I just need a break!!! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 09-30-2011, 08:14 AM - Thread Starter
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Okay, I know I am being terrible and I don't know why acknowledging it makes me not feel so bad, but it does.  So my DH has been gone for 2 weeks for work.  Last weekend he was at a conference in the town he grew up in where his family lives.  So even though some of the time was spent working, most of it was socializing. That is fine.  It does put a lot more pressure on me when I am home with the 2 kiddos with no help for 2 weeks, but it was fine.  


So he comes home last night and he is sick - like sinus infection, pukey, cold sick.  I tried really hard not to be mad because I know he doesn't want to be sick, but I couldn't help it.  I mean, come on - can I not get a break?


He goes to the dr this morning for a regular appt and she wants him to go to the hospital because it could be his gall bladder.I really hope that it is not his gall bladder because I don't want him to be sick or have surgery and it would be terrible for him to go through this, but now I am going to be a big baby and cry about how it is affecting me - please bear with me and don't judge.


First of all, this dr is always ordering tests that costs us a ton of money (our insurance is terrible). Second, I was supposed to get together with some friends that I haven't seen in a year today, so I had to cancel that.  I was supposed to get together with some friends for coffee tonight (without kids), but I may have to cancel that.  I just need a break. I guess that is all I am saying. I know there is nothing that he can do about it and I know that he does not want this to happen, but I just need a break.  I am not talking about a weekend away or anything like that - I am talking about a couple days where I am not the go-to person for everyone.  I just want to float around for a couple days and not make any decisions.  


The other thing that is so frustrating is that we have a lot to do this weekend to get the house ready before the cold and snow hits us. The weekends coming up are crazy busy and there will be no time to do what we need to do this weekend (my DH travels during the week and is only home on weekends). 


Thanks for listening.  I know that my problems are tiny compared to other people and I know that I am being terrible, but it does feel good to get it off my chest so I can be the caring, supportive wife that I know my DH needs.

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#2 of 6 Old 09-30-2011, 08:20 AM
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I'm sorry you're feeling so stressed. You're not being terrible. It's perfectly natural to be frustrated by all that, even though it isn't his fault. Maybe you can get a sitter so you don't have to cancel your plans?

Mommy to  N baby.gif, born 2/20/12.

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#3 of 6 Old 09-30-2011, 10:04 AM
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I hear you!!!! My husband also travels a lot and has a chronic illness. It is hard, very hard and I sometimes get angry at him, even though it is not his fault and he works so hard to provide for us. You are not terrible!

But I have learned to adjust my expectations and that has helped. If I don't expect a break, oh well if none comes, that is what it is. I don't know how old your children are, but my kids now know if I say, mama needs a break for half an hour and read, they usually grant that, if I have given them all they need (attention, food, cuddles, etc) beforehand. But it has been a hard road and it is still often rocky.

Hugs and I hope your husband will be better soon and you can get your well deserved coffee  break! 

me, wife and mama to ds ('06) and dd ('07), my miracle dd ('12) and surprise ds (5/14) and to plenty pets!

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#4 of 6 Old 09-30-2011, 03:49 PM
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I have no patience for my DH when he gets sick, which he does all the time b/c he doesn't take care of himself and is very stressed out.  I also feel bad about it, but it makes me sooo mad.  When he is sick, he gets to just take care of himself, whereas I have our two kids as well. 


Do you have any friends that could take your children?  We use a lot of friend childcare, which is wonderful for getting those much needed mama breaks!



Nicole, mama to a seven year old wonder and a three year old joy and caretaker to 3 kitties and 9 hens. 

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#5 of 6 Old 09-30-2011, 05:37 PM
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I COMPLETELY understand. I get so pissy when my DH gets sick becuase when i get sick it doesn't matter. I can't lay on the couch for a couple days like he can. And it annoys me. Unjustified or not, it annoys me.

Just keep venting about it. It usually makes me feel better when I vent.
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#6 of 6 Old 10-08-2011, 06:47 PM
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Hi there! Hopping over from april ddc, and boy do i sympathize!  My DH works full time and is a full time law student...ambitious, yes, but not exactly conducive to family life...I have no patience for illness, b/c as many of you have said, we don't get sick days, so why should they????? It's terrible, i know, b/c they don't want to be sick, but it's SOOOO frustrating when once again you're left holding the bag...


sorry to unload, more of a joint rant than words of consolation, but boy that one gets to me...lol :)


ok, back to being nice, for the most part...

Married to overworked  DH reading.gif since 2003, happily familybed1.gif mama to DD (01/09) and  babyboy.gif DS (4/12)

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