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#61 of 124 Old 07-25-2011, 09:52 PM
 
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I am going to join you guys. I feel a out of place everywhere. I lost my first baby at 9 weeks and have since had two healthy babies. With my Son, I had lots of scaries at the beginning and my daughter's pregnancy was pretty uneventful. I guess, I feel that since I have only had one loss and healthy babies afterwards that I don't fit in here. But I am scared and  no one understands except those who have lost a baby. I want to feel fine telling everyone and being excited about this pregnancy. If/When something goes wrong, I don't want to deal with it with everyone just those close to me.  Anyway, thanks in advance for the support.

Any way, I went to the Dr this morning just for a quick check up and they did a pregnancy test. I almost losted it on the way home thinking about how the line on the pregnancy test was not dark enough. Why do I have to be so crazy? I get betas done tomorrow so we will see.


Of course you fit in! Loss is loss, no matter if you had children after. It still hurts the same. Good luck with your betas! Hopefully the results will bring you some peace. Here's to a sticky little bean! dust.gif

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#62 of 124 Old 07-26-2011, 02:15 AM
 
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Milk8Shake: glad you got you see your LO

 

Chelsea: (((((HUGS)))) to you

 

I just realized that I still haven't made my first appt yet and I'm almost scared to.  I don't want to get bad news. I feel pg, but there's never any guarantee.  I really didn't feel like telling anyone, but I've been tired, and feeling queasy, and dizzy, and sometimes have stupid insomnia which has never happened before.  I actually think my oldest will figure it out soon. 

 

Before I tell anyone else, I need to tell my SIL, she always was one of the first I told with my others.  I've been keeping it from her because SHE so badly wants to get pg.  She had a loss at 22weeks in December.  That was her second loss.  Her first was her first pg at 23 weeks.  She does have one very cute baby girl between those losses, but I just know how upset she was when she found out her 18yo sis was pg.  I don't want to upset her.  On the other hand, I know she will find out eventually and I really don't want her hearing from someone else because then she will know I kept it from her, but told others which wouldn't be good either.

 

Anyway - after reading through this thread I started thinking about my last pg with my son.  It was the ONLY pg I carried to term that I ever had bleeding in.  It was just a little at about 7 weeks.  It never crossed my mind before, but now I'm wondering if it could have been a twin loss.  I'll never know.  All they told me was that they saw a black circle in the u/s that they may need to keep an eye on and after that no one mentioned it.  I was never told why I may have been bleeding.  It was probably just one of those things and not a loss, but reading through this thread got me thinking. 

 

One of these days I have to actually make my 1st appt and see a provider.


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#63 of 124 Old 07-26-2011, 04:53 AM
 
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Milk8shake, thanks for your thoughts.  I don't know how good a twin pregnancy would be for me, physically, or for the twins -- I tend to grow babies who are small already.  But it has definitely been on my mind.  I had a dream last night that I was feeling my tummy, to see if I could feel anything, and I felt two heartbeats.  Then the babies suddenly grew, and I was feeling two little feet on opposite sides, and then suddenly they were born and in my arms.  They both had straight, black hair like my daughter did when she was born.  I was hesitant to check and see if they were boys or girls, because I wasn't sure that I wanted to know (while still actually pregnant), but I looked and they were boys. 

 

I'm not putting too much stock in it, since I've had dreams that I was pg when I wasn't, or that I was having a boy (or girl) when I was pg with a girl (or boy), or that I was pg with puppies or llamas, and I obviously wasn't.  But twins are definitely on my mind.

 

chels_c2000, I hope you get your betas back quickly so you can have some peace of mind.

 

Stacie, that is a tricky situation.  Of course it's difficult for your SIL, but I think you're right, it would be better for her to hear it from you.


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#64 of 124 Old 07-26-2011, 07:43 AM
 
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I am still here... The cramping is less than yesterday and no new spotting so far today. I don't know what to think, yesterday I was sure it was the end.


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#65 of 124 Old 07-26-2011, 08:54 AM
 
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really really nervous about getting bad news at my first appt. today.  I've been up since 4am worrying.

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#66 of 124 Old 07-26-2011, 09:21 AM
 
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I've been quite busy & lurking lately, but I wanted to drop in & say I'm thinking big positive thoughts for all of you ladies right now.

mama to ds 6, dd 4, & ds who arrived March 2012

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#67 of 124 Old 07-26-2011, 09:35 AM
 
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Thinking of you, Sagewinna and junebugsMom!!! My appointment is Friday and I am already nervous, even though I am not even sure if she will do an us or just give me a referral. One way or the other it is nervewracking!

Sagewinna, will you have an us soon?

 


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#68 of 124 Old 07-26-2011, 08:11 PM
 
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I have my first real prenatal on Thursday, and FINALLY got an appointment with a perinatologist for 8/16. I'm so nauseated and tired, so I don't know why I worry, but I'm afraid an ultrasound might show bad news at the appointment.

Wife to DH, mama to bikenew.gif DD (7) ribboncesarean.gif, babyf.gif DS born 3/12 ribboncesarean.gif, and have had five early losses. angel1.gif
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#69 of 124 Old 07-26-2011, 09:37 PM
 
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I have an appointment on August 5th, I'll be 8w1d. The 2 I lost passed around 6 1/2 weeks, so if there is a heartbeat I will probably be in total and complete shock or get hysterical or something.


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#70 of 124 Old 07-27-2011, 05:36 AM
 
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I'm out. Bleeding. Pregnancy test is barely darker than a week ago. I"m not coming back to this DDC. As always, I hope the rest of you get to stay. <3


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#71 of 124 Old 07-27-2011, 08:15 AM
 
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So sorry, Krista grouphug.gif


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#72 of 124 Old 07-27-2011, 09:45 AM
 
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Sorry Krista

 

I got some bad new with my blood work today. My progesterone levels are 14. My HCG was 351 at 18DPO no aweful but not great. He is starting me on supplements but we will see. I am not feeling very hopeful.


Chelsey Married to my Wonderful Husband Devin: Mama to James 9.7.08wild.gif , Joy 5.19.10 energy.gifTitus 3.37.12 biggrinbounce.gif10/07angel.gif  Macy dog2.gif : Expecting #4 belly.gif in August
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#73 of 124 Old 07-27-2011, 02:12 PM
 
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Oh, Chelsey, I hope things look up.


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#74 of 124 Old 07-27-2011, 05:18 PM
 
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Originally Posted by chels_c2000 View Post

Sorry Krista

 

I got some bad new with my blood work today. My progesterone levels are 14. My HCG was 351 at 18DPO no aweful but not great. He is starting me on supplements but we will see. I am not feeling very hopeful.


I'm so sorry that you're going through this. It isn't fun to sit there and wonder if things will be okay or not. Sending you some sticky dust! dust.gif

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#75 of 124 Old 07-27-2011, 05:43 PM
 
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I'm out. Bleeding. Pregnancy test is barely darker than a week ago. I"m not coming back to this DDC. As always, I hope the rest of you get to stay. <3



Krista! I didn't even noticed you joined and now you're leaving?! I'm so sad. :( This isn't fair. Big hugs. :(

 


Mom to angel baby, grew wings at 5 weeks in May '07, William, born Dec '08, and another angel who grew wings at 8w4d (lost at 11w) in Oct '10. Rachel born Feb 2012, Another angel Lost Sept '13. New bean due Nov '14!
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#76 of 124 Old 07-27-2011, 05:48 PM
 
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Originally Posted by chels_c2000 View Post

Sorry Krista

 

I got some bad new with my blood work today. My progesterone levels are 14. My HCG was 351 at 18DPO no aweful but not great. He is starting me on supplements but we will see. I am not feeling very hopeful.



K wait. Call me crazy but I think these numbers are fine. Did I miss some previous numbers or something? Progesterone over 10 can support a pregnancy, and 350 at 18dpo seems pretty average to me.... My betas with this one were a lot lower than past times and the bean seems to be fine. If I extrapolate they would have been around the same as yours.

 


Mom to angel baby, grew wings at 5 weeks in May '07, William, born Dec '08, and another angel who grew wings at 8w4d (lost at 11w) in Oct '10. Rachel born Feb 2012, Another angel Lost Sept '13. New bean due Nov '14!
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#77 of 124 Old 07-27-2011, 08:30 PM
 
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well whaddyaknow.  had my first appt and everything looks great!  the CNM did a quick u/s and said "there's the hearbeat, see it?  there's the brain, measuring 8wk 2d" (spot on)...then she just went on to the next subject, chattering away.  I sat there continuing to stare at the blank u/s screen and then 5 minutes later I'm like "so..the baby's ok??".  "Oh yes, the baby's perfect"....blah blah blah.  I was really in shock!  I guess I was really expecting bad news or to find twins or something.  Now I am trying to process the fact that this may actually happen...,.

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#78 of 124 Old 07-27-2011, 08:45 PM
 
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Yay! Great news, JunebugsMom!


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#79 of 124 Old 07-27-2011, 09:07 PM
 
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Congrats june bug!!


Mom to angel baby, grew wings at 5 weeks in May '07, William, born Dec '08, and another angel who grew wings at 8w4d (lost at 11w) in Oct '10. Rachel born Feb 2012, Another angel Lost Sept '13. New bean due Nov '14!
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#80 of 124 Old 07-28-2011, 05:36 AM
 
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Krista, I'm so sorry for your loss.


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#81 of 124 Old 07-28-2011, 07:35 AM
 
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K wait. Call me crazy but I think these numbers are fine. Did I miss some previous numbers or something? Progesterone over 10 can support a pregnancy, and 350 at 18dpo seems pretty average to me.... My betas with this one were a lot lower than past times and the bean seems to be fine. If I extrapolate they would have been around the same as yours.

 



No there were not previous numbers. I am mostly worried about the 14. I have never had a number that low. Thanks for the encouragement about the beta. My doctor is not wanting to do another round of betas but I am thinking about asking for them just to calm some anxiety (or increase it). I don't know what do you think? Are betas more helpful or stressful?

 


Chelsey Married to my Wonderful Husband Devin: Mama to James 9.7.08wild.gif , Joy 5.19.10 energy.gifTitus 3.37.12 biggrinbounce.gif10/07angel.gif  Macy dog2.gif : Expecting #4 belly.gif in August
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#82 of 124 Old 07-28-2011, 11:04 AM
 
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UGH I just lost my post.

Personally this pregnancy I'm taking a step back and I'd rather not know numbers and what not. But some people NEED to know them. The only problem is, even good numbers arent' a guarantee of anything. So I'd rather just take it by how I'm feeling. I feel ok so I'm probably not going to miscarry today,kwim? You have to decide for yourslef I guess.


Mom to angel baby, grew wings at 5 weeks in May '07, William, born Dec '08, and another angel who grew wings at 8w4d (lost at 11w) in Oct '10. Rachel born Feb 2012, Another angel Lost Sept '13. New bean due Nov '14!
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#83 of 124 Old 07-28-2011, 05:10 PM
 
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I sure have thought about going for some numbers to ease my mind. I can go w/o a doc and pay $30. Pretty cool. Just don't want bad news. But at the same time each day is a wonder too. Then each day gets better as they pass. Oh my the ride of emotions!
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#84 of 124 Old 07-28-2011, 05:19 PM
 
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and i just started bleeding, whatever that means...


me, wife and mama to ds ('06) and dd ('07), my miracle dd ('12) and surprise ds (5/14) and to plenty pets!

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#85 of 124 Old 07-28-2011, 05:58 PM
 
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Oh, Chiara, I hope everything ends up ok.


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#86 of 124 Old 07-29-2011, 01:06 PM
 
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Well, I had panic stations over the weekend, with some here and there spotting.  Had a scan yesterday.  Bubs is doing okay.  Dates are bang on, 6w4d, and heartbeat was 117.  Pretty happy with that info.   They found two bleeding pockets, both are quite small, 1-2mm.  It's not great news, but it's better than I thought, because I have had bleeds with every pregnancy, but each time they have been significantly larger than bubs, who is a whopping 7.7mm at this point!

 

I am trialling a bit of a different medication protocol this time round, vaso dialators, and aspirin to thin the blood. 

There isn't really any scientific basis to it, because there is precious little research on my condition, but the small amount that there is, suggests issues with blood flow to the uterus, and I have to wonder if there is a correlation between the sub chorionic haematomas, and the blood flow issue.  Even my doc isn't completely convinced, I think she is humouring me. 
 

Anyway, I just have to hang out another week until my big scan @ the hospital, and my appt with the maternal fetal medicine specialist. 


DDCC to say Milk8shake, stick to your guns! My RE does baby aspirin as a standard protocol for exactly that reason. sure there's no research to base it on, but it makes sense and it can only help. Hang in there! I'm so so hoping for your bubs! goodvibes.gif

ps - Kalamos had the same thing and she would be a great resource if you want to PM her. hug2.gif

Our little miracles are here!!joy.gif
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#87 of 124 Old 07-29-2011, 03:01 PM
 
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Thank you, Sagewinna. The bleeding stopped, just brown spotting today. i went in and had a u/s that was scheduled for today anyways. There is a healthy gestational sac sometjing in it, but no heartbeat yet. My ob had a hard time getting to see anything, so I am not too confident in her early us abilities or her machine;) , but at least it was not an empty sac. There was an additional sac that was empty and she thinks that it might cause the bleeding. Short...it is a mystery!

Well I have another us scheduled for next Friday, I will be 7 weeks then and she is confident we will see a heartbeat then. If not, we will do blood draws.  Let's call me very cautiously optimistic here and let the waiting game continue.


me, wife and mama to ds ('06) and dd ('07), my miracle dd ('12) and surprise ds (5/14) and to plenty pets!

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#88 of 124 Old 07-29-2011, 05:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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DDCC to say Milk8shake, stick to your guns! My RE does baby aspirin as a standard protocol for exactly that reason. sure there's no research to base it on, but it makes sense and it can only help. Hang in there! I'm so so hoping for your bubs! goodvibes.gif

ps - Kalamos had the same thing and she would be a great resource if you want to PM her. hug2.gif

Thanks Tear love.gif

I know a lot of OBs do aspirin, heparin, etc.  I'm taking the aspirin, but also a vaso dilator medication (Prazosin) which I think is primarily used for blood pressure.  It actually widens the vessels so more blood is allowed through.  All off my clotting tests, etc, where totally normal.  I'm working on the possibility that because so much of my girly anatomy is distorted, then maybe my blood vessels are too.

I have no plans on backing down, and I'm hanging out with this doc specifically because she has been pretty good at indulging all my theories, and it quite cool with the "can't hurt, might help" idea.
 

 


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Forever missing our little ones lost

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#89 of 124 Old 07-29-2011, 07:44 PM
 
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Thanks Tear love.gif

I know a lot of OBs do aspirin, heparin, etc.  I'm taking the aspirin, but also a vaso dilator medication (Prazosin) which I think is primarily used for blood pressure.  It actually widens the vessels so more blood is allowed through.  All off my clotting tests, etc, where totally normal.  I'm working on the possibility that because so much of my girly anatomy is distorted, then maybe my blood vessels are too.

I have no plans on backing down, and I'm hanging out with this doc specifically because she has been pretty good at indulging all my theories, and it quite cool with the "can't hurt, might help" idea.
 

 


DDC crashing to just say...

joy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gif OH MY GOODNESS joy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gif Milk8shake!!!!! I'm so thrilled for you that you are pregnant again and feeling so positive about this little bub!! joy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gif

I'm never on MDC these days, with other real-time life stuff keeping me pretty much off the internet, but WHAT A THRILL to see such wonderful news!!

I have to inform you that I will now, officially, have to stalk you. innocent.gif Hope you don't mind!!

I could NOT be more thrilled for you and I just hope and pray that THIS baby is your take home, wiggly, snuggly, warm and amazing baby for keeps.

xoxoxoxo

Claire

P.S. So excited for everyone on this thread. I know from experience how hard Pregnancy after Loss is. Believe me. I hope that all of you end up with your sweet rainbow babies in your arms in March of next year. joy.gif


Claire , married to my hero, Nick . Our two rainbows babies are here!!! Welcome Noah Peter and Ryan Matthew, born at 25 weeks 6 days on 01/14/09 by emergency C-section!! We are in love!!!
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#90 of 124 Old 07-31-2011, 06:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My scan today did not go well, and I'm having a curette tomorrow.

Best of luck to you all.


          Me & him partners.gif and our beautiful fur boys Dukedog2.gif and Chopz dog2.gif

Forever missing our little ones lost

angel1.gif angel1.gif angel3.gif angel3.gif angel3.gif angel2.gif angel1.gif

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