I was all set to have my reasonably thought out 3rd c/s, which would also allow me to handle a pregnancy after recently having been given a much better position at work.
Now I'm back to wondering if there just might be a chance of a natural vaginal birth for me. I was pretty sad to have missed the opportunity the other two times. I never thought I'd have a c/s with the first and didn't even prepare for the possibility of any problems arising during labor. After three shifts of midwives, I final ended up with a c/s. With the second, I was all set for a VBAC with a doula and plan, and I never went into labor. I walked into the hospital at 42 weeks, on the last day before being dropped by my midwife group, and had a c/s. It turns out I had a window on my uterus from the first c/s which could have created a tragic situation. This eased my disappointment about the second c/s a bit. It seems now that the risk of a vaginal birth is likely higher than that of a c/s for me, but I'm back to reading all the "trust your body" stuff and now I'm wondering if I shouldn't try for a VBAC after to c/s.
The thing is it poses a few logistical problems:
1. I was just promoted at work and am planning to return to work asap for just two days a week (while pumping) and dh will stay with the baby. I just have to do the two days for seven weeks and then I'll be off for three months. This will keep work happy. I hope.
2. I would need to get new providers and go to a hospital much further from my home that has an anesthesiologist on 24 hours. This presents the problem I had originally... I think I went to early b/c I was worried about the distance. Also, I already have two kids and this would cause logistical problems there.
"Trust your body" has lots of meanings. One interpretation of what your body has told you so far: after a long long labor, with (hopefully) good CNMs, your body and your baby needed a c/s. and that your scar is very vulnerable, and your body told you a 2nd time you needed a c/s. I have to admit, I'm not a "birth works" kind of person because honestly, evolution leaves in its wake a lot of dead mothers and babies if we don't intervene. Not to use scare tactics- but just to say that birth works for us as a species but no promises for any one individual. I do TOTALLY believe you should avoid any interventions that are not needed, and be a very involved decision-maker in that process, when interventions are needed. So, conclusion is, if I were in your shoes I would have a c/s. you will and should mourn what you have lost, that vaginal birth experience, and that is a very very serious/ important loss.
Just one perspective.
I do often joke that I am hormonally challenged. It took me a year to get pregnant with my first; the second came quickly, and then it took about five years of trying to get pregnant with this one. It also seems strange that I never went into labor with the second. I had the c/s at 42 weeks and he was almost 11 pounds... so I'm pretty sure the date wasn't worn for anything.
I suppose the c/s is likely the least risky at this point. I think you are correct though. I have to allow myself to feel the loss of that experience. I guess I just never saw myself as the c/s mom, but indeed it's better than a tragic ending.