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-   -   Lovin' too soon? Ouch (http://www.mothering.com/forum/16962-february-2012/1349826-lovin-too-soon-ouch.html)

eternamariposa 04-04-2012 05:08 PM

I am about 5 weeks post partum following a healthy homebirth with my little girl.  The birth was good, I had some swelling due to pushing to soon and horrendous back labor-back labor with all previous deliveries as well-but overall it was healthy and "normal" .  Anyhow, I was so looking foward to some reconnecting with the dh and it was awesome but ever since i feel totally out of whack, like my abs and lady business have totally regressed.  My groin area is throbbing and sore at the end of a long day again and it is much more challenging to activate my abs.  Should I worry that I actually hurt something or should i just take it as a sign to take it easy and focus on contnuing to heal?


Maternalove 04-05-2012 10:45 AM

First off, I'm jealous... LOL I'm almost 7 weeks out and still healing a tear. I just had this conversation with my dr. She said everything has lost tone and it's normal. Kegals and exercise will help everything feel normal again. 

 

If your breastfeeding make sure your using some KY or something. And tell DH to be gentle. LOL Good luck HTH.


Adaline'sMama 04-05-2012 10:51 AM

So, what does using lube have to do with breastfeeding?

DH and I got back to business pretty quickly after both kiddos, we just avoided penetration for the first few encounters. I feel like it is really all about each person's body and how they feel. If you are hurting at the end of the day, you might not want to have sex, as long as he is slow and gentle its really doubtful that he could hurt anything. My concern this time was the scare of infection.

Maternalove 04-05-2012 11:42 AM

Generally speaking, you produce less natural lube when you are breastfeeding so it's a good idea to add some extra.


GoddessKristie 04-05-2012 12:44 PM

I should not have read this LOL. I am DYING to get going! My 6wk appt is tomorrow, so I'm crossing my fingers for a green light.Any mention of it has me miserable with the wait!

 

Anyway, it sounds to me like you just need to take it slow. If I weren't feeling better after a few days of rest I'd let my provider know.


mamanoish 04-05-2012 12:58 PM

Lol, I am surprised you ladies are so willing. I made DH wait until after 6wks, even though I had no tearing. We finally did at 7wks after the all clear (just to shut him up) and it was fine during, but sore as crap after. I also had spotting. It was better within two days or so. But I think we did it again a week later and only one position hurt, without being graphic, lol. Since then we've avoided that with no issues.

But I'm literally shocked at all of this sex drive. I have NO DESIRE. Poor DH. but I know he has needs so I can't torture him forever. Every time I'm nursing I completely lose my sex drive.

HumbleLuna 04-06-2012 10:15 PM



Quote:
Originally Posted by mamanoish View Post

. I have NO DESIRE. Poor DH. but I know he has needs so I can't torture him foreve. Every time I'm nursing I completely lose my sex drive.


I am with you on this one. I am only 4 weeks out but I lost my sex drive for almost a year with my second child, i think i need ovulation to have a sex drive.


GoddessKristie 04-07-2012 07:15 AM

I got the all clear yesterday! It was a beautiful (and mutual) 3 minutes. lol.gif I was sore after where I tore, but this morning I was ready to go again, I haven't had anything you described, but I still don't think it sounds unusual. How are you feeling today? Have you tried again?


eternamariposa 04-11-2012 01:34 PM

So it took about a week for me to feel like i had my progress back-in terms of healing after birth.  I think we were a little too eager and we didn't really take it easy, which seemed like a good idea at the time, lol.  Anyway, now I am trying to focus on exercise and dumb old kegels,  am i the only one who always feels like i am doing them wrong?



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