1st Trimester Anxiety support Group (For all women) - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 143 Old 06-27-2014, 08:17 AM
 
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Your aunt most likely did not say that purposefully to hurt you, but if your family is insensitive, you are allowed to have nothing to do with them. You don't have to go there just because you're related. Relationships are a two way street, and if they are not willing to keep the dog off you or consider your feelings at this especially hormonal time, then you are better off staying away or just talking on the phone.

I remember being 19 and getting married because I was young and felt I had to. I was three months pregnant at my first wedding and it was probably the worst pregnancy. I was super tired, but not showing so much because I still had stomach muscles back then. So after the wedding, all I wanted to do was get out of that stupid wedding dress that was way too tight and I couldn't find a place to change because everyone had already taken up all the rooms. I was so pissed. They were terribly insensitive. But then, that's my extended family. So I just have much less to do with them now and it makes for less stress. I just think about how my family that I created is not going to be insensitive because we will talk more and react less. The thing I wish I had known when I was younger more than anything is that the family that made you is not as important as the family you make in the world. Your husband and baby come first now, over everything else.

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#62 of 143 Old 06-27-2014, 09:36 AM
 
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Reposting from another thread, as not sure where to put this. Hope that's ok and not obnoxious! So I had a dating ultrasound on Monday, got to see a teeny heartbeat fluttering away 😍 - our "official" edd is now Feb 14th. Glad all is in the right place, and that so far all is well. One thing that worries me is during g the ultrasound I saw a cyst on my right (only) ovary measuring at about 5cm . I lost my left ovary at 18 to a huge ovarian cyst (68 cm), so am definitely feeling anxious about this, have an appointment July 11 with CNM and will discuss my concerns. It does explain why I look three months e pregnant, instead of 6 weeks.
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#63 of 143 Old 06-27-2014, 09:58 AM
 
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@Valerie11 Thanks for that. I actually have a very supportive family, just not a very deep, sensitive family. My parents weren't home, just my young sisters (two 10yo's, a 13yo and a 15yo) and I don't think they really "got it" my aunt is just a little...off. I didn't feel like they were being intentionally insensitive at all, just a little clueless and inconsiderate (as many kids are). Just a combination of the cramps and all that excitement had me really upset in the moment.

I'm sorry about that, @PicklinQueen . I hope it goes away on it's own. I have a terrible history with cysts but how scary to have an ovary removed because of one. I hope everything turns out alright, I have a feeling it will.
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June 18th, 2014
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#64 of 143 Old 06-27-2014, 11:15 AM
 
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I got my second betas back, I went from 1144 to 3361 in 48 hours, so all is looking good! I'm feeling really positive about it at this point. I'm feeling and looking pregnant, hurray! It's finally starting to sink in a little.



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#65 of 143 Old 06-28-2014, 07:04 PM
 
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Thursday is our heartbeat ultrasound. This has been the longest week of my life! I am still in shock about the twinsies and I can't really let myself believe it's true until we see both heartbeats. I also feel like I've told too many people about the twins and I wish I hadn't, I don't know why, I'm just worried if something happens it's going to be terrible to un-tell. We still haven't told our families.


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#66 of 143 Old 06-28-2014, 07:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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@iixivboots - I was just thinking about you today!!! I am so glad you checked in here!!! ((Hugs)) I am sorry for all the anxiety. I swear, we probably spend 90% of our lives waiting for things. I hope you see those little heartbeats flickering away.
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#67 of 143 Old 07-01-2014, 01:06 AM
 
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Well now I have a new anxiety! I finally got around to calling my midwife to get on her calendar (very excited to finally be able to use a midwife twice - I hate going into the unknown with each birth, but I moved cross country after my first, and my second lost her license soon after, so thrilled to use the same one for #3 AND #4 ) and she told me she's out of town on her yearly vacation with my due date smack dab in the middle of it! She's the ONLY legal homebirth midwife in the state, I think - she is at least the only one willing to drive to my area. Although I love CPM's (my first midwife was, and I frankly prefer that approach, over the sometimes more "nurse-like" or hospitally feel), they aren't legal, and that raises all sorts of issues apparently (documented legal prenatal care, access to rhogam, signing the birth cert, not to mention lying if you get transferred to the hospital and being treated like a criminal for not having documented prenatal care = abx for baby, staying longer, and raising big red flags if you refuse anything - eye goop, Hep B). I'm not sure what to do. I'm not comfortable with a planned unnassisted - I've been at my sister's 3 homebirths and everytime just prayed that the midwife arrived in time cuz I did NOT feel like I could handle if anything went other than textbook! And I've assisted pets and livestock give birth (including goats that have needed intervention from me), and I just can't do it (I guess maybe because I've lost baby goats). So I don't feel comfortable putting that responsibilty on any of the family who's be there. There are 2 birth centers - one that's 45 min with no traffic and one that an hour 15 with no traffic - but I live in the Balt/DC area, so chances are there'll be traffic! With my first (at a birth center) I thought I was going to die as my husband drove me the 4 miles there, and that was when I still had 4 hours before I gave birth. My last baby, we called the midwife 1 hour before I gave birth (she lives 45 min away). I don't think I could make it, and even if I could, being in the car during transition sounds like a torture I couldn't endure - I mean, birth is hard enough!
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#68 of 143 Old 07-01-2014, 02:54 AM
 
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Oh my gosh, @heatbrown , I'm right by DC in PG County! Do you want to discuss options? I've got a few specific names in mind, but don't know if it would be frustrating to you to rehash stuff you've already tried.

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#69 of 143 Old 07-01-2014, 05:09 AM - Thread Starter
 
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@Heart brown Maybe you already have, but could you ask your midwife if she knows any other midwives in the area? (Oftentimes, these underground mw's back each other up in the case of two births at once. Maybe she'd be able to help you?)

Sewing, gardening, home birthing, co-sleeping, extended nursing, cloth diapering, baby-wearing, home schooling, attachment parenting busy mommy to dd1 (7), dd2 (4), ds (1) and two in heaven. 
 
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#70 of 143 Old 07-01-2014, 10:01 AM
 
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@heatbrown
I had to birth at my midwife's house 45 minutes away in Florida with my second baby because Alabama wasn't OOH birth friendly. My longest labor has been 6 hours and that one was 4 hours from first contrx to baby. The drive was tough but preferable to an illegal HB or a hospital birth for us. We left as soon as contrx started so most of labor was at her house. I am sorry you are dealing with this!

AFM: anxiety has decreased - we did a quick scan this morning and saw a heartbeat! Woohoo!
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#71 of 143 Old 07-01-2014, 11:09 AM
 
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So I started taking my prenatal three nights ago, thinking that maybe my extreme fatigue was iron related. It's a good prenatal- Rainbow Light. The last two days I have felt really good. Too good. Besides some moderate nausea from time to time, I almost feel like my normal self. Of course, now I am convinced that something has gone wrong because how could a prenatal vitamin make THAT much of a difference?

To be fair, I don't usually feel as bad during the first trimester as I have this time around. I *do* feel more like my normal first trimester self... but could my iron have really been that low? Or I could I really been that deficient in something? And could a vitamin really make up for that to such an extent?

Eh. My first appointment is in one week. They will do a dating ultrasound so I guess time will tell!

Corrie, "trad" Catholic, wife to DH and Mom to DD (4/07), DS (2/09), DD (2/11), DD (4/13), two angel babies. 
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#72 of 143 Old 07-01-2014, 12:16 PM
 
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@cagnew I feel almost normal when I take my prenatal. I take Garden of Life Raw Prenatal. My nausea is almost gone when I take it. I freak out too. I can only take it when the nausea is at a low level so I don't get it in everyday. And days I don't the next day nausea is worse.
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#73 of 143 Old 07-01-2014, 01:24 PM
 
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@cagnew thank you for posting this, because the same thing has been happening to me, with the same vitamin. I was getting anxious about my lack of symptoms over the past three days, and when read your post, realised I started taking the Rainbow Light prenatals three days ago! So I'm going to agree with @chiromommy , it must be the ptenatals. Hello, 10:00 pm! Haven't seen you in weeks!
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#74 of 143 Old 07-01-2014, 02:14 PM
 
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chiromommy, I'm the same way. And there are just almost no times when the nausea is low enough to take them lately, especially because it wants me to take 3 of them, so I just try to gulp them all down in one sitting.

Three kids and one on the way.
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#75 of 143 Old 07-01-2014, 02:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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hmmm... Maybe I will try to push through and take them despite feeling sick. I have Rainbow lights too!

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#76 of 143 Old 07-01-2014, 06:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Haven't been sick for 4 hours... difference? I took my Rainbow lights and other supplements. Just had to push through the swallowing when I wasn't *too* sick and haven't felt sick since. I will continue this.

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#77 of 143 Old 07-02-2014, 12:28 AM
 
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I take rainbow lights, too. I have noticed a big difference when I eat folate-rich foods, too. Mostly beans and strawberries. Try it!


ecstatic about BFP #2 after another round of Clomid,
TWINS!
EDD 2/15/2015
thrilled to welcome #1 after 17 months of ttc, 1 round of Clomid

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#78 of 143 Old 07-03-2014, 05:40 PM
 
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We saw two heartbeats today! Measuring perfectly.

How is everyone else?


ecstatic about BFP #2 after another round of Clomid,
TWINS!
EDD 2/15/2015
thrilled to welcome #1 after 17 months of ttc, 1 round of Clomid

DS LG  08/03/12
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#79 of 143 Old 07-03-2014, 05:44 PM
 
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Doing pretty well actually. Symptoms seem to be increasing.. pretty miserable so I take it as a good sign. I feel like this is a strong little baby this time. We get to check for the heartbeat on Saturday.

Kyle and Jordan - Married June 22nd, 2013

TTC #1 since October 2013.

My chart -

One loss - March 2014 (5 weeks)

BFP on June 13, 2014 - EDD 2/25/2014
First Beta at 12DPO-186. 15DPO-598!

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#80 of 143 Old 07-04-2014, 06:15 AM
 
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I'm nervous today because my boobs don't seem nearly as tender or swollen. They are definitely softer. And I don't feel nauseous this morning but I did the past two days. My ultrasound is in 4 days. Sigh. I hate anxiety. Plus, I had another miscarriage dream. I know symptoms can fluctuate ... but it's hard not knowing.
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#81 of 143 Old 07-04-2014, 08:25 AM
 
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dreamingtree: ((HUG)) Yesterday morning I woke up and was convinced the baby wasn't alive. I had only pee'd once during the night and I was able to drink a half cup of coffee in the morning, which I hadn't been able to do. I even said something to my DH along the lines of "I will be surprised if we see a heartbeat on Tuesday." He kind of snapped at me and said he didn't want to hear me say things like that.

But... a few hours later I was feeling sick as usual. And last night I pee'd 5 times and couldn't sleep. Oddly, my boobs don't really hurt much this time around. Maybe because I am nursing? I mean, my nipples aren't happy with the nursing, but I haven't had the awesome pregnancy boobs. Just the regular flappy floppy nursing boobs. Haha.

I'll be glad to have the ultrasound and see that everything is fine. Maybe I will relax! Maybe I will actually start to feel some attachment to this pregnancy.

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#82 of 143 Old 07-04-2014, 10:20 AM
 
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dreamingtree: ((HUG)) Yesterday morning I woke up and was convinced the baby wasn't alive. I had only pee'd once during the night and I was able to drink a half cup of coffee in the morning, which I hadn't been able to do. I even said something to my DH along the lines of "I will be surprised if we see a heartbeat on Tuesday." He kind of snapped at me and said he didn't want to hear me say things like that.

But... a few hours later I was feeling sick as usual. And last night I pee'd 5 times and couldn't sleep. Oddly, my boobs don't really hurt much this time around. Maybe because I am nursing? I mean, my nipples aren't happy with the nursing, but I haven't had the awesome pregnancy boobs. Just the regular flappy floppy nursing boobs. Haha.

I'll be glad to have the ultrasound and see that everything is fine. Maybe I will relax! Maybe I will actually start to feel some attachment to this pregnancy.
cagnew: Thank you so much for the support. Is your ultrasound Tuesday as well? I hope we both feel more at ease afterwards. I have had trouble feeling attached to this pregnancy too, and I'm not sure why. I want to feel attached and feel more safe with letting myself enjoy the pregnancy and connect with this baby. I think part of it is being the second child, and it's that feeling of finding it hard to imagine loving another one as much as I love my son, even though I know I will. Motherhood is so strange sometimes. So many feelings. ((hugs)) to you as well.
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#83 of 143 Old 07-06-2014, 10:05 AM
 
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The crappier I feel the more anxious I get. I know that feeling terrible is a good sign but my survival instincts tell me something must be wrong if I feel this sick. Lol so stupid. Baby was measuring great yesterday with a strong heartbeat.. Actually was measuring ahead by 3 days. It's going to be a long month ahead of me.
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#84 of 143 Old 07-06-2014, 06:12 PM
 
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I had my first miscarriage dream the other night. I had just told most of my family at a 4th of July celebration and was so encouraged by the positive response that I started thinking about announcing on Facebook. Then came the miscarriage dream and in the dream I was so devastated, I tried to stop the miscarriage. Then I felt all of this anxiety about having to tell everyone I had lost the baby. I'm still not sure how long I want to wait to tell so I'm just taking it a day at a time. Someone told me that waiting to tell incase you miscarry is like waiting to miscarry instead of allowing others to pray for you and send their positive energy to you and your pregnancy. That made a lot of sense to me.
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#85 of 143 Old 07-06-2014, 07:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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@bren94 . That does make sense. And that is the approach I now take. I tell people in person who I know will pray for me now and will be supportive in the case of a miscarriage (I know who these people are because of how they reacted to my past losses.) I won't put it on facebook for quite some time, though. I figure, I will tell teh people who are important to me... what'shername from English 450 doesn't need to know. That's just my own personal approach. But I am distancing myself from facebook in general, so that could be informing my choice, too!

I am soooo glad your announcement went well!!!!

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#86 of 143 Old 07-07-2014, 04:34 PM
 
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@Heart brown Maybe you already have, but could you ask your midwife if she knows any other midwives in the area? (Oftentimes, these underground mw's back each other up in the case of two births at once. Maybe she'd be able to help you?)
Yes, I've spoken with her, but she can only recommend underground midwives - there's really no one else.
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#87 of 143 Old 07-07-2014, 04:37 PM
 
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Oh my gosh, @heatbrown , I'm right by DC in PG County! Do you want to discuss options? I've got a few specific names in mind, but don't know if it would be frustrating to you to rehash stuff you've already tried.
I've spoken with Susan about what she thinks my options are - I feel like I'm pretty hip to the MD scene, but who knows? I'm open to any info you got! I'm just outside the Balt beltway - on the westside.
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#88 of 143 Old 07-08-2014, 09:58 AM
 
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I've spoken with Susan about what she thinks my options are - I feel like I'm pretty hip to the MD scene, but who knows? I'm open to any info you got! I'm just outside the Balt beltway - on the westside.
Yeah, if you've talked to Susan, you're probably as informed as I am or better. My only other thought is Mairi and Erin of MAMAS, in Takoma Park? They're still practicing, although I believe their schedule fills up fast. I can't imagine that they'd know a ton more than Susan does, though. Wish I knew more about your birth center options, but I'm totally clueless there as well. The only other thing I can think of is that I've heard of mothers getting a hotel room very close to their intended hospital/birth center, as soon as they feel labor is getting underway, so they can labor there for however many hours they need before it's time to transition over to the birth center. Perhaps that would be an option worth exploring for you. Man, do I ever feel you on the traffic thing. (I'm actually worrying at this point that my child's going to be born in the car because I work about 90 minutes from home right now! Hoping I can get a pretty hardcore recommendation to work from home for the last few weeks.)

The state of midwifery in Maryland is just bizarre to me. I know the laws are tough on CPMs, but it's truly mind-boggling that there aren't at least a few more CNMs wanting to build a practice here--seems like there would be SO much demand! Is it just the hostile legal environment? Susan delivered our second, and when there was a surprise need to take her to the pediatrician right away (normal, healthy birth but we'd missed a cleft lip and cleft palate, which needed to be addressed immediately for effective feeding), I was quite surprised by how stressful Susan seemed to find it. She offered to accompany us with a look like she was girding herself for battle! It was a real relief when our craggy, old-school pediatrician nodded approvingly and said "Home birth! That's wonderful. Way it should be." Anyhow, I digress... If life were different, I'd absolutely be going to nursing school to become a Maryland CNM myself, because I think it's just atrocious how few options we've got.

Was Joey your midwife for your second?

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#89 of 143 Old 07-10-2014, 09:05 AM
 
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I'm feeling much less nauseated and slightly less tired today, trying REALLY HARD to keep my cool about it. Five more weeks of this nonsense.



Living and loving in ATX with DH (of 7 years) and DS (3.5)
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#90 of 143 Old 07-10-2014, 11:22 AM
 
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I was experiencing a new sensation for this pregnancy earlier that had me quite worried, and going to the bathroom just to check several times. Often before my period I get this feeling in my pubic bone, almost of the bones separating. I'm sure it's more muscular than bone shifting, but the sensation is that the bones are spreading apart, in my mind in preparation for the blood that will soon flow. I only experience this feeling the day or so before my period. I have been way less nauseas (I have the hardest time spelling that word!), the boobs less tender, the fatigue has been more under control. Perhaps it's because I'm nearing the end of the first trimester, so things are regulating? But perhaps something is going on, too. I'm feeling nervous while trying not to attach to any outcomes.

Man, this pregnancy thing sucks on your psyche!! Even past the first trimester, am I always going to worry that things are okay in there? Haven't had an appointment to hear the heartbeat yet. I was hoping to not have medical "intervention" during this pregnancy, but I am beginning to think that to ease my mental focus, maybe I should.

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