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#1 of 21 Old 07-29-2014, 01:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Books We Are Reading

I thought I'd start a thread for any fellow bibliophiles out there
We could post what we've been reading and what we enjoy or are learning from that book.

I'd say out of the books I've read so far, there are three that stand out:
1). The Thinking Woman's Guide To Better Birth by Henci Goer
I loved reading and learning from this book. It has really helped me be informed and secure in my pregnancy and birth choices.
2). Breastfeeding Made Simple: Seven Natural Laws For Nursing Mothers by Nancy Mohrbacher, IBCLC
Read several breastfeeding books, but this has by far been my favorite and most useful. Nancy has made me feel confident in following natural cues, trouble shooting, and being able to have a wonderful breastfeeding relationship with my baby.
3). Redeeming Childbirth: Experiencing His Presence in Pregnancy, Labor, and Beyond by Angie Tolpin
As a Christian, this has been a great book to read throughout my pregnancy to prepare spiritually for birth and motherhood.

What have you been reading?
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#2 of 21 Old 07-29-2014, 09:49 PM
 
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I like Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and Spiritual Midwifery. Honestly though, I've read very little in the way of preggo books this time. My focus has been on studying unassisted childbirth and reading lots of birth stories. I like indiebirth.com and birthwithoutfearblog.com, to name a few.

Anna: married to my best friend (12/2005), mommy to DD (10/2006) and DD (12/2008). Thrilled to be expecting our third and last sometime in October'14! It's a boy!

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#3 of 21 Old 07-30-2014, 07:29 AM
 
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Books We Are Reading

The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer was my handbook for my previous pregnancy and this one. I think that's the best book if you're the "sciency" type.

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth was really upsetting to me. It's beautifully written and inspirational...but ONLY if you have a low-risk pregnancy. It made me feel like a healthy birth in a hospital environment was unattainable. I caution any of my high-risk friends away from Ina May, especially if their risks make them ineligible for midwifery care in my state.

Our Babies, Ourselves: How Biology and Culture Shape the Way We Parent by Meredith Small was FASCINATING. I have an interest in anthropology and parenting, and this was a fascinating look at parenting from an anthropological viewpoint. If you're interested in more baby science/anthropology, also check out NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children and Brain Rules for Baby: How to Raise a Smart and Happy Child from Zero to Five.

Raising a Happy, Unspoiled Child by Burton L. White was a lot longer than it needed to be, but I used the suggestions in it and feel like I've managed to raise a delightful almost-3-year-old so far. You can skip reading the book though---here's everything you need to know from it:

1. from 5.5 months until crawling (approx 7.5 months), initiate social interaction & keep baby entertained.
2. From crawling through "me, mine, no" (approx 14 months) allow extensive home exploration, don't fuss over minor injuries, punish by restricting movement (pin arms for 15-30 seconds).
3. From 14 - 22 months, baby will be testing limits (ie power struggles). Give baby lots of opportunities to make decisions, pick your battles, calmly/patiently assert authority and dont back down. Punish by banishing child from interacting with mama, but not a "time out."

I read several breastfeeding books (The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding) before my son was born, but honestly breastfeeding is SO individual and instinctual...I think a person could skip reading anything other than "Join a breastfeeding support group (Facebook, internet forum, La Leche League, whatever). Do what comes naturally, and when in doubt ask your support group. Know that almost ALL breastfeeding hiccups can be overcome w/ the right support."

I'm also doing the Hypnobabies Home Study Course, so I'm reading the materials associated with that.
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#4 of 21 Old 07-30-2014, 10:25 AM
 
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Raising a Happy, Unspoiled Child by Burton L. White was a lot longer than it needed to be, but I used the suggestions in it and feel like I've managed to raise a delightful almost-3-year-old so far. You can skip reading the book though---here's everything you need to know from it:

1. from 5.5 months until crawling (approx 7.5 months), initiate social interaction & keep baby entertained.
2. From crawling through "me, mine, no" (approx 14 months) allow extensive home exploration, don't fuss over minor injuries, punish by restricting movement (pin arms for 15-30 seconds).
3. From 14 - 22 months, baby will be testing limits (ie power struggles). Give baby lots of opportunities to make decisions, pick your battles, calmly/patiently assert authority and dont back down. Punish by banishing child from interacting with mama, but not a "time out."
Thanks for summarizing this, it's fascinating! Just one question - what is the different between restricting access to mom and a timeout? Isnt that essentially what a timeout does? What is he advocating to avoid?

Myself- I am currently reading Birthing from Within by Pam England. It's a wonderful book for people like me who tend to get stuck in my head, to think too much, to desire control. It's great for learning to let go and trust the wisdom of your body and all the mothers who have come before - and being open to accepting and loving your birth, no matter how it goes. It is just the book I need to be reading.
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#5 of 21 Old 07-30-2014, 10:46 AM
 
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Thanks for summarizing this, it's fascinating! Just one question - what is the different between restricting access to mom and a timeout? Isnt that essentially what a timeout does? What is he advocating to avoid?
It's been awhile since I read the book, but I *think* the point was a "time out" is where you put your child in a designated place where they're not allowed to do anything, and what he's advocating is walking away from your child, basically sending the message: "You can continue playing, but I won't play WITH you when you hit / scream / etc."

I really liked the basic gist of the advice, and have adapted it to fit my own parenting style. I'm a little biased, but I think my son is the most delightful 2 year old I've ever met.
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#6 of 21 Old 07-30-2014, 12:38 PM
 
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LOL... I think I'm the only crunchy-ish mom who doesn't like Henci Goer. I found her tone so condescending and paternalistic it was hard to focus on the actual information. But I also hate Dr. Sears (the elder), and just thought Birthing from Within was goofy, so I guess I'm all kinds of odd. I remember mostly liking Ina May, but it's been years and years since I read any of them. (So as not to sound all negative, I found Nurture Shock fascinating!) I'm not reading anything pregnancy-specific this time around. I just don't feel like there's much I need to know, absent complications. (And I have a toddler who doesn't approve of mommy reading non-picture books.) I will probably start digging in The Big Book of Birth soon. LOVED that my last pregnancy, and wish I'd found it sooner.
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#7 of 21 Old 07-30-2014, 01:42 PM
 
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@arialvetica , that makes sense. Thanks for clarifying. It seems more respectful to the child and more effective than trying to get them to sit in some arbitrary place and having a power struggle over it. Of course, this is my first so what do I know yet?

@monkeyscience -- I can definitely see why you would think Birthing from Within was "goofy!" It's not for everyone... in fact, I think most people would laugh their way through the suggested activities. For me, I am really able to connect with it. I guess that's why they make so many different books!
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#8 of 21 Old 07-30-2014, 07:14 PM
 
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I've read several Dr. Sears books: the vaccine book and the birth book.

Also reading: Gentle Birth Choices by B. Harper

Signing Smart with Babies and Toddlers by M. Anthony- because I was delayed in speech as a kid and very frustrated by it, so plan to do signing with this baby to help with communication and attachment, just in case my baby also has speech problems. Also, might as well put all those signing classes I took in high school to good work! The book is for parents to help teach signing to hearing kids. Advice is practical and good. My fav part is advice about what signs may look like when used by a baby/toddler.
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#9 of 21 Old 07-30-2014, 07:47 PM
 
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My son's milk sign was really funny - it was more like rubbing his thumb over his fingers (money, money, money!) than a squeezing action. I really liked the Dr. Sears vaccine book. It was written by the son of the "original" Dr. Sears.
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#10 of 21 Old 08-01-2014, 12:41 PM
 
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I know this thread is for books, but if you want to teach baby signing, definitely check out the Baby Signing Time video series by Rachel Coleman. They are cute and catchy...and they REALLY worked for my son. He was an early signer, which led to him being an early talker. Now he's a very articulate little guy, but signing is still part of our daily family life. Just yesterday we were at a restaurant and I excused myself to use the restroom. My son yelled across several tables "Where are you going mama?!" and it was nice to just sign "potty" back at him, instead of ignoring him (hurting his feelings) or yelling my destination (and embarrassing myself).
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#11 of 21 Old 08-02-2014, 05:18 AM
 
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reading non pregnancy non birth books right now. mostly parenting stuff.

Siblings Without Rivalry by Adele Faber: like it so far. Will try to apply. My 2 and 5 y.o. fight, but it is just the beginning of it, so I have to mostly work on prevention then fixing.

also, at the same time reading:
Adventures in tandem nursing by Hilary Flower.
I need to get ready to this adventure in 2 months. Haven't tandem nursed Ds1 and Ds2 really, so this is new to me.

this time around I am more nervous about parenting then birth or pregnancy. I don't have a lot of examples of families with 3 kids around me, so I am worried one of my kids won't get all the necessary attention.
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#12 of 21 Old 08-02-2014, 05:28 PM
 
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Siblings Without Rivalry by Adele Faber: like it so far. Will try to apply. My 2 and 5 y.o. fight, but it is just the beginning of it, so I have to mostly work on prevention then fixing.
I read that too! I'll paste my notes below, in case you (or someone else) finds them helpful. I only have one "outside baby" so far, so I have no experience implementing the tips from the book...but as a child who was locked in SERIOUS rivalry with my sibling for over 20 years this was a topic that I wanted to be proactive on.

Quote:
Most important take away: focus on each child as an individual. Give each child quality time, don't compare, don't pigeonhole children into roles, don't discuss siblings during special alone time with each child.

Instead of dismissing negative feelings about a sibling, acknowledge the feelings. (You don't like my spending so much time with her.)

Give the children in fantasy what they don't have in reality. (You wish your brother would show you some loyalty.)

Help children channel their hostile feelings into symbolic or creative outlets. (When you are so mad you want to hit something, hit the pillow.)

Stop hurtful behavior. Show how angry feelings can be discharged safely. Refrain from attacking the attacker. (No hitting. Tell your sister how angry you are with words.)

Allow children to have to feelings. (Sometimes you love your brother and sometimes he annoys you.)

Avoid favorable comparisons. Describe what you see or feel. (I see you picked up your blocks and your truck and you even put away the puzzle pieces.)

Avoid unfavorable comparisons. Describe the problem. (There's a little milk dripping down the front of your shirt.)

When tempted to compare, describe what you see, describe what you feel, and describe what needs to be done. (I see your jacket on the floor. That bothers me. This jacket belongs in the closet.)

Instead of worrying about giving equal amounts, focus on each child's individual needs. (Windchild points out any qualities such as sibling received more pancakes, asked child if he still hungry and how many pancakes he wants.)

Instead of claiming equal love show children how they are loved it uniquely. (Each of you is special to me in your own way. You are my only [Child's Name]. In the world there's not another like you.)

Equal time can feel like less. Give time in terms of need. (Acknowledge the child who wants your attention. Explain why the first child needs your attention, and assure the interrupter that when you're finished you will give the interrupter your full undivided attention too.)

Don't give your attention to the aggressor in an altercation. Attend to the injured party instead.

No more bullies. Instead of the parents treating the child as a bully, the parents can help him see that he's capable of being civil. When the other siblings treat him as a bully, the parents can give the siblings a new view of their brother. When the child sees himself as a bully, the parent can help him see his capacity for kindness.

No more victims. Instead of the parent treating the child as a victim, the parent can show her how to stand up for herself. When the other siblings treat her as a victim, the parent can give the siblings a new view of their sister. When the child sees herself as a victim the parent can help her see her potential strength.

No more problem children. Instead of focusing on children's disabilities, focus on their abilities. Encourage ability.

Responding helpfully when kids are fighting. Understand and summarize the problem. Express confidence that the children can come up with a solution that feels fair to each of them. Leave them alone to sort it out.

When the fighting is heading toward hurting, describe what you see. Established limits. Separate them.

In a fight over property rights, the parent can support one side but leave the final decision up to the children. (Well it is your item and your decision. But if you want to work something out with your sister that would be between the two of you.)
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#13 of 21 Old 08-07-2014, 06:35 PM
 
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If we're talking non-pregnancy parenting books... All Joy and No Fun by Jennifer Senior is one I'm currently reading. I can't say if I like it, exactly, or not, but I can say it resonates with me. It's based around the conclusion that nearly all studies on the subject have come to: kids make you less happy, and they make your marriage relationship less good. But we still have kids. I will say I think she's missing out on some of the factors that contribute to this situation, but I still am finding it an intriguing read. I'm not sure whether or not to recommend it to first-time pregnant moms. It will be interesting to see how I feel about it when I finish.

Also, for all you Henci Goer fans (and for anyone at all, really), I now have a new favorite website about labor/birth practices: http://evidencebasedbirth.com/. The articles on it are often long enough to be book chapters. Like Goer's book, it is all about the actual research on various practices. But it's more up-to-date and decidedly more neutral in tone. So far I've read the articles on big babies, Vitamin K shots, and intermittent ascultation. Oh, and GBS treatment. All have been excellently written, and have given me a lot to think about. I went into some of them already thinking along the lines of the article's recommendation, others, not, and they were good either way.

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#14 of 21 Old 08-08-2014, 07:11 PM
 
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I'm reading When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets or Quads and a book about breastfeeding, mostly the twin nursing sections as I nursed my son for 2+ years. First book has been a great resource for us as this pregnancy, combined with my age, has been quite an adventure. A great one, at that .
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#15 of 21 Old 08-09-2014, 05:34 AM
 
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Also, for all you Henci Goer fans (and for anyone at all, really), I now have a new favorite website about labor/birth practices: http://evidencebasedbirth.com/.
LOVE that website! I wish I had found it with my last pregnancy! It really is like an up-to-date version of the Henci Goer book.
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#16 of 21 Old 08-09-2014, 06:10 PM
 
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[QUOTE=monkeyscience;17900834]If we're talking non-pregnancy parenting books... All Joy and No Fun by Jennifer Senior is one I'm currently reading. I can't say if I like it, exactly, or not, but I can say it resonates with me. It's based around the conclusion that nearly all studies on the subject have come to: kids make you less happy, and they make your marriage relationship less good. But we still have kids. I will say I think she's missing out on some of the factors that contribute to this situation, but I still am finding it an intriguing read. I'm not sure whether or not to recommend it to first-time pregnant moms.

I'm a first-time pregnant mom, and I tried browsing through All Joy and No Fun. I didn't like it :-/ Actually, I guess after thinking about it again, I'm looking for some encouragement.
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#17 of 21 Old 08-10-2014, 10:25 AM
 
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Thanks for this thread~
Im looking for a OLD birthing book It was oversized and Yellow I think with a picture of a woman on the cover.. I Thought it was called well woman or natural well woman or something similar???
It was VERY informative and cited many ancient oractices plus medical info on everything imaginable. I gave it away 10 years ago as I often do and have no clue what the the title was

anything ring a bell?

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#18 of 21 Old 08-12-2014, 07:02 PM
 
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I finished All Joy and No Fun today. I have to say, I think the book needs to be read in its entirety to be appreciated. The last chapter (Joy) is powerful, but it does need the context of the book. It's an interesting book - it is really about what is, a little bit about why, but it's not really a book about what should be, or how to change things. It's more like a memoir of modern American parenting.

I'm still iffy on if I would recommend it to a first-time mom, not because I think it's unnecessarily discouraging. Frankly, I think early motherhood would have been easier if my expectations had been different/lower. Actually, ALL of motherhood thus far. But I'm not really sure it's something you can appreciate ahead of experiencing it. If anything, I think people are likely to say, "Oh, THOSE people had those stresses/issues/unhappinesses, but WE are having sunshine and flowers over here!" Anyway, I am glad I read the book.

Monkey (30) + Pirate (28) = a forever family (5/10) - Baby Bird (8/12), our long-awaited first, and one (9/13 @ 7w 6d); PCOS
*4***8***12***16***20***24***28***32***36**40** Oct 2014 - it's a
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#19 of 21 Old 08-14-2014, 03:27 PM
 
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Started and quickly discarded Your Second Pregnancy. Besides the inaccurate information on fertility and conception, and their inane comments on circumcision (seriously, cleaning an intact penis IS NOT HARD - especially in the infant/toddler years when it is still fused), it just generally seemed to lack any truly useful information. The only pros were that it was at least somewhat supportive of nursing through pregnancy and tandem nursing, and at least acknowledged babies could be born in non-hospital settings. Like most mainstream pregnancy books, it was fairly irritating, but without the benefit of offering information that was new to me.

I'm now reading Natural Birth in the Hospital. At least, I'm pretty sure that's the name.
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#20 of 21 Old 08-18-2014, 05:49 PM
 
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Im reading hypnobirthing the original methos by michelle leclaire oneil I seem to be the only person that Ive known who does this methos LOL it works amazingly

I highly reccomend birthing from within also
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#21 of 21 Old 08-18-2014, 06:45 PM
 
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My partner (and I) are reading a wonderful book by Penny Simkin called "The Birth Partner: A Complete Guide to Childbirth for Dads, Doulas, and All Other Labor Companions." It is super informative, easy-to-read, and provides excellent dad-speak, example: "What you might be feeling . . . " lol, which is great for my husband because sometimes I wonder if he's able to identify his emotions, or even aware of them! And it has massages and things for different stages of labor, describes all sorts of decisions that might have to be made in emergency circumstances and the pros and cons of different medical interventions, how to best support a mother in labor, etc. It's just a wonderful book.
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