Tips for training a nearly 4 year old boy? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 04-22-2014, 04:03 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I've been taking the approach of helping/letting my son learn rather than teaching him, which in some ways has worked well so far, however, he is still not out of diapers and I really want him out by the end of the summer. We tried a bit of EC with him when he was a baby; once he got mobile, he didn't want to sit for that anymore and I didn't figure out an alternative, so here we are. He knows what a toilet is for. He often (but not always) tells me when his diaper needs changing, and sometimes tells me when he is eliminating but shows no interest in using the toilet and if I sit him on it he won't go. Not that I do it very often since he doesn't want to...

 

I work most days leaving at 1:30 and am gone until his bedtime. I'm thinking I'll take a vacation this summer to train him. Is 1 week enough or should it be two? Any tips for training a boy of this age? Most of what I find on the internet is geared for younger children. Any books or videos for him or me? Any way to tie potty learning in with his favorite interest which is trains? Thanks for reading.

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#2 of 8 Old 04-22-2014, 01:38 PM
 
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Have you tried just removing the diapers and having him wear underpants?  He'll have some accidents as he figures things out, but after a short while he'll get the picture.  I found using pull ups just prolonged the accident phase and just went to all out underwear. 

 

My boys were younger (a few months shy of three), but putting them into underwear at commence of potty-training time accelerated their skill building, so to speak, and they were totally dry daytime and nighttime, in a few weeks.


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#3 of 8 Old 04-23-2014, 03:14 AM - Thread Starter
 
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No I haven't. So basically just take the diapers away? Do you teach a boy to stand or sit at the toilet to urinate?  I'm a bit at a loss how to go about it because last time I tried Billy had NO interest...I can tolerate a few messes, but a whole lot, over many days and weeks, no. Not to mention my husband wouldn't put up with it.

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#4 of 8 Old 04-24-2014, 10:53 AM
 
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Taking away the diapers does work for some kids, but if he doesn't mind feeling wet- he won't mind wetting his pants. You can also start having him clean up his own messes (not as a punishment- it's a natural consequence, when you make a mess you clean it up). Help him to do so, at least until he's able to clean up himself, but that also might help him get the message that it's easier to just use the potty than have to clean up your messes. If your using cloth diapers, you can do it with that- have him rinse out the diaper/clean up any poopy ones (again: with help!) after each change.

 

Try to make the toilet fun. Have special books or toys, let him pick them out, that he can only play with/read (read it to him if he prefers) on the potty. I've seen parents have success with making a rule that you have to sit on the toilet for 10 minutes in the morning and 10 miutes before bedtime. Again- this is not a punishment, make it as fun as possible, and start small. Start with one minute, and work your way up as he gets more comfortable.

 

For standing vs sitting- go with what your kid prefers. I saw a few people try to potty train a boy sitting, only to realize that he really wanted to stand and as soon as that was allowed- it worked.

 

(also, if your husband won't put up with the messes- then let him do it and see how easy it is to stay clean! :P)

 

I've heard good things about "Oh crap potty training", it may be worth a look.


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#5 of 8 Old 04-25-2014, 07:05 AM - Thread Starter
 
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That book looks good, I  might get it. Thanks.

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#6 of 8 Old 05-03-2014, 10:35 PM
 
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I think u should take away the diaper. That's what I did with my son. I noticed he used to pee in the potty but only waits for his night diaper to poop. So I stopped and he is gradually catching on. He is 2.9yrs
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#7 of 8 Old 05-04-2014, 04:22 AM
 
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My ds did better with no underwear on. I didn't like the idea of nothing on, so I just put his soft cotton play shorts on without anything under them. It took two times of peeing down his leg, and he was pretty much done.
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#8 of 8 Old 05-19-2014, 03:26 PM
 
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My DS does best with nothing on from the waist down.  Can't be done all the time, obviously, but as he is one of those who isn't bothered by wet pants, and gets too busy with his play to take time out to "go", I've often resorted to just letting him go bare-bottomed when we're at home.  He does use the potty when he has nothing on to catch his accidents. 

This, BTW is how I finally managed to get him to poop on the potty.  I somehow sensed that he was ready for this lesson:  He was nearly 3.5, and was pretty consistent with peeing, standing up, into the potty.  At a moment when I knew he was going to have to go soon (he was prancing around in circles), I made sure he was wearing nothing on his bottom and just spent the next half-hour or so encouraging him to sit on the potty.  He tried every trick in the book to convince me to put his diapers or underpants on him, telling me things like he had to protect his bottom from the sun (this was indoors in the middle of the winter, LOL), but I just stuck to it, and he kept circling, then FINALLY came in for a landing.  It was a very emotional moment, but successful, and since then he's had no trouble doing number 2 on the potty. 

But he's regressed with the number 1.  *sigh*  Like I said, he just gets too caught up with his play (trains, of course) and I'm not after him enough.  One thing that's worked for me is to take a little plastic bucket to him and have him interrupt his play long enough to pee in there.  Not sure if this is the right thing to do, but it seems to help reduce the pant-wetting incidents.  I figure it helps him to learn to empty his bladder "on command" rather than letting it trickle out here, there and everywhere.  He seems to be getting better, but very very gradually.  I've tried so many things, I think this is just his way and I'll just have to be patient.

This has turned into a rather long post, and while I am by no means an authority on potty-learning, but I guess the point I'm trying to make is that every child is different.  Some are quick to learn when they get started, others are more gradual.  Use your intuition and find the techniques that work for you and your DS.  Sometimes one technique stops working and you have to find something else. 

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