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Old 12-01-2011, 03:56 PM
 
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Originally Posted by autumngrey View Post

For me the Braxton Hicks I can feel a definite tightening sensation. The first one weirded me out until I figured out what was going on but since then it's happened at least once a day. It's not uncomfortable like a cramp for me, though. And it's not the same kind of tightness like a cramp that I'd feel only if I move in the "wrong" way. My stomach gets super hard and protrudes out noticeably, but doesn't hurt in the slightest. I was under the impression that a bit of discomfort is OK but that it shouldn't hurt. Baby kicks around like crazy afterward, as if to try to express a dislike for being squished in for those few seconds.


Yeah, that's what I'm used to.  Usually I don't notice.  Last pg I didn't notice at all until I was at a midwife visit and she asked if I could feel it.  Nope.  So she took my hand and had me touch my belly, and I was like, "oh, yeah, I've noticed that...."   This is weird though, like menstrual cramps.  Maybe its just gas. 


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Old 12-01-2011, 09:52 PM
 
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I am livid.

 

My nephew (DH's sister's 13 yr old son) sent me a message on facebook telling me that I should name our daughter Ellie, not Eleanor because she will be picked on. Cuss.gifThis coming from the little brat who gets ANYTHING he wants, I mean literally. I have driven down to see my SIL (two and a half hour drive) 12 times since we have been married (April 2010). She has not once come up here to see us because she never has any money, blah, blah. Well I am a student and DH works, but we make it (barely). Yet she buys every new XBOX 360 game that comes out on the day it comes out, 4 North Face hoodies ($60 a pop), and he "lost" $300 on a trip to Florida with his friends family this summer. He is also very ill mannered and disrespectful. SIL has MS that is progressively getting worse and he can't even pitch in to help with the laundry.

 

This kid also yelled at my DSS for wanting to come in his room and watch him and his friend play their game and play with them. hopmad.gifThat was the deciding moment that I thought, nope. Not coming back. And we haven't. SIL also keeps pushing that DSS should stay with her when my dad (DSS's only grandfather that loves him) has surgery December 20th to remove his prostate. She thinks it will make it easier on me! How? By having to call and check on him all the time? Last time DSS and I went to see her (DH wasn't invited because his SIL thought he went through her stuff when we stayed the last time, for what? No clue but he for sure didn't take anything I trust him and unpacked his bag!) DSS woke in the middle of the night wanting DH and it took  me an HOUR to soothe him back to sleep.

 

As you can tell, there is a lot of frustration built up but I can't take this. I am sick of being the only one to make an effort with his family. DH has told me even before we got married that this would happen. SIL wants to control everything and would love to HAVE DSS. She thrives if I mention an argument. Because in her eyes, DH couldn't handle DSS if he and I split (not gonna happen), and DSS wouldn't go to his birth mother because she couldn't support him, so she thinks that she would get him.nono.gif I just can't take her negative attitude any time I mention that DH said something I thought was a bit snippy.

 

I know that she is toxic and DH has told me so... it is just taking me so long to accept it. DH has no other family than her, his mother passed away eight years ago and the family is so spread out that SIL is the only one we have contact with.

 

And now I am considering changing the name from Eleanor Rose to Lenora Rose. This: banghead.gif  is how I feel most of the time. 

 

If you made it through that rant, thanks. I just don't know what/ how to handle the situation. My best friend is coming in (same town that SIL lives in) December 16th and she has clothes for the baby. I would also love to see her kids, my goddaughters but I don't want to go down and see SIL. I can't not go see my friend, I was her surrogate mother when she was pregnant with her first ( her mom chose to divorce her dad and leave the state when my friend was 4 months pregnant at 17), assisted in her birth and we are as close as sisters. I'm the matron of honor in her wedding in May for goodness sakes! But I am in a pickle, ladies.

 

 

On a happier note, I bought an owl binkie for the baby today that I just couldn't resist. See the link below for cuteness.

 

http://www.target.com/p/Tiddliwinks-Pink-Owl-Security-Blanket/-/A-13545913#?ref=tgt_adv_XSP10001&AFID=pricegrabber_df&LNM=|13545913&CPNG=&ci_src=5784816&ci_sku=13545913

 

And she is kicking quite a bit tonight. Who knew 13 ounces could pack that much of a punch! But I am off to bed to cuddle up with DH and 'A Dance of Dragons." Any ideas as to how I should handle this are greatly appreciated. 


Artist wife to dh_malesling.GIF. Mom to DSS superhero.gif (3 yrs) and DD (04/12).  brokenheart.gif (2/28/10). winner.jpgcd.gif

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Old 12-01-2011, 10:24 PM
 
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WOW!  and I thought my SIL was bad!  I don't really know what to suggest other than to avoid her and her son like the plague.  

I did want to say, however, that I hope you stick with Eleanor Rose.  I prefer it to Lenora Rose and I don't think you should let your nephew ruin something that you obviously love.  Good luck!


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Old 12-02-2011, 06:12 AM
 
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I know it is much more easily said than done, but I would start going about your life not paying much attention to SIL and her son. Her son's opinion on your daughter's name is of no consequence in any long term or medium-term sense, although I'm sure it's quite aggravating right now. :( Can you visit your dear friend without telling SIL you're in town? I have friends come and go by my city. Sometimes we see each other, sometimes we don't. You can't always fit everything in every trip.


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Old 12-02-2011, 07:15 AM
 
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Rosie-I posted about using Coraline in the ginormous name thread. The only way it might be changed is if it just doesn't fither when she's born, but it feels pretty right and I do like having a name to call her.\

 

 

csescky- ignore them, some punk 13 year old doesn't know what the heck he is talking about.  I'd cut them out of your life, and don't give up Eleanor Rose it is so beautiful. Family can be such a pia because they get away with stuff we wouldn't tolerate from friends b/c "they are family" but sometimes cutting them out is for the best.

 

so I have another pregnancy question. I am gogin to call the midwifes b/c I don't want to hang out with this until the 13th (my next appt) so at times my lungs seem to get really tight and everything in my chest seems speeded up, like maybe my heart is beating faster blood is flowing faster. It's so hard to explain because I am not even sure what I am feeling. I lay down when it happens but it freaks me out, plus I have been lightheaded a lot, and not just on standing up or when i eat too much sugar. These things have never happened with any of my other pregnancies. Thankfully Coraline moves while the constricted lungs speedy chest thing goes on so at least I know she is alive, although i worry it might be uncomfortable for her too.


Courtney and Cree, baby made 3, added one more then there were 4, sakes alive, then we had 5, another in the mix now we have 6!

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Old 12-02-2011, 07:35 AM
 
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it really sounds like you just dont need them in your life.  anyone who delights in another persons marital distress is "off," to say the least.  Also, don't let them ruin your daughter's beautiful name.  Eleanor Rose is a beautiful name, and if thats still the favorite in your heart, then use it.  One positive thing about your post is that you mentioned that DH has recognized his sister's true colors.  At least you can disconnect without having to fight that battle, and he's on your side.  So I say, only let people into your life who can make it better.  There are very few things we have such control over in regards to our outside circumstances, but this one you can choose to walk away from, and for your sake, the sake of your nuclear family and your unborn child, I'd say eliminate as much unnecessary stress as possible.  They will all appreciate a more relaxed mama ;)

 

well, that's my two cents.  good luck!!!


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Old 12-02-2011, 07:55 AM
 
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talked to midwife, she suggested taking iron because it could be the increased blood volume and such, also that I need to find a way to take time for myself. she was asking if anything emotionally was going on, if i was anxious and then it hit me, this sort of felt like a very mild panic attack. I've had them before but full blown. Plus while she was telling me to find a way to get some time for myself, a walk, a shower, etc I felt like just crying, so yeah I think that's it.  now I feel silly for not realizing what it was. I have just had a rather stressful week and there are all sorts of health problems with my mom on top of not knowing how she is going to continue paying for her house, I have to drive her to her appointments, etc.


Courtney and Cree, baby made 3, added one more then there were 4, sakes alive, then we had 5, another in the mix now we have 6!

A Momma in love with her Little Women-Jewel Face, Jo Jo Bean, June Bug, and Sweet Coraline.

 

 

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Old 12-02-2011, 08:07 AM
 
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This. I find people put up with grief from family for too long, just because they're family. In my opinion, if there's oodles of obligation and no reward, there's no point in maintaining that relationship.w. By reward I mean things like the other person being kind, a feeling of understanding, love, etc. If it's just grief and obligation, there's no point. One of the best things I've ever done in my life was cut out my toxic family members, which includes my mom, dad, and half sister. I got a lot of grief for being a "bad daughter" from some friends, but overall these days people are impressed I was able to break away. I'm certainly much happier for it. Heck, last year we cut out DH's oldest sister (he's #4 of 6) over some serious stupidity on her part, and when we did there were a few emails of "ugh, I am so sick of dealing with her b.s." It sounds like I drop people easily, but I don't. You have to TRY to piss me off, a lot. In my SIL's case she shunned my 1 year old because DH and I wouldn't wear all black to a family photo, spammed my inbox with insults to my husband, and literally refused to speak to us or DD if we were in the room.
 

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Originally Posted by RosieL View Post

I know it is much more easily said than done, but I would start going about your life not paying much attention to SIL and her son. Her son's opinion on your daughter's name is of no consequence in any long term or medium-term sense, although I'm sure it's quite aggravating right now. :( Can you visit your dear friend without telling SIL you're in town? I have friends come and go by my city. Sometimes we see each other, sometimes we don't. You can't always fit everything in every trip.



 


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Old 12-02-2011, 08:36 AM
 
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it really sounds like you just dont need them in your life.  anyone who delights in another persons marital distress is "off," to say the least.  Also, don't let them ruin your daughter's beautiful name.  Eleanor Rose is a beautiful name, and if thats still the favorite in your heart, then use it.  One positive thing about your post is that you mentioned that DH has recognized his sister's true colors.  At least you can disconnect without having to fight that battle, and he's on your side.  So I say, only let people into your life who can make it better.  There are very few things we have such control over in regards to our outside circumstances, but this one you can choose to walk away from, and for your sake, the sake of your nuclear family and your unborn child, I'd say eliminate as much unnecessary stress as possible.  They will all appreciate a more relaxed mama ;)

 

well, that's my two cents.  good luck!!!


DH has known for years and he keeps telling me to just not even bother calling to tell her about anything. I do feel horrible because DSS has a great connection with her. But when I see how her 13 yr old acts and how she continually makes excuses for him/ always tell him what our problems are; there is no way that she could be a good influence on DSS. It's a hard decision to make, cutting people out of your life. I've cut out two close friends in the past year and I don't feel bad for it. They were decisions that I had to make. If I don't answer SIL's phone calls she blows up DH's phone with text messages, "Why are you keeping Lauren from talking to me?" or "Why are you answering her phone?" DH was completely taken aback, we don't even mess with one another's phones.

 


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by sunflwrmoonbeam View Post

This. I find people put up with grief from family for too long, just because they're family. In my opinion, if there's oodles of obligation and no reward, there's no point in maintaining that relationship.w. By reward I mean things like the other person being kind, a feeling of understanding, love, etc. If it's just grief and obligation, there's no point. One of the best things I've ever done in my life was cut out my toxic family members, which includes my mom, dad, and half sister. I got a lot of grief for being a "bad daughter" from some friends, but overall these days people are impressed I was able to break away. I'm certainly much happier for it. Heck, last year we cut out DH's oldest sister (he's #4 of 6) over some serious stupidity on her part, and when we did there were a few emails of "ugh, I am so sick of dealing with her b.s." It sounds like I drop people easily, but I don't. You have to TRY to piss me off, a lot. In my SIL's case she shunned my 1 year old because DH and I wouldn't wear all black to a family photo, spammed my inbox with insults to my husband, and literally refused to speak to us or DD if we were in the room.
 



Exactly and I have to just do it! I really want to avoid any confrontation but I know with SIL, that's impossible. With my dad's surgery, finals, DSS and I being sick for two weeks, and trying to prepare for Eleanor; I can't deal with her crap. Y'know? I will just see how it goes. She sounds perturbed and annoyed when she talks to me most of the time (because I'm telling her no about her wanting to watch DSS) so maybe she is just as annoyed with me as I am with her.

 

Thanks for responding ladies. Last night the nephew just hit a nerve! 

 

 

ThursdayGirl: Get some time to yourself if you can and I hope things get better soon!


Artist wife to dh_malesling.GIF. Mom to DSS superhero.gif (3 yrs) and DD (04/12).  brokenheart.gif (2/28/10). winner.jpgcd.gif

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Old 12-02-2011, 08:44 AM
 
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ThursdayGirl- reading your post before you wrote the midwife's response, my first thought was that you might be anemic and that you should boost your iron (I have alot of experience with this). i had also had anxiety. Keep breathing and eat some super iron rich foods everyday, i think it will help.


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Old 12-02-2011, 10:04 AM
 
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sure enough jess I stopped in to get my iron checked. drastically lower then last time.

Courtney and Cree, baby made 3, added one more then there were 4, sakes alive, then we had 5, another in the mix now we have 6!

A Momma in love with her Little Women-Jewel Face, Jo Jo Bean, June Bug, and Sweet Coraline.

 

 

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Old 12-02-2011, 12:01 PM
 
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DH has known for years and he keeps telling me to just not even bother calling to tell her about anything. I do feel horrible because DSS has a great connection with her. But when I see how her 13 yr old acts and how she continually makes excuses for him/ always tell him what our problems are; there is no way that she could be a good influence on DSS. It's a hard decision to make, cutting people out of your life. I've cut out two close friends in the past year and I don't feel bad for it. They were decisions that I had to make. If I don't answer SIL's phone calls she blows up DH's phone with text messages, "Why are you keeping Lauren from talking to me?" or "Why are you answering her phone?" DH was completely taken aback, we don't even mess with one another's phones.

 


 



 

So I'm a pretty no nonsense kind of girl.  If you can't bring something positive into my life, then just don't bother. In my world, that would apply to your SIL (as it does to my MIL and FIL).  Sounds like it would be time to block her calls/txts via your cell phone carrier or change your number.  Maybe it would take something drastic for her to realize that she can either be a positive contributor to your life, or a non-contributor...sounds harsh, but I couldn't put up with those antics for long!


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Old 12-02-2011, 12:05 PM
 
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wow TG you have a lot going on.  My dd was recently diagnosed as severly anemic (she bruises when we hold her leg to put her shoe on...) anyway, after MUCH research I found a great iron supplement that is easy on her/our systems (I take it too now).  It's called IntraMax (for adults) and IntraKid for te littles.  Anyway, it's got sound research and has helped our iron deficiency significantly.  The IntraMax has iron and I believe enough of everything else to be appropriate as a prenatal vitamin.  Just thought I'd share.  It's made a world of difference over here!


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Old 12-02-2011, 08:32 PM
 
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So I'm a pretty no nonsense kind of girl.  If you can't bring something positive into my life, then just don't bother. In my world, that would apply to your SIL (as it does to my MIL and FIL).  Sounds like it would be time to block her calls/txts via your cell phone carrier or change your number.  Maybe it would take something drastic for her to realize that she can either be a positive contributor to your life, or a non-contributor...sounds harsh, but I couldn't put up with those antics for long!



DH and I had a long conversation about it while I before I loaded a kiln today (which took 2 hours, sooo much intro work). We decided that we would go down on December 17th, just DH and I to see my friend. We will just go down for the day and come back. I have two slings I made for SIL's daughter in law, who just had their first child a couple of weeks ago. I will message her DIL and probably see if we can stop by that day, if not I will just mail them to her. I'm not going to bring up coming back down to SIL at least for a while. I have a final at 1 pm on the 16th so there is no way I am driving/riding that much after a final. My mom will watch DSS for the day and we will probably be back by 7pm at the latest. 

 

I'm also pretty no nonsense but when DH and I were talking today I said, "I don't want to have the conversation with her right now that will be me telling her: 'If you want a relationship with DSS and I, you also have to have a relationship with your brother (DH)'" He said, "That's pretty harsh." ---This confused me until he explained that he agrees that we don't need the added stress to our lives of confrontation with her and thinks that we should just slowly ween her out of our lives, if we can.

 

So we will see how it goes.


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Old 12-03-2011, 06:20 PM
 
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Sounds like a good plan. :) 


Married to my favorite man in '07. Our firstborn came along in April 2012 (HBC), and our second is on the way, due sometime in May 2014 (planning an HBAC).
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Old 12-05-2011, 08:13 AM
 
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So It's a grumpy Monday morning over here.  dd didn't sleep till 2am, and woke up at 6:45. HELP!!! I'm so stinking exhausted b/c it took me till 4 to even get back to sleep, and then up again at 7...ugh.  I hope your Sunday night was better...


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Old 12-05-2011, 09:21 AM
 
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I think I went to sleep around 1am but woke up at 5:30 because I let my 5yo sleep with me last night and of course it was the first night in i don't know how log that he wet the bed irked.gif


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