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October Moms Pregnant After Loss Thread

2K views 233 replies 30 participants last post by  HappyCianci 
#1 ·
I'm not going to type my whole story up right now (I'm on my phone), but I noticed there are quite a few of us who are expecting again after a loss, and thought it might be nice to have a place to share our hopes and fears.
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#177 ·
hope all is well in the morning, i am wishing away the anxiety and bleeding. sending you strength to deal with either a loss or the rest of first trimester! when i meditate i like the mantra om namah shivaya. i think it means wishing of obstacles to be removed/may i have an easier path. i'm not sure if that is really what it means, but that's what i remember from yoga. i feel like it clears my field. also receiving a loving or calming light wherever you need it is a nice one.
 
#178 ·
So sorry, seasiren! Wishing you good healing and a meaningful and fulfilling path forwards. xo.

lea2012 - Sorry to hear you are feeling so worried and stressed. Maybe it would help you feel more peaceful to do a loving-kindness (metta) meditation? It is my favorite. Here is a guided one -- I haven't listened to this myself (am at work!) but Sharon Salzburg is generally good.
 
#182 ·
Oh, SeaSiren, I'm so sorry this happened. Sending light and healing your way.

I am at six weeks two days. I haven't miscarried before, but I did lose my only child to leukemia last year at the age of three. I'm having such a hard time trusting in this pregnancy because I'm so terrified of losing another. My wife is so great about staying positive and looking forward, and I'm stuck in this pit of total anxiety. And to top it off, I've got some very light spotting today. I spotted with my son around the same time, and he was fine. I'm hoping I can blame the cough I've developed from a cold I have had this week irritating my cervix, but I am obviously nervous. I have my first appointment with my doctor Monday, so I'm hoping we see things are just fine. In the meantime, we had planned to travel out of town to tell my parents in person this weekend. Since it has been a rough year of loss for our whole family, we thought it would be nice; now I'm just lacking confidence (despite the nausea and fatigue and sore breasts and all the other symptoms reminding me I'm pregnant).
 
#183 ·
Thanks for the kind words and meditation suggestions - my freak out was short-lived and I'm doing much better. No more spotting at this time - hoping it was just a fluke. Appreciate having a space to voice my worries, I'm trying to not holding things in too much, which is hard since so few people irl know about this pregnancy. Although I'm starting to share the news with some other close friends, which I think will help.

Thinking of everyone else and hoping people are navigating the complicated emotions of early pregnancy okay and that you all have a lovely weekend!
 
#184 ·
I'm so sorry, seasiren! :( Lea, I also spotted - almost for a week, actually. It was nerve-wracking. I started coming on here because if that - I needed assurance and wanted to be surrounded by folks that truly understand that fear. I'm also so grateful for this community and this thread.
 
#185 ·
so glad that you are better Lea.

pity party for one today. i have been feeling sooooo lightheaded and my heart just pounds and my uterus pulses. this has been happening in a mild way most of the pregnancy but just flared in the past 2 days. i can barely stand up without feeling faint. I was at health show manning the booth and every time i stood up to talk to someone i felt like i was going backwards so i had to go home. i checked my blood pressure today and it is 96/46 so no wonder. i am trying to drink lots and eat salty things. when i had the miscarriages my uterus was pulsing during the loss so this triggers a lot for me. i have my ultrasound tomorrow and am playing mind games with myself. from getting myself convinced that the baby is probably not growing to being convinced i have twins. just silly really. so far so good and i'm sure there is just one and it's fine. feeling a lot of negative thoughts about the success of this pregnancy. gah. it is hard for me just to sit when the house is a wreck and i'm hungry all the time but i can't get up to get food. defeated! i was on the couch most of the day and the kids weren't happy. i was not a happy mom. i tried to make lunch and dry heaved all over the kitchen. thankfully my mom called and then took the kids out to play in the sun while i had a nice long nap.

that's my rant, thanks! i am so nervous about tomorrow. i'll update when i can.
 
#186 ·
Thanks Jesepumpkin. You're the ND here, but I'm wondering if you've checked your iron levels or are taking any extra iron? The dizziness and fatigue you describe reminds me of how I felt in my most iron-deficient times. I hope your ultrasound goes well and that you're feeling a bit better today!
 
#187 ·
I had another miscarriage. Today's ultrasound confirmed it. I'm in complete shock and incredible sadness. The baby I lost last year was due in May, this one in October. I'm overwhelmed with sadness that I'll never hold either of this. Wishing all of you the very best for a safe pregnancy and healthy baby.
 
#189 ·
Redmom, I think I know how you are feeling today. I had two back-to-back losses. It is stunning. I am so sorry. All I can say is go ahead and indulge yourself - right away. With the first one I got an expensive bottle of red wine (which I had been craving) and some good cheese and sat on the couch with my husband and sobbed my eyes out. I am not saying that was an exactly healthy thing to do but for me it was what I felt like doing and so I did it. The second time I cuddled up in bed and watched the documentary Happy and then lolled around in bed a great deal more.

So I say take a few minutes and think about whatever it is that you have a "taste for", so to speak, and then go for it no matter what. You are in a state of hunger and longing. Fill it with some kind of experience that will nourish you. Hugs!!!!!
 
#193 ·
oh dear, red mom that is horrible news. i am so sorry. i send you and your family peace and strength. i've been there and i second the indulging

Lea, yes i am an ND but i'm not that good at doctoring myself. my iron was great before i got pregnant but i did swing by my office this morning and pick up some iron, another b6/b12 shot, and some homeopathics. feeling a bit better today.

I had my ultrasound today and good news! one baby growing perfectly at 7w5d and strong heartbeat. wow so this really might happen! i am thrilled that the baby is okay and that i don't have twins!
 
#197 ·
I still have those who lost their sweet babies in my heart
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My worrying got me today. I'm 8 weeks 5 days. Been feeling pretty darn good, not very nauseous, boobs less sore (still very swollen though). Feeling kinda like I did with my miscarriage. I called Keiser (my insurance)advice nurse. She said I could come right in for a quick u/s. Within 45 minutes from my call I saw everything was good. Baby moving around, heartbeat sounded normal. Gonna try and keep calm from here out, get in touch with baby, trust. So challenging for me being kind of a control freak.
 
#198 ·
yay great news oregonmoon. so hard not to psych yourself out. i did it to myself over and over already. with my healthy pregnancies i always felt better just after 8 weeks. so i'm hopeful i'll be feeling great soon!
 
#199 ·
Redmom, I am really, deeply sorry for your loss. No one can handle that much heartbreak without feeling utterly down. I am hoping for healing for you in the days to come.
 
#200 ·
I feel so discouraged today. I tried finding the heartbeat with the Doppler today. I'm almost ten weeks and I found it at this point with my last m/c. I feel pretty sure it's over.
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I have another u/s but not for two weeks. I don't know how I'm going to wait that long for confirmation.... This really sucks. Three missed m/c in just over a year. My due date for the last one is coming up in April too so I could end up with another d&c around that date... It feels so cruel that it is happening again since we weren't even trying this time.
 
#201 ·
Khalana - that does sound discouraging...but could it just be a little early to catch a heartbeat on a doppler? I think if I were in your position I would push to try to get an earlier appointment for an ultrasound, if I could. I hope you get some more information sooner, rather than later. I know how hard it is to be hopeful at all after recurrent losses, but I'll keep my fingers crossed that maybe it was just a little early.
 
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