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Old 06-28-2014, 05:44 PM
 
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The waiting to find out gender has been driving me a little batty, too! Not even because if have a preference, just because I want to know!

I'm so excited for everyone who is so close Today is the 36 week Mark for me, so still feeling very far off that I'll actually go into labor. So very uncomfortable, though. And I also can't, for the life of me, reach my cervix! Last pregnancy I had a lot of prodromal labor at the end (any time we had sex it kicked it off - and we were DTD every night (I was so ready to have the baby!)) but none of that yet, so I don't think I'm close at all.

Girl absolutely in love with boy and our DD (11/06), DS1 (08/11) and DS2 (brand new!)
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Old 06-28-2014, 08:55 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mareseatoats View Post
The waiting to find out gender has been driving me a little batty, too! Not even because if have a preference, just because I want to know!

I'm so excited for everyone who is so close Today is the 36 week Mark for me, so still feeling very far off that I'll actually go into labor. So very uncomfortable, though. And I also can't, for the life of me, reach my cervix! Last pregnancy I had a lot of prodromal labor at the end (any time we had sex it kicked it off - and we were DTD every night (I was so ready to have the baby!)) but none of that yet, so I don't think I'm close at all.
Mares, I think we're due date buddies. And I could have written the bulk of your last paragraph - can't get close to my cervix, either. I thought about asking my husband to check it out because he could, you know, reach, but he doesn't do the earthybirthy stuff and I think would rather pretend that baby will magically appear in a pretty cloud of awesomeness.

I will say that our first being a boy was really for the best. I ended up single-parenting basically from birth until last fall while my husband and I had some serious relationship issues (we were quite young) and we both finished school in different states. While I feel that the separation and issues did affect our child, they seemed to be helped by the fact that he was a boy rather than a girl. I don't know why - it just feels that way to me. I'm the mother of a wonderfully geeky, funny, stubborn, talkative boy. He likes some of the things I like but not others, is Dad's mini-me, and - while he does have his frustrating moments, he's incredibly perceptive and HATES seeing me in pain or upset. He's extremely protective and is just a wonderful child. I could do another boy, and easily - however, there's a significant age difference between our first and this one, to the point where they wouldn't really be friends or do things together until they're much older. All of that taken into account, with the addition of my husband being a constant presence, and I just really do want my girl without having to drag myself through another miserable pregnancy. I'm amazingly close to my mother and grandmother, and I'd like to have that in my own family as well. And I kind of want to see my husband turn into a total marshmallow with a daughter.

e

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Old 06-28-2014, 09:33 PM
 
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I thank you, Mares and Caled, for taking the time to share your loving experiences with your boys. I have heard this from other friends too, so I am sure to be panicking for nothing. I need to lower the anxiety and just know, which underlying it all I do, that I will unconditionally love and cherish any baby of my flesh regardless of gender and I am a good mother period...I will have a wonderful and compassionate boy or girl. Shed the worry.

Mama to 4yo dd Piper, loving wife to Dave and preggo for the second time...due in Early July!  Hurray!
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Old 06-29-2014, 07:01 AM
 
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I worry about boyness, too, but seeing other people with their sweet little guys helps. It also helps that DD got herself a balloon sword yesterday in the park and took out everyone near her. I guess some of the stereotypes really are just that. And I do have some advice for siblings with a big break in age--make the older one do way more work with the younger than seems fair. My two best friends in high school both had much younger siblings. The one who was left to do her own thing has almost nothing to do with her brother. The one who was forced to babysit constantly (Sam was ALWAYS with us on our outings) is actually really close to hers, even though he's almost 10 years younger.

She's here!
And so are the boys!
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Old 06-29-2014, 12:15 PM
 
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Just a random thought on the topic of labor. warning, I'm jumping WAY into speculation land So, one of the main, important things determining when labor starts is baby's lung development. And "practice breathing" facilitates lung development. Hiccups are often a sign that baby has been practicing and seems to be a good sign that progress is being made in the lung development department. Can the conclusion be made that more frequent hiccups (using hiccups as the indicator because its more noticeable than the more subtle practice breaths, which you usually have to be still/quiet to notice) means that labor will start earlier than if there were fewer bouts of hiccups? My last baby, it seemed like he hardly ever got the hiccups, and he was my latest, at 41 weeks. My first baby was born soonest, labor started a couple days shy of 39 weeks. I can't really remember much about how often she had the hiccups but it seemed like it was a decent amount. More than my youngest, at least. This baby gets hiccups LIKE CRAZY! And I do notice lots of practice breaths when I'm still. So I wonder if this'll be another 39 weeker? I wouldn't mind! Anyone else have any theories/anecdotes?
I don't think hiccups mean anything with labor personally. DD always had them and was ten days late. I will say that I think hiccups can be a sign that the baby will have reflux. Until she was 6 mos old, half of every feeding was spit up.
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Old 06-29-2014, 12:29 PM
 
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Turtle -- I'll chime in too about boys. This is my fourth baby; I already have two boys and a girl, and this one is going to be a boy. I've loved the experience of raising a girl so far, but there really is something sweet and special with moms and boys. My boys are 11 and 13 now, and they still call me "mommy" and give hugs without being asked. I can't say for sure, but I expect that the gender sameness will cause my girl to want to individuate from me a bit earlier. I also will say that I grew up with a brother who was close in age to me, and we were great playmates. DD does seem more precocious with speech and some self-care/hygiene things; that's probably the big positive I've noticed in raising a girl vs. my boys. Also, yes, always have a diaper ready to cover them up with when they're naked, or they *will* pee on you. :-)

I think it's entirely normal to have a preference and some concerns about one gender or the other. Once the birth hormones are flowing, you'll fall so quickly in love with your new one, whatever their sex. I hope whichever sex you end up with is a great match with your current family.

M/C at 8 weeks -- May 2000. DS #1 -- March 2001. DS #2 -- November 2002. (Ten year break!) DD -- October 2011. M/C at 8 weeks -- May 2013. Expecting #4 late July.
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Old 06-29-2014, 02:36 PM
 
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That was so sweet mareseatoats!
I was kind of thinking from the beginning on that this must be a boy too. Lateley I am not so sure anymore. I would love to have another girl as I am also a little scared about having a boy. No boys in the family all just girls. A healthy baby is all that counts in the end but for economical reasons a girl would be much appreciated. So this torn feeling remains and a little guilt about hoping for one but not the other.

“The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.”
―Socrates

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Old 06-29-2014, 10:09 PM
 
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I was sure, at the beginning, that this was a girl. Now I think of the baby as a boy. I really don't know! Honestly I think life would be easier with a whole passel of boys. I find my daughter's emotions much harder to manage, whereas DS is angry and then done. DD is more complex. I'm going to be so thrilled with either one (as we all are, of course) that I can hardly stand it. I just watched the most absolutely sweet birth video - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i00Z22ZNe_8 Her reaction is so real and amazing. I just love it. That's going to be us soon!

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Old 06-30-2014, 01:19 PM
 
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I was sure, at the beginning, that this was a girl. Now I think of the baby as a boy. I really don't know! Honestly I think life would be easier with a whole passel of boys. I find my daughter's emotions much harder to manage, whereas DS is angry and then done. DD is more complex. I'm going to be so thrilled with either one (as we all are, of course) that I can hardly stand it. I just watched the most absolutely sweet birth video - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i00Z22ZNe_8" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i00Z22ZNe_8</a> Her reaction is so real and amazing. I just love it. That's going to be us soon!
I've found it so interesting to read everyone's thoughts and fears about having a boy. I was terrified I was going to have a girl!-mainly because of the reason Mares just mentioned, I feel as if girls are much more complex than boys and have so many more emotions that I'm not sure I'd be able to handle.

I've always been able to relate to males better, I think because you know what they feel and there are no guessing games, which I can't stand.

Also, I'm really terrible at doing hair, makeup, and nails (not trying to generalize). Also because I was a teenage, boy-crazy terror and I just know I will be repaid.

On another note, the older ladies at my knitting group say that the girls are the ones that come home to take care of you when you need help.

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Old 06-30-2014, 02:03 PM
 
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I can relate to a lot of these comments. With my first child, during the US where I found out the gender, the tech asked if I had any thoughts about whether it was a boy or a girl. I strongly felt it was a girl. I felt so confident that I said to her, "if you tell me it's a boy, I think I'll fall off this table"! LOL ...two minutes later....it's a boy - for sure!

There was definitely a period of adjustment following that, but my relationship with my son is super intimate. We have such an amazing bond. He did come out "all boy". He loves everything stereotypically male: bugs, frogs, fighting, cars, and DIRT. I was a bit of a tomboy so I guess I have adapted okay to all of this. So much so that I was very comfortable with the idea of this baby being a boy...and then...GIRL! Aye, aye, aye - so much for mother's intuition! LOL

Then I needed a period of adjustment following that news. I thought similarly to others, raising a girl is more complicated and I don't know a lot about frilly things either, but somehow I stocked a closet full of pink and had a lot of fun doing it! I don't know how she will end up being anything other than a bit of a tomboy, given everyone else in the family is somewhat rough and tumble, but if I'm wrong again and the first thing she asks for is a tutu or nail polish, I'll adjust!
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Old 07-01-2014, 12:19 PM
 
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So I went ahead and had a cervix exam at my checkup today - 38wks - 2cm and 30%. My husband wanted it more than anything. He is anxioux abt not making the birth as he works somewhere different every day all around the city. But the dilation really means nothing as we all know. She did say the babies head very low and over ? the cervix so she had to go kinda underneath and behind - if that makes sense. Very uncomfortable for me.

I lost 3 lbs and blood pressure/urine was good so happy for that.

Also, have I mentioned yet the huge change in birth plans? The specialist/Ob who backs the homebirth midwives here actually announced last week he is opening his own midwifery practice as of July 14, 2014 and Delivering in a really nice hospital in the city (45min from me). The very day before my due date! I immediately called and asked if there is any way I could get in even though I may deliver before and he said sure as he already has privileges at the hospital and I have been seeing him for ULtrasounds and he knows my history well.

I am thrilled! It will be in a hospital setting of course but with absolutely no worry or pressure of unnecessary monitoring, IV, or being on a time clock. He is so supportive of laboring naturally and even delivers breech babies and such vaginally all the time. My kids are welcome to come with me which is very important and the hospital has really spacious, clean rooms.

My insurance will cover all this too where with the homebirth of course I would have to pay it all out of pocket. So now the homebirth midwife knows we will be going with her backup for delivery instead of her at home. It really all has worked out for the best!

Sry for the long post but I wanted to update as its a pretty big change.
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Old 07-01-2014, 02:59 PM
 
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That's so exciting! I'm really happy for you, it sounds like an ideal situation. How great is it when you find a doctor like that?

We also had a change in plans, although not nearly so big. I don't think I mentioned it yet, but the midwife I transferred my care to after we moved was making me feel a bit uncomfortable. She had a hard time remembering things I told her, even to the point where she thought I was a completely different patient and was going to give me a shot? And then at the next appointment she just didn't show up. I called the number I had for her and it had no pager number or backup number or anything. She didn't call me back for over an hour, and it was just to say she forgot the appointment! No birth or anything, just forgot. Luckily one of the amazing neighbor mamas I've met here had a recommendation for me for a different midwife group. They usually are booked, but someone risked out of their care (which I feel bad about) and they were able to take me on! I really like them, and they are much more professional as well. A huge relief.

Girl absolutely in love with boy and our DD (11/06), DS1 (08/11) and DS2 (brand new!)
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Old 07-01-2014, 04:26 PM
 
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That's so exciting! I'm really happy for you, it sounds like an ideal situation. How great is it when you find a doctor like that?

We also had a change in plans, although not nearly so big. I don't think I mentioned it yet, but the midwife I transferred my care to after we moved was making me feel a bit uncomfortable. She had a hard time remembering things I told her, even to the point where she thought I was a completely different patient and was going to give me a shot? And then at the next appointment she just didn't show up. I called the number I had for her and it had no pager number or backup number or anything. She didn't call me back for over an hour, and it was just to say she forgot the appointment! No birth or anything, just forgot. Luckily one of the amazing neighbor mamas I've met here had a recommendation for me for a different midwife group. They usually are booked, but someone risked out of their care (which I feel bad about) and they were able to take me on! I really like them, and they are much more professional as well. A huge relief.
Well I am sorry u had a poor experience with the first midwife but really excited you found a better fit! Funny how things work out sometimes
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Old 07-01-2014, 04:42 PM
 
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#7 -Glad some thing so great worked out for you, must be very exciting and all in the nick of time. It's interesting that he delivers breech babies vaginally. Seems like very few do that, he must be pretty skilled.

Mares- I'm glad you switched midwife groups! The flakey/forgetful midwife sounds slightly terrifying!

My midwife is headed to my house tonight to check everything out. Just ordered the birth kit and liner for the tub. Now just need to find a drinking water safe hose and old sheets/receiving blankets/towels. Saw the OB yesterday and he prescribed me the after birth eye drops and and vitamin k shot.

Husband still needs to finish changing table, other than that I think we're all set???

Tried to ride my bike today to work less than a mile after I dropped my car off for repairs. Boy was that uncomfortable! I think bike rides are over until birth, sadly.
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Old 07-01-2014, 10:27 PM
 
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Thanks Farmes! It is a rarity. Once after an ultrasound he dashed out and I had to wait almost 2 hrs for his return to go over everything. We grabbed lunch and did some walking til he came back. He was in scrubs and I said I hoped whatever the emergency was went well. He said "oh, well a mom came in at 38 wks with a breech but didn't want the csection so we went ahead vaginally". I was so impressed! He acted so laid back abt it.

Do you have a walmart nearby? The garden section at Walmart is where we found our drinking safe hose for a really good price.

And I can't imagine riding the bike! Ouch! Just getting into my pants is giving me terrible symphysis pain lately so a bike must be terrible. I hope your car is ready soon!
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Old 07-02-2014, 12:32 PM
 
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We do have an evil empire (walmart) nearby. I actually did look around there the other day and asked but the guy didn't seem to know. Does the hose say something specific? None said drinking water safe.

Midwife has been having a hard time figuring out position of baby. She said my muscles are pretty strong which makes it difficult, plus he's like way in there. She and I are pretty sure he is head down with feet in my ribs but were going to see if we can get a hand held device from an OB to make sure there are no surprises. He hasn't settled down in to my pelvis yet, so if by chance he is in a different position, we can do something about it now. I'm guessing if he hasn't settled into my pelvis yet that I still have quite a bit of time before labor.
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Old 07-02-2014, 01:56 PM
 
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I got my drinking water safe hose from a sporting goods store. it was sold for RVs.

dd (7) ds (5), ds (2) &3rdtri.gif hbac.gif and the furbabies cat.gifZeus, Dobby, Luna, & Ravenclaw
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Old 07-02-2014, 04:07 PM
 
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We do have an evil empire (walmart) nearby. I actually did look around there the other day and asked but the guy didn't seem to know. Does the hose say something specific? None said drinking water safe.

Midwife has been having a hard time figuring out position of baby. She said my muscles are pretty strong which makes it difficult, plus he's like way in there. She and I are pretty sure he is head down with feet in my ribs but were going to see if we can get a hand held device from an OB to make sure there are no surprises. He hasn't settled down in to my pelvis yet, so if by chance he is in a different position, we can do something about it now. I'm guessing if he hasn't settled into my pelvis yet that I still have quite a bit of time before labor.
I'm not surprised to hear about your muscles! All along I've been amazed at the activities you're still doing. It's awesome! Your body will rock labor. And I think it's common for first babies to not settle until labor starts. I could be wrong, but I think it's after multiple pregnancies when your hips are more relaxed that baby engages quicker.

Girl absolutely in love with boy and our DD (11/06), DS1 (08/11) and DS2 (brand new!)
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Old 07-03-2014, 11:00 AM
 
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I'm not surprised to hear about your muscles! All along I've been amazed at the activities you're still doing. It's awesome! Your body will rock labor. And I think it's common for first babies to not settle until labor starts. I could be wrong, but I think it's after multiple pregnancies when your hips are more relaxed that baby engages quicker.
Just more stubborn than anything, mares! Don't like not being able to do the things I'm used to! My poor dog has been so bored with my shortened walks.

Has your babe already settled down into your hips?
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Old 07-03-2014, 12:15 PM
 
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Oh, yes indeed! Although it hasn't helped my acid reflux any :/ But the midwives always say the baby is quite far down.

Girl absolutely in love with boy and our DD (11/06), DS1 (08/11) and DS2 (brand new!)
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Old 07-03-2014, 03:22 PM
 
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Midwife snuck me in before the holiday to an OB that she works with on a regular basis and has a hand held US machine so I wouldn't have to get a complete one. She felt my belly and thought it was head down as well. Turns out I have a breech baby and I am so sad. I honestly didn't even think of it as a possibility. I didn't know kicks could be so rhythmic, but I guess what do I know? She mentioned some yoga poses I could try and do, but I've already been doing them in my regular yoga classes . She said there is a manual procedure they can do but she called it a bit brutal and said that it might just put me into labor, or I could have a C-section. I wish I wasn't so upset by this, but I really am.
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Old 07-03-2014, 05:00 PM
 
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Farmes94~

I'm so sorry that you got such disappointing news! I can understand why you would be upset. After my first birth being a disappointment, I really adjusted my way of thinking to focus on the end result and not so much the process and this has helped me, so far, with moving towards this birth. I hope you can find a comfortable level of acceptance with the new information soon

~Christina
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Old 07-03-2014, 07:31 PM
 
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I'm so sorry farmes! There definitely is still hope, though. Have you been to Spinning Babies yet? http://spinningbabies.com/baby-posit...ech-bottoms-up

I'll be thinking of you!

Girl absolutely in love with boy and our DD (11/06), DS1 (08/11) and DS2 (brand new!)
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Old 07-03-2014, 08:01 PM
 
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Thanks, Christina. I was pretty upset earlier. I was just unusually unprepared for the news. The end product, my son, is what is most important to look forward to.

Thanks for the resource, mares. My midwife suggested the same site. Ive already been doing some of the poses, and will keep at it all weekend. Then we'll decide if we want to try the flipping procedure.

Thanks for the kind words.
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Old 07-04-2014, 10:31 AM
 
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Just to pose a different perspective, my close friend just had a 2 hour unassisted frank breech birth a few weeks ago - she was having an unassisted birth no matter what, but went into the experience thinking baby may be breech, but didn't bother investigating further - she knew her baby would come out. So that is all to say that I would do lots of research before agreeing to anything, including the external version and especially an automatic c-section. Most babies flip on their own, you still have time, and there are gentle things to try of course, but the bottom line is that breech babies still come out. The risks of a c-section for breech are higher than the risks of a vaginal breech birth. The higher death rates associated with breech birth are due to the congenital issues that sometimes cause the baby to be breech in the first place, and c-section does not lower that rate. There are some facebook groups out there, as well as lots of breech enthusiasts who would be happy to point you in the right direction. The hardest part is finding a willing provider usually.

Here is a great breech AND VBAC video that shows how non-dramatic it can be. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_4R...layer_embedded

She says - "This is the breech birth of my 4th baby. It is graphic, but it is also a birth, so they come hand in hand really

Please be mindful that this is a very personal moment, which I am sharing. I am more than happy to do so, as I feel it may help other women in my situation, to be inspired & know that there isn't only 1 option for breech babies.

My first 2 babies were born naturally, 3rd was an unnecessary c-section due to being breech, and this one was a breech VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean).

I was very determined after my c-section to have a VBAC. When I found out baby #4 was breech, I was even more so. I knew I could do it, a natural birth was the only way for me, a repeat c-section was not at all necessary (in my situation). So finally, after refusing to consent to a c-section, I got the natural birth I wanted."
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Old 07-04-2014, 01:46 PM
 
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Farmes--I'm sorry about the bad news. Hopefully he will do some flipping on his own or through the poses. I was amazed that DS2 (so weird to write that!) was able to flip before birth--I thought he was in position for sure, but he managed somehow. The wrong way, of course, but I'm surprisingly fine with the c-section result, I think because I had been expecting it for months and then just had a couple weeks of thinking it might be vaginal before realizing that it wouldn't be. I hope your little guy just hasn't finished his full rotations yet!

She's here!
And so are the boys!
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Old 07-05-2014, 09:13 AM
 
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Originally Posted by prettyisa View Post
Farmes--I'm sorry about the bad news. Hopefully he will do some flipping on his own or through the poses. I was amazed that DS2 (so weird to write that!) was able to flip before birth--I thought he was in position for sure, but he managed somehow. The wrong way, of course, but I'm surprisingly fine with the c-section result, I think because I had been expecting it for months and then just had a couple weeks of thinking it might be vaginal before realizing that it wouldn't be. I hope your little guy just hasn't finished his full rotations yet!
Pretty- at how many weeks did he flip? Funny how when you're used to thinking of how something is going to be you don't even consider another way. Has your incision caused a lot of pain?

I've been doing poses, but he doesn't seem to mind his head being jammed in my ribs. Stubborn little bugger, but is to be expected considering who his parents are. I imagine I'll give the procedure a go next week and hope for the best! At this point I just want a safe birth and him to be here already!
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Old 07-06-2014, 01:58 PM
 
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Somewhere between 38 and 38+4. It isn't too bad, actually. No worse than my lady parts were last time, at least. I am still on painkillers, but the only time it actually hurts is when I try to lie on my side. DP keeps yelling at me because I am being pretty active and she wants me to rest more.

She's here!
And so are the boys!
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Old 07-07-2014, 02:57 PM
 
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Sorry about the breech position farmes. How far along are you now? I have heard of babies still turning right before due date. So there is still a chance. Have you tried moxibustion yet? Supposed to help as well. I know a few people who had the baby turned from the outside. If the doc knows how to do it properly it should not be painful at all. There is however the probability to go into labor. Here at the hospital they turn babies at 38 weeks. Hope everything works out it your favor and it does not hurt to give baby some prep talk.

“The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.”
―Socrates

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Old 07-08-2014, 07:34 AM
 
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Last Thursday was my last day at work. All my labor symptoms have died down since then. I still get bloody show occasionally, but few contractions. Its amazing what getting away from all that stress will do. Now that I've had a few days to chill I'm okay with things taking a bit more time that I thought I would have. I was expecting to deliver sometime in 38 weeks, and I'm 39 today. Baby just isn't as ready as I am I guess.
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