Managing Weight Gain (Emotionally) - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 08-19-2014, 03:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Managing Weight Gain (Emotionally)

Hi Ya'll! I really want to chat about gaining weight. We all do it differently but I always feel like I must be doing something wrong. I just can't accept that I am a mama who just gains 70 lbs no matter what whenever I'm pregnant.


Each time I eat differently, have a different diet and exercise lifestyle, and each time I gain a ton of weight. DH thinks I'm crazy for even trying not to gain so much since it just seems to be my body's way for making a baby, but alas I'm determined to do my very best.


I am 19 weeks and have gained 1 lb so far but I was 25 lbs over my ideal weight when I fell pregnant so I am about where I usually am on the scale about now.


My real concern is that I lost weight in the first trimester and I've slowly been gaining it back the last month. However, I just gained 5 lbs in two weeks and seem to be gaining 2 lbs per week now! That will give me a 40 lb gain which is double what I am shooting for.


Any tips? Any other big gainers out there that have figured out how to cut down gain?


FWIW, I eat a nearly clean paleo diet mixed with some traditional diet stuff, and have a sweet treat maybe once a week. I take in roughly 1700 cals/day but that isn't exact. I don't know how in the world I am gaining 2 lbs per week!!!!


How are you all doing with weight gain issues and emotional stuff?

Wife to my Sweetness and Light, DH (03), WAHM to DS('01), DS('11), and DS('13). Encouraging mothers everywhere to write for their lives. Expecting our fourth and final baby( It's a GIRL!!!) in January 2015.
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#2 of 11 Old 08-19-2014, 04:35 PM
 
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I'm finding it harder this time for sure. I didn't have a scale the first two times, but I'm pretty sure I gained about 40-50lbs. I generally tend to gain more in the 1st tri than is 'recommended'. So far I've gained about twelve lbs at 13.5 weeks. I do think my gain tends to slow down in the beginning of the second tri, so I'm trying to not let the initial gain get me down. But I am feeling worse about it this time. I just try to remind myself that my babies come out healthy, and not too large (in the 7lbs range) and that I need all the extra to make milk postpartum.

I think some women just need to gain more to maintain a healthy pregnancy. As long as your diet is good (and it sounds amazing!), then I think it's just one more of those things we have to surrender to as mothers. I'm going to try very hard to keep reminding myself of that fact too. I think I'll put the scale away for the rest of this pregnancy. My midwives never seem to care or even ask about it

Breastfeeding, cosleeping, homebirthing scientist mama to DD1 07/08, DD2 06/10 and a third on the way 02/15!

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#3 of 11 Old 08-19-2014, 04:50 PM
 
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I agree with Murrelet. Your diet sounds like it's free of most of the "bad" stuff and your calorie intake actually sounds on the low side to me. I do believe some women just need to gain the weight, for whatever reason. A friend of mine is a tiny little thing and eats very healthy. She still gets huge and gains a lot of weight with each pregnancy (and she hates it).

I gained a lot with my first two babies, but my diet was crummy. I think I gained 50-60lbs by the end of pregnancy #2 . I was more careful with the next two, hoping to keep it at 25 lbs... but still gained 30-40. I stopped watching the scale in the third trimester because I was becoming obsessive about it. This time I feel myself becoming obsessive again because I just have this feeling that I am going to be really big, like I was with my second baby. I don't know why I feel this way... maybe because the 2nd was a boy and I feel like this baby is a boy too? I don't know. But I don't like it.

Oddly enough, I had a lot more pain during my pregnancies where I gained less. I thought the opposite would happen. I realize the pain might have been unrelated to weight gain... probably more related to however the babies were positioned. Still, I was surprised. Sooo... maybe gaining more weight is good for me? I'm short and I carry low and really big, so maybe the weight keeps me from being unbalanced and toppling over? Haha.

Corrie, "trad" Catholic, wife to DH and Mom to DD (4/07), DS (2/09), DD (2/11), DD (4/13), two angel babies. 
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#4 of 11 Old 08-19-2014, 06:01 PM
 
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I can't give you any advice because I'm in the exact same boat as you, well, almost. I started this pregnancy at 25 lbs. overweight and have no idea how I'm going to keep from gaining too much. My diet has been all over the place, but mostly lacking in sugar because I've had an aversion to it. I have maintained my weight so far in the first trimester at 150 lbs. So we'll see where it goes from here. I gain anywhere from 40-60 lbs. per pregnancy and then I just breastfeed. And then as soon as I don't breastfeed, that's when the gaining starts. The last time I quit breastfeeding, I was was working out almost every day, but I still gained about 10 lbs. that wouldn't go away and that gradually increased to 25 over my comfortable weight when I quit exercising because I went back to work full time. I'm looking forward to getting into shape AFTER the delivery this time.

Oh, and maybe you also gain muscle during pregnancy from having to lug all that extra weight around. It is possible, muscle weighs more than fat.

Three kids and one on the way.
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#5 of 11 Old 08-19-2014, 07:25 PM
 
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I have no advice, only support. I have NO scientific evidence for what I am about to say, so take it with a grain of salt. You are building a living, thriving, GROWING human being. It is not a parasite that should be expected to canabalize your tissue for growth. Babies will deplete nutritional stores, however, so a fantastic diet (such as yours) is key. But I think our cultural/medical establishment idea of forcing a woman to not gain weight during pregnancy is tantamount to doctor-induced anorexia. We completely ignore bio-individuality any more. My sister is at the opposite end: she barely gained 15 pounds and she is crazy-underweight to begin with. Her OB was threatening her, begging her to eat Snickers, etc.... Her baby was in the mid-7 pound range-- perfectly healthy. I think what you eat is far more important that what you gain. You could eat nothing but crap and gain nothing, or eat great food and gain a ton.

All that being said, is your thyroid a-ok? Are your hormones ok? Are you well hydrated and physically active? If you are getting a clean bill of health and eating a Paleo/Traditional diet, I say you are golden. Your body is doing what it was designed to do and doing it beautifully. Can you throw away your scale and be extra-gentle with yourself? Hang in there.
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#6 of 11 Old 08-20-2014, 06:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh! You all have really helped ease my guilt over super-gaining and maybe have inspired me to hide my scale. I did with the last pregnancy and felt very little stress over gain (so that was great) but once I did weigh myself toward the end I freaked out (ANOTHER 65+ gain??!!??). I've been telling myself that weighing in every day and only recording it once a week is going to help me keep myself in check and not eat any junk (which I admit I do have every once in a while, but it is like GF pretzels or something...) but I think maybe I am fooling myself.


DH told me this morning when I found that over night I gained 5 lbs of water weight that he was so glad, and he laughed! When I questioned him about why he wasn't rooting for me, he totally schooled me: he said he is supporting me--he's totally rooting for me to make a healthy baby and eat well and take walks and to accept that my body is going to do what it needs to do when I'm pregnant. He is rooting for me to stop feeling so carppy about myself and just accept myself.


I feel better. I am glad that some of you are also dealing with a similar kind of situation. Duchess I really appreciate what you said as well. I *know* deep down that it's true. But it is difficult, really really difficult, to accept that I am on the giant side of the weight spectrum no matter what I do. Ugh. Oh, well. I was hoping so hard that I could beat the SUPER gain this time. You'd think after three others that I'd accept by now, but no


I just might put the scale away. Thinking about it.


And I don't know about my thyroid or hormones as far as tests go. But I feel normal, just pregnant. Are those things people normally test for?

Wife to my Sweetness and Light, DH (03), WAHM to DS('01), DS('11), and DS('13). Encouraging mothers everywhere to write for their lives. Expecting our fourth and final baby( It's a GIRL!!!) in January 2015.
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#7 of 11 Old 08-20-2014, 07:15 AM
 
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I haven't gained any. at all yet but I am worried about my blood pressure. High blood pressure runs in my family and I have awful anxiety, especially when getting my bp taken. I just get so nervous before they do it so normally the nurse will let me relax for a minute before taking it. This last appointment the nurse was very impatient and when I asked if I could have a minute she seemed really annoyed so I just let her take it. It was 130/80 the highest it's ever been. My doctor didn't seem worried but I really am.
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#8 of 11 Old 08-20-2014, 07:27 AM
 
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I gained 30 lbs with my son. And when I left the hospital after having him I weighed 8lbs more than I did when I got pregnant. Wasn't to bad. But I am also 5'2 and 25lbs overweight. This time around I haven't gained anything. I'm 16 weeks and nothing.But I Iave been eating healthier than I usually do! But I also have ulcerative colitis. So I fear they are going to suggest I take my meds because I haven't gained any weight : (
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#9 of 11 Old 08-20-2014, 08:37 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bren94 View Post
I haven't gained any. at all yet but I am worried about my blood pressure. High blood pressure runs in my family and I have awful anxiety, especially when getting my bp taken. I just get so nervous before they do it so normally the nurse will let me relax for a minute before taking it. This last appointment the nurse was very impatient and when I asked if I could have a minute she seemed really annoyed so I just let her take it. It was 130/80 the highest it's ever been. My doctor didn't seem worried but I really am.
Sounds like "white coat hypertension". Take your bp at the grocery store pharmacy whenever you're out. You'll get a better reading. At my 7 week OB appointment, my bp was 150/90! At my midwife appointment, it was 120/62, or something like that. At the OB, I was nervous about whether we'd see a heartbeat on the u/s, plus I'd been waiting in a waiting room for 45 minutes and was annoyed.

My OB didn't even mention my bp when he came in the room. In the past, when it's been high like that, they've taken it at the end of the appointment, and it's much, much lower. While I always have this issue with doctors (even when not pregnant), I have never had real bp issues during pregnancy. Even at the end, my bp stays fine.

Mama to Tornado Boy (6/04), The Brute (11/06), and Mischief (05/09)... expecting in February '15
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#10 of 11 Old 08-20-2014, 10:07 AM
 
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Originally Posted by writermama12 View Post
And I don't know about my thyroid or hormones as far as tests go. But I feel normal, just pregnant. Are those things people normally test for?
You can get a routine blood test that will show flags if your hormones are out of whack. Thyroid would show up on there, too, as it is one of the glands that produces hormones.

Three kids and one on the way.
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#11 of 11 Old 08-20-2014, 06:42 PM
 
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I agree with Valerie-- I was just running through a quick mental list of other health factors that can be considered to monitor your over-all well-being.
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