Mothering Forum banner

bullies

1K views 8 replies 6 participants last post by  Judy Arnall 
#1 ·
How to know if your child is a bully?
How to deal with one if he is6
 
#4 ·
Dear Kamisan13

If a child is 6, I am pretty sure he is not a bully. Maybe he has leadership behaviours that border on bossiness, but he is 6! Children that age need a lot of practice toning it down so that he leads rather than bosses. He has many years ahead in order to do that. May I ask what kinds of things he does that makes you wonder about bullying?

Warmest regards,
Judy
 
#5 ·
How to Know if Your Child is a Bully

This is an interesting question. Bullying is different from childhood conflict because it has unique characteristics:

1. Bullying is targeted. Conflict occurs with anyone.
2. Bullying is repetitive. Conflict tends to be resolved.
3. Bullying is not compassionate, emotional or empathetic. Conflict stirs up anger, frustration and annoyance of both parties.

When children fight over conflicts, it is normal. Both kids are emotionally charged. A resolution usually stops it. If you see your child targeting one person, and repeating their wrath with no emotion, then warning signs should not be ignored. Find out why your child is picking on that person and what the payoff is. Children who bully need adult help in understanding why they do it, why it is wrong, and what to do instead. They absolutely need an adult to address it before the behaviour continues as they get older and consequences can be steeper. And it can show up at home with siblings or in school with peers.

Best wishes,
Judy Arnall, BA, CCFE, DTM
 
#7 ·
not true

My son was bullied in JK, the kid was smaller and younger than him, but he picked on all of the kids he probably thought were the weakest (girls) and when he got resistance he moved on, my son was too accommodating. He even got a buddy to attack my son when he wasn't around (slammed him against a wall with no provocation). It went on for the whole school year if not two and included stealing his food and harassing him (silently so the teacher wouldn't notice) and relentlessly all day long. I don't know how you know your kid is the bully, but if a teacher brings up issues or a parent it's worth considering what role they are playing. I thought if we brefriended the bully he would stop but nope it might even have made things worse.
 
#9 ·
My son was bullied in JK, the kid was smaller and younger than him, but he picked on all of the kids he probably thought were the weakest (girls) and when he got resistance he moved on, my son was too accommodating. He even got a buddy to attack my son when he wasn't around (slammed him against a wall with no provocation). It went on for the whole school year if not two and included stealing his food and harassing him (silently so the teacher wouldn't notice) and relentlessly all day long. I don't know how you know your kid is the bully, but if a teacher brings up issues or a parent it's worth considering what role they are playing. I thought if we brefriended the bully he would stop but nope it might even have made things worse.
Sorry to hear about your son. Bullying is a huge issue and it takes the whole community to combat. Teachers, parents, other kids must take a stand.

Warmly, Judy
 
#8 ·
and it's precisely that attitude

That bullies are just kids taking charge that enables them.

https://www.education.com/reference/article/kindergarten-bullying/

This article states that victims don't have friends but my son did and would have but the bully started attacking him from the FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL. And ever on from that point my son became a target. And because my son was bigger and more physical, grabbing, embracing, touching, people just made assumptions that he was the aggressor.
 
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top