The problem is that the scar area feels numb and weird. I know it's normal, but I absolutely hate it. I feel like there's an area of my body that I can't touch, and it's driving me crazy.
I read about adhesions and when I felt some weird pain about 2 months ago every time I emptied my bladder, I started massaging the area following a technique and the pain disappeared after a few days.
I'm doing everything I can to keep the area healthy, but I'm scared... Will the numbness go away? Will I ever feel normal again?
And let's suppose that it gets better, what happens after a second or third csec? Does the scar gets worse and more numb with another csec on top of this one?
I could have a vbac, you will probably say... But I've been thinking about it and even knowing that my next pregnancy is going to be in a few years, I am already stressing about it. I will not have a hospital vbac by no means no matter what. And I'm scared about a hbac. I don't plan to have a big family, probably just another child. But I feel that no matter what, I can't win. I really don't want another csec, the surgery and recovery weren't traumatic at all but I want to heal and not go back to square one with another surgery. But I don't want to have a vbac in a hospital, and I'm scared to have a hombirth having had a csec. I'm also worrying about natural childbirth, what if I tear badly and then I get a csec scar, a vaginal scar or a prolapse or....?
I'm sorry I'm not being very clear, I just worry about all those things a lot. I really really don't want to go through what I've been through last time. If I choose to have another child I want to have control over everything no matter what, because destiny had laughed at my childbirth plans last time!
Eta: changed my to may
Had my C-section 1/2007, and any numbness went away years ago. If I'm not looking at it, I can't find my incision with my finger - it just feels regular both on the surface and deeper. I know I'm on the lucky side - I do tend to heal very quickly and very smoothly - but I'm not a healing freak or anything.
It sounds like the bigger thing is feeling so out of control about how your baby was born. I know it feels huge right now, and childbirth is definitely a huge thing, but as your baby grows and starts doing more and more and becomes a kid, the birth does shrink in importance. 100 years ago my daughter would have died, and I would have died without an experienced midwife. It took me a while to wrap my head around everything that happened, but really more than figuring it out I just was able to lay it down.
My first c-sec scar was kind of raised and visible so when I had my second child (22 months after first) my doctor cut around the first scar and completely removed it before sitting into my uterus. Then when it healed the second time it looked much better. Now you honestly can barely see it at all.
Congrats on your new little sweetheart
Tracyamber: I know that having a vbac will not affect the csec scar (unless I have a rupture), what I'm saying is that I don't want a hospital vbac, and I'm afraid of a hbac, but I don't want another csec... I don't know, then I should have no more children?
Letitia: The thing is that I had bad luck and a regular hospital birth. I had bad luck because I was doing wonderfully until week 34 of pregnancy, when I had a hemorrhage (never knew why). I had my midwife and a homebirth plan, after that stupid bleeding I had to give up my homebirth. And then I had a PROM at week 40 and no contractions at all, for more than 24 hours. How did it end? In a csec. I feel broken, I never had surgery in my life, and I heal fast too, but I don't feel this was a life or death situation at all... it was just bad luck... I don't want a scar, I don't want numbness in a part of my body, I don't like feeling weird.
Melinda: It's so great that you feel normal! How was the recovery for the second surgery? How was the scar afterwards? It kind of makes me ick just to think that the doctor would cut right on top of my scar, grrr I feel that it should be left alone!
I know I shouldn't stress! Trust me, this is not something that I keep obsessing about. I just plan ahead, that's just how I work, and eventually I'm going to have to make a decision about how I want to deliver my second child (I want another one... I really do, in about 4 years). And everytime I shower I touch the scar and it makes me mad, just how things turned out. I'm not that scared of another recovery, I just wonder if it's healthy to have a scar reopened, I know it happens every day, but when it comes to my body.. I just wonder.
But I vote follow your heart !
I had a c-section and six months later had a myomectomy ( they opened the same scar) had no problems same numbness nothing more, nothing less. Because I had 16 incisions in my uterus I cannot have a vbac or hbac so I guess I have fewer options..... And I m gonna have more kids dang it!
10 years later, and I still have some numbness. It is not fully numb, but some of the more subtle sensations are gone, and the receptors that are left are the ones that feel.... hm... prickly. For example, if I itch something in my lower abdomen, the sensation is more plainly painful that other places where there are some other sensations. Hard to describe. The numbness did recede, but I am not entirely back to normal, and probably never will be. Can't speak to multiple cesareans. I will say that after 10 years, you simply don't focus on those things any more. It was a long, slow, difficult process, but there are times that I have to remind myself that dd1 was born by cesarean. One day, numbness or not, saggy belly or not, you will think of your cesarean and realize that you haven't thought about it in months.
"Let me see you stripped down to the bone. Let me hear you speaking just for me."