potty training nightmare - Mothering Forums

 
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#1 of 6 Old 01-03-2015, 04:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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potty training nightmare

I have a 3 year old step-son. He lives with us full-time. Potty training has been an absolute nightmare. I'm ashamed of myself because I feel like I should already have him potty trained. I've read blogs, found tips and tricks everywhere. Nothing has worked. He refuses to use the toilet. I don't know what else to try.
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#2 of 6 Old 01-03-2015, 04:31 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mommymills View Post
I have a 3 year old step-son. He lives with us full-time. Potty training has been an absolute nightmare. I'm ashamed of myself because I feel like I should already have him potty trained. I've read blogs, found tips and tricks everywhere. Nothing has worked. He refuses to use the toilet. I don't know what else to try.
Don't feel ashamed that he's not using the potty yet. I remember feeling like I should be trying harder as my own son approached four.

Potty training is hellish. It's just awful. Potty training around the holidays is an extra nightmare, because routines are in shambles. What would happen if you gave it a rest for a few weeks, and came back to it in February?
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#3 of 6 Old 01-03-2015, 04:59 PM
 
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This may sound silly or gimmicky but have you seen the toddler urinals? My son is trained but so wanted a 'urinal' as he has seen them in men's restrooms when we go out and my husband takes him to the restroom.
Well we bought one on Amazon, flushing no less (!) and he loves the thing. Well long story short, I was reading the Amazon reviews and apparently many parents buy urinals for their son to help potty train and it often works very well and quickly, ha, who knew. It wasn't the reason I purchased it but apparently it can be a great tool.
Incidentally, my son loves his urinal so much that he wept as we refused to bring it into the family bed last night, so that he could sleep along side it.........oh...my life. I felt badly but had to draw the line.....
Well, regardless, it might be worth a try.
The flushing one is overpriced but that flushing does seem to be very inviting for boys.... Yet I read similar success stories with the non flushing types, the boys really seem to look forward to using them. It might be worth a try.
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#4 of 6 Old 01-04-2015, 09:32 PM
 
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Are you open to taking a break, or do you feel that you need to carry on? With my son i took away the diapers during his waking hours and he was so mad at first but it has been 10 days and he's now potty trained. We just left him naked from the waist down, except for socks bc it's a bit cold out. He peed a couple of times on the carpet and even pooped once. The first time it happen i'm ashamed to admit that i scolded him a bit, but then i realized that wasn't the best approach so for the other accidents i just showed a little mild disappointment on my face and said in my serious voice something like "pee goes in the potty, please use the potty". I NEVER made him sit on there if he didn't want to. There were times we wanted to give up but we pressed on, remained consistent and never deviated from the plan, and it seems to have worked. He hasn't had a waking diaper since December 25! Also, after each pee/poo i gave him a small chocolate - so he'd say "I DON'T WANT TO USE POTTY" at first, and i'd be like "Really? Because if you do use the potty you get a chocolate", and that made him have positive thoughts about the potty. He was naked from the waist down for 8 days, when we had to go outside we'd put him in loose pants which we'd take off as soon as we got inside. Then yesterday we started keeping him in loose pants as that's Phase 2. I've also switched the chocolates for Phase 2 to m&m's as i think we'll need to re-kindle his motivation. Now there have been some accidents with the pants, he's tinkled in them a bit before getting them down all the way and other such things. But that's totally okay, we just help him to the potty (assuming he's willing) and will work on Phase 2 until he's clearly comfortable with the idea of removing pants to use potty. Then we'll move to Phase 3, which will involve a new reward, and underwear. I'm not going to think about night/nap training for a long time because really i think it's fantastic that he's doing so well. Anyway, it is a little Pavlovian what we're doing and i'm sure some ppl would take issue with it, but it works for us. The most important thing is to be consistent, to never falter from the plan, give it a certain amount of time to see if it works, and see it through. Maybe you've already tried this and it didn't work. Sometimes nothing we do with our children gives us the desired outcome, and there is nothing that can be done to achieve the goal we want. If you are truly in that situation then i feel badly for you because i know there is some social pressure and it's tough to let go. But i personally try not to project my own feelings of pressure to do things a certain way on to my children, though obviously i fall short at times. Good luck!!
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#5 of 6 Old 01-06-2015, 08:13 PM
 
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Oh my gosh! Don't worry about not having finished potty training yet. I think it really depends on the kid's personality.

My son is 3 as of December and still only does small sessions of "underwear time" most days. Honestly the only thing that worked for us at first was making a little chart with just a few spaces (maybe 3 to start) and deciding on a "treat" to have when he got all the stars (for "underwear time"). So chocolate, a lollipop, a little toy, whatever. We now have 6 spaces to fill and a chocolate reward most times.

He also looks forward to going to preschool ("school" he calls it) and we can't sign him up yet so I tell him we can "practice" using the potty, listening, putting away toys (haha!) while we wait for a spot to open up.

My son doesn't care so much about praise and how everyone else feels about his successes, which is actually a strength as an adult, but it makes potty training hard. Don't feel bad, please! Try to make it fun, and embrace little bribes. They work! I hang with a lot of anti-bribe people, but think of what adults do for money . . . kind of a double standard I think.
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#6 of 6 Old 01-09-2015, 08:30 PM
 
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Originally Posted by KKsMomma View Post
...I hang with a lot of anti-bribe people, but think of what adults do for money . . . kind of a double standard I think.
^^ Haha! so true
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