Weekly chat Nov7-14 - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 56 Old 11-07-2011, 09:29 AM - Thread Starter
 
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So....moving has been incredibly exhausting but well worth it! Our new apartment is really what we need for all of us without being extravagant.  I mean really, it is nice to have doors that shut and floors that don't squeak!  DH has been awesome with doing a lot of the moving himself.  We rented a truck and hired some movers for the big stuff but borrowed a friend's car for the rest.  Really cut down on the cost but made for a lot more work.

 

And...in news that I am not sure how to feel about, my husband's employer is being annoying (the HR department, it is a big place so not an actual person per se) about getting approval for a homebirth.  The insurance company has no problem with it but the firm has a specific policy against it.  We requested an exception, they said they have never had someone request it so it was unlikely and that they didn't want to be held liable for anything.  Blah, really, they just didn't have good excuses and it sounded like they just didn't want to do the paperwork needed.  So, next step, we have to request for our case to be brought before a board of people who decide if I get a homebirth based on who knows what.  I am trying to be calm. We cannot pay the over $11,000 it would be out of pocket and my current midwife practice is not responding about the possibility of a payment plan option.  I don't want to lose my homebirth.  I am signed up for an orientation at the birth center just in case and they said they would have a spot for me.  I just get stressed trying to figure out when I would get in the car if labor is anything like DS's was.  Basically, I just want to be able to have my homebirth with my awesome midwives.  Ok, novel over!

 

Hope everyone is doing well, baby went through a growth spurt and I am starting to realize I am definitely going to be bigger than with DS, really low on the worry list right now though!


married to my love , in love with MJ born 1/18/10 and PJ born 4/6/12 waterbirth.jpg and now due with a surprise 11/14!
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#2 of 56 Old 11-07-2011, 10:05 AM
 
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Flavorfull1, that's too bad about the possibility of not having a home birth.  I really wanted one, but our insurance doesn't cover it at all and we can't afford to pay the only midwife in the area.  At least you have a Birthing Center possibility!  We don't have any near our town so the hospital it is.  I'm preparing what I need to have as natural a birth as possible. 

 

I know I'm not the most active on here...but so far things are going good now that I'm in 2nd trimester.  I finally have some more energy and my appetite has come back too.  Unfortunately I tend to get heartburn after almost every meal.  But I'm starting to show finally!!


Mother to a crazy wonderful son born 7-11-09 and A very determined amazing daughter born 5-3-12!
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#3 of 56 Old 11-07-2011, 10:40 AM
 
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flavorful1, that is really crappy about the HR department.  I wonder how they can just decide "no" unless there's a policy against it? Sucky.  Maybe it will work out though.  I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

 

blueone, glad you're feeling alright.  Are you going to be in a military hospital or a civilian one?  I'm using the military hospital because it is actually nicer and more baby-friendly than the local one. Not thrilled, but its what I've got.

 

Cheap Sunglasses, hooray for a boy!  That will make things easier, clothing-wise at least.

 

Zuzu, sounds like you're right about baby's position. You know that reflexive startle thing they do, where the head and feet butt out at the same time?  Sounds like that.

 

hazelbranch, that is seriously stressful.  I haven't taken DD to the dentist at all yet.  bag.gif  I was planning on taking her after her 3rd birthday. Mostly because I imagine I would have to lay in the chair and hold her down the entire time, and that it would be really stressful for all of us.  Maybe I should consider going sooner....  Have you had seals put on?  They seemed to help me a lot when I was a kid, and I still get them, even though my insurance only covers them for kids under 12.

 


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#4 of 56 Old 11-07-2011, 11:17 AM
 
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I have a question.  I am due April 25th and my little sister is getting married June 16th.  I would love to be in the wedding party but is that reasonable with a 7 week old?  I assume the ceremony is the only part where I would have to be completely separated from the the baby.  I would probably try and make a coordinating sling for after the ceremony.

 

Is it doable?  Oh, and we would have to fly to the wedding, but I am going regardless so that really isn't an issue.

 

 


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#5 of 56 Old 11-07-2011, 01:07 PM
 
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flavorful1, that is really crappy about the HR department.  I wonder how they can just decide "no" unless there's a policy against it? Sucky.  Maybe it will work out though.  I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

 

blueone, glad you're feeling alright.  Are you going to be in a military hospital or a civilian one?  I'm using the military hospital because it is actually nicer and more baby-friendly than the local one. Not thrilled, but its what I've got.

 

Cheap Sunglasses, hooray for a boy!  That will make things easier, clothing-wise at least.

 

Zuzu,

 

We'll be using the one in town.  We don't have a military hospital on base, just a clinic.  I also live off base so it would be faster travel.  We have a really good OB and the hospital actually has a whirlpool I can labor in!  I've heard good and bad things about the hospital, really bad things about the ER.  But since we will be dealing with the OB whom I really like I'm feeling mostly competent.  We might move before then, but who knows.  I'm currently planning that we will still be here. 
 

 


Mother to a crazy wonderful son born 7-11-09 and A very determined amazing daughter born 5-3-12!
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#6 of 56 Old 11-07-2011, 01:52 PM
 
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Nicmom, I think its doable assuming all goes well. I hate to say that.  DD was in the NICU for 3 weeks despite being born full term, so when we brought her home it was really like she had just been born. It was a huge shock. Flying to a wedding 4 weeks (or less) after that would have been seriously hard, but I would have done it.  Assuming its a domestic flight?  I would plan on going and being in the ceremony, and either buy refundable tickets or insurance that would cover baby-related contingencies, if such a thing exists.  'Cause you really never know.

 

As for being in the ceremony, I wouldn't think it would be that big of a deal to pass baby off to a family member while you're standing up in front of everyone.  If its a longer ceremony with a mass, you'll be sitting for a period and they can pass baby back to you.  Again assuming your sis is your same religion if any, so you'll know the routine.  And your sis will have to be patient if you need to nurse before pictures or whatever, but overall, if all goes as planned, I think its very doable. 

 

 

Blueone, that's the same situation we had when I was pg with DD.  Only a clinic, so I got a civilian midwife/OB group and a decent hospital.  The birth center had closed about 3 years earlier and the 2 midwives in town didn't do homebirths because they both worked with an OB.  This time--meh.  It is what it is.  The only birth center within an hour's drive doesn't take VBACs, so military hospital it is.


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#7 of 56 Old 11-07-2011, 01:53 PM
 
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nicmom - My cousin stood up in her sisters wedding with a 4 week old and she looked like she handled it well. We both had newborns and I remember nursing together. I do believe that her family left early too.


Married to DH 7 years and have three fantastic kiddos! DS 6, DD 4, and DS 2 ...... lo and behold another is on the way!

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#8 of 56 Old 11-07-2011, 03:26 PM
 
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flavorful, glad you are all moved in to a nice well built apartment. and holy wow, $11,000!!! That's so expensive!! and I thought $4,000 was a lot. Hope you can get them on your side.

 

nicmom, wedding totally doable as long as it isn't a super long wedding.  I would talk to your sister and  out what the reality is and see if she's okay with breaks for nursing, etc.

 

I feel like I must have missed some stuff from the old thread.

 

so my mom and sisters say I'm so big they think I am having twins. I totally am not that big. then my sister poked my belly and said "Oh, well it's squishy, that's not all baby." Thanks,  never been pregnant in your life sister. No it is not all baby, I mean if I had a layer of chub BEFORE I got pregnant it doesn't magically disappear when a baby is growing inside.

 

 

 

 


Courtney and Cree, baby made 3, added one more then there were 4, sakes alive, then we had 5, another in the mix now we have 6!

A Momma in love with her Little Women-Jewel Face, Jo Jo Bean, June Bug, and Sweet Coraline.

 

 

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#9 of 56 Old 11-07-2011, 06:02 PM
 
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Thank Heaven for small miracles!!!!  None of my children took naps today so I'm happy to report that it's a few minutes shy of 8 and my last child is drifting off to sleep.

 

Today was a very long day and now my health is suffering again. This morning my bedroom was a hideous nightmare. Tonight it's a lovely sight to behold. The only thing that I have left to do is to iron the curtains. Those can wait until tomorrow. Really though my room was so messy it was embarassing. I felt bad for DH since he had to sleep there too. He was a happy guy when he saw the suprise. Now I just have to rest and drink lots of liquids. A dry chest cough and a weak bladder do not go hand in hand.  Grr...

 

On another note, we shared our happy news with the kiddos tonight. They are sworn to secrecy until Thanksgiving. I think that it will be hard for them not to tell their teachers but I'm hopeful. We decided to tell them by opening up the box that our new baby seat came in. Before we did that we had to explain the importance of keeping a secret. When we revealed the baby seat

DS (6) was so mad that it wasn't a toy for him that he stomped off in disgust. DD (4) was VERY happy and then she asked me if it was a real or pretend baby in my belly. We had a good laugh. Of course DS (2) only cared about the colorful seat in the box. DS 6 finally became happy and excited when I said that he could help me put the seat together. Phew! It went over well I think. DD is already asking aobut seeing pictures of the baby, she wants a girl. DS wants a boy and he is already suggesting names.... strange names. Pretty soon everyone will know and I can let my growing belly hang out. So to speak!

 

Alrighty, I'm off to brew some tea and make some elderberry syrup.

 

Now all three kiddos are sleeping!  Loving it!


Married to DH 7 years and have three fantastic kiddos! DS 6, DD 4, and DS 2 ...... lo and behold another is on the way!

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#10 of 56 Old 11-07-2011, 07:12 PM
 
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Flavorful: I'm glad that you got moved and love the new place! And I will be keeping my fingers crossed about the homebirth.

 

NicMom: I plan on being in a wedding (Matron of Honor) May 19th and my due date is April 17th. As long as all goes well, I figure why not. I will of course have my husband and mother there the whole time to help out. The wedding is also going to be very kid friendly, so I figure why not! And I am sure you really want to be in your sister's wedding! I say go for it.

 

ThursdayGirl: Exactly. I am not a small girl and when people started saying that I was already showing at 8 weeks, I about lost it. Now I am ok with people saying that but I am also 17 weeks along now.

 

adoremybabe: I'm glad that you are feeling better! 

 

Today DH, DSS and I went to visit the daycare that DSS will start next week. The visit went well. DSS didn't want to leave and loved playing with the kids. I'm not too sold on his teacher but the owner said that she wanted to move him up to the next class before or right after Christmas.She thinks that DSS will get more from her class and that once he gets the hang of things, there should be a spot open. One thing that kinda bothered me is that the only two adults working there were the owners. The other employees could not be more than 21 tops. I just wonder how much patience some of them may have with the kids and how much experience they really have. Also, DSS is noticeably taller and "looks older" than his classmates. The class is young 3 year olds and older 2 year olds, basically the "potty training" class. He is 39 1/2 inches tall and 39 1/2 pounds as of last week.... I've seen other kids that were treated as if they were older and it was sometimes hard for them because mentally they were not that age. Either way daycare will be a whole new ball game!

 

 

Have you ladies seen this? The sequel to "The Business of Being Born," "More Business of Being Born" comes out this week! I am pretty excited! 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJTN88Zv0_M&feature=player_embedded


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#11 of 56 Old 11-08-2011, 05:17 AM
 
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I'm back in the dumps. I probably didn't rest enough yesterday and this morning I'm back to coughing so hard that I'm almost throwing up. I seriously do not want to go to the doctor for this.

 

I hope that everyone else with viruses in their families feels better soon! This is the pits.

 

 


Married to DH 7 years and have three fantastic kiddos! DS 6, DD 4, and DS 2 ...... lo and behold another is on the way!

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#12 of 56 Old 11-08-2011, 07:55 AM
 
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JustKate—sucks about the homebirth. Maybe they’ll surprise you and approve it. If not, at least a birth center is nicer than a hospital.

Nicmom—Go for it. As long as she understands that you might have to bow out at the last minute or be holding the baby during the ceremony if necessary. I had a good friend in my wedding whose daughter was about 11 weeks old and it was fine—plus it totally started some baby fever in my sister when she fell hard in love with the youngest member of my wedding party! (oh, we’d invited her grandmother, too, so grandma took the baby at the reception and my friends boogied till the end. Your mileage may vary…)

Adoremybabe—hahahaha! Your son stomping off is hilarious! I’m glad he came around once he figured out that he could help out. I hope you’re feeling better soon!

Cseky—glad you found a daycare you like, hopefully the next class will be a better fit. It’s rough when they look much older—I know a 2 ½ year old who looks like she’s 5, and strangers always wonders if something’s wrong with her because she acts like…a 2 ½ year old. Poor thing. She’s a great kid, but I hope her classmates catch up soon so she can get a break.

AFM—things are going well, except for my very first pregnancy yeast infection. Blech. I hope it’s my last. I guess that’s what I get for sneaking in a (not-too-hot) bubble bath. I’m also getting a lot of flack from coworkers for not wanting to find out the gender until the baby’s born. Why do people care so much? It’s not like it has any impact on them if I’m having a boy or a girl, so why make a big deal out of it? I’m going to have to come up with a better answer for after Thanksgiving—so far it’s been fairly easy because we haven’t had the u/s that could tell us so I can just say it’s too early, but what to do once it’s late enough?

She's here!
And so are the boys!
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#13 of 56 Old 11-08-2011, 08:10 AM
 
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Quote:
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Have you ladies seen this? The sequel to "The Business of Being Born," "More Business of Being Born" comes out this week! I am pretty excited! 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJTN88Zv0_M&feature=player_embedded



havent watched either one yet.  is it something that i'm going to be upset about after i watch it?  i'm trying to keep my life peaceful and calm right now.


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#14 of 56 Old 11-08-2011, 08:50 AM
 
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prettyisa - We never fiond out the sex of your baby til birth. I'd  have people ask and I usually tell them that we are having a human baby. It's corny but that's all I have. I think that I'll start a thread in "I'm Pregnant" to get some fun ideas.


Married to DH 7 years and have three fantastic kiddos! DS 6, DD 4, and DS 2 ...... lo and behold another is on the way!

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#15 of 56 Old 11-08-2011, 10:10 AM
 
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Thanks for the new thread!

 

We have a cold doing the rounds in our family right now and having a cold plus a baby with a cold plus a husband who acts like a baby when he doesn't feel good is not easy. Hope everyone else feeling unwell feels better soon!

 

As to finding out the baby's gender, we didn't find out what DS was and people were always bugging us to know. Whenever anyone asked we would simply say that there are too few things left in this world that are surprises and we wanted to keep this a surprise for everyone including ourselves. It would be like opening a present that way. Most people responded really well to that.


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#16 of 56 Old 11-08-2011, 10:19 AM
 
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I am so not good at keeping up with everyone, sorry!

 

adoremybabe - I'm sorry to hear you aren't feeling well.  We just got over a nasty cold/cough a couple of weeks ago.  I get so frustrated with all the things pregnant women CAN'T take to help with the sicknesses.  I really wish all those companies would at least tell me if they KNOW something isn't good for me while pregnant, or if they just DON'T know so don't recommend it.  At least that way I could make an informed decision if the symptoms were really horrendous.  I just chugged elderberry syrup that I made.

 

prettyisa - I don't get people like that either.  One of my sister-in-laws desperately wants to have boys... lots and lots of boys.  Whenever she holds a baby girl, or is around a baby girl she almost always says "I want one of those, in blue."  It always drives me crazy, and I keep telling her that I'm not sure who she'd have to sleep with to get a blue baby because they just don't come in that colour.  But I hate the whole gendered colour thing too.  I was so sad when someone at my former office told me that purple was a "girl" colour.  I had never felt sad for a colour before, but here was another one given a small box to fit in.

 

moss - I haven't seen the new one, but the original Business of Being Born was both uplifting and upsetting.  The realities of the "birth industry" in the US are pretty scary to me, and hearing about it all was upsetting but informative.  On the other hand, getting to see natural, midwife-attended, births was awesome and it really was the first time I got to see any.  I'd recommend it overall if you can handle the negatives of the industry.  Another interesting one, though I'm not sure how easily available it is, is called Orgasmic Birth.  It is in a similar vein as BoBB, but less of the scary and has its own "orgasmic" slant.

 

As for myself... feeling good and excited for the midwife appointment tomorrow.  Also DD's dental appointment went relatively well and we only had to hold her down for a moment to get a quick peek.  Fortunately no work needs to be done as she just managed to put a couple small chips in her teeth with one of my small metal knitting needles (?!).  So at least the ugh was short.

 

 

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#17 of 56 Old 11-08-2011, 10:33 AM
 
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that movie looks good, I so want to see it. The first one was fun to watch but I didn't find it educational as I knew about everything they talked about, it was however, educational for my twin sister and this second one looks like it might push my older sister more firmly into homebirth land.

 

prettyisa- garlic! I had yeast infection after yeast infection when pregnant with my last baby. Garlic always cleared it right up.

 

Hope you sick families feel better soon it'll make it's rounds here no doubt when we first get cold weather.


Courtney and Cree, baby made 3, added one more then there were 4, sakes alive, then we had 5, another in the mix now we have 6!

A Momma in love with her Little Women-Jewel Face, Jo Jo Bean, June Bug, and Sweet Coraline.

 

 

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#18 of 56 Old 11-08-2011, 12:42 PM
 
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Thursday girl—maybe that’s my problem—garlic is the only thing that still grosses me out, for some reason. I made soup with it a week ago and our fridge smells like garlic now and I gag every time I have to go in there. I’ll try to hold my nose and bear it, though!

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#19 of 56 Old 11-08-2011, 03:53 PM
 
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As to finding out the baby's gender, we didn't find out what DS was and people were always bugging us to know. Whenever anyone asked we would simply say that there are too few things left in this world that are surprises and we wanted to keep this a surprise for everyone including ourselves. It would be like opening a present that way. Most people responded really well to that.


I have been saying something similar, and with Christmas coming up, people seem to respond well to it:

 

"Just think of it like Christmas (or a birthday, if Christmas doesn't apply,) it is a lot of fun to open up a present, I'm not denying that, but part of the fun is wondering what the heck is in that box!  DH and I are just trying to hold on to that feeling for as long as possible and feel as though the final surprise will be even more worthwhile with all that anticipation!"

 


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#20 of 56 Old 11-08-2011, 03:59 PM
 
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oh, and prettyisa, I agree!  Garlic and most meats still gross me right out, I just can't do it!


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#21 of 56 Old 11-08-2011, 04:17 PM
 
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Prettyisa, maybe garlic tablets??? I've taken them before and they don't smell so it might go over better for you. Personally, I'm loving garlic and meat (two of the few things that I really want every day)...totally different from the beginning of the pregnancy.


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#22 of 56 Old 11-08-2011, 05:06 PM
 
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I love garlic at the moment. I also can't get enough of scrambled eggs and broccoli (gasp!). Since I have been pregnant the only form of pork that I will eat is bacon and absolutely no red meat... The smell just makes me nauseous. Anyone being bothered by smells yet? I have always had an awesome sense of smell but lately it is going crazy. I walked past a girl at the university today and I actually gagged. It seemed like she'd bathed in a vat of Bath and Body Work's products. bigeyes.gif


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#23 of 56 Old 11-08-2011, 05:15 PM
 
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Mmm, garlic and meat.  Loving both right now. Also yogurt, cheese, and hummus with anything salty.

 


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#24 of 56 Old 11-08-2011, 07:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am not digging the garlic this time around either.  Apples and cheese however are a different story!

 

I do agree though, hitting the garlic hardcore when sick, especially with something that involves the mucus membranes, is very beneficial.  It is a natural antimicrobial.  I did some research on it briefly in grad school and it totally holds up.  When I was sick when pg with DS I crushed up three or four cloves of garlic and toasted it with butter on bread to have with soup. Intense but I did it three days and was definitely better.  Also, no yeast the whole time.  Probiotics are also good on the prevention side.  Sorry to everyone that is sick though, it doesn't seem right to make a woman with a baby sitting on her bladder and pushing on her abs have to cough.  One thing I missed while pg with DS was being able to get a really good cough in when needed lol.


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#25 of 56 Old 11-09-2011, 05:22 AM
 
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for yeast infections you don't have to eat it, just peel a clove and place in your vagina. works awesome. although I always felt I smelled a bit like a yeasty italian restaurant. No one else noticed. ( i asked some of my friends and sisters) Which is where the super smell comes in, oh it's terrible, so many unwashed people.

 

 

I have really been digging cold cut sandwiches and feta cheese on thick sliced italian toast. I seriously eat 4 oz at a time and chili. It's AMAZING!


Courtney and Cree, baby made 3, added one more then there were 4, sakes alive, then we had 5, another in the mix now we have 6!

A Momma in love with her Little Women-Jewel Face, Jo Jo Bean, June Bug, and Sweet Coraline.

 

 

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#26 of 56 Old 11-09-2011, 05:41 AM
 
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We are sick here too!  Good news is my DS learned how to blow his nose which makes things a lot easier.  Baby is doing well, we got to see her on u/s this past weekend and it's really helping with the bonding issue.  It was nice to be able to see her and also to know that everything is growing the way that it should.  The next time I see her will be in my bedroom, or bathroom, or living room... where ever I decide to birth =)  I'm so excited to see More Business of Being Born.  I loved the first one and it's a primary reason my husband is now on the natural birth wagon.  It's also an excellent resource to show your mainstream friends when they are pregnant, it will at least get them thinking.  


DS 12/08/09

DD 04/20/12

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#27 of 56 Old 11-09-2011, 10:12 AM
 
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I hope all of those dealing with illnesses get better soon! 

 

I finally e-mailed a couple doula perspectives in the area!  I'm hoping I get things figured out soon.  My husband might not be there for the birth and even if he is I want someone who's been prepared.  I know my husband wants to be there, but he's one of those that unless he knows for sure doesn't really want to prepare a whole lot because of the possible fear of it not working out.  He did however promise to read a book and work things out so we are on the same page! 


Mother to a crazy wonderful son born 7-11-09 and A very determined amazing daughter born 5-3-12!
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#28 of 56 Old 11-09-2011, 01:34 PM
 
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flavorfull - So glad that you got moved! I am confused about the insurance thing, but it seems that insurance things always leave me confused. One thing that our midwives said was that they never ever turn a client away because they would be unable to pay and they also have a sliding scale where you choose what you feel able to pay. Are there other midwives around that would work with you about getting the financial part figured out. That is so frustrating.

 

Hope everyone that is feeling ill is on the mend. It is a tough time of year for sure.

 

I had my first midwife appointment this week. The practice that we chose seems to be a good fit for us and I was glad to start going. We were able to hear the heart beating away; which was awesome. She also said that if I wasn't able to tell my mom that she couldn't come by when we are having the baby that they would ask her to leave if it seemed that her presence was interfering. That was pretty relieving. I really feel like I should tell her, but am nervous about the fall out from that conversation. Maybe I will wait until after the holidays have passed so that we can easily have space after if we need there to be. 

 

The second crazy craving that I've had hit me on Monday when I absolutely had to have smoked salmon. I usually don't it like at all. It was amazing tasty to me. Now, I am really thinking about Thursday Girl's feta sandwich with a watery mouth. We are having some amazingly heavy snow today though, so I won't be venturing out. 

 

 

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#29 of 56 Old 11-10-2011, 07:11 AM
 
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Checking in...been crazy busy lately!

 

I'm sorry so many are sick!!  I hope everyone gets better soon.  ((hugs))

 

Things are going well here except I have to have crowns on my 2 front teeth, it's a long story...basically, my dentist did some cosmetic work on my front teeth and ruined them so he could intentionally sell me crowns later.  I am seeing a different dentist in 2 weeks for a 2nd opinion.

 

Baby seems to be doing well.  I am constipated again, which is always fun.  :( 

 

I go back to the MW on the 14th.  :)


~Christy crochetsmilie.gif, mom to DD Sage (12-2003) joy.gif and DS Isaac (04-2012)  babyboy.gif, wife to Josh geek.gif.

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#30 of 56 Old 11-10-2011, 07:29 AM
 
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Christy - I hope that your dental issues get resolved and leave you with a beautiful smile! What a crook of a dentist!

 

It's snowing here! I like the snow but not the cold. Luckily it's not too cold yet but it does mean that I have to go shopping for winter gear for the kids. They are itching to get outside and play in it! That being said, I can't go out with them because I still have my chest cold. It's better but not gone yet. DH is out of town for another week. Hopefully my kiddos cooperate!


Married to DH 7 years and have three fantastic kiddos! DS 6, DD 4, and DS 2 ...... lo and behold another is on the way!

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