Do I need to pre-warm doctor - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 13 Old 05-13-2013, 12:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Pre-Warn, I mean. After reading about foreskin being forcibily retracted, I wondered if, after my sons' birth I need to just take them to the doctor for check ups and explicitly tell him not to touch their penises or typically do doctors already know that and would be insulted? I have a daughter and it's always been, open diaper, peek quickly for yeasty diaper rash or something and close it back up when she was little. Now I'm wondering with expecting boys, if I need to say something first.

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#2 of 13 Old 05-13-2013, 01:38 PM
 
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I think that it is okay to verbalize it to your doctor for visits. I too have read so many stories on here about doctors retracting  and I think it will not hurt your doctor's feelings or anything. She will just say"Oh I know" or "okay" If he/she were to get offended or give you a hard time then you at least know to search for an intact friendly doctor right?

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#3 of 13 Old 05-13-2013, 02:10 PM
 
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I would say yes!  I was lucky that I had a doctor that knew not to do that, but I have heard too many horror stories where the doctor did things so quickly that there wasn't time to discuss after the diaper was already open. 


 
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#4 of 13 Old 05-13-2013, 03:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you! I'll just say something, then.
 

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#5 of 13 Old 05-13-2013, 07:37 PM
 
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I must be brief...

 

I've read stories of doctors/nurses/whatever saying, "oh, I won't retract it," as they're pulling the foreskin back.  Seems they have a different definition of retraction.  You may want to bring to discuss & leave w/ the med pros the AAPs old statement on not retracting.  Not sure it's still available online.  If not, maybe NOCIRC or TheWHOLENetwork will have something you can give to them.

 

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Sus


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#6 of 13 Old 05-14-2013, 08:22 AM
 
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Do you guys think I could ask a doctor not to remove the diaper? Would that be totally weird and concerning to them? I think that's what it will take for me to feel comfortable.

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#7 of 13 Old 05-14-2013, 08:49 AM
 
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Originally Posted by CLplus1 View Post

Do you guys think I could ask a doctor not to remove the diaper? Would that be totally weird and concerning to them? I think that's what it will take for me to feel comfortable.

I've read that some families have a hands-off policy but have told the med-pro that they can look & the parent will be the one to do the touching.  So, if they need to see under the penis, the parent will lift it.  

 

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#8 of 13 Old 05-15-2013, 06:47 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mama24-7 View Post

I've read that some families have a hands-off policy but have told the med-pro that they can look & the parent will be the one to do the touching.  So, if they need to see under the penis, the parent will lift it.  

 

Sus

That's a really good idea, I hadn't considered doing that.

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#9 of 13 Old 03-09-2014, 09:33 AM
 
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I always mention that my son is intact and expect it to be a hands off examine unless they discuss a reason for additional needs. (There is a testicle check that for instance is a good thing to do)
I politely explain that everyone has a different understanding of what "retraction" means. It also can be helpful to "blame" your caution on some "other doctor in the past" as silly as this is it help validate your worry in their eyes while not blamin them and giving them the benefit of the doubt without risking your sons health.
I had a great doctor when they were infants agree to never retract and then go "pull back just enough to see" I was so shocked and actually grabbed her wrist. We talked and she really did think what she did was ok. She remained my doctor for years and learned a ton about proper foreskin care from us, she cared, she just didn't know. Or more importantly, she thought she knew!

partners.gif 2twins.gif  So what if I don't fit cleanly into a defined parenting style, my kids don't fit into a personality archetype either!

 
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#10 of 13 Old 03-09-2014, 10:17 AM
 
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I think a pedi would be very concerned if you told them you wouldn't take off the diaper. Like, maybe up to the point of calling DCF. I think there's a lot of better suggestions here for you keeping safe control of the situation.
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#11 of 13 Old 03-12-2014, 09:46 PM
 
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I felt confident enough to stop it in the moment not to talk about it beforehand.

 

A doctor in our hospital really did just check out the foreskin just to see. She didn't retract, or put any pressure on fused tissue, just checked out the penis and the visible urethral opening. I could definitely see some moms getting all up in her grill for going there, but I'm just not like that. I'd have stopped her if she'd started to stretch the foreskin off the glans.

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#12 of 13 Old 03-18-2014, 09:28 PM
 
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I thought I would be aware enough to stop a retraction but it happened so fast my son was totally retracted before I could tell the doctor to stop. I felt so bad. I simply forgot in the process that it was even a possibility.
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#13 of 13 Old 03-18-2014, 09:38 PM
 
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yeah i thought i knew my doc, had said something casual to her and she seemed to totally understand and then still started to do it, i had to grab her has really fast, everyone got very startled. being clearer and not leaving things up to interpretation would have been so much better and from then on it was, since we have moved a few times and been in the military they have seen a handful of doctors, it has bee good ever since, but that that is because I'm clear and proactive from the get go now


partners.gif 2twins.gif  So what if I don't fit cleanly into a defined parenting style, my kids don't fit into a personality archetype either!

 
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