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Considering Repeat CS in 2nd preg...dealing with judgment...

2K views 6 replies 7 participants last post by  Rana Sylvestris 
#1 ·
I'm due with my 2nd LO in June and am in the midst of considering my options. Right now I want to just have a "playing it by ear" policy and see how the pregnancy goes, how the baby's measuring, and where my thoughts are come April/May.

Anyway, I feel like whenever I bring up that I'm considering a repeat CS, I get a lot of judgment from people. People feel so strongly about this topic (in both directions) and it seems impossible to just gather unbiased information. According to everything I read, you're a horrible mother if you have an elective CS, and you're a horrible mother if you risk a VBAC. I get so tired of the attitude I get from people and articles and forums I read. I've stopped looking into any of it lately because it's so irritating. It makes the decision so much more difficult for me.

I guess I'm not asking anything in particular, just venting to people who might get it a little. For those who've made this choice already, was there anything that helped you with it?
 
#3 ·
OP, I don't have advice for you, but I want to tell you that I so very much understand how you feel. My first was a CS after a long natural labor, due to him being a 12 lb child. I'm terrified to try a vaginal birth again. Yet signing up for another CS should I ever have another child seems like defeat too. I get it.

Anyone who judges you does not understand. This is YOUR BODY. Hugs.
 
#4 ·
I totally feel your pain. Even though we realize that it's our decision, etc., it's hard to deal with the judgement. I am part of another group and I recently posted that it is so hard because we have a CHOICE... so... if something goes wrong with whatever decision we choose, we'll feel we should have chosen the other option. Neither option is risk free. There is no sure answer. I too am conflicted. I wasn't with my 2nd because I planned a VBAC, but never went into labor and had to have a repeat c/s. I was really bummed, but happy to get my healthy baby. They observed a large window during that c/s so I was pretty much set on a c/s this time around, but now I'm feeling conflicted and can't decide. I feel I might be aiming for the VBAC for selfish reasons, they I think the routine c/s mightn't be necessary, etc. Good luck with and remember that shortly after the birth no one will think about it either way except on the rare occasion that you end up in a "birth stories" conversation.
 
#5 ·
It does feel like everyone expects us to have strong feelings or a decided preference. I, personally, didn't. Either way things ended up was going to be okay with me.

I ended up going with a repeat c-section simply because that was my doctor's preference, I knew my odds of a successful VBAC weren't as high if my doctor wasn't fully on board, and didn't feel like changing doctors. Had my doctor not had a preference I would have waited until late in the pregnancy to have gotten an idea of baby's size and position to decide which way to go.

I know that my reasons for my choice may seem kinda lame. Especially considered there isn't a single other thing the whole pregnancy that I did just because my doctor recommended it. But it's mine reason and I'm really okay with that. My kids are now 7 and 10. Yes I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I'd tried a VBAC, but I'm also okay with the repeat c-section. With my first baby I dilated to 9.5, so I got to do labor and knew that it wasn't anything I was scared of. I knew it was something I could handle. I'd ended up with a c-section so I also knew that was something I could handle as well, even though, yes, the recovery sucks. This left me with no real strong feelings either way about what I had to have happen. I really was okay with going along with the flow until one option or the other made itself the better choice in my mind.

Your not alone in not having a decided preference and that's okay.
 
#6 ·
As others have said it's your choice. People often have strong opinions, but it doesn't mean they have all the facts or your best interests at heart. I would suggest that either way it should be decision between you and your doctor.

At beginning of pregnancy I thought I wanted a VBAC. It wasn't terribly important to me, but it seemed like something that might be worth a try and my doctor was ok with it. As, the pregnancy advanced I really didn't care any more. I just wanted my baby out and healthy. I didn't go into labor so we scheduled a c-section. The c-section turned out to be the right choice. Big Baby...Big Shoulders...was never going to drop.

The recovery was much easier than the first and I have no regrets about how things turned out. I think the fact that you don't have strong feelings either way is actually good. If you were dead set on a VBAC and it didn't happen how miserable would you be for something you had no control over? If your feelings aren't strong then, just don't worry about it for now. A wait and see attitude is not a bad thing when is comes to child birth...you never really know what's going to happen anyway.

Best of Luck and Congratulations on your coming baby.
 
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