Issue With Daycare Worker - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 8 Old 02-06-2013, 03:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
Mama2Dane's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Florida!
Posts: 483
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

So I went to pick up my intact son from daycare today and he was poopy, so this woman insisted on changing him before I took him. I looked away for a moment and when I looked back she had his foreskin partially retracted. She said, "I don't want you to be alarmed, mom, but I can only retract his foreskin this far." To which I responded, "You don't need to retract his foreskin at all, and in fact you shouldn't." This woman, whom I had never met before, proceeded to tell me that I was wrong and if you don't pull back on the foreskin then it can completely close up. Apparently she had a friend that had to get a circumcision as an adult for this reason, or some bs like that.

 

Am I off base? I know I read that retraction is unnecessary and possibly painful at this age, but the doctor I took him to down here tried to retract his foreskin, and now this daycare worker was trying. If I'm correct, how do I keep these uneducated women from sexually assaulting my son while I'm at work? And if I switch daycares, how do I know this isn't going to happen again? I'm frustrated and pissed off.

 

Does anyone have a link to some good medical research on this, or some other reliable source that I can print out and show them?


Nearly crunchy mama to one DS born at home 12/09 and married to my best friend one week later signcirc1.gif

Mama2Dane is offline  
#2 of 8 Old 02-06-2013, 04:21 PM
 
jgallagher66's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: State of confusion
Posts: 154
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am actually speechless. I agree that this is very serious. At the very least, I would speak to the head of daycare. This is so completely inappropriate that I don't know exactly how to respond.

Here are some links with the information you requested.

www.doctorsopposingcircumcision.org/info/physiciansguide.html

www.cirp.org/library/normal/

I am really horrified not only that this woman did something that could be extremely painful and harmful to a child but yhen lectured the child's mother about it when corrected by the mother. She is lucky she did not do this to my child.

I hope your son is okay and that everything works out.
jgallagher66 is offline  
#3 of 8 Old 02-06-2013, 05:25 PM
 
jmarroq's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 303
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 7 Post(s)

With more and more boys not being circumcised, the department of health or someone really needs to start educating doctors and other people who will be caring for these children.

 

I volunteered at a day care where my daughter went, and the workers were told to retract the foreskin to clean the penis EVERY time they changed the diaper...even when poop wasn't an issue.

 

It should be part of mandatory training for all day care employees to learn how to care for intact boys. I believe in my state that you HAVE to take courses in order to work in a day care, so that would be the perfect way to get the word out...put it in the text and on the exams.

 

Please contact your local politiicians, or if it is a federal thing, contact the appropriate agencies and let them know what is going on with your sons in day care and at the doctors. In the mean time, could you just politely talk to the day care director and ANYONE who may be working or filling in in that room? Perhaps suggest posting a sign by the changing table, etc. Be prepared with research, etc. when you approach them. It would be best if the research or statements came from government agencies and well known medical journals.

jmarroq is offline  
#4 of 8 Old 02-06-2013, 05:55 PM
 
JollyGG's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 1,652
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)

The first thing I'd like to do is assure you that your son is likely going to be just fine.

No, he should not have been retracted and you'll see lots of people here listing all the reason why. And I know that it makes you start to worry that the retraction that happened before you were aware of it caused any damage.

 

I also went to pick up my son from the sitter one day and she wanted to show me something in his diaper. She was pointing out some white specs under his forskin and telling me how he cries whenever she retracts making her wonder if he had an infection. I told her he was crying because he shouldn't be retracted and that while I didn't know what the white spots were I wasn't worried about it. Please don't retract my son.

 

She told me that she was just following the instructions of a former daycare parent who had blamed her for the boy needing a circumsision because she hadn't been retracting and cleaning.

 

I let her know that I did not want him retracted and as far as I'm aware she never did so again.

 

My son is now 9 and doesn't report any problems.

 

This was a home daycare so I only had one person to educate. If this is a center you might want to suggest to the director that some education occur staff wide. A sign like this - intact-care.jpg should be over all changing stations.


Mom to DS 4/24/03 and DD 4/17/06
JollyGG is offline  
#5 of 8 Old 02-06-2013, 06:01 PM
 
BostonGirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

First of all, "sexually assaulting" is not what's happening here. Please don't throw around terms like that. This DC worker is wrong, and she was very, very incorrect in arguing with you, but I highly doubt she's a child molester or sexually assaulting ANY child.  I'm a professional in the medical field and and a mother now too, but as a single college-aged woman, I partially worked my way through my undergrad as a daycare worker. I would have NEVER argued with a mother of a child in my class, but this is certainly an education issue on her part. You're 100% correct - the foreskin should never be pulled back on a diaper change, unless there's been a huge BM blowout, from front to back. My son is circumcised because we chose that for religious reasons, but my nephew is not circumcised. I learned about how to properly care for an intact baby boy when my nephew was born, years before I had my child. When I worked in daycare in college, I always pulled back the foreskin, simply because I thought I needed to to ensure cleanliness. 

 

My recommendation is to go directly to the owner/director of the daycare. As a daycare worker myself (about 20 years ago in Texas), we didn't have to have anything but a health card and background check. No training at all. I doubt much has changed.  And GOOD FOR YOU for being so concerned and pro-active. I find so many fellow parents around me who aren't. I'm new here and have read wonderful things just tonight.  Good luck! 

BostonGirl is offline  
#6 of 8 Old 02-06-2013, 07:37 PM
 
jgallagher66's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: State of confusion
Posts: 154
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
There is never a reason to retract. No one should be retracting his foreskin but him. Even if he has a huge bm blowout. Please check out links and if you need an intact friendly doctor check out

thewholenetwork.org/intact-friendly-doctors.html
jgallagher66 is offline  
#7 of 8 Old 02-06-2013, 07:49 PM
 
Mitchell756's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 48
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I have heard of this occurring too many times to be surprised by it. This link provides an excellent overview of forcible retraction. http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcision.org/info/info-forcedretraction.html

Mitchell756 is offline  
#8 of 8 Old 02-06-2013, 09:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
Mama2Dane's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Florida!
Posts: 483
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Thank you ladies Very much for your stories and links to resources! I have some bad anxiety about taking him back there tomorrow, but at least I'm armed with information to back up how I want my son cared for. I'm actually lucky she wanted to change my son in front of me. If she hadn't, I may have never known that this was happening. He's only been in daycare a few weeks now.

 

BostonGirl - Saying "sexually assaulting" was too harsh, and I apologize for offending you. I was angry and semi-irrational when I wrote my earlier post and didn't choose my phrasing correctly.
 


Nearly crunchy mama to one DS born at home 12/09 and married to my best friend one week later signcirc1.gif

Mama2Dane is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off