We all know what we are doing for thanksgiving, but what about Christmas (or whichever of the holidays your family celebrates)? I just found out last night we had to choose to go to my MIL's after church on Christmas Eve or in the morning of Christmas. No choice of her bringing relatives to us, or joining in on what we've already had planned. Thanksgiving hasn't been fully 'figured out' when it comes to her, and a relative from Chicago is coming this way some time over the next month. The way she worded it, we need to drop everything for these out of town relatives. This is the same MIL that told my husband he shouldn't be having a kid, needs a better career, and has done zip in terms of her soon to be first granddaughter. I don't mind accommodating out of town relatives, as long as I'm asked nicely.
Anyone else have someone trying to dictate their holidays for them?
Now, a birth is not a trauma. But it is more of a major life event than visiting from out of town or Christmas. Thus you get to be at the center of the circle. Comfort in, dumping out. Screw them.
I know it doesn't change the reality of living with controlling family members. But it does put In to words (published in the LA Times no less!) how WRONG your controlling family members are.
We will be doing along of driving to family in CT aand NJ which is what we always do, with a very relaxed road tripping kind of schedule this year. Plus, in a new (to us) Subaru Forester, hurray!
Ok I guess it is not officially called the dumping circle. But that is how we refer to it in my family (used extensively in discussions about my cousins breast cancer and my sisters wedding, thus far)
I love that. It's perfect. Badwolf, follow your original plans if that's what you want. I firmly believe that the holidays should be about family, but we're all creating our own little families here, and we have to do what's best for our newest members. My brother lives on the west coast, and it's my family's turn to travel out there. However, as I will have a newborn, that's not happening. We'll see my in laws on Xmas Eve, and then have a quiet day at home on Xmas, just the three of us. We'll do something with my family when they're back on the this side of the country. Plus, my brother and his family will in all likelihood be making a trip here soon enough to meet my baby.
My husband and I have a strick rule that we don't do any travelling on xmas day itself and we make sure to be home by mid afternoon on xmas eve. If we didn't we would be running between sets of parents every year and it would ruin the fun of xmas. It is understood that grandparents can stop by for a visit - but to expect to not be fed or find a clean house lol.
As for what we are doing this year: my mom lives closest and will host us there. My dad and my in-laws will come here (they all live 3+ hours away) and do a potluck.
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