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-   -   How many people have you told? (http://www.mothering.com/forum/17585-february-2015-due-date-club/1426442-how-many-people-have-you-told.html)

nd01 06-25-2014 08:50 AM

How many people have you told?
 
With my first two pregnancies, I didn't tell anyone besides my husband until 10-12 weeks. This time, I've told my best friend and think I'll tell my parents next week (5.5 wks) b/c I'll be at their house and don't think I can hide the pooch and lack of drinking all that well.

sarahknavy 06-25-2014 08:53 AM

5/6 ish. I'm 7.5 weeks mostly people who asked me about having another. I am incapable of lying

BirchTree 06-25-2014 09:03 AM

I've only told my husband and two friends. I'll tell family and other friends once I feel comfortable that this one is sticking around, although I'm not sure when that will be.

Everyone is going to be shocked, though, as we have been telling them for years that our daughter made us "One and Done!" My mom will laugh at me for changing my mind like she told me I would.

alivewithyou 06-25-2014 09:33 AM

Even though we miscarried super early last time we didn't want to be afraid this time so we have told close friends and family. Probably about 10 people total. I won't go "public" until after at least my 8 week ultrasound and I'll see how I feel at that point. I also told one coworker who helps me lost heavy stuff when I need it at work. She is very good at keeping secrets too. :)

murrelet 06-25-2014 09:50 AM

We've told my parents and my sister. We're holding off on telling the kids until after we hear a heartbeat, because after that everyone will know! I feel like we'll probably spread the news more widely at that point, and I'll probably tell work then too as we'll likely need to figure out if they'll find a mat leave replacement for me or not.

Who knows though... The last time I was working and pregnant I had to spill the beans pretty early (9 weeks I think) because I was too sick to function properly. I'm still hoping that won't happen this time, but the afternoon/evening queasy is starting already :(

knittygritty 06-25-2014 10:07 AM

So far only my husband and my cousin (who is more like my sister) know. And two friends from my grad cohort guessed at a party when I wasn't drinking last Saturday, but I clumsily dodged outright telling them. We'll announce to our parents/families next weekend. It's crazy hard not to just blurt it out!

jodieanneanton 06-25-2014 11:17 AM

About a bajillion people know about this bean. ;) I have told most family and close friends. I tell the people that I know will pray for me and not be a total jerk if I were to have a miscarriage. I know from past experience who not to tell. It won't be announce to the "facebook" type friends until I feel like it. Last time, I didn't make an announcement there. lol. This time, I don't know... We'll see.

TeeThatsMe 06-25-2014 12:06 PM

We've actually told quite a few people fairly early on, I guess! Close family was pretty immediate; my best work friend, officemate, and supervisor all got told pretty much straight off the bat, too. Now that we've seen the heartbeat, all bets are basically off--we told the older two kids right away after the ultrasound, I've been telling everybody in my office this week, will call the remaining family members who haven't heard, and then we're going full steam ahead with a goofy family announcement video to post on Facebook.

PicklinQueen 06-25-2014 01:09 PM

My 3 siblings, 3 friends, and my immediate co-worker/buddy/boss person. Waiting till 12 weeks to tell grandparental units and future big brother, but my mom guessed.

bren94 06-25-2014 01:27 PM

4 Attachment(s)
Since this is our first we've been pretty big mouthed about it. However we've tried to limit ourselves to only telling those who we think will be supportive and positive, and our judgment hasn't proven spot on with that. I'm not sure when I'll go public with it. I don't really like the idea of announcing on Facebook because there are some people on there that I barely know and don't need the judgment from (like distant relatives).

LaurenB 06-25-2014 02:05 PM

My sister, her partner, and everyone at my work knows. We're waiting to tell DD at the end of this trimester. I'd love to tell my mom, but Dh says it's not fair since we can't tell his mom. But we can't tell Mil without telling the entire universe. So it goes. :lol:

lovingmommyhood 06-25-2014 03:46 PM

Everybody around me knows except for our families. This is number five for us and I'm anticipating some less-than-ideal reactions. I know I'm going to be very defensive for my baby and I don't feel up to dealing with it right now. Sad, but true!

happyday8598 06-25-2014 04:32 PM

So varied in our tellings!

I've let my co-worker know... I do lots of things at work that I would prefer to opt out of (chainsaw work, chemical exposure, etc), and thought it would be appropriate to share with him, so he realized why I was going all soft on him. I've told my landlords, who are wonderful people. One of them accidentally said something this past weekend when my family was around, but I think my dad was wigged out in technology, so he didn't really register.

I really want to share with my kiddo's, but after our miscarriage, I'm trying to wait until the first trimester ends... and then some. While they rolled with the loss last time, there was some disappointment (they're 13 and 16... and the 13 year old was really eager to finally play the big bro role).

I shared with Facebook last time the day that I hit 12 weeks, and miscarried that night... Go figure! So, that will hold off for a while, too.

It's easier to keep this a "secret" this time, knowing what could come... Last time I felt like I was lying to people by not telling them... This time I'm wondering if they're guessing by this incredible boob growth the past few days!!!

cagnew 06-25-2014 06:06 PM

We've told everyone except our kids. I guess we will tell them after the ultrasound on the 8th.

dentonmidwife 06-25-2014 10:04 PM

I have told my birth team, ie my midwife friend and apprentice. A couple of my neighbors know and a couple doula friends. My oldest son suspects that I am, but I have not confirmed it yet.

Dot-to-Dot 06-30-2014 07:24 AM

I told my best friend first and then my husband on Father's Day. Then revealed it to my other best friend and all family on my side since we had a family reunion and I am so ill. Couldn't have kept that secret! But they have strict instructions to not say anything to our kids or on facebook. NOBODY on my husband's side knows. With my first daughter, my MIL named her and referred to her as Katie many times. It really got on my nerves. We did not name her Katie. With my second daughter, she said she "digitally enhanced" the ultrasound (one taken before the genitals had even formed) and that she could tell it was a boy. She announced publicly on facebook that "It's a boy!" Imagine my delight when we found out months later that it was a girl. Muah ha ha ha. So anyway, I don't really want to tell her until the baby is actually born. :P We hardly ever see her so we really could do it if we wanted to. But I will probably let his side of the family know after we find out the gender at the 18-20 week anatomy scan.

cowchick530 06-30-2014 09:12 AM

3 Attachment(s)
Well I told 6 people to start off with. I was bleeding and needed the support. Well that proved to be a mistake. 2 of them told other people when they knew better. But the bleeding went away. Thank goodness. And then I went to my best friends birthday party and the house was packed. I left with more than half knowing as I wasn't drinking and my loud normal self. So I was getting the 21 questions. Haha. But we won't publicly announce until after our first appointment. Which is only 10 days away. But seems to be taking forrreeevvverr. Haha. Anyways. On that day I will be 10 weeks. Yay!

TeeThatsMe 06-30-2014 09:20 AM

@Dot-to-Dot , your MIL sounds like a piece of work! Oh my gosh! I wouldn't blame you one bit for keeping mum until the baby was born, but it's very kind of you to consider letting her in on it at the midpoint. Naming your child... Announcing the sex, especially when it's pretty much made up?! Good Lord!

Here's our goofy family video announcement. We're posting it on Facebook on... Wednesday, of course. :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PoA3-ZwFZ8

cowchick530 06-30-2014 09:34 AM

3 Attachment(s)
@tee that was super cute. I'm posting a video as well. But its a video of my son handing my dad a picture he drew to tell him that I'm pregnant. Its really cute. Videos are fun!

DuchessTergie 06-30-2014 09:36 AM

My very impressive bloating has forced me to start telling people-- before they start asking me if I've been enjoying more beer! :)

Valerie11 06-30-2014 01:38 PM

We've told our parents and whomever I happened to talk to recently on the phone since everyone is in other states besides ours.

I would like to take this opportunity to mention that if any of you have yet to tell your employer about your pregnancy, the best way is in writing, preferably an email. Then print it out, or print out whatever reply you get and save it. During my last pregnancy I told one of my direct supervisors in his office and there was a meeting shortly after that I got invited to about what a terrible job I was doing. Looking back, they were a smaller company so FMLA didn't apply to them and I think they just wanted rid of me so as not to pay the healthcare costs. But it didn't work. I did do some serious reading about the laws and saved every email that I ever got showing I was doing a good job (and I was actually doing a great job), just in case it would need taken to court. I also got an email from a co-worker of a forwarded email showing that they knew that had been sent on the date I told them, so I was covered in case they terminated me. It's sad that we live in a society that is this way, but we do, and it does happen. I didn't return to that job after maternity leave and gave them plenty of notice so they could have my replacement ready well before I would have returned. As a professional courtesy.

sarafl 06-30-2014 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TeeThatsMe (Post 17742162)
@Dot-to-Dot , your MIL sounds like a piece of work! Oh my gosh! I wouldn't blame you one bit for keeping mum until the baby was born, but it's very kind of you to consider letting her in on it at the midpoint. Naming your child... Announcing the sex, especially when it's pretty much made up?! Good Lord!

Here's our goofy family video announcement. We're posting it on Facebook on... Wednesday, of course. :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PoA3-ZwFZ8

@TeeThatsMe that video is so cute! I wish I could come up with some special way to tell people. So far I've mostly been going with "So, um, I've decided I'm telling people this now..."

I told my parents last night, and my brother had inadvertently given me a great setup for it. I'd told him and his girlfriend earlier that day, then later he was talking to our mom on the phone and his girlfriend was talking about it in the background, but all my mom heard was him saying "shh, Marla, my mom doesn't know yet!" Mom thought *they* were having a baby, and started asking me about it when I went over for dinner. Perfect setup!

bren94 07-01-2014 07:18 AM

4 Attachment(s)
@TeeThatsMe So cute!!

clarkey 07-01-2014 10:48 AM

We're not telling, because we don't think folks would be very supportive. We've been having a tough time, financially. Still, we're very excited and it feels good to have a secret.

knittygritty 07-02-2014 11:50 AM

Well guys, tomorrow is the big day where we break the news to my family.

Holy cow, I am NERVOUS. I'm kind of having a panic attack just thinking about it.

The plan for my parents/sister is to give them each a wrapped gift under the guise of a surprise Christmas in July. We’ll give my parents each a grandparent mug from my university, and we’ll give my sister a McDonald’s gift card for a future fry date with her niece/nephew (something she keeps saying she wants to do as an aunt).

Hopefully this all goes well and doesn't backfire on us!

jodieanneanton 07-02-2014 12:33 PM

@knittygritty , Good Luck!!! Let us know how it goes!

PicklinQueen 07-03-2014 10:32 AM

Just got made at work by one of the adults with disabilities I work with, who asked if I was pregnant. I replied that it was a very personal question that was socially inappropriate to ask, avoiding ab answer all together. Don't think I'll be able to wait till 12weeks to tell people, I'm already showingenough that its hard to hide.

TeeThatsMe 07-03-2014 10:55 AM

Sigh... The disability angle is hard. I've never been called out, so to speak, but in both previous pregnancies I've worked with deaf people who also have cognitive delays and not-very-advanced language skills, so I got very used to animated gesturing about how HUUUUUUUGE I was. Yeah, okay, thank you, I know it's very exciting that I'm as big as a house, let's chat about something else now.
@PicklinQueen , I hope that's the last you hear of it for weeks and weeks!

Valerie11 07-04-2014 08:35 AM

I just made the announcement on Facebook, so everyone I haven't already told on the phone who hasn't already told everyone else should now know. I figured get it over with since I plan to see so many people this weekend since we're visiting relatives in other states.

PicklinQueen 07-05-2014 03:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TeeThatsMe (Post 17751618)
Sigh... The disability angle is hard. I've never been called out, so to speak, but in both previous pregnancies I've worked with deaf people who also have cognitive delays and not-very-advanced language skills, so I got very used to animated gesturing about how HUUUUUUUGE I was. Yeah, okay, thank you, I know it's very exciting that I'm as big as a house, let's chat about something else now.
@PicklinQueen , I hope that's the last you hear of it for weeks and weeks!

It's true, Tee, the folks I work with really tell it how they feel it, zero boundaries, zero filters. We all know each other well too, which maakes it hard to hide anything. And I have a face like an emotional window: totally transparent. I'm going to have to say something sooner than in a month I think. We'll see if it happens again. Thanks for the heads up on what may be coming in terms of comments, too!!


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