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#1 of 20 Old 07-26-2014, 03:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I just love people ...

I went to pick up the boys from VBS today and a lady from my church asked me when I was due. I told her, "End of November." She looked at my belly and said, "Wow." Ooookay. "Yes, I'm huge but that happens with #8 . It just kind of falls out there." She got this horrified look on her face and said, "#8 , this is #8 ?!" Um, yeah. "Well, is it your last?!" I grinned really big and said, "I don't know!" She repeated, "'I don't know?!" The whole conversation was conducted with a completely horrified look on her face.

Mind you, this woman has 5 kids with 5 different men, so I don't really get the horror at the size of my family.
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#2 of 20 Old 07-26-2014, 04:14 PM
 
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Maybe her kids are accidents? Hopefully it was a look of shock, not horror, as in "Wow it shocking how serene and calm you look while pregnant with your 8th, you must be an awesome mom!"




Anyway congratulations I think 8 is wonderful
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#3 of 20 Old 07-26-2014, 09:11 PM
 
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I am on number 6 and have received a lot of similar comments for the last 3 pregnancies. With this one when we told my father in law, he had a complete look of disgust on his face. I just wanted to smack him. And last pregnancy, he replied with..."you don't need any more kids". He of course only has one and could barely raise him (my husband spent most of his childhood with grandparents and family friends).
And then the other day a young lady that is about as far a long as I am commented with, "you JUST had one and your pregnant again!?!?!" I replied with, "well actually he is over 2 now". She then said, "are you going to get your tubes tied after this one?" I replied, "probably not" and she gave me a shocked look. It really irritated me because she is barely out of teen hood...not even married and lives with her mom and somehow she is judging ME for having my 6th child with a man that I have been happily married to for over 12 years! It just rubbed me the wrong way. I hate how the general population tends to stop being happy for the mommy after her 3rd child. It is just wrong I tell ya! So I may not be on number 8 yet, but I SOOO know what you are talking about! Just know that you have been blessed at least 8 times with amazing gifts from God! ((hugs))
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#4 of 20 Old 07-26-2014, 11:19 PM
 
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I am the type of person who will react with "wow" or "omg" but not out of disgust. More just shock and absolute respect. It takes a lot to be a mom to many, and for your body to be able to carry that many successful pregnancies. I'm a fan of big families, and have nothing but respect. Both of my step brothers have 7 kids a piece, and my step sister has 6. I love it. Hopefully one day I could be as strong and carry so many.
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#5 of 20 Old 07-27-2014, 05:28 AM
 
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Gotta love people who make comments w/out using their brains.

I love big families! I've always said I want six kids.
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#6 of 20 Old 07-27-2014, 08:10 PM
 
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On a slightly funny note.... my neighbor (older portly fellow) came by and said he heard something about me. I said, "well only believe it if it is good." He then snidely replied with, "well I don't know if it is good or not." I knew what he was talking about, but I played dumb. He then patted his belly (obviously hinting at me being pregnant). The funny part is my response in my head was "that I am fat?".... I obviously didn't say it....but I sooooo wanted to! lol I instead replied with, "yes I am pregnant again." And he rolled his eyes and sighed and then went on to talk about how he thought about getting my husband "something to wear ..if you know what I mean". I just politely smiled as I gritted my teeth. I was thinking, seriously, you are dogging me for having 6 children.....when I am practically raising your grand-daughter this summer (and the summer before last) because both you and your son cant handle her for more than a few hours at a time!?!?! She is seriously at my house from morning time until sundown. I feed her most of her meals (and have found that if I don't she says she doesn't get food). To me her grandpa is creepy and for her sake I am happy that she is going back to her mothers soon..........not that her mother is the best of mothers, but I really don't trust her grandpa. He is creepy old man status. If I knew I could handle it, I would just adopt her as I am pretty much sure none of her family would care if she wasn't part of their family anymore. She even said she wants to be apart of my family and doesn't want to go back to her moms, never sees her dad and doesn't like being at her grandparents. She has even written me notes calling my husband and I mom and dad and saying she loves us. She was supposed to visiting her dad this summer, but instead she has been at my house the whole time. It really is a sad situation. Sorry to get off on a pig trail, I just thought of that funny (but still irritating) moment. =S
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#7 of 20 Old 07-27-2014, 08:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by badwolf092087 View Post
I am the type of person who will react with "wow" or "omg" but not out of disgust. More just shock and absolute respect. It takes a lot to be a mom to many, and for your body to be able to carry that many successful pregnancies. I'm a fan of big families, and have nothing but respect. Both of my step brothers have 7 kids a piece, and my step sister has 6. I love it. Hopefully one day I could be as strong and carry so many.
Nope, pretty sure it was horror I wish it had been awe or respect, LOL.

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On a slightly funny note.... my neighbor (older portly fellow) came by and said he heard something about me. I said, "well only believe it if it is good." He then snidely replied with, "well I don't know if it is good or not." I knew what he was talking about, but I played dumb. He then patted his belly (obviously hinting at me being pregnant). The funny part is my response in my head was "that I am fat?".... I obviously didn't say it....but I sooooo wanted to! lol I instead replied with, "yes I am pregnant again." And he rolled his eyes and sighed and then went on to talk about how he thought about getting my husband "something to wear ..if you know what I mean". I just politely smiled as I gritted my teeth. I was thinking, seriously, you are dogging me for having 6 children.....when I am practically raising your grand-daughter this summer (and the summer before last) because both you and your son cant handle her for more than a few hours at a time!?!?! She is seriously at my house from morning time until sundown. I feed her most of her meals (and have found that if I don't she says she doesn't get food). To me her grandpa is creepy and for her sake I am happy that she is going back to her mothers soon..........not that her mother is the best of mothers, but I really don't trust her grandpa. He is creepy old man status. If I knew I could handle it, I would just adopt her as I am pretty much sure none of her family would care if she wasn't part of their family anymore. She even said she wants to be apart of my family and doesn't want to go back to her moms, never sees her dad and doesn't like being at her grandparents. She has even written me notes calling my husband and I mom and dad and saying she loves us. She was supposed to visiting her dad this summer, but instead she has been at my house the whole time. It really is a sad situation. Sorry to get off on a pig trail, I just thought of that funny (but still irritating) moment. =S
Ewwww. You are a good woman to take her on and save her this summer
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#8 of 20 Old 07-28-2014, 02:54 PM
 
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I'm on #5 , and I know what ya mean. People and their comments and looks suck a lot if the time!
I've had serveral people tell me how this baby is going to be so big because I popped early. Well, after a few your body just remembers exactly what to do and doesn't waste any time
People always ask us if were done. Why the heck is that ANYBODY'S business?!?!

Anyways, 8 is awesome! I'm happy for you!!!!
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#9 of 20 Old 07-28-2014, 04:35 PM
 
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I just remembered a family reaction to my pregnancy that comes with a similar story. To keep it short, I've had a lot of late miscarriages plus all the issues conceiving after the loss of Connor. At 6 weeks and 9 weeks, we had the okay to start telling people because she was proving to be viable and growing quickly. Well of course my family knows my loss history, and suggested we tell no one until I hit 24 weeks. They think it's tacky that everyone knows and I'm only 22 weeks. "Why get anyone's hopes up?" Our daughter is in the 90th percentile for length and weight, and 95th percentile for head/brain size. And despite this progress, family just doesn't care.

Point of my story, I totally get the whole people need to shut up thing.
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#10 of 20 Old 07-28-2014, 10:21 PM
 
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yes it is sad when people don't share in your happiness....or even worse throw out rude comments or looks.
I always wait until later (past 3 months) to tell about my pgs.....but not because of miscarriage...but because too many times people haven't been happy about it!
I think what hurt me the most was when I announced my 5th pg. I was about 3 months along. My first four kids average about 2 years apart from each other (give or take a few months). Well there was a big gap (for me) between number 4 and number 5. There is almost 4 years (minus a couple of weeks) between them....which is huge for me. So I was really excited and a figured my family would be as well. I always find cute special ways to give the news and that time, I decided to tell at Thanksgiving and have a basket were everyone could say what they were thankful for. My kids went around collecting all of the notes and of course amongst the notes was our announcement. I read them all including our announcement and about the only one that was super happy was my sis in law.....everyone else just was kind of like feelingless congrats. So I really dreaded telling them with this one....and again pretty much all of the family was more full of fake excitement (including my sis in law). But I was expecting them all to be pretty much that way, so it didn't bother me as much as with my 5th when I figured everyone would be excited too.

On a side note- I hate it just as much when I am not pregnant and family says things like "you better not have more kids" or "you better not be pregnant again"....or even them asking if I was pregnant!

Plus I have found one thing that slightly annoys me is when I announce that I am pregnant and people like my mom (and a few other family members) are like, "I knew it!" That annoys me because I know that they really couldn't have known it because I wasn't even showing or having symptoms. They just assume that I am always pregnant! I called them on it this pregnancy!
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#11 of 20 Old 07-29-2014, 05:03 AM
 
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I would rather get "I knew it" opposed to "oh uh that's nice..." My MIL still hasn't shown one sign of being happy about the baby, and it will be her first grandchild. She didn't count our first son since we weren't married then and he passed away. Better for her to deny things than accept I guess.
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#12 of 20 Old 07-29-2014, 11:04 AM
 
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Yea, its super crappy. I'm thinking with any future pregnancies to just tell my kids, since they're always happy, and oh well for everyone else. They'll find out eventually!

I totally get the remarks about "you better not have anymore " too. Even random people I barely know tell me I should get my tubes tied!

I truly believe its because in our society kids are viewed as a pain in the butt, not as a blessing. No one would be glum about you getting a promotion at work or a new house, because those things are highly valued and sought after. But kids, the ultimate legacy and blessing are viewed as less is more...
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#13 of 20 Old 07-29-2014, 11:08 AM
 
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That's heartbreaking Badwolf! I can't imagine no one getting excited over the first grandkid. And even more heartbreaking that they don't even count your son. I'm sorry for the lack of normal human emotion. What's with 24 weeks being the magic number anyways?
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#14 of 20 Old 07-29-2014, 12:05 PM
 
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Oh badwolf, I'm so sorry to hear that! Family is supposed to be there to support and comfort their loved ones. Just because they can't deal with the pain of losing a little one they weren't even growing; if only they could hold their selfishness and think of your pain. I can't imagine not wanting to know about a family member's pregnancy just because I couldn't handle the pain it would cause me if they lost THEIR baby... human emotions can be so sad and selfish. You just keep on trucking and growing that beautiful baby.


And blessed one I am also sorry to hear of your family's lack of happy emotion. A new life is wonderful no matter how many you already have! I love big families as long as they are raised with good morals and virtues! You see some people who only have one or two and then spoil the hell out of them till they are the worst of brats and then turn them loose on society when they are adults. That is a much sadder circumstance in my opinion than raising a whole bunch of great people!

Breezy married to my sweetie pie David With two beautiful children that love each other very much and a bun in the oven due Nov. 5th, 2014


Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.

-Benjamin Franklin


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#15 of 20 Old 07-30-2014, 11:19 AM
 
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Okay, I'm annoyed with the mobile site. It didn't post my reply! Ughhhh.

Okay, so 24 weeks is the longest my other "viable" pregnancy was that ended in a horrible, blood bath of a miscarriage. Because of that one, his mom thinks us telling anyone prior to that time frame is "tacky" due to my history. I don't care, I really don't. But I do get irked when I hear the commentary. As far as not thinking of my first son as her grandson because of his passing, it's typical her. When her husband died, she went back to her previous marriage's last name instead of her maiden name. Now that is messed up. She did ask if he and I could stop trying after this one. HAHAHA! I want a big family. Whether she supports that or not is NOT my problem.

Yesterday when I was with my friend and her 3 year old (who has the most AMAZING personality in the world, I swear), someone asked her why she didn't give her daughter a sibling yet. That waiting so long gives her an "unfulfilled childhood" and all of this other nonsense. I chimed in because my friend was getting upset and said, "She just went through a painful divorce from her daughter's father, and he's bringing her to court every 2 weeks to try to fight the custody agreement. Do you really think she should have had another child with that man? That's what I thought." I love making people's jaws drop.

I agree mamabear. Every life we get to bring into this world is blessed. Yes, there are a lot of people who have kids because of the government benefits or other selfish reasons. But than we have forums filled with moms like us who just want to have families of many sizes, and help mold new lives for the future.

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#16 of 20 Old 07-30-2014, 02:17 PM
 
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Oh wow Badwolf, I'm sorry if my question was unnecessary or insensitive. I was just curious why 24 weeks was such a big deal. That is heartbreaking! But, surely a once in a lifetime kinda thing. The baby in your womb right now is going to be a healthy full term infant and prove all the naysayers wrong! I personally would continue to grow my family to the size that makes you and your DH happy and satisfied. Its no one else's business!
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#17 of 20 Old 07-30-2014, 02:45 PM
 
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That is horribly sad that your mil has been that way. Hopefully the rest of the family is more excited and supportive.

In regards to the "I knew it" comment....yes that is not mean...it just for some reason annoys me because they always assume I am pg! My father in law asked me twice over the past year before I was even pg if I was! That annoyed me too and eventually I started to snap at him. I would respond with "ummm no, you have 5 kids and see how small your belly is!" When we told him of this one, he tried to convince me that the last time he asked (which was over 6 months ago) was actually during this pg. I reassured him that it wasn't. He is just egotistical and wants to always be right. Basically he is a know it all. With my mom and sil saying "I knew it", it at least isn't in a prideful manner....but for some reason it still annoys me.....I guess because they always assume I am pg. One of these days when I am not pg, I would be tempted to tell them I am pg and then when they say "I knew it", be all like actually I am not...lol. But I don't like lying. =S
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#18 of 20 Old 07-30-2014, 03:40 PM
 
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Oh wow Badwolf, I'm sorry if my question was unnecessary or insensitive. I was just curious why 24 weeks was such a big deal. That is heartbreaking! But, surely a once in a lifetime kinda thing. The baby in your womb right now is going to be a healthy full term infant and prove all the naysayers wrong! I personally would continue to grow my family to the size that makes you and your DH happy and satisfied. Its no one else's business!
Your question wasn't unnecessary or insensitive. I was mostly annoyed at having to type out the answer all over again. It was one of a good handful of posts of mine that didn't get posted. And it was a complete freak accident. Lily didn't make it because of an actual accident involving shitty stairs at a client's house many years back. My MIL will never understand that, though.

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#19 of 20 Old 08-02-2014, 02:42 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I just remembered a family reaction to my pregnancy that comes with a similar story. To keep it short, I've had a lot of late miscarriages plus all the issues conceiving after the loss of Connor. At 6 weeks and 9 weeks, we had the okay to start telling people because she was proving to be viable and growing quickly. Well of course my family knows my loss history, and suggested we tell no one until I hit 24 weeks. They think it's tacky that everyone knows and I'm only 22 weeks. "Why get anyone's hopes up?" Our daughter is in the 90th percentile for length and weight, and 95th percentile for head/brain size. And despite this progress, family just doesn't care.

Point of my story, I totally get the whole people need to shut up thing.
Tacky? Wow. I'm so sorry you've got such little support. Tragic, yes. Tacky, hell no!

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yes it is sad when people don't share in your happiness....or even worse throw out rude comments or looks.
I always wait until later (past 3 months) to tell about my pgs.....but not because of miscarriage...but because too many times people haven't been happy about it!
I think what hurt me the most was when I announced my 5th pg. I was about 3 months along. My first four kids average about 2 years apart from each other (give or take a few months). Well there was a big gap (for me) between number 4 and number 5. There is almost 4 years (minus a couple of weeks) between them....which is huge for me. So I was really excited and a figured my family would be as well. I always find cute special ways to give the news and that time, I decided to tell at Thanksgiving and have a basket were everyone could say what they were thankful for. My kids went around collecting all of the notes and of course amongst the notes was our announcement. I read them all including our announcement and about the only one that was super happy was my sis in law.....everyone else just was kind of like feelingless congrats. So I really dreaded telling them with this one....and again pretty much all of the family was more full of fake excitement (including my sis in law). But I was expecting them all to be pretty much that way, so it didn't bother me as much as with my 5th when I figured everyone would be excited too.

On a side note- I hate it just as much when I am not pregnant and family says things like "you better not have more kids" or "you better not be pregnant again"....or even them asking if I was pregnant!

Plus I have found one thing that slightly annoys me is when I announce that I am pregnant and people like my mom (and a few other family members) are like, "I knew it!" That annoys me because I know that they really couldn't have known it because I wasn't even showing or having symptoms. They just assume that I am always pregnant! I called them on it this pregnancy!
We found with this one that everyone faked excitement. With #6 & #7 their responses were anemic, at best. My mom actually called to apologize for her response a couple of days later. My sister called to tell me she was concerned about my health. Whatever. I guess they are finally getting use to us. Now that we know it's a girl my mom is over the moon! It's been a good long while since there was a girl in the family.

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I would rather get "I knew it" opposed to "oh uh that's nice..." My MIL still hasn't shown one sign of being happy about the baby, and it will be her first grandchild. She didn't count our first son since we weren't married then and he passed away. Better for her to deny things than accept I guess.
How sad that she has to deny something in order to cope with it. I'm sorry, badwolf!

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Yea, its super crappy. I'm thinking with any future pregnancies to just tell my kids, since they're always happy, and oh well for everyone else. They'll find out eventually!

I totally get the remarks about "you better not have anymore " too. Even random people I barely know tell me I should get my tubes tied!

I truly believe its because in our society kids are viewed as a pain in the butt, not as a blessing. No one would be glum about you getting a promotion at work or a new house, because those things are highly valued and sought after. But kids, the ultimate legacy and blessing are viewed as less is more...
Amen. You are so right about that!

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Your question wasn't unnecessary or insensitive. I was mostly annoyed at having to type out the answer all over again. It was one of a good handful of posts of mine that didn't get posted. And it was a complete freak accident. Lily didn't make it because of an actual accident involving shitty stairs at a client's house many years back. My MIL will never understand that, though.
I pray that you go on to have the large family you desire!
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#20 of 20 Old 08-02-2014, 07:38 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I went to pick up the boys from VBS today and a lady from my church asked me when I was due. I told her, "End of November." She looked at my belly and said, "Wow." Ooookay. "Yes, I'm huge but that happens with #8 . It just kind of falls out there." She got this horrified look on her face and said, "#8 , this is #8 ?!" Um, yeah. "Well, is it your last?!" I grinned really big and said, "I don't know!" She repeated, "'I don't know?!" The whole conversation was conducted with a completely horrified look on her face.

Mind you, this woman has 5 kids with 5 different men, so I don't really get the horror at the size of my family.
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