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Old 06-04-2014, 03:05 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Birth Control After Baby

What do you guys plan on doing about birth control after the baby is born?

My husband is so overwhelmed with the idea of three kids (supporting them, not raising them...mostly.) He's DONE and I'm just very grateful he was okay with one more after we had his idea of a perfect family. I'm fine with three, and I'm planning on working when my son is in school (he'll be three next month, so in a couple of years.) A surprise at that point wouldn't be the most welcome...though my daughter was a huge surprise and she's turned out to be the best "mistake" we've ever made. However, pull'n'pray was what got her here and I don't think we'll turn to that again!

I used the Depo shot after Ciara was born for three years, then switched to Nuva Ring for about 6 months. The Depo was great, then I gained 15+ pounds on the Nuva Ring. I stopped it to get pregnant with Killian, and did the Depo until just after his second birthday. My new doctor told me I shouldn't take Depo for more than two years because it causes bone density loss (um...thanks old doctor who happily shot me up for over three years) I tried spermicide and it was...just plain gross and inconvenient. We went back to withdrawal while we toyed with the idea of another baby, and then decided to go ahead...took less than a week to get pregnant with B3. I seem to conceive easily and while that's awesome, it's not when I'm looking for effective birth controls.

I'm reading a lot about the Fertility Awareness Method but ohhh my gosh does it seem like a ton of work. I'm also wondering what my kids will think of me popping a thermometer into my girl parts every morning. I'm way too forgetful and a pill hater to actually take a pill every day. I really hated how I felt when I gained all that weight with NuvaRing and wonder if any of the meds that use estrogen and progestin will do that to me...but I read the Depo was the worst offender for weight gain and that never did a thing to me, so I'm almost considering it again. Any implants are just plain out...partially because there could be fertilized eggs that then can't find a home (too close to my views on Plan B) and partially because ewww....an implant? In my body? In my girl parts? Not for me. I was 24yo before I got my ears pierced because I couldn't stomach the idea of just popping a foreign object into my body. My sister had the one in her arm and she used to freak me out by wiggling it at me- you could literally see the whole thing through her skin.

So does anyone have experience with FAM or NFP? I'm wondering how much effort it takes once you're educated and have your methods figured out. AND if anyone has experience with a little surprise while actively using a natural method.
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Old 06-04-2014, 06:20 AM
 
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FAM is actually pretty easy (and you take your temp sublingually, just like any other time. You just use a particularly accurate thermometer.:)) However, if you will be nursing and cosleeping, you may not have an even enough sleep rhythm to get as accurate a reading/pattern as you might otherwise.

I don't ever suggest depo. I worked in family planning when it was the new big thing, and it really seemed like a miracle drug. But I've also seen people over the years who would give anything to go back and undo the decision to take it.

If not nursing (and under 35- ideally) bcps may be a good option. Or if you are sure you are done, your husband can look into a vasectomy.

As for me, if I have a C-section, I will also probably wind up with a hysterectomy. If not, my husband will probably have a vasectomy at some point. Until then, FAM and condoms are great.
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Old 06-04-2014, 06:28 AM
 
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We have used NFP successfully for 10 years. No surprises! It's as effective as the pill when used correctly (like any type of family planning!). It also helped us successfully conceive 3 of our 4 children the first month trying and when we had a random nearly 2-year period of loss/infertility it correctly identified low progesterone levels that were missed by traditional measures. It's a commitment to learn and there are different types (I have learned the Creighton Method and the Sympto Thermal Method) but once you know it, it's a breeze. You do have to abstain during the fertile period (some people use condoms then but then that's no different than using condoms as your contraception because you're using them during the fertile time when you are most likely to get pregnant!) but that just takes more getting used to than anything. And I take my temperature orally - you don't have to do it vaginally (I don't think most people do). I really like it. I like knowing there aren't any chemicals going through my body; I like knowing that I am not conceiving and then, as you said, the fertilized egg is being flushed out; I like knowing that it is reversible immediately should feelings change about family size...

I hope that helps! I"d be happy to answer any more questions if you have any.
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Old 06-04-2014, 08:45 AM
 
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I don't know what I want.

This may be our last or we may have one more. DH is wiling to get the V when we're done but I'm not sure when we'll feel done.

We conceived #1 on BCP and successfully used the POM combined with some parts of fertility awareness (I don't usually temp long term) for all the times we weren't pregnant or TTC over 8 years. Tried Condoms but a) I think I have a mild latex issue and b) the regular use stats are about the same as the POM.

The only two times this has failed for us (also my two MC) was when we tried to just use FAM and not combine it with the POM...

However I am considering the Mirena, for my cycle health, to see it if helps me at all. But I don't know how I feel about it as BC.
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Old 06-04-2014, 08:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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HA! I suggested a vasectomy knowing what he'd say about that. His best friend had one a few years ago and he still talks about how terrible and traumatic it was. His wife is a nurse and had twins via CS, and she said that taking care of him after it wasn't worth not having another. So anyway, he's scared to death of the idea. I don't think I'll ever feel permanently DONE, so I wouldn't want to push it anyway.

Callie, how hard is it to chart? Do you have to write down your every temp (haha, I thought you had to do vaginal temp readings...does nobody do that and I just got a weird idea about that?? THAT'S a little embarrassing!!) and track it somehow? Keep a little calendar by the bed or something? I guess I'm just imagining it taking a lot of time first thing in the morning, and I'm an awful sleeper and a more terrible morning person. My kids wake me up by climbing in my bed and begging for breakfast, so the shorter the "routine" this method takes, the better. I will definitely be nursing, but not bedsharing. B3 will sleep in our room though. Do you simply go by temperatures, or do you check your cervical mucus too?

Have you ever heard of anyone else using a different barrier method during their fertile times? How long is the fertile period? It seems like it might only be 3 days from some things I've read, but that doesn't make a lot of sense compared to what I've read about TTC. We definitely wouldn't be good about being abstinent for long.

Rainbow, why did they so regret the Depo? I was horrified that I used it too long, and what it can do to your bones, but I was young and stupid when I had my daughter and just needed something that I wouldn't forget about and have another "oops" before we were ready. Then it had worked so well for me that I just continued without researching it much. I've used it for a solid 5 years (not continuously) and won't use it again, but I will miss the ease of use. Oddly, I have no idea what goes on with Depo other than I liked it, but I have read a lot more about the ones I haven't yet tried!
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Old 06-04-2014, 08:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Referring to my OP, I meant I was considering NuvaRing again, not Depo.

I hate the idea of pumping myself with hormones, but then I'm not sure how regular and committed I will be to NFP. However, this might be the first time I'm using contraception without a smothered wish that it won't work.
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Old 06-04-2014, 09:41 PM
 
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What is POM method?
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Old 06-05-2014, 11:31 AM
 
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M2C, some people definitely take their temp vaginally ;) so you aren't completely crazy! But I've always just done orally :) and it only takes a minute or so and I've always recorded my temps on my phone in the fertility friend app. You can do it on paper too. It really becomes routine and quick. I'm a horrible sleeper and morning person too but manage it for awhile every so often (simply to see if there's a pattern for me. Which there is - I tend to ovulate on Day 10 more than any other day. And I have a few other signs that point to this :) )

Line - Pull Out Method ;) for some of us it works really well, other's not. But that could be correct usage, we've been doing it so long that the correct usage stat goes up or it could be that we're lucky and maybe there's no sperm in the preejaculate. There are some other things like using the bathroom between sessions to "clear the tubes" that some people don't know either. Of course we've always been open to another baby during this time. However getting pregnant with our first on BCP we kinda feel there's no 100% sure way of preventing except abstanence/historectomy or full menopause...
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Old 06-05-2014, 11:32 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Haha, I googled it myself. Pull Out Method.
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Old 06-05-2014, 11:39 AM - Thread Starter
 
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So what's up with regretting the Depo? I'm not happy with any hormones I'm adding to my body but when I finally decided that hormonal BC was the only logical choice (back at 21 when I had my first, unsure of where our relationship was going, and not mature enough to feel devoted to NFP especially in case I messed it up) the Depo didn't seem worse than any of the others. Other than missing an appointment, it was pretty foolproof for me too. I've had my stint with it and won't use it more than the 5 years I've already used it for, but I'm still a little bummed I can't just forget about BC all but 4 times a year.
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Old 06-06-2014, 07:46 PM
 
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Callie, how hard is it to chart? Do you have to write down your every temp (haha, I thought you had to do vaginal temp readings...does nobody do that and I just got a weird idea about that?? THAT'S a little embarrassing!!) and track it somehow? Keep a little calendar by the bed or something? I guess I'm just imagining it taking a lot of time first thing in the morning, and I'm an awful sleeper and a more terrible morning person. My kids wake me up by climbing in my bed and begging for breakfast, so the shorter the "routine" this method takes, the better. I will definitely be nursing, but not bedsharing. B3 will sleep in our room though. Do you simply go by temperatures, or do you check your cervical mucus too
I don't find it hard to chart at all. I just check my mucus before bed and write down what it is. I take my temps the same time each morning but I have a digital thermometer that records the last temperature taken so I take it while I'm basically still asleep and then when it beeps that it's done, I put it on my nightstand and go back to bed! Or, I'll get up if it's an early day for me. Then I just check it at night when I write down my mucus and write down the temp from that morning. Many people do it on their phones now, but I still like the paper method. And I use my chart for other things too - I chart when I'm sick (which you should do anyway to help explain variation in your chart) but it helps me see a pattern to some of my sicknesses; I write down when I changed my contacts (I use the 2 week disposable ones), stuff like that.

But as far as it being time consuming in the morning, it takes me maybe 30 seconds to take my temp and that's it! You can't just do the temperatures as that doesn't tell you when you are going to ovulate, just that you already have. You can do just mucus only (that's what Creigton method is but you can also just do mucus only by learning Sympto-Thermal) but I prefer the temps too. It is an added back up in my opinion and also can show things that can be useful (that's how I realized I had low progesterone even before I had any blood work) and it can indicate thyroid issues, tell you if you are pregnant, etc. So it's not even just a family planning method but it's useful in terms of knowing your body and your health as well.
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Old 06-06-2014, 09:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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That doesn't sound too terrible. I'm very non-habitual, as in I don't even brush my teeth at any particular time. Some days I brush with the kids first thing, some days after I finish my coffee when I get home from dropping my daughter at school, some days I'll have one cup in my belly and the other in the pot still and I'll brush between them. However, my kids are ON POINT punctual with their habits, and I was always really good at creating and keeping their routines solid. Don't ask me how....but I did. So if I do like you, and make it a point to "play doctor" with the kids when they wake me up, I might be able to get that routine going. Bedtime is a different story, but I can work something out if I use my schnazzy new iPhone to help me out! Oh yeah, I just joined generation smartphone! Coming from a flip phone with not so much as a camera or ability to text, I'm pretty stoked about what this phone can do for me.

What might REALLY work is to start charting now and just see if I can keep up with it while I have nothing to lose if I mess up. Do you have any good websites to help you learn what you're doing with um..."the data?" :-)
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Old 06-10-2014, 12:03 PM
 
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Oh gosh... NOT going to even start thinking about this yet! It's my "time off" and hopefully we can keep nursing quite exclusively to avoid having to think about it for awhile... But then... I am the lady with 6 children.

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Old 06-10-2014, 12:42 PM
 
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I'm hoping that tandem nursing will keep my cycles away for longer than last time. With DD I was fertile, ovulating and releasing eggs again at 3 months postpartum even with exclusively nursing on demand, co-sleeping and wearing her for all her waking hours. I was not expecting to have to implement NFP so soon.

We were hoping for 15-18 month spacing between dd and the this babe so it worked out well and we were able to conceive exactly when we wanted but still, I hope not to have to worry about it so soon this time because I think I want to give my body a full year or two rest before conceiving again.

If it it shows up as soon as last time we'll be charting but since we want a lot of kids, in our minds it's never really a bad time to have kids. It might be different with two kiddos but with DD I wanted a baby again from the moment I had her and took some serious restraint to wait for the 6 months we did to try for another. Everyone in my last ddc thought I was crazy starting wanting to try at 4 months postpartum. So basically I'm the worst person to ask.

 

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Old 06-10-2014, 01:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I would LOVE to have a bunch of babies close in age but DH had different ideas, and since he's the one working his butt off to support all of us, I figure it's more his call than mine. He was the THIRD generation of two boys 6 years apart. That's right, he and his brother, his dad and uncle, and his grandfather and great-uncle were all 6 years apart and had no other siblings! I was very happy to break that mold! I always dreamed of 4 kids close together, after getting close to a family I babysat for, but I didn't consider $$$ back then either. I count myself very blessed to be given the chance to stay home with 3. My DH is still ambitious, and wants to buy 20+ acres to build on, so eventually I'll work when all three are in school to help make that happen. But it still kind of pangs me knowing these are my "lasts." I feel like if I wasn't putting a limit on it I wouldn't feel so emotional about every little thing being the last time I'll ever....feel a first kick, see an ultrasound, go into labor, breastfeed...you know what I mean? I will say, I did think Killian would be our last because my hubs was good with two, so I've felt like this before and I know you should really never say never. Good to remember to just enjoy the moment- every season has an end, regardless of how long or short it might be.
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Old 06-10-2014, 02:00 PM
 
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You are so right! I take it for granted that I hopefully have 3-4 more pregnancies in my future, it's such a good reminder to see another point of few and remember that things can happen and we are not guaranteed anything.

What an interesting line to come from. And you had a Ciara first right! That is definitely a way to break the mold!

 

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Old 06-10-2014, 07:10 PM
 
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My husband has been putting off a surgery he needs because it could have an impact on his fertility. Plan was, after this baby, he'd go ahead and have the surgery and then have a V while they were in. We both have a seed of doubt now that I am pregnant with #3 and so I don't know what in the heck we will do. I would say FAM, but even though I chart, FAM ends up really meaning condoms for us because my libido is so strongly tied to ovulation and I become insatiable. There's just no way we could avoid during my fertile period. During my LP I don't really care about sex and during AF, DH isn't interested.
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Old 06-13-2014, 04:15 AM
 
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We have always only used condoms for birth control. We have considered vasectomy for my husband after this baby (this is our third as well and only intended on having two). But, after researching the side effects more, there are some risks associated with it, so I am not willing to let him do that. I plan to start using Natural Family Planning until I go into menopause and condoms during fertile times. But the way we got pregnant this time was that we had unprotected sex one time about 3 days after my period, so my cycles are short and it only takes a little slip up (in my case, apparently I'm extra fertile!). I think we will stick to condoms until we can start NFP. I'm definitely not open to using any type of hormones or implant.
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Old 06-13-2014, 08:59 PM
 
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Mamalerner - what side effects have you learned about? We haven't dug that deep into the details yet.
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Old 06-13-2014, 09:53 PM
 
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Were in the same boat except we only have 2 and we both feel strongly that we are done.

I have similar ideas to you on bc except that we did pullout for many years and it never failed but now I really don't want anymore and I need something more solid. Thankfully dh agreed to a vasectomy. At first he wanted me to get my tubes tied and I pointed out how utterly unfair that would be given all that I had to give to have our 2 kids plus a vasectomy is significantly less intrusive with less possible side effects. So yeah, he already had an appt with the gp who sent a referral to a urologist. I'm SO excited!! Can't wait to have worry free sex!
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