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October Moms Pregnant After Loss Thread

2K views 233 replies 30 participants last post by  HappyCianci 
#1 ·
I'm not going to type my whole story up right now (I'm on my phone), but I noticed there are quite a few of us who are expecting again after a loss, and thought it might be nice to have a place to share our hopes and fears.
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#127 ·
Seasiren, I wanted to add that in my first pregnancy, I had a couple of vaginal ultrasounds, and I bled after each one. Sometimes that cervix is just really sensitive (and with so much more blood during pregnancy, it just bleeds a bit easier--this is what I was told my by doc and mw). Hope you're hanging in there.
 
#128 ·
seasiren - I hope you get some clarifying information! And also that the bleeding is just bleeding and nothing else, like so many on here are suggesting it could be! But, I know how scary and upsetting any bleeding can be, and the time spent waiting to figure out what is going on is so hard.

Afm, I'm struggling a bit right now. I am trying to be very intentional about enjoying and appreciating the fact of this pregnancy right now (after all, whatever happens, I am pregnant right now), but it is so hard not to worry, especially as I approach the timeframe of my first loss. My second one was so late that I know I won't really relax at all until I make it past week 12...but that feels so far away. I think one of the hardest things is that I feel like I can't express worries to my partner because she is a very worst-case-scenario type of thinker. If I say, "hmmm...I don't feel as queasy as I did a couple weeks ago, I hope that isn't anything to be worried about," she immediately assumes it is a bad sign and that I'm going to have another miscarriage and then I end up having to reassure her, when that is not what I feel like doing. So I find myself hardly talking about how I'm feeling, physically or emotionally, just so I don't have to go down that path.

A particular worry I'm having today is that yesterday I was exposed to really extreme hot temperatures (in a glass blowing studio - furnaces and other equipment ranging from 1000-2000 degrees) I was only in front of the extreme heat for a couple minutes at a time, but sort of repeatedly over an hour or so. I can't stop worrying that raising my body temperature like that might have a negative impact. Even though I'm trying to not worry over things too much.

I'm very thankful for this forum to be able to celebrate joy and sorrow with people who have had similar experiences - right now it feels like my only outlet.

Gosh, I hope the rest of you are doing a bit better than I am right now..lots of support being sent your way!
 
#130 ·
lea2012, that sounds tough with your partner as you wan to be able to express all those niggling thoughts. maybe talky o someone else about it? i'm having the opposite problem, my husband just says 'it fine' to anything i say. he doesn't see why we should worry, which baffles me.

i did a sweat lodge when i was pregnant with my first! she was a surprise and that was about 4 weeks along. i was sooooo bone steaming hot and just about passed out. she's fine and a kid genius!

AFM i am soooo anxiously awaiting my second beta result from yesterday. i had dreams all night that i got the results. in one it was 80,000 and i was like OMG its twins!. i should get the results within the next few hours.
 
#131 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by seasiren View Post

I hate to bring in the bad news, but it looks like I am actually bleeding. It's so strange to see a heart beat one day then lose the pregnancy the next. I am not so sad yet, just in shock.
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seasiren. The bleeding really could be for any number of reasons so please, please try your best not to worry yourself sick. I do know that's like asking you to move Everest but if it takes the edge off even a little bit it's worth a try. Has it stopped?
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Originally Posted by ybutterfly View Post

mamacatsbaby - no worries! It was kind of a good crying feeling. And I didn't cry. So that's OK.
I love your row of images - it is so perfect!! I also want to start (re-start) meditation. I don't know why I am just so resistant to starting. Part of it is that I don't have a very good space to do it in or a routine for when to do it. I should just do it first thing when I get up in the morning. It doesn't need to take long. Maybe I will make a commitment to meditate all of March. Do you want to join me? With the intention, at least...
I had the good crying feeling too
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. Absolutely down for a March meditation commitment, thank you! I think that's exactly what I need right now
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Originally Posted by Redmom View Post

Ladies, today I had more bloodwork and all looked okay. The next milestone is on Monday when I have an ultrasound at 6 weeks. I'm so nervous, it seems like forever away. I feel like anything can happen. I really envy women who casually announce that they are 8 weeks p/g or 9 weeks p/g and they have no reason to believe that they won't stay pregnant.
Glad everything is looking A-Ok Redmom!
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Originally Posted by Kaliakra View Post

Seasiren, I am sorry you have the scary bleeding. I am going to keep hoping for you that it is harmless and just a needless scare.
Redmom, I know what you mean about the time and waiting, and everything seeming to take forever on this trip to parenthood. But next week will be here before we know it.
I had great news today. For the first time in my life, I saw and heard the beautiful and strong (147 bpm) heartbeat of a baby! It was like a miracle. I cried and my husband got emotional, and everything is just perfect! I really hope for smooth sailing from now on too. I have been feeling much calmer this pregnancy, but I still got very anxious waiting for this appointment.
Wonderful news Kaliakra! Nothing like seeing a nice, strong
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OregonMoon View Post

seasiren, when i was 10 weeks along with my son i had some bright red bleeding due to cervical trauma during a pelvic exam. I freaked out but an ultrasound showed a viable pregnancy. I hope that's all this is for you, just some harmless bleeding. Thinking of you. Hope to hear good news soon!

All is well with me. Had a dating ultrasound today. Looks like I'm 7 weeks. Heart beating away in there. It feels like I've been pregnant forever already!
Yay! Glad things are moving along for you OregonMoon!
Quote:
Originally Posted by jesepumpkin View Post

lea2012, that sounds tough with your partner as you wan to be able to express all those niggling thoughts. maybe talky o someone else about it? i'm having the opposite problem, my husband just says 'it fine' to anything i say. he doesn't see why we should worry, which baffles me.
i did a sweat lodge when i was pregnant with my first! she was a surprise and that was about 4 weeks along. i was sooooo bone steaming hot and just about passed out. she's fine and a kid genius!

AFM i am soooo anxiously awaiting my second beta result from yesterday. i had dreams all night that i got the results. in one it was 80,000 and i was like OMG its twins!. i should get the results within the next few hours.
Will be stalking your results jese!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lea2012 View Post

seasiren - I hope you get some clarifying information! And also that the bleeding is just bleeding and nothing else, like so many on here are suggesting it could be! But, I know how scary and upsetting any bleeding can be, and the time spent waiting to figure out what is going on is so hard.

Afm, I'm struggling a bit right now. I am trying to be very intentional about enjoying and appreciating the fact of this pregnancy right now (after all, whatever happens, I am pregnant right now), but it is so hard not to worry, especially as I approach the timeframe of my first loss. My second one was so late that I know I won't really relax at all until I make it past week 12...but that feels so far away. I think one of the hardest things is that I feel like I can't express worries to my partner because she is a very worst-case-scenario type of thinker. If I say, "hmmm...I don't feel as queasy as I did a couple weeks ago, I hope that isn't anything to be worried about," she immediately assumes it is a bad sign and that I'm going to have another miscarriage and then I end up having to reassure her, when that is not what I feel like doing. So I find myself hardly talking about how I'm feeling, physically or emotionally, just so I don't have to go down that path.

A particular worry I'm having today is that yesterday I was exposed to really extreme hot temperatures (in a glass blowing studio - furnaces and other equipment ranging from 1000-2000 degrees) I was only in front of the extreme heat for a couple minutes at a time, but sort of repeatedly over an hour or so. I can't stop worrying that raising my body temperature like that might have a negative impact. Even though I'm trying to not worry over things too much.

I'm very thankful for this forum to be able to celebrate joy and sorrow with people who have had similar experiences - right now it feels like my only outlet.

Gosh, I hope the rest of you are doing a bit better than I am right now..lots of support being sent your way!
I'm sorry you're finding it difficult to get support from your partner lea. I cosign with jese, in addition to this forum, is there anyone IRL you can open up with?

Me, I'm feeling extremely emotional and overwhelmed. Sometimes I'm optimistic, sometimes I'm sure if I make it to my first appt they'll tell me my baby stopped growing again. I just want to crawl in bed but I've got so...much...to...do
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#132 ·
yay! good results! 5w5d 46435 to 6w1d 67031. at this level the rate of rising is slower than doubling and this is right on target. doubling time of 90 hrs. yaaaaaaaaay! still hoping there is only one strong baby in there. i love twins, i am a twin. but i wouldn't want to have twins if its up to me, which it isn't. according to betabase the avg for singletons at 29dpo is 11000 and for twins it is 24000. yikes!

someone else here was waiting on serial beta results this friday, hope to hear from you too.
 
#133 ·
jesepumpkin - that is so great! What a relief to get good news after the waiting and anticipation. Thanks for your words of wisdom. Hearing about your sweat lodge and kid genius helps me worry less!

mamacatsbaby - thanks for the support. I'm feeling better today - was having a bit of a pity party last night. I talked to my partner about how I was feeling, which I think helped and was necessary. I think I may need to tell a couple friends about the pregnancy to increase my support network (so far only my small immediate family knows).
 
#134 ·
Fabulous jese!

Glad you were able to talk with your OH lea. And yeah, if going ahead and sharing with a few more people will help you get more of the support you need, go for it!
 
#137 ·
Oh blast, I'm supposed to get bloodwork on Monday morning then a 6 week u/s in the afternoon...but there is a snowstorm forecast.....6-10 inches......bahhhhh!!!! I really feel for people who are undergoing fertility treatments who've had to deal with these crazy snowstorms this winter........
 
#138 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by Redmom View Post

Oh blast, I'm supposed to get bloodwork on Monday morning then a 6 week u/s in the afternoon...but there is a snowstorm forecast.....6-10 inches......bahhhhh!!!! I really feel for people who are undergoing fertility treatments who've had to deal with these crazy snowstorms this winter........
We had a huge snowstorm the day of our 5 day transfer. There was no option to not go. Oh, and it was 2 hours away. It was scary. Cars on road crashed, cars off the road in ditches. We stayed in a hotel the night before and barely made it there. So glad we got in and out of Dr's office safely. It's all part of our babies' adventure story.
 
#139 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1blueridgemama View Post

We had a huge snowstorm the day of our 5 day transfer. There was no option to not go. Oh, and it was 2 hours away. It was scary. Cars on road crashed, cars off the road in ditches. We stayed in a hotel the night before and barely made it there. So glad we got in and out of Dr's office safely. It's all part of our babies' adventure story.
Oh my goodness...how scary .....I'm glad it worked out for you.

For me it's "emotionally inconvenient" if the u/s gets delayed rather than "mission critical".

My acupuncturist told me about one of her clients who needed to drive to a hospital being run on generators immediately after Hurricane Sandy for fertility treatments......
 
#140 ·
Hi ladies!
I'm new here and new to Mothering though I have lurked for years, ha! I'm unexpectedly expecting (pun intended
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) after two late first trimester losses. We had decided to stop trying after our last loss in October. We do have three children, I would say healthy but our oldest daughter is a heart transplant patient so that's not totally accurate. We've had our share of sadness and grief the last five years and I would so love the get to hold this rainbow in my arms but I feel the inevitability of another loss. No signs of m/c so far but my other two were missed m/c so there's little to no warning. :/ I'm glad there is a group here for me to join.
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#141 ·
wow a heart transplant!
:stillheart
we donated my son's organ and tissues when he was killed, sadly since it was bodily trauma they couldn't use most of his healthy perfect organs, but they did get his heart valves. I hope they're helping someone. Sending lots of sticky baby vibes your way!
 
#142 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by Redmom View Post

Oh my goodness...how scary .....I'm glad it worked out for you.

For me it's "emotionally inconvenient" if the u/s gets delayed rather than "mission critical".

My acupuncturist told me about one of her clients who needed to drive to a hospital being run on generators immediately after Hurricane Sandy for fertility treatments......
It turned out well but I certainly understand the emotional stress of having to reschedule it!!
 
#143 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by Right of Passage View Post

wow a heart transplant!
stillheart.gif
we donated my son's organ and tissues when he was killed, sadly since it was bodily trauma they couldn't use most of his healthy perfect organs, but they did get his heart valves. I hope they're helping someone. Sending lots of sticky baby vibes your way!
I am so so sorry for the loss of your precious son.
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No mother should ever have to endure that unbearable pain.
I also want to say thank you. I don't know if your recipient family has said thank you but I want to on their behalf. Donor families are the bravest and most selfless people on earth. When we got the call about our daughter's heart it was the most intense emotional moment of my life. She got a second chance at life, only days before it would have been too late, and yet in that moment I wept for the mother saying goodbye for the last time.
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You gave a gift more precious than any gift ever given and I pray the family remembers and honors his memory like we do our precious donor. I hope this was not painful for you to hear and that I'm not adding stones to your burden. I just want to bless you for your gift of life or life change.
 
#144 ·
welcome khalana, this is a great place to be as we experience the roller coaster of first trimester after loss. i had two MMC last year and am just hoping for a better outcome this time. taking it one day at a time. when are you due?
 
#147 ·
Welcome Khalana...but sorry that you "belong" to this club :).

I also had a MMC and it took me completely by surprise - no symptoms or any indication there was a problem. To add insult to injury, my body continued treating it like a viable pregnancy and my HCG levels continued to rise, and my body would not release the pregnancy, so I reluctantly opted for a D&C 6 weeks after the baby had stopped growing.

I'm 6 weeks now which is the same time the last baby died. It's unnerving because I don't really know if I'm "still" pregnant.....I have an u/s tomorrow so hopefully the results will be encouraging.
 
#148 ·
Redmom - good luck with your ultrasound tomorrow - so exciting! Mine was a MMC, too, last time. Long, awful story. I am feeling much more encouraged this time but very much looking forward to my u/s on Tuesday! (Though, seems like last time the embryo died sometime in week 8, and I will only be 7w5d on Tuesday).
 
#149 ·
I had a mmc this last fall...didn't find out until 14 weeks! That was my first scan. No visual signs of baby though. Huge yolk sac, SCH, and gestational sac, otherwise empty. Baby must have stopped growing VERY early on. Ended up with a D&C at 17 weeks. Hoping to wait until 20 weeks for my one and only scan like I did with my first 3 babies. I feel a good amount of symptoms for only being 6 weeks, so I'm hopeful. Big hugs to you all during this difficult period.
 
#150 ·
I had my u/s today and things aren't looking good. :(

The doc was able to see the sac but could barely make out the fetal pole. According to my LMP I'm 6 + 1, but the bloodwork suggested 5 + 4. The doc said it's possible my dates could be slightly off, but I know for sure when I had my last period and when I ovulated, and I have a pretty textbook cycle.

I'm returning next week for another u/s. I know there's always hope, but I feel absolutely gutted.
 
#151 ·
Hello Redmom, I am sorry your exam today was not more optimistic, but I do think there is still hope. Even with an exact ovulation date, could not there still be variation in when the embryo implanted? I really, really hope it was just too early at this point to see much else.
 
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