Hi everyone,
We just had our 2nd appointment here at UVA with a doctor who was recommended by several local moms for Urology related medical problems.
First appointment was in October. Doc didn't try to retract, but sort of gently looked and confirmed that my son's foreskin is VERY tight. My son himself has tried to pull it back before and can't at all. There's only a tiny hole where pee comes out. He's never had any infections whatsoever and is a healthy child.
Doc recommended steroid cream 3x day and to meet again in a month which was on Monday.
Before steroid cream my son sometimes complained that it would hurt to pee. Not inside his body, but on the tip of his penis and it would sometimes be a bit red. We would use coconut oil and/or gentle salves and it would be okay again after a day of use. It would sometimes balloon and pee would spray everywhere. He has to sit and hold his penis down to NOT pee everywhere, but that has been resolved now after the month of steroid cream.
Doc now was adamant about circing my son. He wouldn't even explain other options to me. I asked about dorsal slit procedure or other options. Doc responds: "It's contraindicated in this case, because when he's a teenager he will not like to look differently in the locker room so we might as well do the full thing now and save him to have to go under a second time." Really?!
I stayed calm, but inside I was furious. My son's bio dad (we split in 2009) was there, too, and he readily and vehemently took the doc's side saying that "all my female friends make fun and talk badly about intact penises and that they just look wrong" and that "I don't want him (our son) to experience that". Really?! He also stated "I'm a man and I don't remember my circumcision, but I'm glad my mom did that." He had back then agreed to not circ our son - the whole "his body, his choice" made sense to him back then.
I'm at a loss of what to do. I understand that IF there's a real medical problem, circumcision may be indicated. I want to know more though before I can comfortably make a decision on my end and convey my stance. This doc lost all credibility with his statement of "looks".
They scheduled the circumcision for December 18th, BUT my ex and I need to agree on medical procedures or they don't happen (as per custody order - I also have full physical custody by the way, but the medical part is separate in there).
Please, if you have any advice to give, anecdotes to share, words of support, I'd be so grateful. Thank you!
We just had our 2nd appointment here at UVA with a doctor who was recommended by several local moms for Urology related medical problems.
First appointment was in October. Doc didn't try to retract, but sort of gently looked and confirmed that my son's foreskin is VERY tight. My son himself has tried to pull it back before and can't at all. There's only a tiny hole where pee comes out. He's never had any infections whatsoever and is a healthy child.
Doc recommended steroid cream 3x day and to meet again in a month which was on Monday.
Before steroid cream my son sometimes complained that it would hurt to pee. Not inside his body, but on the tip of his penis and it would sometimes be a bit red. We would use coconut oil and/or gentle salves and it would be okay again after a day of use. It would sometimes balloon and pee would spray everywhere. He has to sit and hold his penis down to NOT pee everywhere, but that has been resolved now after the month of steroid cream.
Doc now was adamant about circing my son. He wouldn't even explain other options to me. I asked about dorsal slit procedure or other options. Doc responds: "It's contraindicated in this case, because when he's a teenager he will not like to look differently in the locker room so we might as well do the full thing now and save him to have to go under a second time." Really?!
I stayed calm, but inside I was furious. My son's bio dad (we split in 2009) was there, too, and he readily and vehemently took the doc's side saying that "all my female friends make fun and talk badly about intact penises and that they just look wrong" and that "I don't want him (our son) to experience that". Really?! He also stated "I'm a man and I don't remember my circumcision, but I'm glad my mom did that." He had back then agreed to not circ our son - the whole "his body, his choice" made sense to him back then.
I'm at a loss of what to do. I understand that IF there's a real medical problem, circumcision may be indicated. I want to know more though before I can comfortably make a decision on my end and convey my stance. This doc lost all credibility with his statement of "looks".
They scheduled the circumcision for December 18th, BUT my ex and I need to agree on medical procedures or they don't happen (as per custody order - I also have full physical custody by the way, but the medical part is separate in there).
Please, if you have any advice to give, anecdotes to share, words of support, I'd be so grateful. Thank you!