My daughter is almost 2 1/2 and I'm 6 months pregnant. We were visiting a friend today and she said this to my daughter when I mentioned that she has been totally uninterested in potty training. She said that she's known people who have had success with telling their kids this, and that the kid accepts using the potty as a part of what it means to become an older sibling. Any thoughts? I know that my daughter understands what the potty is for, and plenty of kids are physiologically capable of potty training at this age so I would imagine she is as well. She just doesn't care about it. But I've also heard that expecting the big one to "grow up" in some way when the little one is born can be a recipe for disaster.
Also, any other thoughts on motivating her? I'm thinking that encouraging her to use the potty like her older friends might be an option as well. I tried having the "Do you think Emily wears a diaper, or do you think she uses the potty?" conversation... she didn't really bite, but it might take several repetitions.
My SIL has used it on her youngest two daughters and they seem to have accepted this logic. I think a lot of times, if the ability is there, the grownups have to make the decision and stick to it or just let it go. I don't think you can casually toilet train a child (unless you want it to take forever and you're cool with pee all over your house). You're either in our you're out.
First of all, don't make it about someone else. Don't say something like, "You are not going to use diapers anymore because diapers are for babies and you're going to be a big sister." Keep it simple and focused, "You are going to wear underwear now, and you can pee pee and poo in the potty but not in your pants."
Second, take her out of the diaper (except perhaps at night). She will not care about using the potty as long as she has a diaper to pee in and someone to change it. It will mean busting out the Resolve a few times, but stick her right in underwear and set her on the toilet often. Yes, she will probably soak herself a few times. She needs to feel the wetness and and pee running down her leg to realize she doesn't like it.
When she pees on herself, don't scold her, but have her feel it with her hand so she understands she's wet. Have her remove her underwear herself as best she can and put on a new pair as best as she can. She needs to be in control of the process and realize that her bodily functions are no longer mama's job. Then calmly tell her to clean up the floor (and go behind her later to really clean it). Have her feel her new dry panties.
For my daughter, as long as she was in a diaper she would pee in it. The first time I put her in the CLOTH pull up pants, she stayed dry and peed in the toilet. She is 2 years and 2 months old. It seems funny, but I would praise her for just farting on the toilet because I knew that it meant she was making an attempt to push. Also, at that age they are usually capable but don't want to sit long enough. If necessary, let her sit on the toilet with a book. Encourage her to stay on but let her off if she starts getting upset.
For the average child her age, a few times is all it takes. Night training might be different depending on what kind of sleeper she is, but for my son (now 5) the same process worked for night. I day trained him but assumed he needed a night diaper. As long as he had it, he would pee in it. Finally I just put him in underwear and then the hard part, for a little while I would make myself or husband get him up in the night to go. Eventually we quit and he had no problems getting himself up to go, although he needed help to pull up his underwear. He was in a toddler bed so he could easily get in and out.
Both my girls took to daytime potty learning at the age of about 2 in prep for a new baby coming... I probably said something like "baby brother will need to wear the diapers now" but not often. Rather we just did the naked time until potty usage success was high.
Like "motheringforme" said, don't make it about someone else, just try to make it about your little one and dive right in to see how it is handled. Each kid is different and will react differently but in trying various things out you two will learn what works best for the both of you.