Hi all, I am not sure if this is the right place to post this, I'm hoping so. My boy is almost 11 and intact. I have never pushed back his foreskin as I was assured it would happen on its own. Except for one ER nurse who forced his skin back to catheterize him when he was about four (I thought I was going to pass out!) he's been the sole owner of his foreskin.
A couple weeks ago my boy said his penis was hurting a bit and I asked him if his foreskin was starting to detach, he said yes, a bit. So I assume that is what the pain was from. He put a little neosporin on it and said it was fine in the morning. Last night he had a couple questions so I did my best to answer him. I explained it will eventually pull all the way back and he will simply wash it and dry it every day, and pull the skin back over when he's done cleaning and drying. I stressed to make sure he rinses off any soap really well. He asked about the white stuff and I told him it is called smegma, and he can wipe it off daily in the shower or bath, but that it is normal and we googled it for what the function is. He wanted to know how long it would take for it to pull all the way back and I said maybe a couple years? I told him he would just know how far back to go with it and to not try to force it back. It seems like a boy wouldn't force it back anyway though because it would be painful.
Anything else I should add to our discussion while he is still willing to discuss it with me? He was mostly curious how hard it is to get the smegma off, it seems like it should just wipe right off but that it will build up daily right?
Thanks for any additional advice!
You said to rinse off soap really well, but soap should never get anywhere near the glans, period!! It's the equivalent of soaping the inside of your vagina--noooo! Soap should be used for the outside area like around the scrotum and general pubic area but should never get near the head of the penis.
Just pull it back and rinse with plain running water, then replace it. I don't think drying it is a good idea either, since it's supposed to stay moist all the time (just like the inside of a vagina.)
Okay, thank you artekah. I will tell him not to use soap near the head, I mostly meant to rinse well if soap from washing of the scrotum, etc., comes in contact with the glans but I can see how he might think I meant to actually use soap on the glans, I will reiterate before he bathes tonight. Thank you for the advice about drying as well, I wasn't aware he shouldn't do that. Mostly what I want is him to know how to care for it and to prevent odor problems. I had an intact boyfriend when I was in my 20s and it was a fantastic experience, he never had any issues. But I have heard from other women that they have had not so great experiences with intact men. I just want to make sure he knows exactly how to care for himself and since he is just now beginning the retraction process, I want to give him all the information he needs in case he stops being willing to talk to me about it.
Yeah, nix the soap for the inside parts. Just water is fine! :)
Moving to the Intact Care subforum.
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Thanks ladies (and gents?) he seems to be not as irritated now. He mentioned it seems to detach more every day so I thought perhaps it is just detaching quickly and that's why it hurts? I'm glad you all are here and this is pretty much the only site on the internet where parents can get good advice about intact bosy.