OK, so it seems like most of the posts about older children not potty trained are about boys. Mine is my daughter, so I thought I'd start a post specific to her.
She will be 4 on 7/25, so about 2 months.
When she turned 2 I was pregnant with DS and she didn't seem interested so we didn't even try. I'm honestly not sure when she started showing a little interest/readiness, but I think it was after she was 3. So we started working on it, but with no pressure.
She's at the point where she knows when she needs to go, how to go, and will even randomly run to the potty and go.
But most of the time if you give her an option between big girl underwear and baby diapers, she will choose the diaper. She won't typically even tell us when she's wet or poopy, and we have to fight her to change her poopy diapers/underwear.
When we put her in underwear or leave her naked waist down she does pretty decent with going pee on the potty. She still has accidents, but not many. The problem is that my girl is really regular. Like she poops 4 or more times a day. And it's rare that she'll do that in the potty, even though she understands. We end up running out of underwear most weekends because she poops in them SO MUCH. We've tried the new 'special' underwear that she picked out, and the first few times she went in them she CRIED, I mean SOBBED about going in them. But then still did it, and eventually stopped getting upset about it.
I had the ped take a look at her diaper area to make sure we aren't dealing with some kind of yeast issue that maybe causes her discomfort. She said nada.
I want to add in that she has a severe speech delay. We had Early Intervention help with her after she was 2, we did private speech therapy, work really hard at home with her and even talked to her ped about it. Everyone says she's just stubborn and there's no red flags to watch for. (which I do agree - she's beyond stubborn) We are getting her into our local school system for extra help with her speech when the new school year starts in August, as the stuff we are doing at home has helped expand her vocabulary ten fold, but so much of it is still not understandable to anyone that doesn't talk with her daily, and we're out of ideas on how to help make it more clear (we've tried/practiced all the tricks the speech therapist gave us). I only mention the speech delay as I don't know if maybe it affects the potty training, or if there's some relation. We figured in the beginning it was part of the problem because she couldn't tell us, but now she can.
I get that it will happen in her time, but I'm really getting worried. We've already pretty much decided that we'll not start her in school next year, that we'll hold her back a year. I just don't know how she will possibly be ready a year from now when it seems like the potty training/speech issues are no where near being helped.
I'be tried rewards, I've let it go and tried again, we've done the naked thing, the switch straight to diapers (that didn't end well). We never force, but we offer regularly and more than half the time she tells us no. We try bribery (I know it's so bad and I swore I'd never do it, but I'm desparate here!!).
I love this little girl to death and I'm so worried that she's going to be an outcast because of these problems. It scares me knowing just how MEAN kids can be these days.
I just want to hear my little girl say something that everyone can understand, a full sentance. And I want to stop being embarressed when I get 'those' looks from other parents who think I'm doing something wrong and that's why my little girl isn't potty trained at almost 4. Kids her age already ask 'why that little girl is wearing diapers.'