who will care for your kid during labour if you have no nearby family? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 09-21-2011, 11:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Has anyone else started worrying about what they're going to do with their kids during labour? I mean, I know there are people who live near family who can care for their older children but what are other people doing?

 

I have a best friend whose little boy is DD's age who would be happy to care for my kid during labour except she will have her own new little baby (due in Oct.) in a two bedroom apartment so more than a few hours is probably out of her ability. My parents are eight hours away so the best we could hope for is that they could get here fairly soon after I give birth but my mom is receiving chemo treatments and might very well be stuck in the hospital when we needed her. I have a few single friends who could totally come stay here at my house with DD for a couple days but DD isn't close enough to them right now and they have very little kid experience.

 

What are other people doing? Should I just be finding the best help I can for as short a time as possible and then send my wife home from the hospital immediately?


Beth, wife to Cass and SAHM to the little french goose, 6/17/09...and now also mom to a second wee girlie 2/6/12. Nursing with low supply, domperidone and a lact-aid.

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#2 of 10 Old 09-21-2011, 05:28 PM
 
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Do you know your neighbors very well? I'd consider one of my neighbors if I didn't have family near by. Many areas have 24-hour day care, as well. They may or may not be willing to take another child at the last minute, but it is worth asking.

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#3 of 10 Old 09-21-2011, 05:43 PM
 
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I would definitely talk with neighbors, coworkers, friends without kids too. Most people will be happy to help out in a time of need.


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#4 of 10 Old 09-21-2011, 09:33 PM
 
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I agree about talking to neighbors.  There is also plenty of time to have your single friends spend some time with DD to get more comfortable, I find my single friends are usually so much fun and so energetic when it comes to my kids because they get to relive their childhood memories in little spurts.  I am having my mom come for the time around my due date, but if I go earlier I will be in the same boat since my DH is gone during the week for work.  It is amazing what happens when you ask though.  I have a friend who is going through chemo and one little email to the parents of her daughters classmates turned into meals every night for 4 months.  Most people want to help, you just have to ask.  Good Luck mama!

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#5 of 10 Old 09-22-2011, 01:05 PM
 
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I agree that people often are happy to help!  It's not like they'd be changing their whole life up, just helping out for a day.  I'd ask around to coworkers, mommy group attenders, neighbors, anyone else you have in your circle even if you don't know them well.  I'd especially talk to people you know with well-behaved, polite kids since they probably have loving home and would be welcoming to your daughter even if you don't know them well.  Single friends are a good choice too, as they are flexible and can come to you more easily and you know them better. If you pick one, you can plan some time for them to get to know your child ahead of time.


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#6 of 10 Old 09-22-2011, 02:32 PM
 
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Would your BFF be able to bring her kids and stay at your house for a while? Then after the baby is born and you've settled in your wife can go get your DD. If your DD isn't used to being away from you both, it might be easier on her (especially considering her whole world is about to change)  if your wife is the one taking care of her. I know it's a tough spot, b/c I'm sure she will want to be with you and the new baby. I have a son who is the same age as your DD, and he would be devastated if he had to be without both of his parents. Hopefully your parents will be able to make it there to help out.


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#7 of 10 Old 09-22-2011, 07:12 PM
 
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My girl will be 20 months. I am, first off, willing an overnight delivery!! If I can't get that, I plan on having a friend care for her. My first labor was pretty quick, so hopefully this one will be as well. We are having a home birth so we will not need care for an extended time.
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#8 of 10 Old 09-22-2011, 10:08 PM
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I'm planning a homebirth, so it's less of an issue, but I have several friends with kids that DD loves that I'll be able to call on if needed. My mom will be flying into town ASAP. Last time, my labor was long enough that she made it here before things got really intense. A hospital birth (or needing to go to the hospital) makes it more difficult, but make a list of people who your child would trust. Before I had DD, I stayed the night at a friend's house and coslept with her youngest while she another baby. She had a whole list of people and availability filled out before she went into labor so that she could just call us when needed.

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#9 of 10 Old 09-23-2011, 10:55 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Have people actually had success with a childless person taking care of their kid? I am worried about things like helping DD use the potty and understanding her teeny little voice...

 

You know what? I think I will just send my wife home as soon as I can, get one of the childless people to fill in and pray for a vaginal delivery so I am not gone too long. I think asking DD to make do without all her grownups for more than a day is just going to be too much for her.


Beth, wife to Cass and SAHM to the little french goose, 6/17/09...and now also mom to a second wee girlie 2/6/12. Nursing with low supply, domperidone and a lact-aid.

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#10 of 10 Old 09-23-2011, 01:32 PM
 
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Yeah, we have had good luck with childless friends watching DD. You have to consider their personality. My dad means well, but often childless friends are more nurturing than he is when he watches DD.

Wife to DH, mama to bikenew.gif DD (7) ribboncesarean.gif, babyf.gif DS born 3/12 ribboncesarean.gif, and have had five early losses. angel1.gif
I have Stiff Person Syndrome and my other car is a candy apple red Rascal. Feel free to ask me about it. wheelchair.gif
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