Anyone not find out with #1 but find out with #2? - Mothering Forums

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Old 06-18-2014, 05:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Anyone not find out with #1 but find out with #2?

We didn't find out the sex of the baby with our first, and we loved having that surprise. However, we've been talking about finding out with this pregnancy, but I'm worried I'll regret not saving the surprise. Our lives are so much crazier now with a two year old, and we feel like finding the sex out might help us bond wth this baby more. There are also the practical points of being able to sort out clothes, and get the kids' shared room together. Thoughts! Any regrets either way?

Mama to a DD, born 5.20.2012

Expecting #2 in Early November 2014!

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Old 06-19-2014, 05:37 AM
 
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If you think it would create a stronger bond, find out. Or try this. Have your OB/midwife write down the sex and put it in an envelope. Have you heard of "Gender Reveal" parties? You would go to a bakery and have them make a cake or cupcakes, and the filling be blue or pink. And maybe create some fun games that involve predicting the sex. It's pretty much a fun celebration and surprise to make it a bit more exciting. If you're not afraid to go on pinterest, there are lots of great ideas for Gender Reveal parties.

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Old 06-20-2014, 06:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, we found out today that it's a boy! I'm glad we chose to know this time, it's fun to experience it both ways.

Mama to a DD, born 5.20.2012

Expecting #2 in Early November 2014!

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Old 06-21-2014, 11:04 AM
 
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Hooray, congrats on your baby boy! And welcome to the boy team!! (I don't say team blue because I don't believe in boy/girl colors, lol) We found out this time (my first, his second) and I kinda wish we'd waited. This is DH's second boy and he really wanted a girl (I preferred a girl too), so it's been kind of tough. I know the second he's born it won't matter anymore, so I do regret finding out a little bit now. I had a few sad, teary days and felt like the worst mom ever for being sad after we found out. Though I'm definitely doing better now, I regret the loss of the mystery. I think we will definitely be waiting until birth next time, don't want to go through this again!
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Old 06-21-2014, 01:36 PM
 
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We did not find out with #1 & loved the surprise. We accidentally found out with #2 at 25 ish weeks. It did help us bond with baby, and although I missed the surprise part of the birth, it was no less exciting and sweet. I will say that if we go for #3 we probably won't find out....
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Old 06-22-2014, 10:57 AM
 
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My thoughts are that you are going to be surprised one way or another....might as well have the ability to plan! I hate not knowing and had planned to find out with each of my kids. With my first, I found out but my hubby didn't want to know...THAT WAS REALLY HARD. With my second, I told my midwife to write it down and put it in an envelope and give it to me so my hubby and I could find out the same time (since he couldn't be at the u/s)....but she forgot and I was too shy to ask her about it.....so we didn't find out for sure....but I *knew* for certain it was a boy. With the 3 others, I did find out...but not typically until the last month....so I have spent most of the pregnancy not knowing for certain (although normally having a strong feeling that is typically correct). But with my latter children, it didn't matter as much what I was having...since I already had everything for both genders that I needed. Although I still wanted to know...lol. But I typically only have one u/s and have it later in the pg so I can make sure baby is in right position with no issues prior to birth.
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Old 06-22-2014, 01:46 PM
 
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We found out all three times. We were going to do the 20 week scan either way so might as well find out. I agree with BlessedOne, it's still a surprise at 20 weeks but this way I (we) can plan!
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Old 06-30-2014, 04:06 PM
 
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We didn't find out with #1 or #2 but did with #3 , #4 , and #5 . #3 was eventually a loss, so my thoughts now on the find out/don't find out is that I don't know how long any baby will be with me, so I want to know as much as I can about him/her while he/she is with me.

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Old 07-01-2014, 09:02 AM
 
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Waiting4 years, I know what you mean. I am having our third girl and I cried. I felt horrible for crying. My friend told me not to pick on myself, it's ok not to have expectations met. I went shopping the next day for the cutest girl clothes and I felt so much better. It also helps now that we picked an awesome name. The boy my dh wanted was far from my favorite, but I felt compelled to consent b/c he loves the name and I just wanted a baby!

Don't beat yourself up, all will work out.
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Old 07-06-2014, 08:27 PM
 
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with my 3rd child I had sort of wanted a girl over a boy....but had a boy. At first I was slightly disappointed, but that feeling left quickly. Now I thoroughly enjoy having two boys in a row because they can practically share clothes! I got my girl the next time. My 5th I was really wanting twins (a boy and a girl)...but was somewhat disappointed to find out it was only one and a boy. But again, I got over it quickly...now I am glad that my kids are in the order they are! With this one I think it would be nice if it was a girl, but I am trying not to let my heart be set one way or another. A girl would even out the boy girl ratio and I haven't had a baby girl in over 5 years! But I will be happy either way!
At our u/s gender couldn't be made out for certain...but to me it looks more like a boy. =S
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