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Anti-Circ Issues

961 views 11 replies 9 participants last post by  tracyamber 
#1 · (Edited)
This is a question for mamas of baby boys they chose not to circumcise.

I absolutely will not circumcise my son for obvious reasons and I always make sure to be very open about that with family and friends because I'm not ashamed and though my choice isn't popular, if it can help to change one persons mind then I did something good. I don't force my beliefs on anyone, I just make them known. However people seem so adamant on forcing their beliefs down my throat. My family members told me (before I knew the gender) they pray I don't have a son because I won't circumcise him. None if this bothers me. I know my reasons and that's what matters. My question is, do any of you catch a lot of grief for not circumcising? Have you ever had any issues with inexperienced family members changing the baby's diaper? I'm afraid my MIL or someone else will retract his foreskin unknowingly. My aunt has me worried because based on a story she told me it sounds like she retracted her baby nephews foreskin while giving him a bath and I'm officially horrified to leave my child unattended with ANYONE.

Just curious new mama questions. Thanks in advance!
 
#2 ·
My mom wasn't happy about us not circ'ing. She pulled out all the typical "reasons" and none of them made any real sense to me. I just didn't see any good reason to have it done. She got over it and it hasn't been an issue since. I've never had a problem with anyone trying to retract the skin. If I thought someone might not know any better, I would just tell them up front- "Hey, if you change his diaper, you don't need to do anything to his little man except wipe it clean. Don't pull back the skin because it will hurt him." I would hope most people would respect that and understand.

The only thing I was always careful to do was watch any doctor around him. None ever tried to do anything with it.
 
#3 ·
I unfortunately circumcised the second boy because the first had been back when I knew nothing about anything. And I was talking to my doula about how if this one is a boy, I guess I have to circ because I did with my other two boys and she says, "Well, do they have the same ears?" I said, "No." And she says, "Well, then, why do they need to have the same exact penis?" So that snapped me out of my delusional thinking. If it's a boy, we won't circ and I don't really care what anyone else says.
 
#4 ·
We haven't had any particular issues. My dad and hubby are both circ'd, but my mother's younger brothers weren't so she grew up with that being normal. My inlaws have never offered to change a diaper or bathe a child (or been in a position to - like, say babysitting or coming over to help out) so that wasn't an issue. I doubt they know my sons are intact. My MIL (I have 3 sets of inlaws) questioned us a bit when DS1 was born, but she questioned everything we did, and I think cosleeping put circ'ing right out of her mind as far as crazy choices she needed to be concerned about.

However, I've found that I have to watch pediatricians like a hawk!!
 
#5 ·
Hasn't been an issue with my family. My sister's boys aren't circ'd either. My brother's boys are because they're Jewish.

The doctor is definitely the one you usually need to watch. And I'd be sure to tell anyone changing a diaper not to pull it back. I think my mom is the only one besides me/DH that changed my boys.
 
#6 ·
Wow, privilege pops up in the most interesting places. It never even occurred to me that we might need to defend our son's intact penis, but now I realize that that is because we were wildly lucky to have our son in Berkeley, with a caregiver who knew perfectly well how to care for an intact child, and then move to a progressive area near DC where folks again understood that as a matter of course. We've chosen pediatricians based on their friendliness to such matters, and I don't imagine my parents ever batted an eye (but even if they had had doubts, I think they understood the holy hell I would've unleashed on them if they'd ever tried to mess with him!). So... I wouldn't necessarily have identified this as a privilege we've been fortunate to have, but it's obviously true!
 
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#7 ·
My mom was the only to really have negative comments and she still does. The couple if times my mil watched ds son I had several conversations about not retracting during diaper changes. She was very receptive and we have had no issues with that . I did have a nightmare two weeks ago that some man retracted my son. I was so upset when I woke up for obvious reasons but relieved it was a dream.


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#8 ·
I was lucky enough to have a dad and 2 brothers who aren't circ'd. My brothers were always naked when they were little, so it was really normal for me. My parents were relieved when they found out I wouldn't be doing that. My in laws were fine with it too, they were traumatized, I think, after having it done to dh. My brother and sister actually got tons of grief from the family for circ their boys. Totally backwards from the norm! I felt bad, I have been there to help my sister with all 4 births and postpartum, but I couldn't bring myself to change my nephews diaper while it was healing, or even be in the same room. His crying would just bring me to tears.
 
#9 ·
I have never reLly encountered anyone who cares one way or the other, besides my first sons pediatrician he was very old and very unopen to further educating himself past the sixties. Both of my sons, one of my brothers, and my hubby and all his family members are intact (he was not born in the US, and the rest if the world doesn't really do circs as a matter of course!). Anyhow, I would just tell someone who you suspect might not know better but might have the occasion to bathe or change a diaper, that is no need to be doing anything other than wiping. I am really surprised when I hear how emotional some people get about this issue, but I suppose I have just been very lucky to not have anyone in my life who feels so strongly in favor of circ'ing. I think on the west coast it's much more lax and no one cares too much one way or the other which you choose for your child. Leaving boys intact is very common over here.
 
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