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-   -   Who have you told? (http://www.mothering.com/forum/16974-march-2012/1320319-who-have-you-told.html)

Dandy Lion 07-04-2011 04:05 PM

With my first pregnancy I didn't tell anyone until the end of my first trimester. Things are so different this time, and we keep spilling the beans! We've told our parents, a few friends, and his sister. Everyone has been told it's hush-hush for now (mostly because I don't want my boss to find out on Facebook).


Kyamo 07-04-2011 06:12 PM

We've told our parents and my sister and his brother.  Close family only for now.  I guess 12 weeks for public knowledge, but depending on how normal or sick I feel I might tell a friend earlier.  


zubeldia 07-04-2011 07:59 PM

I have absolutely no ability to keep this news to myself. I don't want to keep blurting it out but I can't seem to help it. My criteria is that if I would tell the person I had m/c'ed, then I will tell them I am pregnant. I am not quite sure if I am really keeping to this but part of me just wants to acknowledge that this is happening even if something goes wrong.

 

So..  I have told my parents, one of my sisters, a few good friends, a colleague, and my mum friends from my old due date club as many of them are also pregnant.


Harmony96 07-04-2011 08:21 PM

We've told our immediate families, a couple of friends here and there (but nobody local except one person who is sworn to secrecy), and way too many online people to count (but nothing on Facebook yet, lol).  I am teaching this summer at church and my co-teacher is pg and due in October, and I think I'm going to tell her a week from Wednesday, when I'll finally be six weeks (I found out at three weeks so even that feels like FOREVER lol).  Then on that Friday, there is a young ladies' Bible class at someone's home, and pretty much all the attendees are pregnant there, lol.  There were four of us in attendance this past Friday and every single one of us is pregnant, lol.  So it will be so fun to tell them.  There was a "group" of us pregnant when I was having DS, too, so it'll be fun to be part of the group again.  :)  Then right after that class, I'll probably come and post it on Facebook, and then it'll be a free-for-all, lol.


Fly Girl 07-04-2011 10:59 PM

I've told my 2 best friends from back home, because I HAD to tell someone!, but that's it. I didn't even tell my dad when he was in town visiting me this past weekend. I'm going to wait another couple of weeks before I tell my parents and we're going to tell DH's family in a couple of weeks when they are in town visiting.


biffer 07-04-2011 11:07 PM

Nice to meet you ladys!

 

We have told best friends and some family but we are going to be a little cautious this time around because I had a miscarriage a little over a year ago. It is just so crazy because we have only tired to get pregnant 3 times and succeeded all three time on the first try so it still seems a little surreal. Now i just have to cross my fingers for not multiples again. 


Kyamo 07-05-2011 04:42 AM



Quote:
Originally Posted by zubeldia View Post
 My criteria is that if I would tell the person I had m/c'ed, then I will tell them I am pregnant.


Yes, that's the criteria I'm using too.  


AmBam 07-05-2011 06:45 AM

Only my dh, best friend, and sil know. I'm planning on telling my other sil soon also. I lost my last pregnancy at almost 19 weeks. There is no way I can hide it very long but I'm going to try to hold out until 10 or 12 weeks. We'll see how well I do!


JunebugsMom 07-05-2011 10:46 AM

We haven't told anyone yet.  It felt strange sitting and talking with my mom yesterday and not telling her.  but I've had 2 m/cs and we are feeling very cautious.  I'm feeling really bloated though, so I'm not sure how long I will be able to hide it!  Actually I have a close local friend who I am thinking of telling soon because she is getting rid of a TON of baby stuff and I want her to give it to me instead lol.gif but I don't think she's very good at keeping secrets, lol


cameragirl 07-05-2011 04:07 PM

Nobody but my husband and OB so far. I just had a miscarriage in May, so I'm having beta quant screens twice this week. I'd rather wait to see that things are going as they should (at least for now) before we tell anyone, because last time my daughter found out. It was really rough on her when I had the miscarriage.

bcblondie 07-05-2011 07:38 PM

I had only told a couple very close friends until yesterday when I started bleeding. Now everyone knows.


bezark 07-06-2011 06:47 AM

Only DH and my best friend know right now. We had a m/c in October, so add us to the extra cautious boat.
We're going to try to hold out until at least 9-10 weeks.

3surfboys 07-06-2011 06:55 AM

Dh and I are keeping this to ourselves for as long as possible. (That is why I logged on here!! - its driving me nuts!!)  Its going to be tough to tell our friends and family that we are happy about this pregnancy when we've told them for years that we were done at 3. blush.gif

 

Dh has been putting out hints to the kids, trying to feel out their reaction.

 

 

 


Rainey Daye 07-06-2011 02:57 PM

With my Bug baby just about everyone knew the day I got the BFP. My husband CANNOT keep a secret and I knew he would blab at work so I told him that he HAD to call his mom on his way to work and I called my mom as soon as I saw him in the truck pulling out his phone...so the moms knew almost simultaneously. I then called a friend who told me she already knew I was pregnant (we'd discussed symptoms/the possibility of pregnancy) and that she'd told her husband that she just KNEW I was pregnant. It just kind of exploded from there. I think the first Twitter/Facebook references happened about a week or two after the BFP, but friends on an online forum were told after the second BFP (four days after the first one). 

 

With my angel baby in February I got a BFP on a Monday morning and planned on keeping it a secret from everyone (DH included) until I'd taken another test on the day AF was actually due (Thursday)...but then I started spotting and lost the baby the day before AF was due. When the spotting happened I told my SIL and when I got the first BFN's I told my husband and my mom. Quite a few people now know about the loss, but it just came out gradually.

 

With this munchkin, only a couple friends know so far (the one who had just KNOWN with Bug and then my SIL...DH's brother's wife). I'm planning on surprising DH either today or tomorrow with the first truly clear BFP (had four faint ones, but today's was very clear)...and with a "Big Brother" shirt on Bug. After that we will tell family members and some local friends...but will encourage them not to spread the info around online cause I want to wait a couple months for that...I'm a bit more nervous about my little sprite sticking this time around after losing my angel baby.

 

Obviously, I am not counting any mothering.com people in my count...cause I've been on the TTC boards for a few months now!!

 

Oh yeah...and the SIL who knows? She found out yesterday that she's pregnant too and she's due three days after me!!


GrowingPeaPod 07-09-2011 06:53 PM

So I dont know all the lingo yet but haven taken 5 home test all showing positive, just to be sure bought a digital read out and saw pregnant. Waiting 2 days after I should have started my period to tell DH. Right now we are trying to figure out when we should start telling everyone else. We are pretty excited this will be our first together. My DS is almost 7 so we know we need to tell him before anyone. We dont want him finding out by overhearing a phone conversation and we want him to feel a part of everything. We thought we would wait till August closer to 8-10 weeks. We just found out my SIL from out of state will be here on the 17th and now we debating telling DS that morning and then letting him be part of telling my side of the family. MIL had a daughter but gave her up for adoption when she was very young and when she knew we were thinking about TTC she has been crazy about me getting pregnant and it has to be a girl so I kind of want to hold off telling her as she has already been pretty overboard just knowing we were trying but not fair to tell him side of family and not his.

 

Any suggestions of how to tell an older child? His dad and step mom are due in september and they told him really soon and now has been worried there is not going to be enough room at that house for him. :( DH and I want to make sure this is a positive announcement for him. When DS first found out dad and step mom were preggers he imediately wanted me and DH to have a baby as well but as their pregnancy has progressed he is pretty mum on baby talk anymore.


StacieM 07-11-2011 03:49 PM

Just you ladies wink1.gif & DH. The one other person I usually tell early so badly wants to get pg after her 2nd 20+ week loss that I just can't tell her.

She's putting it off for financial reasons because her husband does NOT want her working next time she gets pg. I'm hoping she just gets pg soon so I can tell her.

Right now, I'm so excited but just want to keep it to ourselves - plus it's so early still for me.

Rainey Daye 07-11-2011 10:31 PM

So yeah, I broke the news to DH on Wednesday evening and we started letting family members know before the weekend. DH has told one of his friends that he works with...who no doubt has told his wife, and I told the wife of another one of DH's friends (we hang out as couples, but I'm not exactly besties with her) when we were in the bookstore where she works today. I've also told a neighbor friend of mine...but that's it. There will probably be a few other local friends and some extended family...but we are telling everyone not to say stuff about it online.

 

I'm kind of hoping to hold off on telling people till late September. Hoping to get an ultrasound at about 16 weeks and hoping to see if we will be welcoming Nikolas Parker or Penelope Sage home come mid-March (plus I'll be into the second trimester)...and THEN we will announce online to various forum friends and Facebook peeps who are scattered far and wide away from us!! :-D


biffer 07-12-2011 12:43 AM

Almost all of our friends/family know now but I'm still asking them to keep it off of Facebook and Google + because I hate getting that pity look and messages from people that I'm not very close with in case of MC. If this does end in MC I know I will be at peace with it and just try again. 


MrsSurplus 07-12-2011 11:13 AM

You know, it has varied in all of our pregnancies.  We kept Sadie (#6) a secret until I was about 19 weeks along - and that was miserable.  Dh works HARD during the summer and I always feel a bit out of touch with him then anyway...and I just felt like I was the only one who knew I was pregnant (and tired, and sick, and...)...but we didn't tell anyone for fear of negative comments.  Since then DH and I have come to feel that part of our mission in life is to tell the world that babies are a GOOD thing - they're a blessing from God.  So...we aren't hiding it this time.  We wanted our children and then grandparents to know first.  My sisters know (his aren't local so we haven't seen them yet - and he hasn't gotten around to calling them), and I don't care who else knows so 18yo son and 22yo daughter have told folks - I figure it's getting around.  I waffle on posting it on FB...after all, the people I'm close to know...and a lot of the others wouldn't care!


Harmony96 07-12-2011 12:30 PM

Yeah I think I'm going to skip Facebook this time.  I told one more person yesterday.  She was going to be part of the group that I tell this Friday, but she's going out of town tomorrow and won't be back until Tuesday, lol, so I told her.  She's excited for me.  :) 


mamathomas 07-13-2011 09:38 AM

We've told our parents and siblings, my doula (who is also my friend), and I've shared the news with a few mamas from the natural moms and kids play group I belong to.  Not to scare anyone, but my friend lost her baby at 40 weeks last summer (a very rare situation) so you just really never know.  For me, the people I have shared the news with so far are also the people I would lean on if something were to happen. 

 

I don't really have a set time when I will let everyone else know.  I'm sure it will just be a gradual thing as I come into contact with different people.  My nausea has kicked in full force so you can definitely tell something is up, and this tiny little buldge is only going to get bigger, so the word will be out before too long.  Not sure if I'm going to do a FB announcement or not.  If I do, it probably won't be until the holidays. 

 

 


Harmony96 07-13-2011 04:09 PM

Telling my co-teacher tonight.  :D 


cygknit 07-13-2011 08:42 PM

I haven't told anyone but MDC and my SO. It. Is. Killing. Me.


lilkat 07-13-2011 09:46 PM



Quote:
Originally Posted by mamathomas View Post

For me, the people I have shared the news with so far are also the people I would lean on if something were to happen. 

 

I don't really have a set time when I will let everyone else know.  I'm sure it will just be a gradual thing as I come into contact with different people.

 


Yup. I only got my BFP last night, but I've already told DH, my midwife (who is also a very close friend), two other close friends, my parents, and my Circle. All of these people would be the first to know if I had a MC, and I've asked them to keep it on the DL until we go public in a month or so. We're planning on telling DD this weekend, before we go visit the in laws and tell them. I pretty much always tell everyone everything, and I'd want all of these people to help me through a MC, so I figure why wait? I'm planning on getting DD a 'big sister' shirt and let her make our public announcement on Facebook, in about a month.

 


StacieM 07-15-2011 11:36 AM

I told my sister yesterday.  She's excited that we're pg together again.  Our babies are due about a month apart.


amycorinne 07-15-2011 12:47 PM

I've told two of my close friends that I trust to keep it quiet and my husband has told one friend. My first OB appointment is on 8/2 so I may tell a few people after that. I don't plan on telling the majority of people until 12-13 weeks at least. We'll see if that actually happens though.


cameragirl 07-15-2011 04:23 PM

My mom, sisters, and DD know now, as well as a couple close friends. More people will probably find out at DD's birthday party this next weekend, especially since I don't fit in normal clothes already.

JunebugsMom 07-15-2011 04:47 PM

I'm a very private person and if I have another loss I honestly wouldn't want to talk to anyone about it (besides DH). 


Harmony96 07-15-2011 05:46 PM

So on Friday mornings,  I go to a young ladies' Bible study.  All of us but one person are young mothers (she's waiting a bit until her DH graduates), w/ kids ranging in age from newborn to 4 years old.  I "told" them today, by having DS wear a shirt that said "big brother" on it.  But the shirt is dark green and the letters are black and nobody noticed, LOL.  So finally at the end, I had B in my lap and said, "I know his shirt is hard to read, but I was thinking that SOMEONE would notice it."  So then people start looking at his shirt for what it said, and it was SO funny to watch the expressions change on their faces as they read it, then understood what it meant, LOL.  

I also sent a msg to one of my Facebook friends and said that I taught B to say something new.  She asked what it was, and I said, "Big brother."  LOL.  (Which is true, he can kind of say it... maybe I'll post a video, lol.)

And, I ALSO texted a pic of one of my tests to another friend of mine and here's how part of our conversation went:

Me:  What do you make of this?

Her:  Lol did you just pee on that?

Me:  No I peed on it a few days ago lol.  

Me:  Actually I peed in a cip and dipped it.  

Her:  B/c I take of that, whoever peed on it, their eggo is preggo.

Me:  It is my preggo eggo.  And I didn't know waffles could be pregnant.  

Her:  Does anyone else know about your waffle?  Were you trying to get it prego?

Her:  Can I tell one person?  I'm so excited!!!!!!!


tantylynn 07-18-2011 04:41 PM

I only got my BFP last night (and another this morning at 13DPO) so only DH and I know. I already want to tell everyone but I'm a little afraid of the ripple effect. I know others can't keep my secret, especially my family LOL. We want to tell DH's family in a fun way since this is the first grandchild...any ideas?? We'll have to tell them soon as they know about our TTC efforts and know that I should be finding out the results of our first Clomid cycle any day now...



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