My 11 week old has been taken from me. - Page 4 - Mothering Forums

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#91 of 101 Old 04-19-2012, 06:17 AM
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Oh my, a mothers worst nightmare.  I am so so sorry....tears, just tears. 


Another support group that helped me  -  They have local support groups.  I will be praying for you and your family, for your little boy.  You did not deserve this...

K, Momma to angel3.gifA(born still 8/22/00), DD A(1/31/06) and DS A(3/13/08), and Baby A (2/2/12)

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#92 of 101 Old 04-19-2012, 07:20 PM
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I'm so very very sorry for this.  My heart breaks with yours.  If it would help to talk about it please do.  I know there are so many here that are supporting you!

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#93 of 101 Old 04-28-2012, 12:41 PM
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Checking in again to see how you are doing, Adaline's Mama. I'm still keeping you in my thoughts. I hope you are still getting plenty of support at home. Be kind to yourself. I'm so very sad that this happened.

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#94 of 101 Old 04-29-2012, 04:57 PM
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I know your entire world is falling apart, but please know that many of us continue to have you in our thoughts. This is our worst nightmare as parents, but you aren't alone. Sending you love and support.

ribboncesarean.gif cesareans happen.
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#95 of 101 Old 04-30-2012, 01:31 PM - Thread Starter
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Thanks so much everyone. I have an amazing support network here, and I am so grateful for all of their help. Folks have organized to bring me food, give me rides places, and call to check in. These past three weeks have been such a mixture of emotions and not knowing what to expect. I feel like I'd like to write more about what it has felt like eventually, but right now it is still so raw and I just dont feel like I can articulate my feelings. I'm in therapy, going to a support group, and trying to maintain physical activity. I'm still pretty non-functional when it comes to daily life. I am so anxious all the time that I cant cook and can barely change diapers without making a huge mess. But, thankfully people have really stepped up to help us out. DH and I are doing as well as can be expected. Both of our emotions range from severe to numb several times throughout the day, so it's just been important to know where each other is emotionally. DD is doing really well. She has had more attention and sugar lavished upon her in the past three weeks than ever, so I fear that she feels like it is just a vacation. Hopefully it wont be to hard to adjust to a more normal life when we make that move. We are still staying with my parents in the city 4-5 nights a week, slowly easing our way back into our house. It's hard to be there because it is so quiet and isolating, but at the same time, Charlie is buried there, so I want to be home. Thanks so much for all of your support.

Edited to add:
We got the final autopsy report today, and his cause of death is undetermined, and is being called SIDS. We were really hoping for some concrete answers.

Holly and David partners.gif

Adaline love.gif (3/20/10), and Charlie brokenheart.gif (1/26/12- 4/10/12) and our identical  rainbow1284.gif  twins Callie and Wendy (01/04/13)

SIDS happens. 

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#96 of 101 Old 04-30-2012, 01:40 PM
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Thanks for the update.  I'm glad to hear you are doing as well as can be expected and that you have a lot of support.  Wishing you peace and healing.

Strong single mama to Ethan (9/09) and Rowyn (7/12)
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#97 of 101 Old 04-30-2012, 04:57 PM
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I know you don't know me well, but I feel like I know you, as I read here a lot more than I post, and you post a lot.  I read as you talked about your daughter and your pregnancy and your new baby. This news has broken my heart. I just wanted to send you the most overwhelming and amazing hug and healing energy I can muster.

Certified Crazy™ Wife to my Spiderman husband luxlove.gif(Aug '01)


Super proud Momma  to DD (Jan'00), DD (Apr '02) and DS (Jun '04)

Always loving and missing our Baby James angel.gif born sleeping at 19 weeks (July '03).



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#98 of 101 Old 04-30-2012, 05:19 PM
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I am so very sorry for your loss, I can't even imagine how you must feel :( My heart goes out to you and your family candle.gif

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#99 of 101 Old 05-01-2012, 10:26 AM
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Adaline's Mama, thanks for checking back in with us. I'm so glad to hear you have a strong support system both logistically and emotionally.


I think your daughter feeling like it's some kind of vacation is really a good thing. She has felt the loss and this is how people grieve, they help take care of the family and remind them how much they are loved. If you were completely isolated and no one was there to give her extra love and attention this could be a very traumatic experience for her. It's my opinion that this is the best situation you could have for her in these circumstances.


I know that has to be very hard to be left with a final report of "SIDS." I want to let you know though, and I'm sure you've heard this from others who have lost loved ones, even with the most concrete of answers, there is still always that "why?" and the "what if?" It is just part of coming to terms with everything. I know it makes it much harder for you having it be so vague and really having none of the "why's" answered, but I did want to let you know having questions unanswered is unfortunately part of grief.


You are doing such an amazing job. These things happen, everyone knows that, but it is so much different when it is actually happening to you, when you are in the thick of it, and when it becomes part of your life and who you are. Keep taking it one day at a time. I'm still thinking of you...  

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#100 of 101 Old 05-01-2012, 10:32 AM
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AdelaidesMama, thank you for checking back in.  I've been thinking about you often and sending loving and healing thoughts your way. As others have said on this thread, all throughout my pregnancy, I really appreciated your point of view and writings in our DDC.  I can only hope that you continue to heal.  Much love your way. 

1st baby, born 2/25/12. femalesling.GIF. Married to environmentalist treehugger.gif husband, trying to stay calm and trust my body. namaste.gif

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#101 of 101 Old 05-02-2012, 05:46 PM
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Thank you for the update, Adaline'smama!  I've been thinking about you and hoping you're ok.  I'm sure this is a crazy time for you, and I'm so glad you've got support and help.  Best wishes to your family.

chicken3.gif mama to two teens and two tots partners.gif madly in love with DP guitar.gif

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