Weekly Chat 7/21-7/27 - Mothering Forums

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Old 07-21-2014, 08:19 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Weekly Chat 7/21-7/27

Good morning!

My office is so cold today that I'm seriously considering bringing some gloves to work tomorrow. And the sole browser I've got to work with is so old that I routinely get requests to upgrade from the various websites I visit. This morning's request took the cake: "You are using a really old version of Internet Explorer that does not support modern web standards! You need to upgrade to a better browser ASAP. [...] For everyone's sake please get Chrome, Firefox, or a new version of Internet Explorer." Wow, random website, tell me what you really think. Alas, I don't think the tech folks here would be particularly receptive to my demanding an upgrade.

How are you today? Any grand plans for the week? Did you do anything exciting over the weekend?

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Old 07-21-2014, 08:30 AM
 
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DH flew out to NJ yesterday to pick up some furniture that his mom doesn't want anymore, and will be driving it back down in a moving truck tomorrow. Pretty excited about getting some "new" furniture! We have no storage space in this house and I am soooo looking forward to having a hutch and a big bench that opens up. She's also giving us a dresser, which is awesome because I don't have one and the cheap bookshelf my clothes are piled on/in is falling apart. It won't match my room, but I plan to paint it.

I was peeking in the July due date club and was thinking about how it won't be long until we have an "I'm in Labor!" thread

I'm a little weirded out this morning because I'm feeling some discomfort in the area where I assume my cyst is. It's not painful... just uncomfortable. It feels full and like something is being pinched a bit... or like if I moved a certain way it could get caught on something. I called my OB and left a message. I don't know if they will let me pop in and check it out via u/s, but I'd really like to know if the dumb thing is growing. I don't know why, to be honest, since there isn't much that can be done about it (except surgery, I suppose, which doesn't thrill me). I guess I just like to know what's going on in my body. If they DID let me come in, I'd have to bring all 4 kids, which is always a pain!

Corrie, "trad" Catholic, wife to DH and Mom to DD (4/07), DS (2/09), DD (2/11), DD (4/13), two angel babies. 
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Old 07-21-2014, 08:39 AM
 
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@cagnew - That sounds like a dream. "New furniture" is the best.

That would be pretty annoying not knowing what's happening ok the inside.

I have a lot of errands to run today to help my husband to leave two weeks earlier than we were told. At this point I am ready for him to be gone so we can get it over with.
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Old 07-21-2014, 01:29 PM
 
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@cagnew I have a fibroid that's been growing up a storm in it's soup of hormones. I can feel the pressure of it's size. An ultrasound to monitor is not a bad idea. In my experience, my cyst and fibroid stop growing by 12-15 weeks or so when the hormones settle.

We had our first appt with my midwife. Super weird because it's in my office and it's odd to be on the patient side. I had some spotting last week after sex and my symptoms have decreased so I spent all weekend fretting and preparing for the worst. Little baby was measuring exactly on target at 10+2 and moving all over the place. And I confirmed that I am actually feeling movement! Which is earlier even than my last one.
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Old 07-21-2014, 01:48 PM
 
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sarahnavy: I kind of know how you feel. When DH is off for the summer, we get into "summer mode." I get used to him being around all the time. When it gets closer to school time, I get antsy for him just to go so I can get back into "rest-of-the-year mode." I know it's not exactly the same since he comes home in the evenings, but I can understand the desire to just have the change over with! I hope the next two weeks goes smoothly for you guys.

chiro- I think that is so awesome about feeling movement! I have *thought* I've felt something a couple times but didn't know if you can truly feel the baby yet. Maybe I really did! Also, I am wondering about fibroids, as well as the cyst. My OB never called me back. They might call at the end of the day if they were really busy. I hope they do eventually call today because I hate re-calling! And I'd really just like things to get checked out.

I sound like such a worry-wart complainer on here! Weird because I am NOT a complainer in real life. Hah!

Corrie, "trad" Catholic, wife to DH and Mom to DD (4/07), DS (2/09), DD (2/11), DD (4/13), two angel babies. 
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Old 07-21-2014, 05:52 PM
 
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Tee, if you're running XP at work and using IE, there's a huge security flaw in all IE versions running on XP right now. You should try to upgrade yourself, if possible, but if not, then it would be better to bug IT or whoever upgrades your stuff. It takes about 5 minutes. If you're running Windows 7 or 8, or using a Mac, then it's not as critical. But either way it would make your work life easier.

Going in for the first 'real' appointment and sonogram tomorrow. That's my week in a nutshell.

Three kids and one on the way.
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Old 07-21-2014, 07:12 PM
 
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And I confirmed that I am actually feeling movement! Which is earlier even than my last one.
Woohoo! I usually feel my babies early too. I think #3 was either 10 or 11 weeks - I can't remember. Hoping it will be early like that again with this one. It's so much easier to stay calm when you can feel those little tap-taps now and then! I probably have another week or two before I can feel it though.

Mama to Tornado Boy (6/04), The Brute (11/06), and Mischief (05/09)... expecting in February '15
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Old 07-21-2014, 09:51 PM
 
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Wish I could feel movement! I'm 9 weeks this Thursday and have my first ultrasound on The 1st so I'm super anxious and excited to see my little babe! I got worried for a bit because my symptoms started to disappear but new ones have arrived in their place and my uterus is feeling more firm. My mom visited last week and I ended up asking her to leave and go stay with her friends until she left. She was really rude and annoying at first, ragging on DH and I, telling us our home is unfit for a child because we don't have cable or an icemaker and our dishwasher doesn't work and because we only have one bedroom. You know, all those newborn MUST HAVES. I put up with that though. I was feeling really sick the whole time she was here and tried to hang out with her as much as I could but she seemed far more interested in seeing her old friends which I was fine with because I was so tired. Finally on Saturday she woke me up super early and wanted to get breakfast before she went out with friends. I told her I needed to sleep longer and she went on a rampage, calling me lazy and telling me not to be surprised when my husband left me. Being just downright cruel, so I left and told her to be gone by the time I came home. Really stressful but I feel a lot better now. Trying not to let myself succumb to guilt. Ugh sorry I'm constantly ranting! These first 8 weeks have been rough!

@cagnew I hope everything is ok with the cyst!
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Old 07-21-2014, 10:44 PM
 
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Ugh! What a butt! Glad you stood up for yourself!


I'm getting a cold. Booooo!!!!!
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Old 07-21-2014, 11:25 PM
 
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Everyone in the house besides me had a stomach bug last week (I'm so glad I didn't get it, and am praying that it is not just lying in wait for me!). My oldest two had vacation Bible school every night, T-F (they were sick Monday). On Thursday night, my youngest was in the ER after falling with a plastic pole in his mouth; he had some cuts and bleeding on his soft palette, but was otherwise fine.

SO, I'm spending this week playing catch-up! I have a thousand loads of laundry to fold, along with a bunch of other things to do. We are going to the OC Fair on Wednesday, so I'll be getting ready tomorrow night, and will probably be pretty useless on Thursday...which is great, since I invited a friend and her kids over that day. Whoops! LOL!



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Wish I could feel movement! I'm 9 weeks this Thursday and have my first ultrasound on The 1st so I'm super anxious and excited to see my little babe! I got worried for a bit because my symptoms started to disappear but new ones have arrived in their place and my uterus is feeling more firm. My mom visited last week and I ended up asking her to leave and go stay with her friends until she left. She was really rude and annoying at first, ragging on DH and I, telling us our home is unfit for a child because we don't have cable or an icemaker and our dishwasher doesn't work and because we only have one bedroom. You know, all those newborn MUST HAVES. I put up with that though. I was feeling really sick the whole time she was here and tried to hang out with her as much as I could but she seemed far more interested in seeing her old friends which I was fine with because I was so tired. Finally on Saturday she woke me up super early and wanted to get breakfast before she went out with friends. I told her I needed to sleep longer and she went on a rampage, calling me lazy and telling me not to be surprised when my husband left me. Being just downright cruel, so I left and told her to be gone by the time I came home. Really stressful but I feel a lot better now. Trying not to let myself succumb to guilt. Ugh sorry I'm constantly ranting! These first 8 weeks have been rough!


@cagnew I hope everything is ok with the cyst!

Ugh, I'm so sorry! That sounds horrible.

Fwiw, we lived in a one-bedroom with no dishwasher, cable, or ice maker when we had our first baby. I'm sure you already know those things aren't a big deal, but sometimes it's nice to hear it anyway! And really, why does your mom think the baby needs an ice maker???


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Crunchy wife to my high-school sweetheart, mama to DS (10/23/05) , DS (11/22/07) , DD (3/9/10) , and DS (5/26/12),  and three babies in Heaven.
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Old 07-22-2014, 05:12 AM - Thread Starter
 
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@bren94 , OMG. You are not constantly ranting--you've just got a LOT going on lately! It seems like it's really coming at you from all sides. I'm pretty mad at your mom; that's some terrible stuff to say. You already know you don't need all that extraneous stuff (...cable?! seriously???), but I want to chime in with more support and say of course that's not what being "ready for a baby" is. And neither should tiredness be some sort of indictment of how lazy you are as a person. Good heavens, you're building a person. Is SHE building a person? No, she is not. So she can just keep her ridiculous assessments to herself. I'm glad you put your foot down and said enough is enough.

A couple of weeks before our first was due, my mother looked at me and said sweetly, "Don't worry if everything isn't completely set up. New babies hardly need anything! They can sleep in a dresser drawer if they have to!" This made me laugh and laugh, since we actually were pretty set up, by our standards--we had a crib and everything, first and only time we bothered with that!--so I don't know if she just felt that I wasn't nesting enough, and maybe needed to be reassured about my lack of nesting? It was pretty funny, though. The main point is that "babies can sleep in a dresser drawer" has really stuck with me... If they're loved and fed and cared for, everything else is window dressing.

Maybe my mom had talked to your mom and they were both deadly concerned that when our first was born, our home didn't even have a dishwasher in it.
@Rikki Jean , YIKES! Really glad your youngest is okay! Palate stuff freaks me right out. I'm happy that it wasn't more serious than a little cut. Now don't get sick. @sarahknavy , that goes for you too. No colds!

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Old 07-22-2014, 05:50 AM
 
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Bren, we didn't have any of those things in our first apartment with our first kid and we were also just fine. I've even had an apartment with a dishwasher and never used it.

It sounds like your mom is a narcissist, or at the very least extremely lacking in empathy. I will say again that the most important family to you now should be your baby and husband, and anyone who is not on board with making your life a better one needs kicked out permanently. There is no excuse for verbal abuse.

Three kids and one on the way.
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Old 07-22-2014, 10:59 AM
 
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Wow....good for you Bren for booting those nasty vibes out!

Mama to oneone, and a brand new!
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Old 07-22-2014, 11:08 AM
 
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Thanks guys, it's good to be reassured I wasn't just overreacting. I'm starting to really consider how much I want her involved in my baby's life in the future. I'm thinking very minimally.

June 18th, 2014
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Old 07-22-2014, 11:16 AM
 
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Can anyone tell me why baby girl clothes have to be cut so much smaller than boys??? My 17 month old shouldn't need to wear a 3t ....(the same size as her 3 year old brother)
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Old 07-22-2014, 11:22 AM
 
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Can anyone tell me why baby girl clothes have to be cut so much smaller than boys??? My 17 month old shouldn't need to wear a 3t ....(the same size as her 3 year old brother)
Wow, I never had that issue with my kids' clothes. Are you finding this in a particular brand or across the board?

Mama to add 10/05; ds 3/09, and two angels
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Old 07-22-2014, 11:27 AM
 
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Wish I could feel movement! I'm 9 weeks this Thursday and have my first ultrasound on The 1st so I'm super anxious and excited to see my little babe! I got worried for a bit because my symptoms started to disappear but new ones have arrived in their place and my uterus is feeling more firm. My mom visited last week and I ended up asking her to leave and go stay with her friends until she left. She was really rude and annoying at first, ragging on DH and I, telling us our home is unfit for a child because we don't have cable or an icemaker and our dishwasher doesn't work and because we only have one bedroom. You know, all those newborn MUST HAVES. I put up with that though. I was feeling really sick the whole time she was here and tried to hang out with her as much as I could but she seemed far more interested in seeing her old friends which I was fine with because I was so tired. Finally on Saturday she woke me up super early and wanted to get breakfast before she went out with friends. I told her I needed to sleep longer and she went on a rampage, calling me lazy and telling me not to be surprised when my husband left me. Being just downright cruel, so I left and told her to be gone by the time I came home. Really stressful but I feel a lot better now. Trying not to let myself succumb to guilt. Ugh sorry I'm constantly ranting! These first 8 weeks have been rough!

@cagnew I hope everything is ok with the cyst!
How awful!! Meanwhile, my mother just can't understand why I would want to do this now (I am in year 2 of a divorce). She says she understands "people do it all the time" but never thought I would. Um, well, because I will be 50 taking my kid to kindergarten and being 50+ is especially unappealing. Plus, I don't think the court expects me to stop my life just because that sociopath is being difficult and holding up finalizing the divorce.

My attorneys actually congratulated me and gushed and made me promise to let them babysit. How's that for adverse reactions from my legal process?

Mama to add 10/05; ds 3/09, and two angels
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Old 07-22-2014, 11:32 AM
 
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Wow, I never had that issue with my kids' clothes. Are you finding this in a particular brand or across the board?

The ones I just ordered are Jumping Bean (the Kohls brand). Carters are better since she only needs a 2t in shirts in that size. I don't have many other brands to compare both girls and boys sizes though
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Old 07-22-2014, 12:17 PM
 
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The cyst must be okay. I can't feel it today. My OB said that unless I am in terrible pain, there is no need to come in.

Valerie: Waiting to hear how your appointment went!

Corrie, "trad" Catholic, wife to DH and Mom to DD (4/07), DS (2/09), DD (2/11), DD (4/13), two angel babies. 
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Old 07-22-2014, 02:00 PM
 
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IT'S NOT TWINS!!!

I'm very happy about the appointment. Baby (singular) is healthy and the only downside is I have a heart murmur, but that is very common and won't cause complications. They also checked my ovaries during the sonogram and nothing to report there. Due date hasn't changed a day.

The only depressing part is how much I will be charged for a natural bodily process. We have the best insurance we've ever had and it's still going to be around $4,000 at least with deductibles and co-pays. I'm just glad I don't need anything expensive for the baby once it arrives. My stroller/car seat combo is not expired until 2016, I still have the crib and mattress, and I only need the cheap stuff like toys and clothes. The only thing that should cost a bit up front is cloth diapers. I'm doing that again, I really enjoyed using them last time. But this time I will be getting the kind where the inserts are attached to the diaper. I thought it would save diapers to get the detachable inserts, but the shells always get a little something on them no matter what.

Three kids and one on the way.
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Old 07-22-2014, 02:08 PM
 
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Good to hear, Valerie! Good grief, why is it costing you so much!?

June 18th, 2014
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Old 07-22-2014, 02:19 PM
 
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Good to hear, Valerie! Good grief, why is it costing you so much!?
It's individual deductible of $750 (each calendar year) and family deductible of $1500 or so, and then I pay 20% of the remaining balance after reduced rates and deductibles are met. So I have whatever happens this year, but that shouldn't be much because my deductible is either met or almost met. And next year is when it will hit. I will have a bill from the OB, a bill from the hospital (one for me, one for the baby), and some miscellaneous charges from providers who provided services while at the hospital. So based on what I'm expecting to be $3000 from the OB and $13000 from the hospital (total), that should end up being at least $4000. And the sad part is, this is good insurance these days.

Three kids and one on the way.
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Old 07-22-2014, 02:33 PM
 
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Little baby was measuring exactly on target at 10+2 and moving all over the place. And I confirmed that I am actually feeling movement! Which is earlier even than my last one.
I have been feeling movement too, but only when trying to lay on my stomach. Apparently this baby is already telling me that it wants its space and to quit squishing it.


I went to a clothes swap on Sunday night. I was able to trade out clothes that don't fit for a bunch of maternity stuff. I did a 6 week postpartum visit for one of my clients and it came up that I am pregnant. She also gave me a ton of maternity stuff. So hopefully I am all set on that. I love the way this is slowly coming together even though I totally did not plan on having another baby.

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Old 07-22-2014, 04:01 PM
 
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Ooo. Free stuff is awesome!
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Old 07-22-2014, 04:09 PM
 
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Free stuff is amazing! I'm needing to stock up on mat clothes soon too. All my normal clothes are too tight, and my larger sizes are getting snug too

I just had my first midwife appointment today! It was just the usual first appt: history, etc. I also got the requisitions for the quad screen and she gave me requisitions for both a dating U/S and a NT U/S. I was hesitant about the dating U/S, but apparently the hospital here will no longer use LMP for calculating gestational age and will instead refer to U/S results. If the only U/S with dating is the 20wk one, it's not super accurate! So, I guess I'll be getting 3 this time. It could be worse! I don't mind so much since we couldn't listen for the heartbeat with doppler today (she said it was too early), and I'd really love confirmation that everything is okay in there!

Breastfeeding, cosleeping, homebirthing scientist mama to DD1 07/08, DD2 06/10 and a third on the way 02/15!

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Old 07-22-2014, 05:16 PM
 
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Valerie- Glad you had a good appointment! Sorry about the cost though My DH is a public school teacher so we have pretty good insurance (for now... I expect that will eventually change as everything else in the country changes). It would totally stress me out to have to come up with so much money!

I can't figure out what is going on with my profile pic. On my User CP, it shows that my pic is a lamb cake (the pic I want), but on the forums, it still shows the picture of my third baby. Maybe I need to delete it all and try again.

Corrie, "trad" Catholic, wife to DH and Mom to DD (4/07), DS (2/09), DD (2/11), DD (4/13), two angel babies. 
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Old 07-23-2014, 09:35 AM
 
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Although I miss my husband when he is gone... I really do... I don't really miss him between 9pm-630am. I get to sleep alone in bed. I get to go to bed earlier.It's cooler. I have more space. No alarms!!! Ahhhh blissful sleep I feel so incredibly rested even though I am still sick and woke up a ton. Yay for 6 weeks of glorious sleep.

Finally got an appt with my actual doctor after some more paperwork issues. Just have to find a sitter who will watch the kids at 7 am...
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Old 07-23-2014, 08:28 PM
 
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Hi everyone! Been awhile since I've had a few mo to write any news. Been struggling a bit with health stuff, started testing blood 4x a day for high blood sugar, and logging everything I eat. Hard not to obsess when you're doing that. So far numbers are ok. Today got a call that thyroid function is low and need to medicate. Just feeling a bit sad that despite huge efforts with diet, all this is still going on. I know I'm lucky, that baby still seems ok, that all these things are minor, but fee
l a bit low. Stiil full time at work, and DP is gone Mondays thru Thursdays so balancing nausea, fatigue and anxiety with caregiving at work and being a mama to my sweet boy feels like a struggle. Did a quick read through a bit of the thread, and see a a lot of other struggles going on: love and light to those who need it, and thank you for just being out there, all of you.

Francaise and American, third culture lady, loving life with DP Justin and DS Merlin, b 04/01/09 - Hoping to welcome "petite graine" in February 2015

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Old 07-24-2014, 05:04 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for checking in, @PicklinQueen . You've got a lot going on, yourself! Sounds like a hard load to carry. I hope something shifts soon, enough that you start to feel things are a little lighter on you. I just noticed in your signature that our sons are just a few weeks apart in age--mine was born 04/17/09. Will yours be going off to school in a couple of weeks? Ours is starting French immersion school, et toute la famille attend cet événement avec enthousiasme!

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Old 07-25-2014, 07:09 AM
 
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Hi mamas!
There has been so much happening I haven't posted here yet but it's great to connect with You!

I am 9 wks 6 days now and have been really sick. Vomiting almost every morning and so tired. Also, the smells! The fridge, the trash, the diaper pail- they are my nemesis. My last pregnancy the nausea faded in the 2nd tri so I'm just counting the days. My lo wakes really early at 530/545 and my husband has been getting up and taking care of her until I can get up, and he is so tired! He's really struggling and stressed and ugh, I just wish I wasn't so sick bc I can't do anything esp before 11 am or so. Often I Can't keep down food or water - it's awful. Then I can gradually nibble and in the afternoon feel a bit better. I got the sea bands and they help I think? Hard to tell.

On the upside I had my first midwife appt this week and she wanted a dating u/s bc I wasn't having a regular cycle yet when I got preg so the LMP date is unreliable apparently. So we got that yesterday and it was so amazing! The heartbeat is good and the date they got was 2/19 (my LMP date was 2/21) so it's really what we thought anyway. I saw the little one move on the screen- I'll never forget that, wow! All looks good so that it a joy, even though I feel crappy.

The other big news is that I didn't get a job! I was a finalist for a job in NYC and it was a big deal opportunity, but I found out I was preg in the midst of the process and it was pretty stressful. I had to fly down there for the final interview and try not to barf. If I had gotten it, it would've meant moving our family by sept, and restarting our life in ny, while pregnant with a 1 yo- and I probably would've had to take a very short mat leave. Anyway it was kindof nuts. So they went with the other guy- good for them. I'm relieved and have faith that it just wasn't meant to be. It presents some financial challenges, but also means that I can focus on the new baby and prob put off looking for FT work again for a year, when new baby is 6 mos.

One more thing to share - DH and I were talking yesterday about how last time w our first child everyone was like "oh wow congratulations!!" And now, the few ppl we've told are like, surprised, not too excited, even judgey it seems, like "oh, if that's what you wanna do?". I guess it is soon (they'll be 23 mos apart) but...? I don't know, anyone else having this experience ?

Thanks for listening ladies!
doylec is offline  
 
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