There and back again, an almost successful potty training story - Mothering Forums

 
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#1 of 5 Old 03-18-2015, 01:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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There and back again, an almost successful potty training story

I have tried to pay attention to my daughter's ques to see when she is ready for using the potty. I bought a little one and a toilet seat for her when she was hitting 2, to give her a chance to sit on them and experiment. No interest, no problem.

Fast forward: she was a few months shy of 3. I tried the 3 day method, tried my best not to get mad, offered lots of encouragement and some treats. She didn't get the hang of it by the end of the 3 days, so I let it go.

I tried this again a few months later. She wasn't interested, I let it go.

Then, this January, when she was 3 years old she heard me talking about potty training to another mom, and she just decided to wear underwear. I was thrilled!! I gave her lots of encouragement and positive attention.

HOWEVER. She recently, in Feb., started having LOTS of accidents. Like almost every time she had to urinate. I have carpeted floors and I am just tired of cleaning up messes several times a day! The problem is that she doesn't like me telling her to use the bathroom, she wants control. And she just gets too busy playing to go. A friend recommended pull-ups to save my sanity. I REALLY REGRET going that route b/c now its a crutch, she just pees in her pull-ups, and they are way more expensive than Costco diapers!! I tell her she only gets 2 a day, but she is having a lot of fits and screaming that diapers are bad and she doesn't want to wear them!

She really wants control over things in life, I get that. But when I calmly explain things to her she just won't listen.

I am beyond frustrated. I have tried calmly explaining that if she wants pull-ups, she has to keep them dry. Same with underwear, otherwise its back to diapers. Based on my experience in January, I KNOW she can use the potty. She has gone in stores, and even kept herself dry on long trips. I really don't know why she decided to start wetting her pants, but I can't just let her pee everywhere. And I cannot afford a thousand Dora pull-ups. I just want her back in underwear.

Has anyone else experienced this? If you have had some kind of similar experience I would love to know what worked for you.

And yes, I have done the 3 day "magic" potty training, training with a doll that pees, positive encouragement, negative side effects (showing some disapproval), small rewards, the potty book.....
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#2 of 5 Old 03-18-2015, 02:39 PM
 
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I hear your frustration mama, it sounds difficult. Sometimes it just goes back and forth like that. Here is an article that might be of interest. I hope it works out! Here's a big hug for the frustrated mama! #notautomatic-
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#3 of 5 Old 08-29-2015, 07:47 AM
 
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we are "almost successful" too!

Hi. I understand your frustration!


We did IPT/ EC for the first time with dc4...


Wow, in one sense I think that every miss she has had since she was about 2 mos old was bc of me or another caregiver missing an obvious queue or regularly scheduled potty time...


EXCEPT


She did go thru a "thing" at about 11 mos when she peed on me or her older sister ON PURPOSE each and every time we laid down with her for a nap-- I am not kidding-- she punished us for the naps! For a couple months, then got over it.


And now we have regular misses-- we didn't used to. Bedwetting about 1/2 the time. Pee and poo misses-- a few every few days.


Ugh. I thought we would be really done by almost 2 yo since we were getting regular success at 3 weeks of age, and consistent success by 2 months!


I am checking that article now, thanks!


Also-- this is something that struck me, OP... you say several times that your DD wants to be in control, but I feel it is important to consider, that this is a control issue for parents as well. IDK what the dynamic is for you, but accepting your own feelings of wanting some control over what happens (even if only on behalf of the carpets!) may be an important step...? As for me-- yes, I do want... not to control my DD's bladder-- but to have a little more predictability and less mess, so yes, I would like some control over the situation, or for her to display more self control as she used to, & despite she wants and has some control, it is not a mature control yet.
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#4 of 5 Old 08-29-2015, 08:25 AM
 
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That sounds just like my DS. I think the thing that really worked for him was letting him control when he got to use the potty, but if he had an accident he had to wear a diaper. He was upset about the idea of having a diaper "because he's a big boy" which were his own words. I told him that if he wanted to be big like that, then he needed to use the potty when he had to go. I think we only had 4 accidents after that talk, and every time he got a diaper regardless of the situation or how upset it made both of us.

I wish you luck though!!

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Lots of Love
-Mcfly


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#5 of 5 Old 08-29-2015, 10:16 AM
 
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Thanks for the encouragement!


The idea of wearing diapers was all it took for DS2, but DD4 is a TOTALLY new lesson in parenting for me!


Diapers do not bother her at all. At. All. Sometimes she even seems relieved-- oh, now I don't need to think about when to potty-- haha.


I may have to try the approach that helped w DSD when she had accidents at 4yo after pottying fine since 2 yo... she can "help" clean up the mess. (Yes, I know this usually takes 10x longer, and then usually involves "disinfecting" -- w Dr. Bronner baby soap-- the child and every item she has "helped" "clean up" afterward, but idk, I think it can help her assume responsibility for the choices she has control over.) She does enjoy "wash wash wash-ing" anything she can run a wet paper towel over whenever I clean, so it should be a positive for her-- what do you other mamas think?
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