*~*~* Spotlight on cagnew!*~*~* - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 23 Old Yesterday, 02:19 AM - Thread Starter
 
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*~*~* Spotlight on cagnew!*~*~*

Let's get to know @cagnew !

Ask away!

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#2 of 23 Old Yesterday, 05:06 AM
 
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I don't remember, how many children do you have? Can you tell us about their different personalities? Are they excited for the new baby?
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#3 of 23 Old Yesterday, 05:29 AM
 
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How did you meet your DH? Tell us your love story!

Sewing, gardening, home birthing, co-sleeping, extended nursing, cloth diapering, baby-wearing, home schooling, attachment parenting busy mommy to dd1 (7), dd2 (4), ds (1) and two in heaven. 
 
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#4 of 23 Old Yesterday, 05:44 AM
 
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I have four children- 7, 5, 3, and 1 1/2. The oldest, DD1, is reminds me a lot of Joon from "Benny and Joon." She's just quirky and slightly "off," though you wouldn't notice unless you spent a lot of time with her. She's really smart and homeschooling her is a breeze. She has a lot of artistic talent too. Although she is affectionate, it's in a cold kind of way. Hard to explain... she's so stiff and rigid and when she tries to hug you, it's just odd. She wants to be huggy and cuddly, but it's hard to cuddle her.

DS1 is like me- a melancholic. He's bright and full of questions and spends a lot of time just thinking. His feelings get hurt easily and he sulks when he is upset. He loves being outside and doing the typical boy things- climbing, getting dirty, etc.

DD2 is a fireball!!! Total sanguine. She's the opposite of me and I LOVE it. It's like everything she does, she does with full force. She is like a ball of sunshine one of minute, and complete dark, stormy night another minute. She's drives her siblings crazy, often on purpose. She loves to sing and dance and spin and laugh. People are often drawn to her. She makes me laugh and smile and I love just watching her. Of course, when she gets mad, she stays mad for a long time. And she tends to have some trouble doing what she is told....

DD3 is our sweetest child... at least I think. She is always hugging and kissing us, way more than any of the others ever did at her age. However, she has a mean streak too and is BOSSY. She can't even talk, but you know when she is giving you "the business" or telling you to get lost.

And that's my little brood so far I can't imagine what this next one is going to be like!

Corrie, "trad" Catholic, wife to DH and Mom to DD (4/07), DS (2/09), DD (2/11), DD (4/13), two angel babies. 
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#5 of 23 Old Yesterday, 05:52 AM
 
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Your family sounds so wonderful. I love the way you described them.

What things/topics/ideas do you feel passionate about?

Please ignore my spelling-- I think faster than I type.
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#6 of 23 Old Yesterday, 06:14 AM
 
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My love story...

So once there was a mess of a girl who met a mess of a boy. She fell madly in love in with him, and they had a whirlwind romance. Before long they were engaged to be married. But the girls mess and the boys mess didn't combine so well, and things got bad very fast after their engagement. The girl had her heart broken over and over again until she finally cried out to God in desperation to save her from herself at any cost. He did... but not before things got much worse and carried on for another year. Finally, she found the strength to pick up and move away.

And life slowly began to start over for the broken girl.

I was 23 when I loved to OH and took a live-in nanny position with a family I had worked for before. I was still hurting very badly and struggling, but I joined a couple online dating sites. After a couple months, I had had enough of meeting people. The guys were either completely crazy, or there was a complete lack of chemistry. I finally reached a point where I was okay with just living and working and being single. One night I logged on to delete my profile on the last site, and just before I did it, an IM popped up on the screen. The guy in the picture was cute and his question was so ridiculous and silly that it made me laugh- and I guess that's why I answered him. He typed like a snail, so I ended up just calling him that night and we talked for hours. He lived in NJ, so we couldn't meet right away. I'm glad that's how it was though, because we got to talk about A LOT of stuff without the whole physical aspect thrown in.

A couple weeks after I started talking to him, I went with my employers to Florida. I spent all my free time on the beach, just soaking up the sights and smells and sounds- very therapeutic. I realized that I wasn't interested in another relationship that might end up badly (who is). I didn't think I would survive (literally) another bad relationship. So I prayed and asked God for a sign. I had been looking for a particular kind of seashell on the beach, but had been unable to find one that was not broken. I asked God to help me find an unbroken shell, and I would take this as a sign that he was the one and I should keep going.

Right before we left for the airport, I took one last short walk to say goodbye to the ocean. On my way back to the resort, I found my shell- except it wasn't just one shell- it was a pile of 7 or 8. They were whole and unbroken I still have them. On the plane-ride home I wrote DH a letter to give him on the day we got married.

It's a good thing I found those shells, because there were many times that they were the reason I stayed with DH during our dating and engagement period. There was never anything wrong with him- it was me. I still had a lot of healing to do and I had to struggle with the urge to run when things were stressful. Plus, I didn't have that wild-in-love feeling when it came to him. It was more of a choice- it made sense, it was responsible, it was seemed right. He was a good guy and he adored me (I have no idea why!) and I knew he would be a good husband. He didn't have any drug issues or baggage. He was patient. It was a good thing too, because he is a huggy-cuddly kind of person, and I didn't like to be touched anymore, thanks to the previous relationship. He took my coldness in stride.

To be honest, I don't think I really "fell in love" with him until after we were married... maybe 6 months into the marriage. We went through kind of a miserable situation and united in our misery... haha.

I love him more than I could ever express now. He amazes me. He is everything I needed, but didn't know I need. Heck, he is everything I wanted, but didn't know I wanted! The longer we are together, the more I love him. We've been married for 8 years and, even though we've gone through hard situations, we've always stayed strong together. He isn't perfect, but he is perfect for me. We make a good team! This in itself feels miraculous given the type of homes we grew up in.

So that's that!

Corrie, "trad" Catholic, wife to DH and Mom to DD (4/07), DS (2/09), DD (2/11), DD (4/13), two angel babies. 
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#7 of 23 Old Yesterday, 06:38 AM - Thread Starter
 
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What a beautiful story, @cagnew . The way that our relationships continue to grow and change within marriage (...and the way that they grow and change us!) truly feels to me like a gift from God. Thank you for sharing your journey together with us.

Your signature block mentions that you identify yourself as a "trad" Catholic. Would you mind telling a little bit more about your religious background/experience through life? What would you say defines a "trad" Catholic? Has it always been this way for you, or is it the result of a change in your life?

And if this isn't nosey enough, what are your hopes and dreams for your children's Christian lives and/or your family's collective Christian life?
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#8 of 23 Old Yesterday, 10:32 AM
 
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I am passionate about my faith- and that encompasses a lot of different things. I'm also passionate about pregnancy and childbirth, particularly c-section awareness and VBAC. I love having a big family and I try to advocate for having lots of children. People have a lot of misunderstandings and misconceptions about what it's like to have a big family.

I used to be passionate about politics, but not anymore. I came to the realization that most politicians and movements are all the same, and all working for the same people. Republican, Democrat... they are no different to me anymore. It's all about power and the "game". It's sickening.

Trad is short for traditional or traditionalist. Basically, this means we attend the Latin Mass (pre-Vatican II/ pre-1960's) and live according to the old customs, traditions, and calendar. We are a very small (but growing) minority in the Catholic Church. DH and I began this journey a few years ago after being exposed to the Latin Mass. We were drawn to the solemness and beauty of the Mass at first, and then the more we learned about it, the more we loved it.

Before going "trad" we went to typical Catholic parish- shallow sermons and hoaky music. The Catholic faith makes some pretty outrageous claims and has some teachings that can be hard to swallow if you don't understand the reasoning behind it. The typical Catholic Mass just doesn't seem to support all this, and I can understand why so many leave the Church or find it pointless and irrelevant. Instead of explaining the teachings with love, most clergy just skirt the issues and try to keep the money coming in. That means most Catholics have no idea what their faith teaches or why. It's not a pretty picture, but it's the truth in most cases.

So, I think the Latin Mass is gaining popularity because people are tired of sitting in a boring Mass once a week, or once a year. They want more substance. They want beauty and truth.

Unfortunately, for some reason, most trads tend to be ars-holes. They've earned a reputation for being elitist and snooty and holier-than-thou. And cranky and confrontational. And hypocritical. I have my theories as to why this is, and I am hoping that it will change as the movement grows.

*sigh* I've met very few traditionalists that I actually like and have things in common with. That makes DH and I a minority within a minority and it can feel pretty lonely! Thankfully, it's not about the people for us, it's about the Faith.

What do I hope for in the future for my family? Honestly, I want them to love their faith and follow it because they love it. Growing up, I did what I was told and that was the end of the story. I followed the rules. When I went to college, my life fell apart and I barely practiced my faith anymore. Right before I met DH I started to slowly get back into things again. DH had converted a year before we met (he had been a very active Protestant his whole life before) and was still on fire for the Church, and that helped give me a boost Then as we learned about all the old traditions and customs, I finally "got it" and started to love it. That's what I hope for my kids- that they will not just follow the rules because we say so, but that they will understand the teachings and embrace them and love them.

Corrie, "trad" Catholic, wife to DH and Mom to DD (4/07), DS (2/09), DD (2/11), DD (4/13), two angel babies. 

Last edited by cagnew; Yesterday at 10:38 AM. Reason: I type too fast and make a lot of typo's :)
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#9 of 23 Old Yesterday, 01:03 PM
 
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What is your favorite food? Do you enjoy cooking?

What are your hobbies?
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#10 of 23 Old Yesterday, 03:25 PM
 
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Thank you for sharing your love story. I loved "listening."

My Aunt is a Trad Catholic and she is very nice... When I saw you were, I thought, "Oh, she's prob a sweetheart... Just like Aunt Jenni." I have never met any other Traditionalists, though... That's a bummer the group can be how you described. :/

I am wondering about your lovely large family. Do you have an ideal #? Or are you open to as many as you are blessed with? What are some misconceptions that you feel people have about large families in general/your large family in particular? I am about to jump into the large family category (This is #4 ), and am curious what to expect (that I haven't experienced already!).

You mentioned that you homeschool (me, too!). What are some things that you love about that path? Some things that are challenging about it? What made you choose to homeschool? Do you use a particular curriculum?

Sewing, gardening, home birthing, co-sleeping, extended nursing, cloth diapering, baby-wearing, home schooling, attachment parenting busy mommy to dd1 (7), dd2 (4), ds (1) and two in heaven. 
 

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#11 of 23 Old Yesterday, 05:00 PM
 
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Favorite food... I honestly don't think I have a favorite! I am a steak and potatoes kind of girl, and I love spaghetti

I don't care for cooking much, but I love baking. Breads, cookies, cakes, cheesecakes, etc. It makes me happy to make other people happy with baked stuff. Making cake is actually one of my hobbies, and I've made a little money on the side doing it. I'm making my sisters wedding cake next year, and I was just hired to make a Nascar-themed birthday cake in Decemeber. Here are a few cakes I have made:
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Corrie, "trad" Catholic, wife to DH and Mom to DD (4/07), DS (2/09), DD (2/11), DD (4/13), two angel babies. 
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#12 of 23 Old Yesterday, 06:05 PM
 
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Wow, those cakes are amazing!

Kyle and Jordan - Married June 22nd, 2013

TTC #1 since October 2013.

My chart -

One loss - March 2014 (5 weeks)

BFP on June 13, 2014 - EDD 2/25/2014
First Beta at 12DPO-186. 15DPO-598!

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#13 of 23 Old Yesterday, 06:29 PM
 
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Wow!!! Those are cool!

Sarah- sahm to a little boy and girl with a third blessing due in Feb.
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#14 of 23 Old Yesterday, 08:45 PM
 
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*~*~* Spotlight on cagnew!*~*~*

I loved your love story and would love a piece of cake!!!! ... Lol
What made you get into cake making?


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#15 of 23 Old Today, 02:36 AM
 
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@cagnew We have so much in common! Firstly, I also identify with being a Traditional Catholic. I am a convert and my DH is a cradle Catholic. When we moved to where we now live a couple years ago there was a TLM offered every Sunday and our oldest was asked if he would like to learn to serve. We had never been exposed to the Latin before, but I knew some wonderful families from our home down south who attended, and figured it would be a good experience for our son. Well, I fell in love with the TLM right away, and after being exposed to the High Mass and learning how to cantor and chant in polyphony I could never just walk away. Unfortunately, for various reasons, our priest topped offering it every week, and I am now the president of our local Una Voce chapter; we are meeting with our pastor next week to hopefully come to an understanding and have the High Mass offered on a monthly basis. There are many problems in our pariahs, the least of which being the awful contemporary music and poor homilies. Anyhow, we are very rural so this is our only option. You are very fortunate to have a choice!

Secondly, I also loooove to bake. Cake is my specialty, and just this Saturday I did my first fondant cake and my first wedding cake for my sisters wedding! I've been considering making a little business out of it, as well. I've made a couple cakes for money, but the fondant is new to me, and at the moment I do not enjoy it as much as a frosted cake.

Anyway, it's so neat to come across another like minded mothering mom as far as the faith goes. It's something I usually keep to myself on these boards because a lot of people just can't relate.

Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
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#16 of 23 Old Today, 06:08 AM
 
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Sorry! I fell asleep super early last night and didn't get around to answering anything else.

Big families- We don't have a number. I'd like at least 8 However, we believe in just taking whatever God sends. So, we don't try to get pregnant, and we don't try to not get pregnant. It's great place to be because it's so peaceful. I never worry about when it's time to call it quits or if "now" is a good time for another baby. We just trust God. That doesn't mean that I don't dread the tough stuff about pregnancy/birth/post partum time... because I do. But I love when that's all over and I have a sweet new baby in my arms.

Most of the time when I say I have 4 children (or that this pregnancy is baby #5 ) (which, incidentally, I don't feel is a large family... not till I get to #6 do I think I've officially entered "big" family territory), I get something a long the lines of, "Better you than me!" or "Wow. I can hardly handle the one I have now." The thing is, once you get past 3 (or 2, for some people), it gets easier. I'm not super mom and I don't pretend to be, so I don't think it takes someone with a special "something" to handle more than a couple kids. I really does get easier. I have found four children to be much easier than 1 child! I have MORE free time with four than with one. And it's not because I make my kids do a bunch of work either. They do help in little ways, but that's about it for now. The reason it gets easier is because they play together. I don't have to entertain them all day. Yes, I have to referee arguments and melt downs, but that's about it.

When I just had one child, I was overwhelmed. I think that's normal. When everything is new and you are doing A LOT of learning on the job, it's crazy. You have to adjust your whole life- and so does your significant other. It can be a bumpy road! And when you add another little one, it stays hard until it's old enough to actually play. It's a lot of work, but if you can keep your head up, there are some great things on the other side!

Another misconception is that it's nearly impossible to financially handle a large family unless you have a large income or are on some kind of government assistance. I know several big families and not one of them is on welfare (I'm not welfare-bashing! I'm just refuting a common belief I encounter). As for us, we live on my husbands income as a public school teacher. We have what we need and, if we budget carefully, a little extra. We take vacations- modest ones, but we have fun-, my kids get birthday presents and Christmas presents. They have nice clothes (usually used, but you'd never know it) and get new shoes when they need them. There are certainly times when I wish we had a little more disposable income for extra stuff... but most people find themselves feeling that way at some point, even when they DO make a lot of money!

In the end, it's all about prioritizing. If you want a big family and you want to be a stay at home mom, you CAN do it, but it takes your spouse to be on the same page (BIG part of it), and commitment. It can be a scary leap to make, but it's so so worth it. In my opinion

One other thing I always hear. When I mention having several children, I have had people say, "Oh. Well, I knew a girl once who came from a big family and she HATED it. She always had to work and take care of the kids and missed her whole childhood." This makes me crazy. I usually respond with, "I'm sorry to hear that. But... I know many, many people who came from small families who hated their families, so I don't think having a lot of children is the problem." The truth is, some families are not happy. If a marriage is unhappy, or if a mother is lazy and selfish, or if the father is nothing more than an adult-child, than that leads to misery and unhappiness. Chances are good that even if those "bad" big families only had one or two children, it would still have been an unhappy household.

Plus, some kids are just difficult and unhappy. We all know at least one person in a our life that is just miserable no matter what. Who knows why or what causes it, it's just how they are.

Of all the big families I know, the unhappy big family is the exception to the rule. Most of the time, these are happy households full of laughter and arguments and noise and music and LIFE. Chaotic sometimes, messy sometimes. But I've never heard a mother say, 'I wish I had stopped at the Xth child." They couldn't imagine life without #8 or #10 or whatever. Every child is different and adds it's own beautiful addition to the household. And, often, it's the last child or two that becomes the biggest blessing to the parents. Don't know why this is, but I've seen it many times.

Corrie, "trad" Catholic, wife to DH and Mom to DD (4/07), DS (2/09), DD (2/11), DD (4/13), two angel babies. 
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#17 of 23 Old Today, 06:18 AM
 
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We homeschool for the same reasons many people do- religious reasons, educational reasons, cultural reasons. DH teaches at a public middle school and high school and there is no way we would ever send our kids there (and his schools are actually pretty good as far as public schools go). And the local Catholic school is out of the question as well.

Aside from all of that, I like being able to teach them myself. There are so many benefits! For example, when DD1 was in Kindergarten, she did a great job with her reading, but just couldn't write. I stressed out about it, but then got advice from follow homeschoolers (on MDC, if I remember) and they said to stop making her write. Just let her read. So I did. And we re-introduced writing 6 months later or so, and she did fantastically! Had she been in a school, she probably wouldn't have been able to learn at her own pace. She might have been left behind or labeled as having some problem or something. Her handwriting is beautiful now, by the way.

I like the freedom of homeschooling. Yes, it has it's challenges and there are days that I just don't feel like doing it. But isn't that true about every job or daily task?

Right now, we don't use a curriculum. I pulled from several different schools. Next year, when DD1 is on 3rd grade, I will most likely pick a school and enroll her. I'd love to be an un-schooling kind of person, but I'm not. I need the organization. I think it's important to understand what YOU need as a teacher and go with it.
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Corrie, "trad" Catholic, wife to DH and Mom to DD (4/07), DS (2/09), DD (2/11), DD (4/13), two angel babies. 
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#18 of 23 Old Today, 06:34 AM
 
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I started making cakes for my kids and found that I did a decent job The Star Wars cake was my first cake for money. I made it for a friends sons birthday. The teapot cake was a HUGE pain in the butt and it was for my daughters 5th birthday. That led to getting hired to make the beach baby cake. I've only been hired for three cakes. My problem is that when I get in my "zone", I get cranky with anyone who disturbs me. And I can be a perfectionist about it, so it causes me to stress. I guess that's why I've never tried to have a little business doing it. DH dreads when I make one I wish I could take a formal class to learn the short cuts and real tricks of the trade so that it wouldn't take me so long to do one.

Thanks for the compliments!

Gabeyho- It's always great to meet like-minded people Makes you feel like less of a freak... haha. Just kidding. Good luck with the parish! My friends DH was the head of the Bham Una Voce, but they moved away to another state (WAH!!!!!). Maybe you knew them? Right now we go to Christ the King in Cullman. The order there is NOT a Latin Mass order, but in order to be allowed the use of the monastery they had to agree to say only the TLM there. So they say the Novus Ordo in other places. It's disappointing because we were hoping a real TLM order would be allowed to come. At any rate, we are glad to have a TLM close to us. Otherwise we'd be driving an hour north every Sunday.
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Corrie, "trad" Catholic, wife to DH and Mom to DD (4/07), DS (2/09), DD (2/11), DD (4/13), two angel babies. 

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#19 of 23 Old Today, 07:02 AM
 
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Do you think you were more excited for any particular child? Or do you get more excited as time passes?

Sarah- sahm to a little boy and girl with a third blessing due in Feb.
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#20 of 23 Old Today, 09:03 AM
 
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@cagnew I don't know many people in the TLM circle. I learned about Una Voce through the southern Oregon group. Our priest travels up to them every other month to do a High Mass for them, which is very frustrating for us at his own parish, but they are wonderful people up there and have helped me to get going in the right direction and campaign for ours. Our bishop is very dismissive of our desires and we feel largely ignores our parish since we are so far away.

ANYWAY, I could go on about all that forever!! We also homeschool, and this year I am taking more of an unschooler-y approach and am loving it a little more. We'll see how that plays out as the year goes on.

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#21 of 23 Old Today, 09:23 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Just wanted to chime in and say that a) @cagnew , your cake creations are amaaaaaaaaazing! and b) while my family isn't Catholic, we are Episcopalian and currently worship at an Anglo-Catholic parish. Our services are exclusively in English, but there's a lot in the liturgy that I think I may have scoffed at earlier in my life, but that adds so much to my religious practice now. So, while we are not in precisely the same place, @cagnew and @gabeyho , there is still a lot in common there! You are most definitely not the only one.

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#22 of 23 Old Today, 09:40 AM
 
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Cagnew, and Gabeyho, I was raised Catholic, then made the switch to Protestant. BUT! I still understand, and I appreciate that you share your beliefs. In my own life, my belief system is the foundation-- I can't interpret events or concepts without my Christian worldview. Like Tee, I appreciate liturgy as well. All that being said, I'm glad to know all people's belief systems because it gives me a more complete understanding of where they're coming from-- so thanks for putting that out there.

Your thoughts on frugality and raising multiple children are really inspiring. I feel like there are two mom "personas" that dominate: the Pinterest-worthy got-it-all-together mom, and the frazzled-super-stressed mom. I'm really liking your calm balance between doing the best you can (homeschool, awesome budgeting skills, major cake talent) and being frank and non-complainy about the challenges.

I also recall you are working on an e-book for frugal baby stuff. How is that going? Do you enjoy writing as a hobby?
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Please ignore my spelling-- I think faster than I type.
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How about a favorite childhood memory? Or maybe a favorite memory with your children?

Stella, wild and gentle mama to Toby(12/14/04), Cedar(8/17/08), Luca (3/15/14), and one on the way!


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