Waiting for a heartbeat <3 - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 4 Old 08-13-2011, 06:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I honestly don't really know how "far along" I am or when I really O'd. I thought I O'd on Weds the 27th but we DTD on the 24th and 29th (we weren't trying but not preventing). I know for sure I had implantation bleeding on the 7th and on the 9th I had a BFP and got my HCG levels checked which were 67. On Thursday the 11th I had them test again exactly 48 hours later and it was 199 which trippled yay!!! I go back on Monday and get tested again. I work in OB/GYN so they're pretty cool with me running down to the lab and getting drawn as many times as I want to feel better. I've had two miscarriages back to back in 2007. First one I didn't expect a thing to be wrong and went in for my first ultrasound at 10 weeks and found no heartbeat. Baby had died at 8wks 4 days. I got preggo again after one cycle and lost that one at five or so weeks. So now here I am, pregnant again and a nervous wreck. This will be my boyfriends first child (I have a son with my ex husband, and my ex husband is who I had the two miscarriages with). My boyfriend is crazy excited and can't grasp that things can go wrong... he want's to tell every person he comes across that he's going to be a dad, where as I am way more cautious. I go in for first pre ob ultrasound 8/30/11 and time is going so slow. I should be around 6wks and 3days or more.  I really want this baby for us but I just have doubts... especially working where I work and seeing a miscarriage a day.

 

So I'm just wanting to know if there is anyone else around here who's experienced a loss and is in the same boat as me and wants to wait with me.


caffix.gif wife to DH kewl.gif and mama to Kaden notes2.gif 1/1/06 and Jagger babyboy.gif 4/21/12

belly.gifdue 9/4/13

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#2 of 4 Old 08-13-2011, 07:02 PM
 
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I had 3 or more early losses before my daughter. I stopped testing before 19DPO because it was just too heartbreaking. My latest loss was at 7 weeks, but that was an odd pregnancy. Anyways, so far this pregnancy is following the pattern of my daughter's, but with significantly less morning sickness. I'm nervous about that, but overall hopeful. And yes, we'll be renting a doppler so I can check the heartbeat obsessively. I'll order it at 10w and get it around 11w. I heard DD's heartbeat at 11w.

 

Holy crap I'm only 3 weeks away from ordering the doppler!


Ashley, Pagan treehugger.gif mama to E (6/09) and my beautiful hbac.gif baby T (4/3/12)
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#3 of 4 Old 08-13-2011, 08:37 PM
 
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I have 2 DD's and my last pregnancy, we lost our son Ollie at 17 weeks along.  By 17 weeks you feel confident that things are going well and you will be able to hold your baby...I learned that that precious life can be taken at anytime, that no matter how far along you are you feel a bond with your baby and that the consolation of family and friends is paramount to healing.  I've never been one to wait till the 12 week mark for it to feel safe to tell people.  I had my reasons and from the experience of my loss my reasons felt reinforced.  No one should grieve the loss of a family member in silence and those that love us, understand that.  Be it a 5 week loss or anytime.  Our babies are with us and the fact that we could possibly lose them, doesn't mean we should suffer alone because some people don't understand the bond that is formed with that life, our son or daughter.

 

I never felt the uncertainty of life, in regards to being pregnant and the possibility of losing the baby before.  I've always been an optimist in that area, thinking nothing bad would happen to my babies.  Losing Ollie definitely has shaken my faith. This time is very different for me and at times a bit scary.  Mostly I feel like everything will be okay and we will hold our baby but my fear creeps in at times and wonders, what if I lose my baby again...how will I make it through?  Then my faith steps in which is the only logical and healthy response for me.  I know my worrying, fear and doubt only does harm and no good.

 

Just like all the other times, we told family and friends right away...we can't hide such a huge joyous part of our life, even if we feel a bit of apprehension from our previous loss.  It helps to have all those people praying for your baby because they want to too and they couldn't do that if they didn't know.  I know I view this a bit opposite as many moms but this is what I've taken from my own experience.  Everyone needs to do what feels right, I just don't think it's beneficial to feel like your baby can only be recognized at a certain point in life and the possibility of having to grieve that loss alone :(  Sorry if I rambled a bit, it just feels so good to talk about it...I've been hoping someone might start a pregnancy after loss thread :)


Tanya treehugger.gif DH-Brian, DD Adri (8), DD Izzy (7), DS Ollie angel.gif (1/5/11 @ 17 weeks) and our rainbow1284.gif baby due April 12th, 2012.

Of all the lessons I did not learn as a child, or even as an adult; I learn through being, mother to my children. Through love and through pain, we are delivered and blessed!

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#4 of 4 Old 08-14-2011, 12:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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AiryFairy... thanks for your response. Your positive way of looking at a previous loss and a new pregnancy helps a lot. I guess I just feel weird telling people so early because when I do they ask how far I am and when I say "around 5 weeks" I get responses like "oh you're still early"... like I'm doomed because I've had two MC's before. But your way of looking at it makes me feel like there are others out there like you who will send out positive vibes and prayers which is what I'm hoping.

 

Good luck to you.. lots of sticky vibes for all of us April 2012 moms!

 

Sunflowermoonbeam.... Good luck to you as well! Can't wait to hear that you've heard your babies heartbeat. I'd probably get a doppler too, but since I have one at work I'll just use that. I'm hoping to get an US every other week too until I can hear the baby on the doppler.

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caffix.gif wife to DH kewl.gif and mama to Kaden notes2.gif 1/1/06 and Jagger babyboy.gif 4/21/12

belly.gifdue 9/4/13

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