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Positive to Counter the Negative

633 views 12 replies 9 participants last post by  happyday8598 
#1 ·
So I was thinking that maybe it would be helpful for all of us to think about what we are looking forward to about having another baby/child. Those of us with children already can name some good things about each age so that the new moms can know what to look forward to :)

Newborn: I love the way they stretch when they are waking up! They arch their backs and stick their little tush's out and it's sooo darn cute! I also love when they make eye contact and hold it. My mom always said that that was when they were falling in love with you. Swoon!

Infant: My favorite baby phase is when they learn to sit up, but can't crawl yet. They are so happy to sit up and play, and yet they can't get into trouble because they aren't really mobile yet. It's so easy to make them smile and laugh at this time too.

Toddler: I like when they have gotten really good at walking and can run around after their siblings. I also like when they learn to say "Mama!"

Preschooler: Still little, but getting bigger! I love how much they learn at this age while still being so innocent. They still cuddle, but gain a lot of independence (which is nice!).

Early Elementary Age: I like being able to carry on real conversations with my kids at this age. It's so nice to see them growing into real little people (you know what I mean!).

I don't have kids over this age, so I don't know what to expect for elementary, middle school, and teenage phases.

Anyone care to add?
 
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#2 ·
I LOVE NEWBORN BABY STRETCHES!! I also love when they just won't wake up and you can toss them around and they just sleep :) sleeping babies are my favorite :) I also look forward to seeing the new baby in all of my son's old clothes.

After that comes smiles and "talking"

Seeing how they decide will be their special way to crawl

Laughing fits at random things

Watching their personality emerge.

Seeing how they pick up on random phrases that are 10x funnier when your toddler says them.
 
#3 ·
Eye contact has been on my mind a lot lately--how special it is to really look meaningfully into each other's faces. And not only for the first few times when the baby is a newborn, but as s/he gets older, too. There are so many profound parenting moments that are made that much more meaningful by just the fact that your child is staring into your eyes.

Ooh, and nursing. It is my fond wish that every single one of us will be able to have an intense and satisfying nursing relationship with her little one. Sometimes it doesn't happen overnight, but when it does happen and it's really clicking... There's nothing like it in the whole wide world, is there?
 
#4 ·
sarah: Crawling styles- YES! My third did a total bear crawl- no knees on the floor and butt in the air. It was sooo funny! And she was FAST! Hah! I forgot about that :)

Tee: I'm hoping nursing goes well this time. Last time was not good and it was a real downer. However, I've had two other babies that nursed great, so I have hope. I can't say I ever felt much of a love for it, but I am glad I can do it and it's satisfying knowing that my body is sustaining my baby and helping to make it healthy. Plus, when it goes well, it's so much more convenient than bottle feeding. I bottle fed my first and it was a pain having to make bottles.
 
#5 ·
Newborn stretches!!! My favorite! I seriously watch videos online of newborns stretching its just so great. I'm looking forward to sweet little baby laughs that just instantly warm your heart. Having someone to cuddle and take naps with. Being his whole world and the only person he really knows for a little while. And just being able to watch a new person grow and learn and develop a unique personality.
 
#6 ·
I just love snuggling at every stage. My almost ten year old still loves snuggling with me! I love how happy and smiley babies are when they first wake up. Their first laugh is amazing! The crazy way their hair sticks out all the time. Oh and I hope this isn't weird or just me, but I really love the way baby milky breath smells. I think it's really neat when you can communicate with a one year old, who doesn't have words yet, by baby sign language. I am always so amazed at that! The first time they use the potty. I think we may actually have pictures of poop in a baby potty somewhere. Agh. There's so many!
 
#7 ·
Eye contact, yes! DS will often, even at 4, stop what he's doing and hold my face between his hands and stare at me, sometimes with a dreamy little sigh. It is THE sweetest thing in the universe!

I'm looking forward to newborn smell again. There is nothing in the world like smelling your sweet newborn's head. I'm looking forward to wearing a newborn again, having them sleep on my chest. Chest sleeping at all ages!

I also loved the age, around 6 months or so, when it's just so easy to make them laugh. At any age, I love seeing them figure stuff out, when you can see those wheels turning and they're working SO HARD on their task. I also love to see babies discover their hands; we always joke that they look like stoned teenagers - what ARE these? Are they mine? Am I CONTROLLING THIS??!

Right now I'm loving seeing DS be this real little person. So fun.
 
#8 ·
I'm not a natural "baby person." I feel like I hit my stride around the 18 month mark or so and I enjoy them more and more with each passing year. Still, there are things I just love and at every stage I catch myself wishing they'd never, ever grow up and just become like Peter Pan.

Infancy: That amazing and unforgettable newborn smell. The silkiest skin that begs to be stroked and kissed all day. Downy blonde fuzz on their heads. Squeaks and gurgles and loud stretches. Their tiny hand patting my breast as I feed them for hours on end, falling more and more in love.

Toddlers: Imitation! I love seeing my girls trying out the can opener, putting away laundry, pretending to shave their face like Daddy does. And talking-- here come all the ideas they've been rolling around with for so long. And their affection. Nothing beats a pat, a hug, or a kiss from your little one, when they give it just because they can.

Preschoolers: There is no end to the joy (and frustration) that comes from having a fully expressive and creative little person to spend your day with. Absolute love for learning and uninhibited excitement about the world around them. It makes me love natural things I've been around my whole life again, seeing them with fresh eyes.

Thanks for starting this thread. It has been really helpful as I'm beginning to feel more gripe-y about pregnancy to think about the end result: another little person to love.
 
#10 · (Edited)
I love the first months of the peace that a new baby emanates. The way you can just stare for hours at this little thing that doesn't need to do anything to have admirers totally enamored.
I love the first year of life, too. Not much I don't like about it. Those times when you can actually see the brain connections being made as it concentrates on moving its physical body the way that it consciously wants to. The little baby pudge that develops in some babies (HOPING this is a fat babe!), and smiles, and coos and eye contact that is exclusively for you.
I love the toddler years, too. Watching the brain connect concepts and understanding. It's amazing that you can actually SEE the connections happening. I love the "I can do it" stage. The sweet cuddles and squishy love.
I love the young child stage as it learns social skills and its own sense of being.
The childhood years I struggle with. I did with my own two, and I am currently with my husbands 9 year old. Something about these years I just don't love.
BUT I do love the teenage years. Their independence, their thoughts and projections on the world. Their growing independence and newfound knowledge. The fact that they can teach YOU things (intellectually... every stage they teach you things, but the intellectual capacity of teenagers has a thirst about it that they quench themselves). Often times my 16 year old and I will have a conversation where I say... "Hey, how'd you learn that? I didn't teach you that?!"
And I'm excited to watch them become adults, with their own lives and pursuits that have nothing to do with me, and everything to do with them, their path and their individuality.
 
#11 ·
HappyDay: Thank you for saying something positive about the teenage years. I HATE it when people look at me and say, "Just wait til they're teenagers!" I know families with teenagers that have no crazy problems with them, so I refuse to believe that all teenagers are just angst-filled kids who don't like their parents. I know they will be hormonal and will make some dumb decisions, but I don't just "expect" them to suddenly turn into monsters. I feel like if you expect them to do that, then they WILL do that just because you kind of give them permission to. And I hate when people dismiss the bad behavior just because "they are teenagers and that's what they do."

So thanks for the positive thoughts!
 
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#12 ·
My parents currently have two teenage girls in the house and it's a huge struggle but I wholeheartedly believe the way my dad and step mom handle them is to blame. Even though most teenagers will inevitably have their moody icky phase, the way you choose to parent them during that time will have a huge impact on how they decide to compose themselves. My parents choose the "do this because I told you to and if you don't I'll yell" approach and that is never going to get through to a teen. So yeah, not all teens are awful. Most aren't and are just really struggling to understand themselves and their place in life.
 
#13 ·
Thanks, Cagnew. I never worried we'd have a rough time during these years. I know them. I figured my younger would challenge me more than my older, so I make sure to keep a dialog going with him. He's only 13, so things could change, but even if they do, I know who he is at his core, and that's a remarkably loving, good natured, kind hearted person. So even if he loses that sense of himself during those raging hormonal stages, I know he'll return. He's gotten into some minor trouble, but our dialog through the years has helped him to see the world through a healthy lens.
I also believe that the parenting style has a lot to do with how they rebel, or don't rebel. I've learned through the years to pick my battles. And he knows my standards of behavior (which I adhere to myself, which helps), which aren't too strict.
Yes... I love my teenagers. Just typing this out and thinking of them makes my heart feel like it's bursting with pride and love.
 
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