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Responses from people.

1K views 26 replies 16 participants last post by  sarahknavy 
#1 ·
I know I'm further along than most of the people on here, but I'm noticing belly shots of some very obvious bellies. Now that you're pregnancy is becoming real to the people around you, are you loving the responses?

I took last week off of work, and returned today to oohs and aaahs, and happiness of people around me regarding my belly. It was so joyous! I love how new life creates such a response from people

I officially have an obvious - YOUR PREGNANT!! - belly at 20 weeks. You have no idea how happy that makes me!
 
#2 · (Edited)
I get poked and rubbed a lot now lol

Also on an airport shuttle the other day a man gave up his seat for me! That was nice
pregnancy perks!

When people tell me not to "use" my pregnancy I just wonder "why the heck not!?" I'm growing a person, might as well get my back scratched now and then.

When my MIL told me the other day that pregnancy is no excuse to be lazy I just told her "oh it SO is." Not that I'm lazy, I work 50 hours a week but I truly believe being pregnant IS an excuse to be lazy sometimes. Sorry, didn't mean to go off on an unrelated tangent!
 
#3 ·
No, I agree, Bren. It took my ego a little while to surrender to that notion, but seriously... We're making a person!! Give us a little slack here! We're putting in 10x the energy a day, just in a more concealed way.
I still like to do for myself, but I have lightened the "your so lazy!" self talk that I gave myself in early pregnancy. It's okay to take a nap during the day! It's okay to do the sitting down tasks rather than the active ones. I'm working hard!!
 
#4 ·
I agree, no shame in taking an offered seat and being lazy (I type from my bed while DH is cooking dinner with DS)!

Last pregnancy I worked a job on my feet all day and frequently took a packed subway home. At the end there I started asking people for a seat if no one offered. I was continually shocked by how often young, healthy people would look at me, hugely pregnant, and go right back to fiddling on their phones. Maybe I was spoiled being raised in Texas (on the student bus in college if it was full there was always a shuffle at each stop as the guys have up seats for the girls who got on).


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#7 ·
Last pregnancy I worked a job on my feet all day and frequently took a packed subway home. At the end there I started asking people for a seat if no one offered. I was continually shocked by how often young, healthy people would look at me, hugely pregnant, and go right back to fiddling on their phones. Maybe I was spoiled being raised in Texas (on the student bus in college if it was full there was always a shuffle at each stop as the guys have up seats for the girls who got on.
San Franciscans are The Worst about this. I became absolutely ferocious about it on BART, where I was frequently ignored: I'd plant myself in front of somebody and aggressively open my coat and just STARE at them incredulously. It generally worked.

I only had to stand once while heavily showing in DC, and when that happened a woman standing next to me asked me, quite loudly, "Gosh, wouldn't you rather sit down?!" It was very sweet of her and certainly had the desired effect.
 
#5 ·
No responses from strangers as of yet. Although I think I do look obviously pregnant when wearing my maternity clothes, it's still kind of a smaller bump that people probably wouldn't comment on yet. Taking advantage of being lazy? Oh yeah. If my husband is going to offer to make dinner and do the dishes, I'm not going to argue. :) Apparently my MIL has said I shouldn't be lifting things. And my husband thinks I shouldn't be travelling. I'm getting kind of annoyed about people telling me I shouldn't do things that I'm still very capable of doing. If there's some medical reason not to do certain things, then I can abide by that. But otherwise I just want to keep on with life and trust myself to know when I'm pushing too much or feeling uncomfortable or unable to do something.
 
#6 ·
My bump must be too subtle still because I haven't heard any comments because of it. People that know I'm pregnant have either not said anything or been very kind or asked awkward inappropriate questions. :)
 
#9 ·
A friend offered to carry something for me and yelled at me when I said no, so I let her. I also let my hubby pitch in more and I sleep more, too. I don't consider these things lazy! It is totally 'self-care' when I limit myself. If a friend/DH/stranger wants to do something for me, I figure I am giving them an opportunity to show kindness or give a good example to others. :) I am growing a person... It is the least I/they can do!
 
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#10 ·
I went to town with some friends and cars would stop to let me cross the road, even a non designated crossing points :smile:

I've had lots of jokey comments along the lines of " have you figured out what causes it yet?" "You and your husband need a tv in your bedroom!" :serious:

There's a man in our village who rubs his own belly, gives thumbs up and grins stupidly every time I walk or drive past. I hardly know him and its a bit creepy! Think he means well though lol
 
#11 ·
I'm just glad that the weeks have caught up to my belly! I've been so bloated from the get-go and I start showing early and get so humongous that by 7 months I can't go anywhere without getting multiple comments "are you sure it's not twins?" "you look like you're ready to pop!" etc. So this is my sweet spot! I get occasional nice comments like "congratulations" and I do my best to not say when I'm due (knowing they are probably thinking I'm in my last trimester)! It was so awkward when people would say "wow, how far along are you" and I'd be all sheepish "8 weeks."

As far as being LAZY. Oh my. Yes, it is a big job growing a human being. I had the freedom (worked at home) and foresight to be super "lazy" with my first pregnancy. Mostly with sleep. I just slept whenever!! Slept in, took naps. And after that baby came, I was so glad I did! 9 years later, and I still think back longingly on all that sleeping I did. Don't regret it for a moment, and don't expect I'll get to duplicate it for another 10 years or so!
 
#12 ·
Am I the only one that gets annoyed pretty much any time someone comments. I do ok with questions but any and all comments besides " how fun, babies are a blessing" type things just annoy me. Don't comment on my size or ask me how I am doing...
 
#15 ·
@sarahknavy, I never know how to answer the question, "How is baby doing?" Uhhh... Really I don't know! Good, I guess. I am growing and s/he is moving. Does anyone get this question? How do you answer?
 
#13 ·
I'm still at the stage where strangers probably see I'm pregnant, but they won't comment yet because there is still a chance it's just fat. I'm only 17 weeks though.

My husband has been concerned about me doing stuff, but I don't mind that coming from him. ;) The kids have certainly become good little slaves lately. :D
 
#23 ·
People have been sweet and beyond thrilled for me. In the beginning, while I was still in disbelief it felt weird, like they were more excited than me. Or, like they had the ability to show excitement in a way I was afraid to (due to hx of misarriage). But their excitement helped me move past that stage.

When my in-laws (both in their mid-70s) were in town when I was 15 weeks, they tried to insist on sleeping on our guest futon on the floor so I could have my bed. I was like, "ummm. no". But I will admit I was ready for my bed off the floor after a week!

People at work are mostly awesome. I really don't think they would notice if I wasn't telling them and pointing out my little bump proudly, at which point they usually squeal and get these looks that tell me they are reminiscing about their own journeys to motherhood. It's very sweet. The ladies in the front office recently found out, and started hooting and hollering, which totally surprised me - especially because there are SO many pregnant women at my job, it's actually kind of funny. I have been telling my clients (all moms, most with infants) to prepare them I will be leaving in February. Amazingly they don't typically notice (I am sitting there with the buttons of my shirt popping open over my belly), but when they find out they are super sweet and happy for me. I get lots of "it's your first? ooh, aah oh!".

I must say that I feel so embraced when others (even strangers) show such joy for me, because I am used to holding that more intimately between my husband and myself.

The only annoyance is when people try to tell me they know something I don't (about my body, the baby etc). One colleague told me she always knows the sex intuitively and has never been wrong, and I am having a boy. I mean, maybe she's right, but we're waiting to find out so just chill!

I'm still at the stage where strangers probably see I'm pregnant, but they won't comment yet because there is still a chance it's just fat.
A friend at work the other day who is often gets mistaken as pregnant because she has skinny legs and a rounder middle, found out and told me she noticed, but didn't want to say anything just in case "you'd just gained a bunch of weight like me".

@sarahknavy , I never know how to answer the question, "How is baby doing?" Uhhh... Really I don't know! Good, I guess. I am growing and s/he is moving. Does anyone get this question? How do you answer?
YES! And I hate it because I am still wondering if I actually feel movement, or if it is all in my mind, so I don't even have that to go on. Sometimes I say, "Good, I think... I'm still pregnant, so that's a good sign" which probably freaks people out, but it is kind of what I tell myself when I get worried. So, yeah, that's an awkward question.
 
#14 ·
I am at that same point @boscopup . Depending on what I wear I am either obviously pregnant or I am maybe pregnant/maybe fat. The maternity clothes make it look obvious, or anything clingy, but if I am wearing my regular t shirts then it looks like I'm just kind of a slob.
 
#17 ·
Those four questions sound about right ha ha. I get asked how the baby is doing all the time and I say great because I like to send her positive energy and I do believe she is really doing great. People know about my first miscarriage so it may be their subtle way of checking that I'm still pregnant lol.
 
#19 ·
I had lunch with some girls from my last job recently and as I was meeting them, one of them said, "Oh, look at the baby!" or something like that and put her hand on the top of my ginormous tummy. I didn't have the heart to tell her that she was just feeling my intestines, since the baby is actually all below the belly button. But I thought it was nice of her to say/do that. I don't get out much, at least not around people I know.
 
#21 ·
People mostly just ask how I'm doing and they say it like they're expecting me to rant about how hard it is being pregnant or something but I never have anything more to say then "fine" and smile politely. And then they just kind if stare at me like they want me to tell them more! Oh and people will almost always follow that up with "have you been throwing up a lot?" Which I feel is the weirdest question to ask someone.
 
#24 ·
I've got a friend who was so frustrated by "And how is baby doing?" that she used to threaten to answer like he was a ten-year-old. We had lots of fun brainstorming sarcastic answers: "Well, he's super excited about the Royal baby arriving soon!" "He's okay, but a little sniffly lately." "You know, thank you for asking. We've been having serious discipline problems with him lately. Any tips?"

As silly as the question is, I think it can be hard for folks to show their interest and caring for anyone at all without jumping to the de facto "How is _____?," so... I guess I personally am not usually bugged by the usual inane questions.
 
#25 ·
Yesterday I had 4 friends point out how "round" I was getting and 3 strangers are the grocery store comfortable enough to assume I was actually pregnant. I probably wouldn't care so much if I wasn't so subconscious about my weight gain this time. I started 7lbs up because I weaned my daughter and forgot to stop eating for two. Opps. I also want to move to a house where I have sidewalks but that might take a while.

Anywho. I just wish it would be invisible for a couple months so I wouldn't have to think about it.
 
#26 ·
@ Sarahknavy, I've seen your sweet bump pictures on the other thread-- for what it's worth everytime I think, "She's so teeny for this being her third!" Go figure. I wish I had sidewalks too. I have considered putting a dozen eggs in my stroller to chuck at cars that come too close to DD1 as she rides (as safely as possible) down the road.

I've only had one or two strangers comment, asking if I know if I'm having a boy or girl. I think because DD2 is exceptionally tiny, they assume it is left-over baby weight from her. But, I actually prefer to go about my day with no comments about my body, unless someone wants to tell me I look great. Then I'm all ears. :)
 
#27 ·
@ Sarahknavy, I've seen your sweet bump pictures on the other thread-- for what it's worth everytime I think, "She's so teeny for this being her third!" Go figure. I wish I had sidewalks too. I have considered putting a dozen eggs in my stroller to chuck at cars that come too close to DD1 as she rides (as safely as possible) down the road.

I've only had one or two strangers comment, asking if I know if I'm having a boy or girl. I think because DD2 is exceptionally tiny, they assume it is left-over baby weight from her. But, I actually prefer to go about my day with no comments about my body, unless someone wants to tell me I look great. Then I'm all ears. :)
Well of course I always post the empty tummy early morning picture where I look all cute baby bump. The rest of the da I think I just get so super bloated! It amazes me every time I can lose 7 lbs overnight (literally) and gain it all back the next day.

We can't safely even pretend to ride bikes on our road. I live in a cove that is all on a hill and then the road is curvy/overgrown/ and 50mph. I try to take the kids to the park often but the task of getting in the car is always so annoying!!! Only a few more months!
 
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