just turned 3 and still poops in diaper - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 19 Old 04-13-2013, 05:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
Snapdragon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,623
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)

I am having a hard time potty training my three year old regarding poop! He is pretty good with peeing- he could be in underwear all day and tell me when he needs to pee in the potty and make it there in time and all (though his aim is imperfect!). But he almost never poops in the potty still! He will either be in a diaper or ask for a diaper. sometimes occasionally he will try to sit on the toilet or potty and poop but usually not even that.

Some of his grandparents are starting to give us crap about it- subtly- like, he really should be out of diapers at this point!

 

I never thought my three year old would still be pooping in diapers. He is just one month into being three. I am no sure what more to do. We have read a million potty books, offered rewards, sat patiently while he occasionally tries- I guess the only thing I could do is if he asks for a diaper to poop I could refuse and then he would poop on the floor but I feel that that is both harsh and messy.

 

How do I make the transition for him to poop in the potty? He is so smart and understands so much about everything and has great communication sills and all that- but he wont poop in the potty.

 

Is his age appropriate or are we getting pretty late in the game here?

I am at a loss for what to do. Usually I just am patient with it until I ge a comment here and there then I start to doubt my approach.

Snapdragon is online now  
#2 of 19 Old 04-13-2013, 06:15 PM
 
lilbsmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: in the beautiful foothills of NC
Posts: 596
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

honestly? Wait. Both of my older boys have done this so far. It just takes them a little longer to feel comfortable doing it. There is no reason for your family to make comments about it, because it's none of their business. He will do it when he is ready, and it's better to let it happen that way instead of forcing it. 


None of the ideas expressed above are actually mine. They are told to me by Luthor and Ferdinand, the five inch tall space aliens who live under my desk. In return for these ideas, I have given them permission to eat any dust bunnies they may find under there.shine.gif

lilbsmama is offline  
#3 of 19 Old 04-13-2013, 06:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
Snapdragon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,623
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)

thanks! As a first time mom I was unsure. that is my gut feeling- just wait. tonight ds was visiting with one of his grandpas for his weekly visit (dh's dad) and he pooped in a diaper so dh's dad changed him- and ds seems to poop most times on his visit with that grandpa! So he does have to change his poopy diaper so I did feel the comment was appropriate. should I expect ds will just figure it out eventually? He starts preschool (very part time) in the fall so it would be very good to have it sorted by then- is there an age they just shift into doing it?

I am encouraged that he is pretty good at peeing in the potty now so he has made a lot of progress in potty training from where he was a few months ago.

Snapdragon is online now  
#4 of 19 Old 04-13-2013, 06:34 PM
 
Springshowers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,579
Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 23 Post(s)
Maybe a small potty on the floor would be easier for him? I had to try a couple before I found one my daughter loved.
Springshowers is online now  
#5 of 19 Old 04-13-2013, 06:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
Snapdragon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,623
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)

yeah we have a little  potty on the floor. We actually went through a few also till we found one he likes! We also have obviously the regular toilet and two options of potty seats to put on the toilet. He pees in the little potty but still won't poop in it. In his whole life he has pooped in the potty a few times- like two or three times, in the little potty- but not in a while.

Snapdragon is online now  
#6 of 19 Old 04-13-2013, 07:40 PM
 
mamabear0314's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,260
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)

My oldest took a year to poo in the potty after pee training overnight. I was so frustrated but one day he just did it!


Single, student mama slingboy.gif to 3 boys jumpers.gif 

 

homeschool.gif saynovax.gif signcirc1.gif bfinfant.gif femalesling.GIF familybed2.gif h20homebirth.gif 

mamabear0314 is offline  
#7 of 19 Old 04-13-2013, 08:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
Snapdragon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,623
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)

Is just-turned-three within an average age to still be doing this? :) I assume it is but I had always thought for sure my kid would be fully potty trained by three!!! I would rather continue to be mellow about it as long as I feel that we are not doing ds a disservice by allowing him to go at his own pace with this. what do you al think? not that I have any plans of how I would get him to move along with it faster- just trying to reassure myself that this is all okay!

Snapdragon is online now  
#8 of 19 Old 04-13-2013, 08:41 PM
 
dalia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,982
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
It sounds very normal. Some kids learn sooner than others but your DS is still normal. :-)

Wife to one amazing husband superhero.gif, SAHM to DS bouncy.gif 10/09, DS babyboy.gif 10/19,  one furbaby dog2.gif, and lots of chicken3.gif!

 
joy.gif

dalia is offline  
#9 of 19 Old 04-13-2013, 08:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
Snapdragon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,623
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)

Can anyone share any tips on how to gently coax him to start pooping in the potty? If I want to move it along what do I even do?  He tells me and dh when he has to poop and we offer the potty or occasionally plop him on the potty and he may try on it for a minute but then cant relax enough to do it. Any tips on how to encourage him?

I know if he is on the big toilet he wants something to rest his feet on- we don't have a great stool that helps him reach his feet- we only have a step stool which is too low. Then on the little potty he just cant quite relax into it either-

Snapdragon is online now  
#10 of 19 Old 04-14-2013, 05:07 AM
 
skycheattraffic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,699
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
One method I read about is to get the potty to be part of the poop experience then slowly wean off the diapers. I haven't had this issue as my DD is pretty much 100% consistent with pooing on the potty but pee is our major downfall. Anyways I'll outline the plan and you can see if it resonates with you.

1) get him in underwear all the time but allow him to ask for a diaper to poop in. This encourages his awareness without forcing him to poop outside his diaper all at once. It will also reinforce his pee training so he can't "get lazy" and start peeing in the diaper again.
2) when he needs to poop, gently get him to do it near the potty and work on doing this consistently every time. Whether it's in the bathroom or simply a more quiet/private part of the house doesn't really matter as long as its where the potty consistently is.
3) work on getting him to sit on the potty with his diaper on and pooping. This may take a while but hopefully the familiarity of his diaper on his bum will help him relax enough to poop.
4) finally when he is relaxed enough to consistently poop while sitting on the potty in his diaper, gently start taking the diaper away. How you take the diaper away is up to you. You can make it looser and looser then simply leave it unfastened, then slowly pull it out towards the front so less and less diaper is between his skin and the potty with each poop. If you use sposies, you could also cut holes of increasing size in the back of the diaper so eventually the poo will simply fall through and there wont be enough diaper left to fasten anyway.

One additional pointer I read said to introduce a belt as some kids miss the snugness of a diaper around their waist and can't relax without it at first.

This is a very gradual process and shouldn't shock him into being afraid or anything. It's a way to guide/nudge him in the direction you would like but with many opportunities to slow down or even go back a little if you see him struggle.

As I said I haven't had to use it myself but it resonated with me and would be the method I'd try if needed. I hope this gives you some ideas and best of luck!
skycheattraffic is offline  
#11 of 19 Old 04-14-2013, 06:32 AM
 
ThreeTwoFive's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 187
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Is he alone in the bathroom when he needs to poop?  My DS wants privacy for pooping.  Try closing the door.

It also helps if everyone in the family explains loudly, "I feel like I need to poop, so I'm going to the potty."  Repeat 1000 times.

Can you ditch the diapers entirely and take a few days to follow him around?  He's gotta go eventually, and it won't take him long to figure out that using the potty is a heck of a lot more convenient than the alternatives.

And focus on the good things that he's doing, like telling you he needs to poop.  That's fabulous.

We started training around 33 months, and now at 42 months he's close to perfect (maybe one accident every 2-3 weeks).  You'll get there.

ThreeTwoFive is offline  
#12 of 19 Old 04-14-2013, 06:51 AM - Thread Starter
 
Snapdragon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,623
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)

thanks for the suggestions- I have sort of tried both of those methods at times- yes he does like to poop alone I could try to give him more privacy rather than watching him!

HE knows about dh and I's bathroom habits as he tends to follow us into the bathroom every day(despite our mild protests lol)

 

I was gonna try the three day potty training thing- I follow him around all day anyway- but somehow it didn't work for us. I mean I couldn't get behind it. I think gentle slow is a better approach I guess--

Snapdragon is online now  
#13 of 19 Old 04-17-2013, 02:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
Snapdragon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,623
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)

he pooped in the potty today! so proud lol. Just now with dh assisting him upstairs and me downstairs. He got a new train set recently which he loves, and he came down and asked to bring up his trains to the upstairs potty so he could poop- and he played w- his trains I guess and pooped in the potty! He has only ever done that two times before and it has been months so I am hoping this is  new thing he will continue to do-!

Snapdragon is online now  
#14 of 19 Old 04-17-2013, 04:14 PM
 
dalia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,982
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Yay!!!!
Snapdragon likes this.

Wife to one amazing husband superhero.gif, SAHM to DS bouncy.gif 10/09, DS babyboy.gif 10/19,  one furbaby dog2.gif, and lots of chicken3.gif!

 
joy.gif

dalia is offline  
#15 of 19 Old 04-22-2013, 04:16 PM
 
~adorkable~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: State Of Bliss
Posts: 4,418
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

here is a episode on poop from my absolutely favorite potty expert

 

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/ohcrap/2013/02/12/the-drama-of-the-poop


partners.gif 2twins.gif  So what if I don't fit cleanly into a defined parenting style, my kids don't fit into a personality archetype either!

 
~adorkable~ is offline  
#16 of 19 Old 04-25-2013, 08:41 PM
 
luckymamaoftwo's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: A beautiful place
Posts: 171
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Wow, your son sounds just like mine and same ages! I'm loving these suggestions.
luckymamaoftwo is offline  
#17 of 19 Old 04-25-2013, 08:45 PM
 
MyLilPwny's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: California
Posts: 821
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My daughter didn't get out of diapers until 3 years and 3 months

Traditional & nutrient-dense foods/Weston A. Price Foundation advocate, Reiki II practitioner, EFT practitioner, past life & life between lives Hypnotherapist practitioner. Home birth with DD 2007 = never vaccinated, breastfed 3 years

MyLilPwny is offline  
#18 of 19 Old 04-26-2013, 10:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
Snapdragon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,623
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)

well I am seeing a little progress! He has done it about 2 or 3 more times in the potty since that first time- and a number of still diapers ones, but he is starting to get it more-!

dalia likes this.
Snapdragon is online now  
#19 of 19 Old 06-20-2013, 02:02 PM
 
RRMum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 119
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Congrats on the Progress!  I'm in the same boat and happy to have found these suggestions.  Doing the 3 (well four) day thing right now, with the option to put on a diaper for poop.  He is and has been (for a few weeks doing great with pee - goes by himself sometimes too, then just tell's us he is done.  I am working to make trying to poop fun, with books and songs and just general happy vibes, but no poop yet.  


Aug 2009;  DS1 Sep 2010; Dec 2012; Dec 2013; May 2014
RRMum is offline  
Reply

Tags
Toddler

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off