Mom, is it too much to ask... (a tiny rant about mom completly forgetting what is normal for a pregnant woman to experience.) - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 10 Old 11-14-2011, 12:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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...that you not freak out every single time that I mention I am feeling nauseous, uncomfortable, or a little tiered. You always ask me, "WHY? WHAT'S WRONG?" in a panicked voice and then get mad at me when I calmly answer, "I'm pregnant."

 

I'm probably a little off my game when it comes to managing my sometimes frustrating and difficult relationship with my mother. I fall for the bait every time she asks me how things are going, or asks why I sound off, or how is your morning going. I should just say fine and leave it at that. But dang, when you've just spent 2 hours gagging while changing diapers and cooking breakfast for hungry kids or it's late afternoon after a full day and you're laying down to rest when the phone rings it's hard not to admit how you're really feeling when asked.

 

I really hope when my daughters grow up and have babies I will not have completely blocked out everything I know about all things maternal the way my mom has.


One happy momma joy.gif to a very spirited little girl dust.gif, her tough little brother superhero.gif, and a happy little suprise late April 2012 stork-suprise.gif. Wife to an overworked and under paid husband geek.gif.

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#2 of 10 Old 11-14-2011, 04:03 PM
 
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:hugs: sorry mama. That's tough. Hopefully your mom might catch on soon, or you'll start feeling much better soon.


Married to my favorite man in '07. Our firstborn came along in April 2012 (HBC), and our second is on the way, due sometime in May 2014 (planning an HBAC).
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#3 of 10 Old 11-14-2011, 05:17 PM
 
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My mom is pretty spacey and I have this happen quite a lot even though we are close. I hope you got that nap after the conversation!  hug2.gif


Artist wife to dh_malesling.GIF. Mom to DSS superhero.gif (3 yrs) and DD (04/12).  brokenheart.gif (2/28/10). winner.jpgcd.gif

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#4 of 10 Old 11-14-2011, 05:24 PM
 
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Oh man my mom has been doing this to me too! She threatened to take me to the hospital one day when I was throwing up.

 

She also says things like, "I never had morning sickness when I was pregnant, I don't know why you're so sick." AS IF I'M NOT ALREADY WORRIED ALL THE TIME, MOM THANKS A LOT. Also: "I never needed to buy maternity clothes."

 

 


step-mama to R(4) and mama to my little man H (arrived 4/2012)

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#5 of 10 Old 11-14-2011, 06:21 PM
 
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Wow, do we all have the same mom?  Mine gets on me for not exercising (other than chasing a toddler all day) and then gets on me for "doing too much."

 

At least we're in good company!


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#6 of 10 Old 11-14-2011, 06:34 PM
 
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my mom was like that the first pregnancy, and boy it was difficult!! so sorry you're stressed out! she's been oddly calm this time around, but this pregnancy has been so much easier that it would be difficult to complain about this one...i hope you feel better soon !!! HUGS!!!


Married to overworked  DH reading.gif since 2003, happily familybed1.gif mama to DD (01/09) and  babyboy.gif DS (4/12)

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#7 of 10 Old 11-14-2011, 08:38 PM
 
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JustKate: my mom does the same thing... "Are you going for lots of walks?! It's really important!" then after telling her how I walked around the mall for hours with my grandma? "Don't overdo it!!"

"Take your needle, my child, and work at your pattern... it will come out a rose by and by. Life is like that . . . one stitch at a time, taken patiently." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
 

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#8 of 10 Old 11-14-2011, 08:57 PM
 
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Oh My God, we DO all have the same mother!!! I learned a few kids ago not to say one negative word, not I'm tired or nausea or anything, because then I get the 'I told you so" tone when she says, "Well what did you think it would be like? I told you not to have all those kids" Of course when I say fine, she then tells me how tired and stressed out I am, she can tell. Funny thing is, the reason I'm tense around her is becuase SHE stresses me out!!!!


~Me, mama to soapbox boy (1991), photo girl (1997), gadget girl (2003), jungle boy (2005), fan boy (2003) and twirly girl (2011). Twenty years of tree hugging, breastfeeding, cosleeping, unschooling, craziness
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#9 of 10 Old 11-15-2011, 03:29 AM
 
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My mom is much more like Anglyn...I almost think over protective would be better! Any comments my mom makes are jabs, but then again she's not any happier about this pregnancy than she was the other 4 :p She and I don't get along, she gets along with my sister much better and wishes she would give her some grandchildren. Oh well, since she's turning 30 this year, divorced, and not in any kind of relationship, I'm guessing my mom might have to be satisfied with the grandkids she got!

 

I'm hoping that I'm educated enough about the pregnancy and birth process that I will be able to come at my daughters pregnancies from a medical standpoint...meaning I won't get overly emotional and panicked, and won't forget how it's supposed to be...although I get worried about my own even knowing what I do, so maybe it doesn't work that way LOL


Brande: Mama of 5 and perpetual student.

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#10 of 10 Old 11-15-2011, 05:09 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm glad I'm not alone. It makes it easier some how. All this stuff is why my mom is not allowed to be any where near me while I'm in labor, in fact I don't even let her know when it starts, she just gets the 3 am call when the baby has arrived (and both times had no idea why we might be calling and telling her to go look at her email to see a picture, ha ha ha.)

 

After my first labor (home birth), she was VERY upset to hear that I vomited as I was moving into active labor and then again in transition. She thought I should have been rushed to the hospital right then and there. She did not want to hear how completely wonderful it was to puke my way through a contraction, to her it just was a sign of something terribly wrong going on and clearly my midwife was incompetent to not recognize this.

 

She needs to watch all those baby story shows to see that every single mom throws up at some point despite being not allowed to eat, fully hooked up to an epidural and IV and with all kinds of medical staff on hand. It's NORMAL!


One happy momma joy.gif to a very spirited little girl dust.gif, her tough little brother superhero.gif, and a happy little suprise late April 2012 stork-suprise.gif. Wife to an overworked and under paid husband geek.gif.

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