Ugh, I was so annoyed at my midwife appointment the other day, I think I'm just feeling a bit sensitive... This is my DH's first biological child and she turned to him and told him how unprepared he might be for the reality of birth and said to gain some exposure watching videos and reading books or maybe even taking a class. It was a bit insulting because he's super involved and already has been looking into things, he also knows me really well and can already assume that his role is to support and stay kind of in the background--not uninvolved, just, I prefer to have my space in general until I get to the pushing. We've discussed all of this. He knows my previous birth stories, what I liked, what I didn't. At this point in the game, especially since he's been at every appointment thus far, I'm just kind of surprised that she would really assume that we haven't already been preparing for this.
It's honestly perfectly reasonable advice, and typical, too, but it felt more insulting because how little involvement my ex had in anything--and it's the same midwives so she's very aware of it. I swear he didn't read or watch anything, neither of us took a birth class, and oh, on top of it, we just trusted ourselves and our midwife to get through the experience, and we ended up being just fine. I think it's kind of sad the bad rap that men get for being uninvolved, uninterested or just plain grossed out by birth itself. It can certainly be true, but just...ugh. I know, I'm hearing myself rant and I'm making a mountain out of an ANTHILL (it's not even a molehill), I'm just feeling frustrated.
It also didn't help that none of the US techs or midwives seem to genuinely believe how early I felt movements, or how consistently I feel them even now, or my own palpation skills of my own uterus (I was an LMP once upon a time so I am very familiar with my own anatomy). It's very frustrating when people kind of look at you like, "Oh yeah? That's nice that you think that you know your own body." It's like when your baby smiles and people tell you it's just gas. Not everything is gas, people! On my third pregnancy I think I am aware of the difference between gas bubbles and a tiny alien using my bladder as a punching bag, thanks!
Ugh, rant over. Thanks for the vent!