FIN #29, OR - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 1 Old 10-31-2011, 10:38 AM - Thread Starter
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FIN #29, OR

Please contact heatherdeg if you have anything for this family.

What is your family situation?

Our family has continually had lean times going back many years. DH works very hard as a public school teacher, and doesn't get paid nearly enough. He also has been chipping away at obtaining his Master's degree, which is very expensive and so this has taken many years. It also takes a toll on us financially, as I am the sole care provider for our 9 year old son. He has autism/Asperger's, and this is a challenge we have lived with since he was just under 2 years old. Before we knew his diagnosis, I had been in school part time and DS was in the college day care. I was taking classes during the day and we had taken out a student loan to pay for all of it. This loan is STILL in repayment, and every month gets deducted from our pay. We rely on services through the state for respite care, but the funds are few. It takes a certain person who is the right fit and whom we can trust to care for our son, so we have little time for respite, as we cannot afford it and there are few options. Our family all live out of state, and we have no immediate "physical" support here, which makes it all more trying.

I have applied for grants, financial assistance for utilities, and social security for DS. We have been denied from all of these and have been told that financially we are over the limit. Every time it's only by 1-2 thousand dollars, and frustrates me to no end. We work hard, are honest, and don't have an even average income for our area; yet we are denied help that we truly need.

I work very part time and only when DS is in school. This helps a little, but not enough. I need to be there for my son. Before and after care at his school are not options because of certain behaviors he has. He has been "kicked out" or not allowed to participate in these for those reasons. This is very isolating and can be very depressing. DH and I are on medications for depression and anxiety, but medications don't take the place of all things including being able to visit family for holidays, being able to have alone time with and without DH, and being able to comfortably afford basic things.

In addition to our family needs, my father has been living with prostate cancer the past several years. This has caused emotional strain and such heartache for me which is unbearable. It is costly to travel back and forth between states, and my parents do not have much money either. This has been the most difficult period of my life personally, both as a daughter, a mother and a wife. Because of financial strain, important parts of daily living as well as extended family responsibility has become magnified. I have tried to cope with therapy groups, going to temple, and attempting to reach out to DH. There are constant emotional strains because of DS and his behaviors, and constant calls from school, meetings with our case manager, and such. I am ashamed to admit all of this and it's embarrassing to read it back. Daily living becomes stressful when decisions come down to whether to use the last money we are down to for gas in the car or to pay $6 for a school field trip. It is so humiliating, and I cannot admit this to friends.

I would love to be on the other side of this, and be offering to help other people in need instead of being one of them. I am not proud of asking for help like this. In fact, I never imagined I would have hardship such as this in life. Who does?

I appreciate your consideration in my situation. I know that there are so many out there living with hardships as well. I only know mine, and can say that I want to move forward and hopefully next year I won't be asking for anything greensad.gif

We celebrate Hannukah

Sensitivities/Allergies include: cat and dog hair, smoke, fabric softeners,

Please list up to 2 items per person in your family and up to 2 items for your family as a whole below. (If you are requesting gift cards, please specify local or online stores that, if money is available, gift cards can be provided that you can conveniently use.)

Of the items requested below, please prioritize the top 3 overall needs of your family (this can not include direct financial help such as bills paid):

Top 3 overall needs;

1.) Grocery essentials
2.) Household essentials (TP, toothpaste,)
3.) Gas/fuel for commute


Child #1:
Age 9
Gender: Male

Items requested:
1. warm scarf
2. warm socks

Child #2: n/a
We only had one child because of finances greensad.gif

Adult #1
Gender: Female

Items requested:
1. Warm scarf
2. Warm slippers size 5

Adult #2:
Gender: Male

Items requested:
1. Warm socks (sz 10 1/2)

2. gift card for gas (chevron, shell, Arco)

Needs for Your Family As A Whole;

Items requested:
1. gift card groceries (Costco)
2. gift card- essentials e.g. underwear, socks, etc. (Target, Costco)

$100 from Hyland's program.

ETA $50 Costco gift card & $50 Target Gift Card

two hat & scarf sets

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