Needing guidance/support, 7 year old intact son - Mothering Forums

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Old 08-21-2014, 07:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Needing guidance/support, 7 year old intact son

My son has had little problems. We had some swelling and a yeast infection around 1 year. I treated with a probiotic paste directly to the foreskin and it resolved with no problem. He was nursed until 3 years. He just turned 7, he retracts very little. We discuss cleaning which amounts to retracting as much as is comfortable in a bath or shower, no soap etc. Our pediatrician at around 6 months told me his foreskin is tight. I doubt he had much exp with intact males and I made sure he did not retract him (thank you Mothering for that info!).
My question is: Is there any truth to a tight foreskin? When should he start to retract more? It has not changed at all in the last 2 years. But having no exp with this, nor does my husband (he is not intact) I can't help but worry.

Thanks in advance!

Kim
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Old 08-21-2014, 08:17 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Kiddoson View Post
My son has had little problems. We had some swelling and a yeast infection around 1 year. I treated with a probiotic paste directly to the foreskin and it resolved with no problem. He was nursed until 3 years. He just turned 7, he retracts very little. We discuss cleaning which amounts to retracting as much as is comfortable in a bath or shower, no soap etc. Our pediatrician at around 6 months told me his foreskin is tight. I doubt he had much exp with intact males and I made sure he did not retract him (thank you Mothering for that info!).
My question is: Is there any truth to a tight foreskin? When should he start to retract more? It has not changed at all in the last 2 years. But having no exp with this, nor does my husband (he is not intact) I can't help but worry.

Thanks in advance!

Kim
The short answer is "NO", your son is perfectly normal. According to a study from Denmark (I believe), in intact cultures where the foreskins of children are not messed with, the average age of retraction is 10 1/2, with many not achieving retractability until after puberty. A very few men live their whole life quite happily with a foreskin that never retracts. It is only a problem if it causes issues such as painful erections. Foreskins are self cleaning like girl's vaginas - they get flushed out with urine, which is sterile until exiting the body, at each urination.

For your own peace of mind you might be interested in: www.cirp.org/library/normal also http://www.drmomma.org/2010/01/commo...ng-normal.html . Both websites have extensive information on all topics related to circumcision/intactness.

Yeast infections are not uncommon and, contrary to what many doctors will tell you, can and are acquired by circumcised males also. It sounds like you handled that perfectly.

Also, for the future, should your son have issues with a tight foreskin (later on) there are many ways to treat it that do not result in amputation, but preserve the foreskin. See: www.cirp.org/library/treatment/phimosis and www.biomedcentral.com/1471-2490/8/6 .

Kudos to you for keeping your son intact!!
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Old 08-24-2014, 08:49 AM
 
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My almost 9 year old still does not retract, no big deal. My 10 year old retracted by age 3, also no big deal. Everyone is different.

Once they get old enough to have hormones and be interested in their genitals, all the "playing" helps it loosen naturally.

DS1 2004 ~ DS2 2005 ~ DD1 2008 ~ DS3 2010 ~ DD2 born at 31 weeks Oct. 2014
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Old 08-24-2014, 06:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you both for the reply.
The links were very helpful hakunangovi, and I now know what it will look like like once he is grown! A little sad I didn't already But very helpful!
Galatea - thanks for your input, good to know. I guess I knew that but with no experience it's hard.
Love mothering.com! You all are awesome!
Thanks again
Kim
DD - 14, DS 7
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Old 08-30-2014, 04:41 AM
 
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Retraction is only for sex. If by 18 he hasn't retracted he can get a steroid cream and stretch things. He doesn't need to be rinsing off like that in the shower before puberty either, unless he wants to or produces a lot of smegma and wants to wash it off. Smegma isn't dirty though.
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Old 08-30-2014, 04:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Joandsarah77, thanks for your reply, that makes sense! Why didn't I realize that? lol

Kim
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Old 08-30-2014, 09:22 PM
 
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I think in the US in particular (I am not American so sorry if this is a generalization of your country) there is a lot of misinformation spread around about intact penis's and what is normal for children. I gather this from what I read online and what i have seen other mothers post. Many people seem to be interested in when it will retract including DR's, who should not be manipulating children's foreskins. It's like they all have a need to see it retract by a certain age. Far cleaner if it doesn't retract, I've heard stories of little boys storing dinner peas and sticks up there lol.
In case it wasn't said, baking soda in the bath with some coconut oil applied after will ease any soreness. It's normal for that to happen as the skin detaches, but it's also normal for the foreskin to get tighter and looser as it can grow at a different rate than the penis. My son has never had anything but a little bit of redness on the end when he wore nappies (diapers) But soreness on separation is common. He will be 10 soon and as as far as I know he can't retract at all.
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Old 08-31-2014, 02:24 AM
 
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hi, you have a lot of great advice so far, but i just wanted to say - i am from the uk where most boys & men are intact and one of my past partners had a so-called "tight foreskin". sex was a bit painful for him at first but the problem went away by itself, i guess the skin stretched! so even in cases where the foreskin doesn't get retracted, even after puberty, any issues having a normal sex life are not necessarily really problematic and require treatment. your son is normal and will be totally fine!
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