and that's what keeps that .5% open.

We used FAM with great success to conceive, but I've never used it to prevent. I also don't really enjoy hormonal birth control and I don't think my DH would be in favor of a vasectomy, so we'll talk about our options when I see my fertility begin to return.

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#16 of 20 Old 01-06-2012, 06:24 PM
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This our second baby and is likely to be our last unless we have a surprise down the line or our life changes dramatically. Financially a third child would be a pretty big strain for us, and tbh, I'm not sure if I could emotionally handle more than 2 children at this point in my life. However, I am only 25 and neither my dh or I are willing to consider permanent birth control at this point, so I suppose only time will tell.

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#17 of 20 Old 01-07-2012, 08:00 AM
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I am pretty sure this is our last. We are both 38 and it took us 3 years to get the courage to go for #2 (transitioning from 0 kids to 1 kids was super intense for both of us). If we were pretty sure we were done last time, I am going to gues that after one more year with a newborn we will KNOW that we are all done. I am definitely feeling done with pregnancy. It is not my favorite thing.

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#18 of 20 Old 01-07-2012, 07:06 PM
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I don't think we're done. This is our third boy, and DH and I talk about #4 pretty often. We even bought a lot of gender neutral stuff this time (baby gear stuff, like pack n play-etc) and plan to save, in case we ever have a different gender. It was hard to conceive this baby, and I had 2 miscarriages in between DS2 and this baby, but at the end of the day I still want to have another. Since DS2 is autistic, we have a 25% chance with having another boy that he will fall on the spectrum as well. Most people think I'm nuts, but I don't really find it challenging. Just different. I don't see it as a handicap, so it hasn't really stopped our want for more children... although some people in our family think we're absolutely crazy. DH was really hoping for a girl this time around, and I really wanted a third boy. I know that if by chance we don't end up ever getting pregnant again that we will definitely adopt. DH comes from a family with 4 kids. Adoption has always been in our plan, it's just a matter of when.  

Jesse, mama to my three wonderful boys, our newest born at home late Jan 2012 luxlove.gif





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#19 of 20 Old 01-09-2012, 08:52 AM
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This will be our last.  My husband and I have a large blended family...he has three and I have three!  I conceived at 41 shortly before turning 42 after being on Yasmin for 5 years and having just one cycle, it was a wonderful surprise.  Although...I've been wracked with fears regarding my age and the health of the baby.  We declined all testing so it's very much an unknown for us. I do wish I was younger as I would love this baby to have a sibling close in age.  I feel blessed though, that I've had the opportunity to do this again as I love being pregnant, love being a mom and I finally am able to have the home birth I've always wanted.  It is going to be wonderful to have a husband, this time that is involved and "on the same page"...I'm just really looking forward to it all and yet, it's bittersweet knowing that these will all be "lasts." 

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#20 of 20 Old 01-09-2012, 10:20 PM
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Yes this will be our last. I had a really rough pregnancy this time around with Hyperemesis  in the beginning and have been anemic the last few months. I feel sad that I was so sick this time around and unable to really enjoy my last pregnancy. I am trying to savor it during these last few weeks,  the good and the bad. Knowing it isn't going to happen again, it was just too hard on me this time. DH has decided on a Vasectomy(sp?) we just need to find a way to pay for it since he is uninsured, and soon after the birth hopefully.

All 3 of our kids were unplanned the first when we were just teenagers. I was always hoping in my heart for 3 so I am very happy with ending my baby having days after this and very thankful for the children I already have.

I always thought it would be really hard to say that and to be done for sure and be okay with it, but i think maybe that is why this pregnancy was rough and I was so sick as a way for me to be okay with it, a blessing in disguise. There will always be Grandmotherhood to look forward too!

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