Hubs & I can't agree on a girl's name...anyone have advice? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 02-26-2012, 01:51 PM - Thread Starter
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Hi Ladies,


The hubs and I are struggling to agree on a girl's name.  He loves Kaya- I think it's very pretty & like the meaning but feel it's way too trendy right now. He doesn't care if it's trendy and says it's an ancient name and likes that it means "island" in Taino (part of his native heritage). 


I'm Italian-American and always wanted to name my child an Italian name since that tradition is being lost in my family ...since my husband is Hispanic I thought we might find some common ground with the overlap of Italian/Spanish sounding names, but he says he identifies more with his African/Taino roots.


I really like Angelina...but I'm open to many other names however he just shoots everything down.  He agrees Angelina is a beautiful name but thinks it's too common & too soft.  He likes "cool" names & I like "classic & feminine".


I keep reminding him that the baby is going to have his last name which is Hispanic but he says he doesn't identify with his last name and it doesn't mean much to him.  I find this VERY upsetting because I would have much preferred to keep my own Italian last name or at least hyphenate when we got married but he was very insistent that I change my name to his and because it was so important to him I ended up moving my last name to a second middle name and taking his last name to please him.  If I had known back then that he cared so little for his last name I wouldn't have bothered because I actually like the name I grew up with!


I'm just wondering where the room is for my heritage to be represented in our child's name.  I feel like part of my identity is getting lost all of a sudden.  I am so worried we aren't going to settle on anything.  We are both pretty headstrong and stubborn.  To make matters worse we made the mistake of telling our parents about our name choices & his mom likes Kaya, and of course my parents like Angelina.  It's stupid but I feel like if I agree to go with Kaya my mom will think I'm weak for not standing up for myself.


I'm ready to throw out both these names and start from scratch to find something completely new.  I'm just so unexcited about the process now because it's been so difficult and not fun at all.  I'm already feeling like a bad momma to the babe stressing over what should be a joyful decision...just wishing this could be a fun and easygoing process...


Sorry for the long post...would love some advice!






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#2 of 3 Old 02-29-2012, 06:56 PM
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have you thought about using your last name as the baby's middle name?  in my family, the tradition is that the son takes the mother's maiden name as his middle name.  you could easily switch it over to your daughter, then you would definitely have both of your heritages represented.  then you could come up with a name that maybe isn't so specific to one side or another.  just a thought!

Erin , loving wife to Dave, mom to 3cat.gif, angel.gifangel.gifDec. '06, angel.gifOct. '08, DD Reagan Oct. 3, 2009

and DS Jack April 4,2012

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#3 of 3 Old 03-24-2012, 01:49 PM
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Picking names has been one of the most stressful part of the pregnancy process for me and my husband. He likes tradtional, I like unique. We have found that we typically we do better actually doing the name after the baby is born. We talk about it a little before...but not a whole lot.
With my third child both of us were stubborn and would not move on he didn't have a name for almost two weeks after he was born 0_o. I finally gave into my husbands request....still not a fan of

I have never heard of Kaya.

Have you thought about Angelina Kaya or Kaya Angelina?

My husband and I don't really have strong heritages to affect our naming...just our preferences. But to me.....two names and two spots open for just use them both and you both win =S

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