I think my husband may be suffering from delusions, because he just posted a Facebook status about how tired he is because he's working on so many projects and the baby's coming soon. It takes all of my restraint not to post a smart ass comment, especially as he sleeps, despite having promised to help me finish digging out the sod for my pumpkin patch today, which he listed as one of his "projects"! Seriously, it's a 200 square foot plot that I've gotten two thirds of the way done entirely by myself, he says he'll help me with the rest, and then tells the world that HE is working so freaking hard on a pumpkin patch. But this is not really about pumpkins.
We own our own business. We have 3 locations. I run one, he runs one, and a friend/employee runs the third. Aside from that, he is in charge of community events/networking, promotion, and maintenance stuff. I'm in charge of the books, taxes, ordering, employee stuff, and anything else that requires being organized. So that seems fairly balanced right? But I'm the only one who does anything around the house. He helped out a bit during the first trimester, but because I was so tired and sick, things got backed up. I've almost caught up on laundry, but we have dishes that seriously have been sitting for months. I do some every day so it doesn't get worse, but I'm tired, I get busy with work stuff, and honestly I'm unmotivated because I feel alone in a situation that I feel like we should be tackling together. There are other projects around the house that need to be done too, mainly involving clutter, and I really want to nest, but I barely have time to keep things you know, not filthy. I can't even get him to take over litter box duties while I'm pregnant! So a couple of weeks ago I broke down, I told him I needed help, and he basically told me to screw off. He got very defensive, saying that he does a lot and works very hard and I don't appreciated anything. In the end he did agree that the place needs to be nice for the baby, and we made a plan to spend an hour before work every day doing some work around the house together, but it seems he agreed just to appease me, because nothing's happening. I get up and start getting things done, he sleeps another hour, then grabs his phone and lays in bed on Facebook for another hour, then rolls out of bed and is like "sorry I gotta get to work like, now" and off he goes.
Anyway, things have been really pleasant between us since that "agreement" so I haven't really been pushing things, just kinda trudging along with the housework, and doing my own thing. Now the guy who runs our third store is quitting, and he's been doing a crappy job for some time now so the store needs a whole overhaul. We just had to fire another guy there as well. So hubby tells me I need to get in there, fix things, hire a new staff, and train them. Unfortunately he's right. I seem to be the only one who can effectively train people, and my store runs great despite me only actually being there a couple days a week. It's a gift and a curse I guess. So I told him fine, do some interviews, hire some guys, and I'll tackle this project; my last one because I'm about to become a stay at home mom. Last night he tells me "I need help. I have so much going on with the community events. I need you to do the hiring and take care of that store ASAP." Dude. No. Just no. I have to draw the line somewhere.
BTW this wasn't my business endeavor. I've dedicated the last 5 years to helping him achieve his dreams and I don't regret any of it, but now it's time for mine. All I've ever wanted was to be a mother and it's happening, so I'm phasing myself out. This isn't new information to him. This was all discussed at great lengths and well planned out. Anyway, a good chunk of his "work" right now is playing video games with a bunch of guys, going to tournaments, planning and promoting our big upcoming tournament, and a seemingly endless level of Facebook interaction that he calls networking. It's all very good for the business, I suppose, but I wouldn't call it essential. So I have very little sympathy for his being tired and overworked right now...
I've been holding out hope that he's really just trying to get in as much fun stuff as he can before the baby comes, and that this is a phase that will pass. He tends to go through phases. But it's frustrating at the moment. He's terrified about being a dad, like I think every guy is, and probably also really worried about how the business is going to run without me (I will still work from home, but won't be a real presence in the stores anymore). So, that was my rant. Someone tell me this is a normal adjustment period for any husband/wife dynamic, and we'll deal. Or give me tips on what to do with him after I smack him in the head a few times... Either one. Lol. Thanks for listening. I know this was agonizingly long. I guess I really needed to vent.
We own our own business. We have 3 locations. I run one, he runs one, and a friend/employee runs the third. Aside from that, he is in charge of community events/networking, promotion, and maintenance stuff. I'm in charge of the books, taxes, ordering, employee stuff, and anything else that requires being organized. So that seems fairly balanced right? But I'm the only one who does anything around the house. He helped out a bit during the first trimester, but because I was so tired and sick, things got backed up. I've almost caught up on laundry, but we have dishes that seriously have been sitting for months. I do some every day so it doesn't get worse, but I'm tired, I get busy with work stuff, and honestly I'm unmotivated because I feel alone in a situation that I feel like we should be tackling together. There are other projects around the house that need to be done too, mainly involving clutter, and I really want to nest, but I barely have time to keep things you know, not filthy. I can't even get him to take over litter box duties while I'm pregnant! So a couple of weeks ago I broke down, I told him I needed help, and he basically told me to screw off. He got very defensive, saying that he does a lot and works very hard and I don't appreciated anything. In the end he did agree that the place needs to be nice for the baby, and we made a plan to spend an hour before work every day doing some work around the house together, but it seems he agreed just to appease me, because nothing's happening. I get up and start getting things done, he sleeps another hour, then grabs his phone and lays in bed on Facebook for another hour, then rolls out of bed and is like "sorry I gotta get to work like, now" and off he goes.
Anyway, things have been really pleasant between us since that "agreement" so I haven't really been pushing things, just kinda trudging along with the housework, and doing my own thing. Now the guy who runs our third store is quitting, and he's been doing a crappy job for some time now so the store needs a whole overhaul. We just had to fire another guy there as well. So hubby tells me I need to get in there, fix things, hire a new staff, and train them. Unfortunately he's right. I seem to be the only one who can effectively train people, and my store runs great despite me only actually being there a couple days a week. It's a gift and a curse I guess. So I told him fine, do some interviews, hire some guys, and I'll tackle this project; my last one because I'm about to become a stay at home mom. Last night he tells me "I need help. I have so much going on with the community events. I need you to do the hiring and take care of that store ASAP." Dude. No. Just no. I have to draw the line somewhere.
BTW this wasn't my business endeavor. I've dedicated the last 5 years to helping him achieve his dreams and I don't regret any of it, but now it's time for mine. All I've ever wanted was to be a mother and it's happening, so I'm phasing myself out. This isn't new information to him. This was all discussed at great lengths and well planned out. Anyway, a good chunk of his "work" right now is playing video games with a bunch of guys, going to tournaments, planning and promoting our big upcoming tournament, and a seemingly endless level of Facebook interaction that he calls networking. It's all very good for the business, I suppose, but I wouldn't call it essential. So I have very little sympathy for his being tired and overworked right now...
I've been holding out hope that he's really just trying to get in as much fun stuff as he can before the baby comes, and that this is a phase that will pass. He tends to go through phases. But it's frustrating at the moment. He's terrified about being a dad, like I think every guy is, and probably also really worried about how the business is going to run without me (I will still work from home, but won't be a real presence in the stores anymore). So, that was my rant. Someone tell me this is a normal adjustment period for any husband/wife dynamic, and we'll deal. Or give me tips on what to do with him after I smack him in the head a few times... Either one. Lol. Thanks for listening. I know this was agonizingly long. I guess I really needed to vent.