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#241 of 267 Old 05-24-2014, 06:50 AM
 
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@Activia CONGRATS!!! :joy So happy for all of you!!


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#242 of 267 Old 05-24-2014, 02:02 PM
 
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I dreamt the other night that I drove all over town with my 3 boys looking for nursing bras/tops. Maybe I should get around to that.


Mama to Peter (3/8/04), Leo (3/12/06), Timothy (7/24/10), and boy #4 due on the summer solstice 2014
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#243 of 267 Old 05-24-2014, 05:57 PM
 
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Activia, that is GREAT news! So good to hear about your calm technique to get through it too. :)


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#244 of 267 Old 05-25-2014, 07:30 AM
 
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Argh... I have a "friend" that's super-irritating me... He doesn't seem to understand that texting him is not in my top priorities, and then he asks/says the most absurd things... He wants to hang out, but is really afraid of me going into labor or giving birth in his car (and asks vague things like "but isn't there like some warning you're going to go into labor?" To which I responded "yeah, 9months of pregnancy")
I told him if it was that big of a deal to him, I probably just shouldn't set foot in his car. eyesroll.gif
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#245 of 267 Old 05-25-2014, 08:26 AM
 
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I love it when people think that a baby is just going to come flying out of me at any time. Seriously, if inducing labor was as easy as picking up a small (empty) cooler or weeding a garden, most women wouldn't be induced with drugs. And if labor was as easy as just popping out a baby, most women wouldn't be given drugs to cope with it.


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#246 of 267 Old 05-25-2014, 09:37 AM
 
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Yup, my first response when he said, very seriously, "no having babies in my car," Was "don't think there's much danger of that, there's usually a lot of labor involved before a kid comes out..."

I "controlled" myself and didn't say anything TOO rude to him, but... After several more clueless statements/questions (including at least one more about anything happening in his car), a lot of mean comments crossed my mind, including implications about his failed marriage and lack of sex/dating life before or after said marriage... Like I said. I was good...

I also think he was confusing "water breaking" with "labor"... How to explain to someone that's reached the age of 30 and doesn't know these things... It was just beyond my frustration level at that particular moment... And the worst part is that, I think it's just lack of knowledge on his part (though perhaps also lack of intellectual curiosity on his part as well... He's one of the most squeamish people I know *eye roll*)
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#247 of 267 Old 05-25-2014, 09:03 PM
 
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Why…. would he want to hang out alone anyway? lol


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#248 of 267 Old 05-26-2014, 06:14 AM
 
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I also think he was confusing "water breaking" with "labor"... How to explain to someone that's reached the age of 30 and doesn't know these things... It was just beyond my frustration level at that particular moment... And the worst part is that, I think it's just lack of knowledge on his part (though perhaps also lack of intellectual curiosity on his part as well... He's one of the most squeamish people I know *eye roll*)

Sadly, I could say this same thing about a close female friend of mine. She is in her forties, obviously no children, and totally clueless. I'm often her makeshift therapist for boyfriend problems and I have to conveniently lose my cell phone A LOT these days just to avoid the texts.

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#249 of 267 Old 05-26-2014, 07:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yup, my first response when he said, very seriously, "no having babies in my car," Was "don't think there's much danger of that, there's usually a lot of labor involved before a kid comes out..."

I "controlled" myself and didn't say anything TOO rude to him, but... After several more clueless statements/questions (including at least one more about anything happening in his car), a lot of mean comments crossed my mind, including implications about his failed marriage and lack of sex/dating life before or after said marriage... Like I said. I was good...

I also think he was confusing "water breaking" with "labor"... How to explain to someone that's reached the age of 30 and doesn't know these things... It was just beyond my frustration level at that particular moment... And the worst part is that, I think it's just lack of knowledge on his part (though perhaps also lack of intellectual curiosity on his part as well... He's one of the most squeamish people I know *eye roll*)

Have you tried flooding him with knowledge?  I smile a lot and flood people with accurate information.  It totally shuts them up.  May make me seem a bit bitchy at times, too, but I'd rather they fear pregnancy-wrath and pretend to smile back than actually force me to whip out the righteous indignation plus hormones.  I realized in a conversation with a friend that in some ways towards the end of our conversation I started to vent a bit about people "not getting it" and let my technique slip only to realize I done a bit of it on her earlier in the conversation.   Oh, well.  I'm keeping it positive for myself.  This is why I love having the networks I've been building since the pregnancy start.  I somehow knew that was going to be the biggest challenge and the greatest benefit.  

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#250 of 267 Old 05-27-2014, 06:40 AM
 
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I spent the weekend with two of my best friends- one was at DS's birth so she knows the drill, the other will be at this birth and knows nothing about pregnancy/birth. She was so interested though, so we talked all weekend about what to expect, what pregnancy is like, etc. It made me realize how little information we as women actually get about this process until we're in it. I have a funny passion for pregnancy and birth so I started researching it in my teens, but otherwise, I would have been clueless about my fertility cycle, the birth process, what to expect in pregnancy. And so few of us ever get to witness another woman's birth (other than the scenes in movies) that it's no wonder so many women (and men) are totally clueless and freaked out by birth.

I would definitely flood your friend with knowledge @primalmom -- his comments may be annoying, but think of it as a public service-- you're educating him on the facts of life and a normal, natural process that has somehow become shrouded in mystery and fear. If he ever has kids, his wife will surely thank you for preparing him!

~may all beings be free from suffering~
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#251 of 267 Old 05-27-2014, 08:08 AM
 
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It is crazy how little information we get, isn't it. It's not like pregnancy and birth is a big deal or anything! A neighbor of mine who is a college student is completely freaked out by it all. She's cute though because she totally admits it. I've been instructed to put a note on my door when I'm in labor so she doesn't accidentally interupt things. The other day there was a very obvious foot poking the side of my belly so I had her feel it, and I thought for sure she was going to die. The funny thing is, she's a pharm-D major, so you'd think she'd be a little more fascinated by all things health and wellness related.

 

My MIL on the other hand is a different story. She's had 6 kids of her own and has attended the births of two of my SIL, but somehow is still clueless. Every single time I picked up anything heavier than a feather she tells me not to do any lifting since she doesn't want to deliver the baby. I love her to death, but she's got some serious negativity toward natural birth. The second week in June she's got a timeshare on a place that's only 30 minutes away from my house, and the plan is for us to go up for some relaxing postpartum time. I know there's no way I'll be able to relax at home, and she's a great caretaker, so I think it's the perfect postpartum plan. But I could tell something was bothering her, and once we started talking I realized she was worried that if I was overdue I'd still want to stay there. She was really worried about me going into labor in her presence. Nevermind a 30 minute car ride is less than her daughter's drive to the hospital was, and she was in the car with her!


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#252 of 267 Old 05-27-2014, 09:13 AM
 
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One of the big problems is most people's education on child-birth is through TV/movies... and it's protrayed as an "emergency" for dramatic effect. It's also easier to start with "water breaking" because it's a definable event versus..waiting until contractions are so many mins apart...also to keep it dramatic usually something goes wrong...which adds to the fear based culture around birth.. all my friends/cousins etc who haven't had a kid all think the same thing....one of my friends is a VFF and we were camping with him and he told me he could rush me to the nearest hospital with his lights if the ambulance couldn't get me there in time. ;)


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#253 of 267 Old 05-27-2014, 01:36 PM
 
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Have you tried flooding him with knowledge?

Originally Posted by gitanamama View Post
 It made me realize how little information we as women actually get about this process..... so few of us ever get to witness another woman's birth (other than the scenes in movies) that it's no wonder so many women (and men) are totally clueless and freaked out by birth.

I would definitely flood your friend with knowledge @primalmom -- his comments may be annoying, but think of it as a public service-- you're educating him on the facts of life and a normal, natural process that has somehow become shrouded in mystery and fear. If he ever has kids, his wife will surely thank you for preparing him!
 

I'm pretty sure it would fall upon deaf or blocked ears (like he would literaly stick his fingers in his ears and shout "LALALALALLALALA" so he couldn't hear)... like I said, squeamish... he freaked out about a caterpillar on his car (oh my god, get it away, get it away!) when I did see him. :eyesroll - like I said... I had to bite my tongue to not say (somewhat related, truthfully) some rude things about him... 

 

I didn't realize how lucky I was to be so thoroughly and properly educated on sex, etc. until I was dating guys that had no idea how "getting pregnant" (or NOT getting pregnant in these cases) worked, other than it involved sex. yikes2.gif - I also had to watch birthing videos in my child and adolescent development classes because I had a somewhat nutty professor who was really into homebirth and waterbirth and tried to work that into his classes even if it wasn't reaaaaaally related.

 

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One of the big problems is most people's education on child-birth is through TV/movies... and it's protrayed as an "emergency" for dramatic effect.

 

one of my friends is a VFF and we were camping with him and he told me he could rush me to the nearest hospital with his lights if the ambulance couldn't get me there in time. ;)

truth - like Miranda's water breaking on Carrie's Manolos! (okay, I'm not actually a SATC fan, but I did hear about that one)

I do have a friend who gave birth on 95/128 in an ambulance, but... yeah, getting to the hospital is usually non-emergent with a normal labor, IRL.

I personally think it's funny when I don't want to travel a long distance and people reassure me "oh, don't worry, there's a great hospital near here, just in case!"  (um... yeah, but I'm giving birth at home if at all possible... and walking to a bus or train that takes over an hour to get to you when you have a car that will take 30-45 min for the same trip... just, can you please come to me this once?)

 

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My MIL on the other hand is a different story. She's had 6 kids of her own and has attended the births of two of my SIL, but somehow is still clueless. Every single time I picked up anything heavier than a feather she tells me not to do any lifting since she doesn't want to deliver the baby.

 

Yeah, the lifting/physical activity bit is one thing I look forward to not hearing anymore... I'm totally cleared by my midwives and docs to lift, bend, jog, etc... as long as I listen to my body and it's not uncomfortable or painful to me... also, if I go into labor at THIS point, it's totally fine anyway, but until the last few days, it hasn't felt like there's any danger of that, even while sprinting up the stairs or lifting weights or a 50lb box...

 

In other news, I had a checkup today with my midwives - I'm basically bored-ish (I mean there's stuff I could/should do, but I don't feel like it) and sitting at home waiting for something to happen, but very healthy in terms of the baby and pregnancy and whatnot... 

I blew up my tub, and I think it's going to have to go in a different spot than I'd hoped, but it's still fine...

I'm popping things in the freezer today, including pre-cooked meals and witch hazel soaked pads (I'm not sure if it's better to soak the organic ones or the "regular" ones - I have SO many supplies (mostly leftover from last time) it's a little nutty).

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#254 of 267 Old 05-27-2014, 06:48 PM
 
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Its funny I was thinking of that exact scene in Sex and the city when Activia mentioned the water dramatically breaking on TV. 

I had a chat with the ladies in my yoga class tonight afterwards in the locker room , all expecting their 1st and all completely clueless. One said her OB would want to induce her at 40 weeks, and she was like "oh yeah, you can say no I suppose"  , the other had her membranes swept today at 39 weeks so she wouldn't have to get induced later. I tried to encourage them not to get induced unless it is really necessary but it was surprising how clueless they were. sigh. 


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#255 of 267 Old 05-27-2014, 08:53 PM
 
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What are you guys doing for herbal postpartum pads? My husband or SIL have always made them for me but she can't find the recipe and was thinking about buying http://www.earthmamaangelbaby.com/postpartum-recovery/postpartum-bath-herbs-new.html these, but there's got to be a cheaper way. @PrimalMom , you're just soaking in witch hazel? Anyone else? I always get really swollen and love the cold pads.


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#256 of 267 Old 05-27-2014, 09:39 PM
 
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I bought a bottle of liquid aloe vera that I am going to mix with witch hazel to make pads but do you think I should just pour it on maxi-pads and freeze them , or do you think it would be too absorbent and the aloe and witch hazel would sink in too much? the other option would be to cut up an old towel and do the same mix and freeze them and then wear that inside a regular maxi pad. I didn't do this last time so its new to me. 


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#257 of 267 Old 05-27-2014, 09:44 PM
 
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I did take some herbal baths last time for perenium healing but my private midwives gave me the herbs, this time I am with public midwives so they can't supply anything "herbal" 


Canadian mom of Myron born in Japan, March 2007. Our second son born at home, wonderful HBAC in July 2010. I am a jeweller, I love creating things!

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#258 of 267 Old 05-27-2014, 10:21 PM
 
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I bought a bottle of liquid aloe vera that I am going to mix with witch hazel to make pads but do you think I should just pour it on maxi-pads and freeze them , or do you think it would be too absorbent and the aloe and witch hazel would sink in too much? the other option would be to cut up an old towel and do the same mix and freeze them and then wear that inside a regular maxi pad. I didn't do this last time so its new to me. 

I've had some combination of herbs wrapped in gauze and frozen, then I put those into a maxi pad/Depends/whatever. I haven't actually put anything into the maxi pad or frozen that.


Mama to Peter (3/8/04), Leo (3/12/06), Timothy (7/24/10), and boy #4 due on the summer solstice 2014
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#259 of 267 Old 05-28-2014, 05:07 AM
 
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my midwives recommend calendula, plantain leaf, yarrow and comfrey There's a great recipe here http://wellnessmama.com/8542/after-birth-sitz-bath-herbs/


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#260 of 267 Old 05-28-2014, 06:27 AM
 
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I have a similar sitz bath herbal mix... I actually didn't get to doing my pads last night... I'm not 100% sure how it'll work w/ the witch Hazel either... Guess I'll find out today.
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#261 of 267 Old 05-28-2014, 09:08 AM
 
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I made up some bath bags to use now and they can also be used after.  I love soaking in dead sea salts, plus I added some epsom salt as well to up the mag even more.  Then I added all kinds of herbs to it.  Lavender, chamomile, and catnip for the soothing/relaxing effect.  And then I added healing herbs like comfrey, uva ursi, calendula, nettles, echinacea, and a few others.  Then I sealed them up in heat sealable pot sized tea bags.  It made a ton!  About 9 pounds of salts to about a pound of dried herbs.  I soak in them 2-3 times a week already.  They are lovely.  My kids like to use them too.  :)  They have done wonders for my feet too!


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#262 of 267 Old 05-28-2014, 11:57 AM
 
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I love sitz baths! In his hands has a good one I order with my birth supplies and brew up, add to a big bath, and keep some in a big pitcher to fill up peribottles. Really love them-the smell always takes me back to the birth of my girls.
I've always just stuck a tucks pad on top of the maxipad- seems to work fine.
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#263 of 267 Old 05-28-2014, 12:33 PM
 
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I just poured straight witch hazel with a bit of water added into it, onto the pad, and then into the freezer. There's probably better options, but this worked! 


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#264 of 267 Old 05-28-2014, 06:48 PM
 
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My midwife instructed me to put honey on my pads right before use. It sounded like it would be a sticky mess, but it was actually great- soothing, cooling and somehow not at all sticky! (The mw said that when I started to feel the stickiness, it meant I had mostly healed and no longer needed the pads.)

I'm curious about the witch hazel-- doesn't it burn?? And freezing the pads doesn't make them hard and stiff?

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#265 of 267 Old 05-28-2014, 08:37 PM
 
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It felt a bit stingy at first, but totally worth it for how much the swelling decreased after I started using it. Kind of like a sting for 10 seconds type thing, where you feel like "oooh that feels like it's working!" lol 

 

I had always overnights pads with the gross gel stuff in them, so I think that kept them from freezing solid. I've got some of those left over this time, plus 7th generation pads that look like something my grandma would have worn, and then my cloth pads too. I haven't decided if I'll chance the liquid on the cloth pads, so I'll probably use up all of the always first, and then tentatively try the 7th gen, and save my cloth for once I'm feeling better and the flow has slowed. 


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#266 of 267 Old 05-28-2014, 09:35 PM
 
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Last time I used witch hazel spray after each time I peed , I don't remember it stinging and I healed up really quick.

Canadian mom of Myron born in Japan, March 2007. Our second son born at home, wonderful HBAC in July 2010. I am a jeweller, I love creating things!

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#267 of 267 Old 05-28-2014, 11:00 PM
 
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I can say from using the witch Hazel medicated pads that the witch Hazel doesn't burn, but I have yet to actually do my frozen pads, so I couldn't tell you if they're hard and stiff, but I'd imagine even I'd they are, they melt pretty quickly when you use them.
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