Just let her poop in her undies? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 8 Old 10-20-2013, 03:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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DD2 will be 3 in a few weeks.  She shows no interest in potty learning.  She can hold pee for a very long time, so we can have her in undies all day on a weekend day, and have no pee accidents.  We just make sure to put her on the toilet frequently.  She can also hold poop for a very long time, but come late afternoon/evening, she'll slip off for just a few minutes, and poop in her undies.  To avoid this, we'd literally have to have her within arm's reach at all times.  She has pooped one gum-ball sized poop on the potty, and that's it.  Over the past few weeks of wearing undies on weekends and some evenings, she's had one pee accident, and pooped in her undies 6 or 7 times.

 

I go back and forth on what approach to take with her on potty learning.  Let her decide when she's ready?  She doesn't seem to care AT ALL, and I don't think DH and I can wait it out.  Go cold turkey and do undies all the time?  There could be a poop accident every day!  Follow her around all day and make her sit on the potty every 15 min?  I might faint!  

 

We have a big 5mo old (20 lbs) and DH threw away all of the medium sized wraps once DD2 moved on to larges, because the velcro was trashed.  We have the thirsties size 2 snappy ones, however, and they would fit DD3 - IF ONLY WE COULD GET DD2 OUT OF THEM.

 

What to do?

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#2 of 8 Old 10-21-2013, 06:50 AM
 
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I have to say that teaching kids to use the potty is not my strong point. Only one of mine was resistant, and I gave up and just put her back in diapers until she was ready. But I will bump this to draw attention to it and hopefully you'll get some more responses.
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#3 of 8 Old 10-28-2013, 12:49 PM
 
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I'm no expert, mine is younger and we are behind yours in this process. For what it's worth I would do the cold turkey go into undies thing. One poop accident a day really isn't so bad if you're already use to cloth! I feel she'll catch on sooner than later.

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#4 of 8 Old 11-01-2013, 02:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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OH MY!  Just got word from daycare that she pooped in her undies and played in it!  I really don't know how to address this.  She does not respond to scolding or serious talks - she thinks everything is funny.  If she does get serious, it's very short lived, as it likely is for most 3 year olds.

 

I don't know where to go from here.  She did have one actual poop on the potty after holding it in for 3 days.  Otherwise it's fewer than 5 pee accidents, and tons and tons of poop in the undies.  Now this!

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#5 of 8 Old 11-01-2013, 02:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Gooseberry View Post
 

 She does not respond to scolding or serious talks - she thinks everything is funny.  If she does get serious, it's very short lived, as it likely is for most 3 year olds.

 

I guess I should say that she's a mess maker.  She scribbles on stuff (the walls too - I thought kids only did that in the movies), rips and breaks stuff, smears her food, dumps bath water on the floor, and thinks it's all hilarious.  So there's a broader issue here of how to get her to stop doing those things.  She goes to a wonderful play-based pre-school where she gets plenty of opportunities for tactile-kinesthetic experiences: paint, GIANT sandbox, clay, play-doh, sensory table, water table.  She still comes home and draws all over her sister's drawings and writing, smashes cupcakes to bits, and makes other messes that we were completely unable to anticipate.

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#6 of 8 Old 11-04-2013, 01:36 PM
 
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My 2 1/2 year old has been nearly accident-free peeing on the potty for months, but she poops in her undies nearly every day.  Sometimes twice!  In the morning, she talks like she will go on the potty, but then she goes off to hide to do the dirty work.  We watch her like a hawk (and they do at daycare, too), but she holds it until she has a moment to sneak away.  It's so exhausting!  We go back and forth with the whole thing and will revert to diapers for a couple of days, but that's a hassle, too.  And ultimately, she chooses undies in the morning.  We try not to make too big a deal because we don't want her to hold it in...but it's been months.  We're tired of it, and so are her daycare teachers.

 

I hope you figure something out and then share with us!  I wish I had some tips to offer, but this is just commiserating!

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#7 of 8 Old 11-04-2013, 03:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My 2 1/2 year old has been nearly accident-free peeing on the potty for months, but she poops in her undies nearly every day.  Sometimes twice!  In the morning, she talks like she will go on the potty, but then she goes off to hide to do the dirty work.  We watch her like a hawk (and they do at daycare, too), but she holds it until she has a moment to sneak away.  It's so exhausting!  We go back and forth with the whole thing and will revert to diapers for a couple of days, but that's a hassle, too.  And ultimately, she chooses undies in the morning.  We try not to make too big a deal because we don't want her to hold it in...but it's been months.  We're tired of it, and so are her daycare teachers.

 

I hope you figure something out and then share with us!  I wish I had some tips to offer, but this is just commiserating!

Yeah, we're in the same place.  She just finds a moment when no one is watching, and off she goes.  I'm quite sure that she'll be using the potty all the time soon, but it's these last days/weeks/months before that happens that are the most frustrating.  She chooses undies everyday, and so we'll just stick with that for now.

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#8 of 8 Old 11-06-2013, 04:31 AM
 
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Have you tried telling her to ask you for a diaper when she needs to poop? This way she will be in undies all day, there won't be the huge mess of sliding down poopy undies and she gets to be in charge. It sounds like she can tell when she needs to go and she may prefer to poop in a diaper vs undies. This also teaches that there are places where poop goes (potty, toilet, diaper) and places where it doesn't (anywhere else). My friend used this tactic with great success and one day her DD decided she wanted to poop in the potty and that was that. Good luck! We're on the other side: poop is perfect, pees are still missed almost every day
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